Corrupt a Wish VIII

by **The African Emirates** » Wed Oct 30, 2019 7:08 am

Granted, now you can't eat without looking at the left earlobe of a man named Jonathan R. Geldman

I wish to be Jonathan R. Geldman

by **Window Land** » Wed Oct 30, 2019 9:02 am

Granted. Two B. Jonathan R. Geldman's coming right up!

I wish for some nontoxic food.

by **Uinted Communist of Africa** » Wed Oct 30, 2019 1:31 pm

Literally a plate of eggs.....spider eggs.

I wish for my nation to survive z day

by **Talchyon** » Wed Oct 30, 2019 4:58 pm

Uinted Communist of Africa wrote:Literally a plate of eggs.....spider eggs.

I wish for my nation to survive z day

Granted! But they don't survive the new NS event, ZZ Top day, when zombies that look like ZZ Top attack countries.

I wish ZZ Top was popular again.

by **Mongolian Hordes** » Wed Oct 30, 2019 5:56 pm

Granted. They become popular again, but this time because they formed a triple dictatorship in a newly-independent Texas, and led it into a brutal war against France in order to take all of their croissants.

I wish emus could fly.

by **Window Land** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 11:38 am

Granted. One flies into your window.

I wish for my physics packet to do itself.

by **Talchyon** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 12:01 pm

Window Land wrote:Granted. One flies into your window.

I wish for my physics packet to do itself.

Granted. It does itself, and it's still wrong.

I wish DC was as cool as Marvel.

by **Corporoat** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 3:21 pm

Granted. The temperature of Washington DC is now thermally regulated to be perfectly equal to the temperature of Marvel, Colorado.

I wish that there would be normal weather on Halloween.

by **Fatatatutti** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 3:25 pm

Granted. With global warming, normal weather is Martian weather.

I wish we had a colony on the moon.

by **Ausinia** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 10:00 pm

Granted, but they are constantly needy, and eventually die

by **Scientificum** » Thu Oct 31, 2019 10:48 pm

Granted. You wished for nothing, so this is a fate worse than death. Especially for me.

I wish the next poster actually wished for something.

by **Window Land** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:20 am

Granted.

I wish for the destruction of scientificum.

by **The African Emirates** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 3:22 pm

Granted, but before destruction, they find the resonance frequency of all parts of your computer and turn it into dust.

I wish that I would be able to turn on and off my pain sensation at will.

Last.fm · by **France Gall** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 5:37 pm

Granted. You can't keep on doing it however, otherwise your nervous system begins breaking and you eventually become numb.

I wish for a toothbrush.

by **Strahcoin** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:14 pm

France Gall wrote:I wish for a toothbrush.

Granted; it's a hand-me-down previously used to scrub nostrils and extract boogers.

I wish I had more motivation, energy, time, and inspiration to create more STRAH NEWS articles for my nation.

Flag credit · by **Khoronzon** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:30 pm

Granted, but the Political Correctness party also becomes real and occupies a fairly sizeable chunk of the US.

I wish I had a goat.

Last.fm · by **France Gall** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:39 pm

Granted. It keeps whining at you unless you shag it once a week.

I wish to be an austere religious scholar.

by **Fascist PRUESSENS** » Fri Nov 01, 2019 10:22 pm

Granted. But it is impossible for you to get a job

I wish for yellow ghost thing that protects me by punching and can stop time for 5 seconds.

by **Freed Animals** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:54 am

Granted, but his protection costs $10 Trillion per hour and you quickly find yourself bankrupt.

I wish England was my city.

by **Talchyon** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 3:45 am

Freed Animals wrote:Granted, but his protection costs $10 Trillion per hour and you quickly find yourself bankrupt.

I wish England was my city.

Granted. Because you have turned an entire country into a city (including the other parts of the U.K. which also tag along for the wish), everything is super congested, squished, and you have no personal space.

I wish it was cheaper to travel to Germany.

Last.fm · by **France Gall** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 4:39 am

Granted. Now you can legally travel to Germany with a wooden plane. Don't be surprised if you'll encounter dangerous experiences along the way.

I wish for amazing album recommendations. Check my Last.fm.

by **Pax Somaliana** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 8:02 am

Granted, but you go deaf before you can hear them.

I wish that robots wouldn’t take over the world.

by **Pilipinas and Malaya** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 8:08 am

Granted. China takes over instead.

I wish to eat cake.

Last.fm · by **France Gall** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 8:29 am

Granted. The cake contains all the toppings from the last comment on this thread.

I wish all the females in the world looked like derivatives of France Gall and Amanda Seyfried.

by **The African Emirates** » Sat Nov 02, 2019 4:45 pm

Granted. All females = d/dx = (France Gall and Amanda Seyfried)

I wish Hong Kong could be part of Serbia.

Corrupt a Wish VIII

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