Corrupt a Wish VIII

[Mexica Valley]

People become so happy that they stop trying to find purpose in life. The world economy collapses as the population of the planet grows evermore addicted to their happiness until you're assassinated by the now only moderately-depressed quiet kids, returning the world to reality.

I wish that one of my favorite musical artists was my girlfriend.

Granted, but it’s the cheap Indian knockoff and they break up with you within the week.

I wish for a steel penny.

[Werstonal]

But it was a stolen penny. You could say, you steel it.

I wish I no longer have Type-2 Diabetes

[Parai Hambriven]

But it was a stolen penny. You could say, you steel it.

I wish I no longer have Type-2 Diabetes

You have Type 1 Diabetes and stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

I wish I could lose some weight and get my BMI to 20.

[Indochina and Oceania]

You lost weight through the sudden disappearance of vital organs, hey, some of them are pretty heavy y’know?

I wish I could become invisible

[The Arbys Cult]

Granted, but it's the type of invisibility that only affects your body, meaning you have to be completely naked for it to work properly.

I wish that "doing it for the Vine" was a valid legal defense.

[Eclipse-0]

Granted. It was a valid reason about 10 years ago. Nowadays Vine is outdated and it's all TikTok now. Vine is no longer recognized by the courts.

I wish I didn't have a wife. (Let's do some reverse psychology)

[Floofybit]

Congratulations! Now you have a husband.

I wish I was a West Highland White Terrier with no diseases, a good owner, a happy, enjoyable life, and a 14 human year lifespan

[Mexica Valley]

Congratulations! Now you have a husband.

I wish I was a West Highland White Terrier with no diseases, a good owner, a happy, enjoyable life, and a 14 human year lifespan

Granted, you have all of that plus no legs and have to have your owner push you around in a stroller, but you still enjoy life.

I wish for Disney to make better Marvel movies.

[Teletubieland]

Congratulations! Now you have a husband.

I wish I was a West Highland White Terrier with no diseases, a good owner, a happy, enjoyable life, and a 14 human year lifespan

Granted, you have all of that plus no legs and have to have your owner push you around in a stroller, but you still enjoy life.

I wish for Disney to make better Marvel movies.

Granted. They are better. But not by a lot. Still repetitive, effects heavy and story light, but there's a couple of extra decent lines of dialogue.

I wish all my doors were automatic.

[Improper Classifications]

Granted. They are better. But not by a lot. Still repetitive, effects heavy and story light, but there's a couple of extra decent lines of dialogue.

I wish all my doors were automatic.

Granted. All doors near you now open and close on their own for no reason

I wish that I had skills in any reasonably easy category of work.

[Talkeetna Alaska]

Granted but it is now impossible to fall asleep at night

I wish I knew how to create a proper NS flag. Oh, wait i don’t care

[Improper Classifications]

Granted but it is now impossible to fall asleep at night

I wish I knew how to create a proper NS flag. Oh, wait i don’t care

Granted, however you can no longer make flags and are only able to use other peoples' flags

I wish to live for 3 more years and then die in some stupidly cool way

[Gavia Penguis]

Granted, you die by saving someone from falling into a wood chipper and fall into the wood chipper yourself, legs first, dying an excruciatingly painful death.

I wish I could look at a person an immediately know (and remember) their name.

[North Macaronesa]

Granted, you now see people wrapped in full-body suits (You can't even see their face, how wonderful!) with their name written in Comic Sans with font size 1237482314701234721384.

---

I wish I had boba every day!!!

[Improper Classifications]

Granted, you now see people wrapped in full-body suits (You can't even see their face, how wonderful!) with their name written in Comic Sans with font size 1237482314701234721384.

---

I wish I had boba every day!!!

Granted, the bubbles are poisonous.

I wish for someonee else's wish to be screwed up in a delightfully painful way

[Parai Hambriven]

They're into BDSM, so it was only delightfully painful for them and incredibly uncomfortable for us.

I wish that my school would put the American flag back up outside.

[Werstonal]

Granted, but you must hoist it up and down every dawn and dusk respectively or else you'll going be haunted by the souls of the ancestors that fought for and against the flag.

---

I wish I have unlimited money.

[The Frontier NCR]

Wish granted, now the Weimar Republic exists everywhere.


I wish I could go back in time.

[San Lumen]

granted but you mess up the timeline

I wish to have a physique like that of the YouTuber Armzbro

[The Arbys Cult]

Granted, but Amrzbro develops ALS. Since your physique is tied to his, you end up "catching" it from him.

I wish Joe Gatto returned to Impractical Jokers.

[Gavia Penguis]

Granted. Do I have to corrupt this one?
Fine. Granted, but Jim was never in the Office and you're the only one who remembers the timeline where he was in the Office.

I wish Parks and Recreation was never cancelled or at least didn't have the weird last season.

[Talchyon]

Granted. Parks and Rec was never cancelled. Every other season but the 10th was weird, and the 10th was merely so boring you'd rather watch paint ferment.


I wish that all politicians had to tell the truth or fall over dead on the spot.

[Parai Hambriven]

Political hacks that do not hold office now say that it's a concerted terror campaign by the ultra-MAGA Marxist neocon social nationalist [insert overused political slander word or phrase here].

I wish that people would just leave me alone and not judge me for my religious views.

[Improper Classifications]

Political hacks that do not hold office now say that it's a concerted terror campaign by the ultra-MAGA Marxist neocon social nationalist [insert overused political slander word or phrase here].

I wish that people would just leave me alone and not judge me for my religious views.

Granted, you no longer have religious views

I wish for my mom to stop getting fricked so much

[Trivega]

Granted. You are her substitute.
I wish CO had no adverse effects on humans