Ram's Head Saloon [Mod-Sanctioned C/CLT, v4]

[Low bloods]

"So you wish to help gain access from suppliers that are hard to reach? I believe they already have this covered.
You see this world is a damned one, there's sources that reach into the multiverse that will pull a creature from one realm to another.

He then reaches into a shadow he had created on the counter to pull out a worm of sorts, it was the size of an average snake.

"Theese creatures, they burrow to any universe at ang time. And they crow to quite the large size." He pulls at the creatures mouth revealing a celestial array of colors.

"This is only a child, but its grown state Is key to this. There's a railroad station in the back. The operator is the one that gathers supplies but he has one of these rigged in a way he can travel anywhere he wants. We do have air carriers with jump drives as well. But I believe that there's places that they only chose to go to.
I have no clue about their mapping or schedules. The only reason I know is because I've protected the transports a few times."
He places the worm on the table and it burrowd into it, however not even a scratch was left.


"The Ram, that's the owner, but he hasn't been here in ages. I the only recollection I have of him wasn't a pretty one I'll tell you that.

"Ooh, a magic railroad. A magic, worm-based railroad no less. Yes, I wasn't exactly lamenting your lack of travel method. But there are places that cannot be conveniently reached, no matter one's method of transport - even if it encompasses the whole multiverse. We have a certain measure of experience... negotiating our way into such places."

She frowns.

"The Ram... I've only really heard vague rumors. I think a few of my peers might be better-informed on him. So I would need to negotiate with the operator of those... trains?"

Vixen tought for a bit and shrugs. "I'll be dead honest here. I'm so far out of the loop I wasnt even hired here, I just noticed the emptiness and started serving drinks. This place has quite the amount of its features are out of commission, such as the kitchen located behind the bar, the windows don't even open.

It's mainly due to the fact that it's a mix of technology and magic of sorts." He sighed as he spoke.
"Not all questions are ment to be answered as I have discovered. But if you want I can take you to the station. "

[Eisenstern]

Vixen tought for a bit and shrugs. "I'll be dead honest here. I'm so far out of the loop I wasnt even hired here, I just noticed the emptiness and started serving drinks. This place has quite the amount of its features are out of commission, such as the kitchen located behind the bar, the windows don't even open.

It's mainly due to the fact that it's a mix of technology and magic of sorts." He sighed as he spoke.
"Not all questions are ment to be answered as I have discovered. But if you want I can take you to the station. "

"Nah, I'll pass for now. It's nice to know the option is there though - we might send a delegate or two later on. As I said, I'm not actually here on business."

She shrugged.

"Problem is, when you're in the business of selling and buying anything and everything... it's hard not to bring your work with you."

[Low bloods]

Vixen tought for a bit and shrugs. "I'll be dead honest here. I'm so far out of the loop I wasnt even hired here, I just noticed the emptiness and started serving drinks. This place has quite the amount of its features are out of commission, such as the kitchen located behind the bar, the windows don't even open.

It's mainly due to the fact that it's a mix of technology and magic of sorts." He sighed as he spoke.
"Not all questions are ment to be answered as I have discovered. But if you want I can take you to the station. "

"Nah, I'll pass for now. It's nice to know the option is there though - we might send a delegate or two later on. As I said, I'm not actually here on business."

She shrugged.

"Problem is, when you're in the business of selling and buying anything and everything... it's hard not to bring your work with you."

"You're still in work mode I see. It can get fairly exhausting with such a mindset.

[Eisenstern]

"You're still in work mode I see. It can get fairly exhausting with such a mindset.

She shrugged once more.

"Work can be entertaining sometimes. Especially if it's something you enjoy - thankfully, I've managed to snag a position that lets me do just that. I suppose you have too - otherwise I see no reason for you to settle down here and serve drinks for the rest of your..."

She paused for a second.

"..life? Not really sure what to call it when your kind is involved. No offense."

[Low bloods]

"You're still in work mode I see. It can get fairly exhausting with such a mindset.

She shrugged once more.

"Work can be entertaining sometimes. Especially if it's something you enjoy - thankfully, I've managed to snag a position that lets me do just that. I suppose you have too - otherwise I see no reason for you to settle down here and serve drinks for the rest of your..."

She paused for a second.

"..life? Not really sure what to call it when your kind is involved. No offense."

"It's simply a past time." He nods "I have my reason but other than that, I really just kinda like the place.
."

[Eisenstern]

"It's simply a past time." He nods "I have my reason but other than that, I really just kinda like the place.
."

"I suppose it grows on you."

She slid her glass forwards.

"Same again?"

There was a faint melodic chime from within her cloak. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, and for a brief moment they seemed to quite literally spark. Reaching into the robe, she drew out something resembling a compass, of sorts - bulky, covered in tiny gears, dials and switches, it whirred incessantly. She twisted a few of them, pushed a button or two, and then put the object away again.

"Keep forgetting to set the goddamn contraption to "do not disturb". Some idiots think that they still have the full right to nag me when I'm on leave."

[Low bloods]

"It's simply a past time." He nods "I have my reason but other than that, I really just kinda like the place.
."

"I suppose it grows on you."

She slid her glass forwards.

"Same again?"

There was a faint melodic chime from within her cloak. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, and for a brief moment they seemed to quite literally spark. Reaching into the robe, she drew out something resembling a compass, of sorts - bulky, covered in tiny gears, dials and switches, it whirred incessantly. She twisted a few of them, pushed a button or two, and then put the object away again.

"Keep forgetting to set the goddamn contraption to "do not disturb". Some idiots think that they still have the full right to nag me when I'm on leave."

As he refills her drink he questions.
"So, what is the most vile places you have been, since you help establish trade with such places?"

He then preceded to tilt his head "Someone trying to call?"

[Eisenstern]

As he refills her drink he questions.
"So, what is the most vile places you have been, since you help establish trade with such places?"

He then preceded to tilt his head "Someone trying to call?"

"The most vile? Now there's some food for thought."

She swirled her drink around thoughtfully.

"What exactly do you mean by vile? As in, viscerally unpleasant? In appearance, habitability or..?"

She waved his second question away.

"Just some bureaucrat back at the Guild, deciding that it'd be a great idea to pester me with assignments during my leave."

[Silver Commonwealth]

Frumentarii Noah: "Meanwhile, the young frumentarii took out his wrist mini-computer, and kept scrolling through a certain folder's files, which seemed to be a some sort of album. First picture was him posing with a general's cap, and a toy revolver, when he was about 9, smiling in front of camera. ''Ohh, good old days''. Noah smiled. Then, a group photo of military school cadets appeared, all about 14-16 years old, all holding victory signs (V) with their fingers, in a front of a howitzer. Noah stood out as the tallest, and with the talisman made out of feather, and bullet rounds. Along with them, there was a smiling General of Army, as if he was proud of his students, and two guards in power armor. Next picture was the already mentioned General of Army giving Noah a diploma about his ''extraordinary results'', along with veteran legates. ''About damn time for the 17th birthday.'' Noah said with a triumph in his voice. Last picture was a picture of him posing with his new uniform, and anti-materiel rifle. ''Freedom is a small price for security.'' Noah mumbled. He still remembered what Slaine had told him about Illysia's war, and crime torn world.''

(OOC: Sorry for disappearing, Illysia. I just took a short hiatus, as I wanted to finish other worldbuilding ideas I had.)

[Planet Illysia]

Frumentarii Noah: "Meanwhile, the young frumentarii took out his wrist mini-computer, and kept scrolling through a certain folder's files, which seemed to be a some sort of album. First picture was him posing with a general's cap, and a toy revolver, when he was about 9, smiling in front of camera. ''Ohh, good old days''. Noah smiled. Then, a group photo of military school cadets appeared, all about 14-16 years old, all holding victory signs (V) with their fingers, in a front of a howitzer. Noah stood out as the tallest, and with the talisman made out of feather, and bullet rounds. Along with them, there was a smiling General of Army, as if he was proud of his students, and two guards in power armor. Next picture was the already mentioned General of Army giving Noah a diploma about his ''extraordinary results'', along with veteran legates. ''About damn time for the 17th birthday.'' Noah said with a triumph in his voice. Last picture was a picture of him posing with his new uniform, and anti-materiel rifle. ''Freedom is a small price for security.'' Noah mumbled. He still remembered what Slaine had told him about Illysia's war, and crime torn world.''

(OOC: Sorry for disappearing, Illysia. I just took a short hiatus, as I wanted to finish other worldbuilding ideas I had.)

//No problem at all. Don't worry about it.

If he remembered correctly, Slaine's world was one without either. Lacking freedom and lacking security, Illysia was simply a world of misery. The woman who gave him a glimpse into the planet's harsh day-to-day life was sitting by herself at the bar, sipping on a mug of tea in a manner that would suggest education in etiquette. Today, that leather-jacket wearing kraut thug that she called a partner-in-crime wasn't with her. Slaine offered Noah a brief glance, content whether or not he decided he wanted to talk to her again.

Though she couldn't help but wonder what his attachment to her was. The cynic inside her wondered when he was going to ask to grope her or for some cheap favor to guilt her into doing, but the angel of her conscience didn't exactly think a young boy could be up to anything. To her, Noah was rather naive, and she didn't think of him as a real threat. He was an alright kid and liked her magic. Could he possibly, actually just like her as a person? That was not a concept the pinkette was experienced with.

[Silver Commonwealth]

If he remembered correctly, Slaine's world was one without either. Lacking freedom and lacking security, Illysia was simply a world of misery. The woman who gave him a glimpse into the planet's harsh day-to-day life was sitting by herself at the bar, sipping on a mug of tea in a manner that would suggest education in etiquette. Today, that leather-jacket wearing kraut thug that she called a partner-in-crime wasn't with her. Slaine offered Noah a brief glance, content whether or not he decided he wanted to talk to her again.

Though she couldn't help but wonder what his attachment to her was. The cynic inside her wondered when he was going to ask to grope her or for some cheap favor to guilt her into doing, but the angel of her conscience didn't exactly think a young boy could be up to anything. To her, Noah was rather naive, and she didn't think of him as a real threat. He was an alright kid and liked her magic. Could he possibly, actually just like her as a person? That was not a concept the pinkette was experienced with.

Frumentarii Noah: "Oh, hi once again, Slaine.'' Noah said, as he noticed her glance. ''Uh, so I am going to turn 17 pretty soon. One year closer to the responsibilities, and burdens of a SC's adult, heh.'' Noah chuckled. ''Honestly, you are my first friend outside of SC. No, I am not kidding.'' Noah said, as if he had sensed Slaine's confusion about his attachment to her. ''I thought, that I would never meet any friends outside from Rockies, but after finding a some map with Saloon marked as ''X'' on it, and walking through Arizona's deserts, I finally have a better insight on how others live. You know, there is a legend about Sierra Madre's treasure back in the home. As for me, the Sierra Madre is Ram's Saloon itself - treasure not in terms of gold, but experiences.'' Noah then also noticed, that this time, Franz wasn't there. ''Ugh, so where Franz went?'' Noah asked Slaine.''

[Planet Illysia]

Frumentarii Noah: "Oh, hi once again, Slaine.'' Noah said, as he noticed her glance. ''Uh, so I am going to turn 17 pretty soon. One year closer to the responsibilities, and burdens of a SC's adult, heh.'' Noah chuckled. ''Honestly, you are my first friend outside of SC. No, I am not kidding.'' Noah said, as if he had sensed Slaine's confusion about his attachment to her. ''I thought, that I would never meet any friends outside from Rockies, but after finding a some map with Saloon marked as ''X'' on it, and walking through Arizona's deserts, I finally have a better insight on how others live. You know, there is a legend about Sierra Madre's treasure back in the home. As for me, the Sierra Madre is Ram's Saloon itself - treasure not in terms of gold, but experiences.'' Noah then also noticed, that this time, Franz wasn't there. ''Ugh, so where Franz went?'' Noah asked Slaine.''

"You really consider me a friend?" Slaine repeated. "Well, suit yourself, and happy early birthday I guess." She crossed her legs. "I don't think I'd be good at birthday entertainment anymore. Maybe a decade ago I could've."

"This place is alright, but I think that's stretching it. Franz is off on a mission, by the way. He's going to go level some buildings or something." She took a sip of her tea, staring back with a flat expression.

[Ascended Stalin]

The doors swung open, and in stepped... a man? His face was rather memorable - a stern, fatherly visage, beset by a thick mustache. His hair was intricately groomed. In his mouth, he held a pipe. There was no mistaking Stalin. He made his way to the bar, and sat down.

"A pint of vodka, please. And yes, I mean a whole pint."

[Foxfound]

The doors swung open, and in stepped... a man? His face was rather memorable - a stern, fatherly visage, beset by a thick mustache. His hair was intricately groomed. In his mouth, he held a pipe. There was no mistaking Stalin. He made his way to the bar, and sat down.

"A pint of vodka, please. And yes, I mean a whole pint."

A funny-looking girl with a balalaika entered the door with a fierce look on her face.

"Stalin! I have hunted you for too long! Your Bolshevik army laid waste to Nestor Makhno's anarchist dream, and Mother Anarchy has not forgotten! It is time for you to face the music!"

The strange little girl didn't look like she had been 'hunting' Stalin for very long. In fact, Stalin would get a sneaking suspicion that this child hadn't been at this for more than five minutes.

[Ascended Stalin]

The doors swung open, and in stepped... a man? His face was rather memorable - a stern, fatherly visage, beset by a thick mustache. His hair was intricately groomed. In his mouth, he held a pipe. There was no mistaking Stalin. He made his way to the bar, and sat down.

"A pint of vodka, please. And yes, I mean a whole pint."

A funny-looking girl with a balalaika entered the door with a fierce look on her face.

"Stalin! I have hunted you for too long! Your Bolshevik army laid waste to Nestor Makhno's anarchist dream, and Mother Anarchy has not forgotten! It is time for you to face the music!"

The strange little girl didn't look like she had been 'hunting' Stalin for very long. In fact, Stalin would get a sneaking suspicion that this child hadn't been at this for more than five minutes.

Stalin turned with a bemused expression, and chewed on his pipe for a few seconds.

"Do I know you? I have to admit, people haven't tried "hunting" me, as you say, in a while. I might have left a few alive, by sheer accident."

He took the pipe out of his mouth, and packed it with tobacco from a pouch in his belt. Applying a finger to the hole, he produced a small flame to ignite it.

"So you plan on fighting me with a balalaika? Wonderful instrument, not so wonderful weapon. In my experience, at least."

[Foxfound]

A funny-looking girl with a balalaika entered the door with a fierce look on her face.

"Stalin! I have hunted you for too long! Your Bolshevik army laid waste to Nestor Makhno's anarchist dream, and Mother Anarchy has not forgotten! It is time for you to face the music!"

The strange little girl didn't look like she had been 'hunting' Stalin for very long. In fact, Stalin would get a sneaking suspicion that this child hadn't been at this for more than five minutes.

Stalin turned with a bemused expression, and chewed on his pipe for a few seconds.

"Do I know you? I have to admit, people haven't tried "hunting" me, as you say, in a while. I might have left a few alive, by sheer accident."

He took the pipe out of his mouth, and packed it with tobacco from a pouch in his belt. Applying a finger to the hole, he produced a small flame to ignite it.

"So you plan on fighting me with a balalaika? Wonderful instrument, not so wonderful weapon. In my experience, at least."

"Hmph. It hasn't broken yet... but fine, whatever. I was just bored."

She leaned back in a chair and put her feet on a table.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were just a cosplayer, but you look too much like the genuine article. Aren't you supposed to have died in the 1950s or something?"

She didn't really seem that intimidated, even by the whole fire thing, but maybe she was just that oblivious.

[Ascended Stalin]

"Hmph. It hasn't broken yet... but fine, whatever. I was just bored."

She leaned back in a chair and put her feet on a table.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were just a cosplayer, but you look too much like the genuine article. Aren't you supposed to have died in the 1950s or something?"

She didn't really seem that intimidated, even by the whole fire thing, but maybe she was just that oblivious.

"Died?"

He laughed.

"Death would be a luxury at this point. No, alas I am still alive. In some sense, at least. And will probably remain like that, forever more."

[Foxfound]

"Hmph. It hasn't broken yet... but fine, whatever. I was just bored."

She leaned back in a chair and put her feet on a table.

"What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were just a cosplayer, but you look too much like the genuine article. Aren't you supposed to have died in the 1950s or something?"

She didn't really seem that intimidated, even by the whole fire thing, but maybe she was just that oblivious.

"Died?"

He laughed.

"Death would be a luxury at this point. No, alas I am still alive. In some sense, at least. And will probably remain like that, forever more."

She shrugged. "Well, the one in our history books died a long time ago, but the multiverse is far from consistent."

She looked him in the eye a moment. "You do not seem happy."

[Ascended Stalin]

She shrugged. "Well, the one in our history books died a long time ago, but the multiverse is far from consistent."

She looked him in the eye a moment. "You do not seem happy."

He looked back, and in the depths of his eyes one could see nothing but emptiness.

"You're a perceptive one. I don't think I even know what happiness feels like at this point. In some ways like the sensation of having a sated appetite - something I can never quite reach."

He inhaled from the pipe.

"Eh, what does it matter. Tell me-"

He pointed to her instrument.

"How well can you play it? And by play, I don't mean "hit people over the head"."

[Foxfound]

She shrugged. "Well, the one in our history books died a long time ago, but the multiverse is far from consistent."

She looked him in the eye a moment. "You do not seem happy."

He looked back, and in the depths of his eyes one could see nothing but emptiness.

"You're a perceptive one. I don't think I even know what happiness feels like at this point. In some ways like the sensation of having a sated appetite - something I can never quite reach."

He inhaled from the pipe.

"Eh, what does it matter. Tell me-"

He pointed to her instrument.

"How well can you play it? And by play, I don't mean "hit people over the head"."

She hesitated a moment.

"Well... I'm definitely not an expert at it, but I think I'm sort of alright."

She played the first short part of Korobeiniki. It was... actually not that bad.

[Ascended Stalin]

She hesitated a moment.

"Well... I'm definitely not an expert at it, but I think I'm sort of alright."

She played the first short part of Korobeiniki. It was... actually not that bad.

He bobbed his head in tune with the music.

"Not half bad. And you know some alright tunes too. This really does bring back memories..."

[Low bloods]

As he refills her drink he questions.
"So, what is the most vile places you have been, since you help establish trade with such places?"

He then preceded to tilt his head "Someone trying to call?"

"The most vile? Now there's some food for thought."

She swirled her drink around thoughtfully.

"What exactly do you mean by vile? As in, viscerally unpleasant? In appearance, habitability or..?"

She waved his second question away.

"Just some bureaucrat back at the Guild, deciding that it'd be a great idea to pester me with assignments during my leave."

"I guessthe worst of the picking, the experience you least enjoyed just overall."

The doors swung open, and in stepped... a man? His face was rather memorable - a stern, fatherly visage, beset by a thick mustache. His hair was intricately groomed. In his mouth, he held a pipe. There was no mistaking Stalin. He made his way to the bar, and sat down.

"A pint of vodka, please. And yes, I mean a whole pint."

"We dont hold back sir. No need to think I even doubt you. My friend." Vixen said as he serves the mans order.

[Ascended Stalin]

"We dont hold back sir. No need to think I even doubt you. My friend." Vixen said as he serves the mans order.

"Thank you."

Stalin paused for a moment. Then opened his mouth. And continued opening it, far wider than what a normal human jaw would allow. Inside was nothing but a black void. There was a strange rushing sound, and the vodka seemed to levitate out of the glass, making its way into Stalin's mouth as a continuous stream. When it was all gone, he closed his mouth again.

[Nazi-PewDiePied Sweden]

Just when everyone in the saloon thought nothing could get even more wrong, Führer of Nazi-Pewdiepied Sweden, Felix Kjellberg, and his two cronies, Sturmbannführer JonTron and Joey Salads, both in Nazi attire, walk in.

“OH MY GOD, A COMMULIST!” screamed the Sturmbannführer as he points at Joseph Stalin for his Führer and the pillock.

“Great, now I can walk up to him with my MAGA cap and my Nazi armband and see how he reacts. Remember guys: this is all a social experiment.” said Salads, doing exactly what he is about to do.

[Foxfound]

He bobbed his head in tune with the music.

"Not half bad. And you know some alright tunes too. This really does bring back memories..."

"If you don't mind me asking... how did you end up like this?"

Just when everyone in the saloon thought nothing could get even more wrong, Führer of Nazi-Pewdiepied Sweden, Felix Kjellberg, and his two cronies, Sturmbannführer JonTron and Joey Salads, both in Nazi attire, walk in.

“OH MY GOD, A COMMULIST!” screamed the Sturmbannführer as he points at Joseph Stalin for his Führer and the pillock.

“Great, now I can walk up to him with my MAGA cap and my Nazi armband and see how he reacts. Remember guys: this is all a social experiment.” said Salads, doing exactly what he is about to do.

Z considered confronting these people, but in the end her poor innocent mind couldn't comprehend this weirdness and she slumped into a chair, unresponsive.