Corrupt a Wish VIII

[First American Empire]

Granted. You don't have a can opener.

I wish that the speed of light was higher.

[Boring People]

Granted. The speed of light starts smoking pot.

I wish there wasn’t so much radioactive pollution.

[Kromi]

Granted, oxygen doesn't exist so pollution doesn't exist

I wish people would occasionally go to the Polandball forum.

[America-1980s]

Granted, but everybody who goes there comes back a radicalist of whatever politics they believe in.
(Example: Radical Leftist.)

I wish nobody was homeless

[Kynor]

Granted now everyone lives in a mud hut

I wish Santa was real

[Pacomia]

Granted, street corners are now classified as “homes”, making nobody homeless.
AN: A man in Finland named “Santa” just came into existence. He has no magical powers, his name is just Santa.

I wish everybody was homeless.

[Strahcoin]

I wish everybody was homeless.

Granted; the sudden disappearance of everybody's homes leads to a widespread communist revolution that results in an absolute dictatorship that murders everyone with an ideology remotely different from it - including socialists who say that socialism is different from communism.

---

I wish hate speech laws around the world are immediately and permanently repealed.

[Kynor]

I wish everybody was homeless.

Granted; the sudden disappearance of everybody's homes leads to a widespread communist revolution that results in an absolute dictatorship that murders everyone with an ideology remotely different from it - including socialists who say that socialism is different from communism.

---

I wish hate speech laws around the world are immediately and permanently repealed.

Granted they are repealed but replaced with new hate speech laws

I wish for nothing

[Talchyon]

Granted; the sudden disappearance of everybody's homes leads to a widespread communist revolution that results in an absolute dictatorship that murders everyone with an ideology remotely different from it - including socialists who say that socialism is different from communism.

---

I wish hate speech laws around the world are immediately and permanently repealed.

Granted they are repealed but replaced with new hate speech laws

I wish for nothing

Granted. You're given nothing. But it's a corrupted kind of nothing, so it's even worse.

I wish someone would discover a corrupted form of nothing.

[Sensorland]

Granted, but it's actually pretty boring and you're very disappointed about it.

I wish for my friends to be happy.

[Spearos]

Granted. They completely forget about you and you die lonely, forgotten and miserable.

I wish for the ability to cure any illness even on myself.

[Kromi]

Granted, but if you cure any illness, it would be replaced by an even worse illness if you use it and it would become worse if you use it more.

---

I wish I could become a Kamen Rider, but without any villians coming to life.

[Federal Spanish States]

Granted, but you become the villain of the story.

I wish FSS was real. Good lord, who wouldn't want Spain to have a good economy?

[Kuniand]

Granted, but you become the villain of the story.

I wish FSS was real. Good lord, who wouldn't want Spain to have a good economy?

Granted, but FE-JONS comes to power and every independetist movement makes even stronger and destroyes the Nation.

I wish my wish cant be corromped

[Spearos]

Granted. You get no wishes.

I wish I was good at math.

[Sensorland]

Granted. You are much better than your peers at math. Also, you are in kindergarten.

I wish for a tasty cookie that I will enjoy and will not cause me any harm, mentally or physically.

[Federal Spanish States]

Granted, but you become the villain of the story.

I wish FSS was real. Good lord, who wouldn't want Spain to have a good economy?

Granted, but FE-JONS comes to power and every independetist movement makes even stronger and destroyes the Nation.

I wish my wish cant be corromped

Hol' up, so what you're saying here is: that a Spanish Nationalist and Ultraconservative party rises up, and as a result of that, every region's separatist movement becomes stronger, and they end up succeding, and the concept of a Spanish State is gone, reduced to atoms?

Last time I checked, the FE-JONS (during Franco's regime) attempted to crack down stuff like that but okay then.

/skip

[Talchyon]

Granted. You are much better than your peers at math. Also, you are in kindergarten.

I wish for a tasty cookie that I will enjoy and will not cause me any harm, mentally or physically.

Granted. You get a tasty cookie that you enjoy and causes you no harm, mentally or physically. However, it costs billions of dollars that you have to pay. Because you are not a billionaire, you are sold as a slave to work in salt mines for the rest of your life to pay off your debt.

I wish anime wasn't popular.

[New Transeurasia]

Granted, now the only thing on Netflix is The Office(Until 2021) and shitty Netflix originals.

I wish for a can of beans with a stay-tab on it so i can walk around drinking it like a can of soda

[Talchyon]

Granted, now the only thing on Netflix is The Office(Until 2021) and shitty Netflix originals.

I wish for a can of beans with a stay-tab on it so i can walk around drinking it like a can of soda

Haha! I don't get Netflix!

/skip

[Synne Industries]

Granted, now the only thing on Netflix is The Office(Until 2021) and shitty Netflix originals.

I wish for a can of beans with a stay-tab on it so i can walk around drinking it like a can of soda

The can is cursed and beans start showing up everywhere in your life. As you drink more and more beans the beans start invading your life. Putting on shoes? Beans, a lot of them too. Sitting around in an office and... wait a sec, is it just me or was that clock full of beans? Walking down the sidewalk and a statue of beans resembling a human can be seen in the driver's seat of a passing car. You get home and your family is gone, just beans. You try to cry but beans flow down your cheeks in a mush. Oh God, the beans, all the beans, when will it end?

---

I wish I could consume calories from raw materials e.g. gasoline, wood, uranium etc.

[New Transeurasia]

Granted, now the only thing on Netflix is The Office(Until 2021) and shitty Netflix originals.

I wish for a can of beans with a stay-tab on it so i can walk around drinking it like a can of soda

The can is cursed and beans start showing up everywhere in your life. As you drink more and more beans the beans start invading your life. Putting on shoes? Beans, a lot of them too. Sitting around in an office and... wait a sec, is it just me or was that clock full of beans? Walking down the sidewalk and a statue of beans resembling a human can be seen in the driver's seat of a passing car. You get home and your family is gone, just beans. You try to cry but beans flow down your cheeks in a mush. Oh God, the beans, all the beans, when will it end?

---

I wish I could consume calories from raw materials e.g. gasoline, wood, uranium etc.

/skip

[Sensorland]

Granted, now the only thing on Netflix is The Office(Until 2021) and shitty Netflix originals.

I wish for a can of beans with a stay-tab on it so i can walk around drinking it like a can of soda

The can is cursed and beans start showing up everywhere in your life. As you drink more and more beans the beans start invading your life. Putting on shoes? Beans, a lot of them too. Sitting around in an office and... wait a sec, is it just me or was that clock full of beans? Walking down the sidewalk and a statue of beans resembling a human can be seen in the driver's seat of a passing car. You get home and your family is gone, just beans. You try to cry but beans flow down your cheeks in a mush. Oh God, the beans, all the beans, when will it end?

---

I wish I could consume calories from raw materials e.g. gasoline, wood, uranium etc.

Granted. You can now gain calories from raw materials. The raw materials are still just as dangerous to consume.

I wish for the letter "h" to be removed from the English alphabet.

[The Wasatch]

The can is cursed and beans start showing up everywhere in your life. As you drink more and more beans the beans start invading your life. Putting on shoes? Beans, a lot of them too. Sitting around in an office and... wait a sec, is it just me or was that clock full of beans? Walking down the sidewalk and a statue of beans resembling a human can be seen in the driver's seat of a passing car. You get home and your family is gone, just beans. You try to cry but beans flow down your cheeks in a mush. Oh God, the beans, all the beans, when will it end?

---

I wish I could consume calories from raw materials e.g. gasoline, wood, uranium etc.

Granted. You can now gain calories from raw materials. The raw materials are still just as dangerous to consume.

I wish for the letter "h" to be removed from the English alphabet.

Granted. All letters except for c are removed from the English alphabet.

I wish all of my homework were immediately done.

[Pacomia]

Your homework is finished by a dyslexic Moroccan who never went past the fourth grade.

I wish for new underwear