CHANGE THE CHANNEL

by **The United Avalon Systems** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:51 am

Seythennia wrote:"Bazinga!"
uproarious laughter from audience

*changes channel*

"Do you have a problem with dialling your gate? If so what you need is the-"

*changes channel*

by **Astoriya** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 12:54 am

The United Avalon Systems wrote:
Seythennia wrote:"Bazinga!"
uproarious laughter from audience

*changes channel*

"Do you have a problem with dialling your gate? If so what you need is the-"

*changes channel*

"They're not here! We've been tricked..."

*changes channel*

by **United States of Americanas** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:22 am

THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM AS ORDERED BY GOVERNMENTAL AUTHORITIES. THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. *BEEP BEEP BOOOOOP SCREECH*

*mutes TV*

Welcome back to the 10:00 News. In today’s headlines we are reporting on another 737 Max crash and various political garbage.

*changes channel*

For once, the news was truthful about politics!

by **Fatatatutti** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 9:27 am

*static*

*climbs on roof*

"kicks satellite dish*

*climbs down*

"... Alphonse and Fish..."

*scratches head*

by **Greater Yukon Lands** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 11:36 am

"Alphonse has gone fishing..."

*changes channel*

by **The United Avalon Systems** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:27 pm

Greater Yukon Lands wrote:"Alphonse has gone fishing..."

*changes channel*

"Hello and welcome-"

*changes channel*

"An emergency broadcast will begin in-"

*changes channel*

by **Depackya** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:30 pm

"...Your next stop: The Midnight Zone."

*Changes channel*

by **The Federation of Spokane** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:33 pm

“Try out our new timeout method,perfect for spoiled brats...”
*changes channel*

by **Sefy the Great** » Mon Mar 11, 2019 8:36 pm

"Selling Babies is a Crime-"
*changes channel*

by **Samudera Darussalam** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:18 am

"Selling babies is now decriminalized...."

*Changes channel*

by **Astoriya** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:24 am

"Babies are not just items, you know..."

*changes channel*

by **Greater Yukon Lands** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 3:04 am

"Babies have no souls, and you can't prove me wrong."

*changes channel*

by **TURTLESHROOM II** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 11:08 am

"I'VE SOILED THE GOOD NAME OF THE KRUSTY KRAB! SOILED IT, SOILED IT, SOILED IT, SOILED IT, SOILED IT, SOILED IT, SOILED IT, SOI-"

* changes channel *

by **Great Mojave** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 11:11 am

"....dozens of hot broads! Thin broads! Broad broads! Italian Broads! Call us at 1-069-BROADS, and tell 'em Wide Tony sent 'ya..."

*changes channel with haste*

by **Fatatatutti** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 11:25 am

"... dynamite truck...."

*changes channel*

"... nine Lufthansa stewardesses...."

*changes channel*

"I doan thin so, Queeksdraw."

*changes channel*

"I'll do the thinnin' around here, Baba Fishie, and do-o-on't you fergit it."

*changes channel*

*wait a minute - Baba Fishie?*

by **Boring People** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 2:38 pm

“Baba Fishie’s Big Adventure will be back momentarily.”

*changes channel*

by **Sefy the Great** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 5:35 pm

*checks guide*
ah, on page 98 show "Political Comedy with NS" will be on.
*sets reminder, Changes Channel.

by **Narland** » Tue Mar 12, 2019 7:11 pm

...
[Tight shot of Joe with Off-camera voice]
Unidentified Actor: Hahahaha, that's right, Joe. Thanks to Calmanox, I no longer have NJOC!

[Zoom out to room full middle-age men laughing jovially]
Men: Hahahahahahahahaha.

[Pan camera to Joe who looks wistful as scene changes to Joe walking hand in hand along a sunset beach with a beautiful woman while narrator gives disclaimer}
Narrator: Ask your doctor about Calmanox (r)(c)tm for Nervous Jitters brought about by Over-Caffeination otherwise known as NJOC and ask if Calmanox is right for you. Calmanox is the only medicine made specifically for NJOC. Brain damage may occur.

Some side effects of Calmanox include permanent ischemic hypoxia, bacillary dysentery caused by shigellosis, unexpected heart and/or renal failure, psychoactive manic depression, slurred speech, blurry vision, and sudden death. Once prescribed Calmanox, do not stop taking Calmanox for any reason. Contact your healthcare provider (or next of kin) immediately if megalomaniacal homicidal thoughts occur, or if other side effects persist.

{Scene of early morning sky with the words "Healing NJOC with Calmanox(r)(c)tm by Pharmamax" in gold lettering]
Narrator: This 2 hr infomercial is brought to you by Pharmamax International, stay tuned for the remaining hour as Pharmamax continues to put the Max in Big Pharma...

changes channel .... click

by **United States of Americanas** » Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:19 pm

I’d rather tear out my brain stem go to the nearest four way intersection and skip rope with it than live here!

*changes channel*

by **Trinadaed** » Wed Mar 13, 2019 2:25 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pL5STXqyBK4

0:22 - changes channel, frightened

by **Astoriya** » Wed Mar 13, 2019 11:54 pm

"10.36pm... 4:19am... 7.16.."

*changes channel*

by **Fatatatutti** » Thu Mar 14, 2019 9:43 am

"... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00...."

*resets VCR*

by **United States of Americanas** » Sat Mar 16, 2019 7:09 pm

Fatatatutti wrote:"... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00... 12:00...."

*resets VCR*

We still have a VCR? *sells VCR on eBay for 20 bucks and goes to the store and buys a SmartDVD&VCR combo player with automatic time sync*

Now we will never have to worry about the clock blinking 12 for hours and days on end as we ignore it.

*puts in a random unlabeled tape*

Welcome to the Nuclear Safety Technician training on video series. Today in this video we will be reviewing the basic operation of a TX7000 Nuclear Reactor Control desk.

*ejects tape*

I gotta stop buying weird unlabeled tapes at garage sales. This thing must belong to a power plant. I wonder which one, I’m sure they probably would want it back or at least destroyed.

by **Greater Yukon Lands** » Sun Mar 17, 2019 8:53 pm

"Tonight on 'Political Comedy with NS,' we will be hosting five of the greatest comedians to have ever come out of..."

*changes channel*

by **Astoriya** » Mon Mar 18, 2019 1:15 am

"...after working 279 hours in the ice...'

*changes channel*

CHANGE THE CHANNEL

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