CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[Boring People]

"This is what it sounds like when doves cry..."
*purrs like a cat*


*changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Tonight, Alphonse tries to get out of jury duty. Fish seduces seven of Alphonse's nine Lufthansa stewardess girlfriends...."

*changes channel*

"Lufthansa. There's no better way to fly."

*changes channel*

[Hardholm]

"A senior administration official in the administration spoke anonymously with our reporters about the alleged-"

*changes channel*

"-And that's why the lamestream, drive-by media is doing this! Because they know that you know that they-"

*changes channel*

[Northern Jackaia]

Ur W@tChInG Di$N3Y ChaNnEl
*changes channel*

[United States of Americanas]

Trump: Tim Apple

*Throws remote at television*

[Flarbinia]

The Communist Channel

*Immediately changes channel*

[Christian Confederation]

We now return to Andi Mack on the Disney channel.
(Teen boys making out)
Shoots TV with shot gun.

[United States of Americanas]

*goes to the warehouse of government TV sets and grabs another TV*

*sigh* we’re definitely going through a lot of TV’s lately.

*turns on TV*

WELCOME TO ANDROID SMART TV. TO BEGIN SETTING UP YOUR TELEVISION PLEASE SAY “Begin Setup” or use the remote to select Continue. To complete this at another time and watch television with SmartTV features turned off select Cancel. *selects cancel*

*BLARING FOGHORN*

WELCOME TO THE FISHING CHANNEL. TODAY WE ARE CATCHING WILD KING CRABS OFF THE COAST OF ALASKA.

*turns down volume and changes channel*

[Nevv Vegas]

An IGN reviewer is giving his take on Fallout 3.

"Fallout 3 is good." is so loud because that sentence is beyond impossible to utter so the TV morphs into a copy of a better game, Fallout: Brotherhood Of Steel.

[Fatatatutti]

"Rumours of man-eating crabs on Fatatatutti's beaches have been exaggerated. Unless you're a very heavy sleeper, the first few bites will wake you right up...."

*changes channel*

"... famous author of crime novels, Arthur 'Cannon' Ball, will be signing autographs at the Waterfront Mall on Saturday from two until four...."

*changes channel*

"... stately Fishington Manor is the scene of...."

*changes channel*

[Flarbinia]

"Last time on Jurassic Park: The Beginning..."

*Changes channel*

"The JFK Corgi has been assassinated. Most likely suspect is..."

*Changes channel*

"It is now day six of the Iceland Civil War..."

*Changes channel*

[Rosland and Fro Vhela]

"Fun fact: Did you know that a full seven percent of the entire Irish barley crop goes to the production of Guinness beer?"

*changes channel*

[Mimi Mimikins]

"Consume everything and destroy all worlds, as told in the prophecy!"
*Changes Channel*

[Brittany Normandy Aquitaine]

-tv static-

-changes channel-

-tv static-

-changes channel-

[Boring People]

*10 seconds of static*
*room appears on screen*
*man walks in with hatchet*
*man sets hatchet on table and walks out of room*
*static returns*

*changes channel*

[United States of Americanas]

-tv static-

-changes channel-

-tv static-

-changes channel-

*goes behind TV*

Dammit! No wonder we had no signal, someone unplugged the cable box.

*plugs in cable box*

THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING TELENET FOR YOUR TELEVISION SERVICES UNFORTUNATELY YOUR ACCOUNT HAS BEEN SUSPENDED FOR NON PAYMENT

PLEASE CALL 1-800-PAY-NOWW OR ELSE YOUR TV STAYS OFF FOREVERRRRRRR!

*sigh* wow that is one rude cable box.

*Pays bill online using government expenditure card*

YOUR SERVICE SHOULD RETURN TO NORMAL WITHIN FIVE MINUTES. YOUR PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECEIVED. CODE 300-57

*five minutes later*

Tonight on Cooking with Gray we will be making an exquisite salmon dish. Don’t miss it after these commercials

*Overly loud commercials*

WHY ARE THE COMMERCIALS SO LOUD. ARGH!!!

*Turns down volume*

And we return to Cooking with Gray. Tonight I will be demonstrating the proper way to make Salmon Ceviche using red wine as our primary marinade.

Mmmm fish, *goes to fridge to find no fish*

*turns off TV and goes to the grocery store*

[Nooooooooooooooo]

*gets back from grocery store and turns on TV*

"And then, it dawns on me. Oh. She's running from me."

*Changes Channel*

[Palins]

"This is the world's most northerly hippie commune. Founded in 1973, it still has eight of its founders living on it, and..."

*changes channel*

[Samudera Darussalam]

"....Senpai, please notice me-"

*Changes channel*

[United States of Americanas]

Are you bored of life? Looking to try something new? Looking to get paid for trying new things? Scientific cosmetics trials are now available in your area. Call 1-800-COS-STDY to join a cosmetic study. Current programs include deodorant scent testing, shampoo cleansing analysis, and for ladies or willing men lipstick color acceptance analysis along with perfume scent testing. None of these studies are safety studies, these are market viability studies therefore you have no risk. So why wait? CALL NOW and get paid up to $400 a week for one hour time a day!

*changes channel and goes on their website to further evaluate the idea of doing some market research study work*

[Boring People]

"You are now watching Music Video Television. We'll be right back after this ad break!"

*changes channel*

[New Eneland]

Gucci gang gucci gang guc..

*changes channel*

[East Gondwana]

"Et douze points pour la Suede!"

changes channel

[Boring People]

"Gucci?"
"Gucci!"
"Gucci?"
"Gucci!"
"Gucci?"
"Gucci!"
"Gucci?"
"Gucci!"

*changes channel*

[Seythennia]

"Bazinga!"
uproarious laughter from audience

*changes channel*