CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[The Arbys Cult]

"—stuff your face with. We have quesadillas, tacos, chimichangas, enchiladas, all the rice you can eat, and so much more! So why not—"

*Changes channel*

[Deblar]

"I've come to make an announcement. Shadow the Hedgehog's a-"

*changes channel*

[Lotaijuunn]

"Top 10 Worst Hurricanes in the Mid Atlantic-"

*Changes Channel*

[B o r o v a n]

"Campus at night. God it's been a while since I took a class after 6. Everything is like so dark. And lonely. Wait why am I talking to myself?"
Ok that's better. I'm go see if there's food. Oh wait everything is closed. Damn you second rate university!

*changes channel*

[Redfell]

"Campus at night. God it's been a while since I took a class after 6. Everything is like so dark. And lonely. Wait why am I talking to myself?"
Ok that's better. I'm go see if there's food. Oh wait everything is closed. Damn you second rate university!

*changes channel*

"I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, and we're co--"

*CHANGES CHANNEL*

[Fatatatutti]

"This has been an Alphonse and Fish presentation...."

*changes channel*

[Imperial Britannia]

"...this dunk tank..."

*changes channel*

[Nomayuki]

"I have made a presentation on why the Backyardigans is communist propagan--"

*changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse is a pretty good surfer. His big flat feet make him very stable on the board. Of course he can't hang ten because he only has eight and two of them are in the back. He can hang six...."

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

It's a hilarious slapstick routine, but unfortunately, no amount of text description would do it justice.

*Changes channel*

[95X]

At 11:59 PM on October 31st, going into November 1st.

"This NationStates Z-Day—"

*changes channel*

(The ending of Michael Jackson's Thriller is playing on the radio station used as filler on a community access bulletin-board channel, the kind that currently says 'no scheduled community events' on a Powerpoint slide 24/7. As soon as the laugh that ends the song ends, jingling bells start playing.)

A jingle sings, "Happy Holidays from Q Ninety-Three-Point-One!"

Followed by a pre-recorded announcer; "from the Geo Dealership Network Studios, it's the Sounds of the Season on K-Q-Nine-Three-F-M, Localton, a Folks-Who-Know-in-San-Antonio station!"

Song begins, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you—"

*changes channel, makes sure not to tune in again until at least December 25th…*

[Khantashonia]

"Super ido-"

*changes channel violently*

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse checks his email. Fish renews his bus pass online. Alphonse sends an email. Fish posts a selfie. Alphonse sticks his head into Fish's bowl and tells him to check his email. Fish giggles at the cat video."

*changes channel*

*Alphonse sticks his head through the fourth wall and tells the audience to check their email. He has sent the cat video to the entire Internet.*

"Alphonse's Internet provider suspends his account for spamming. Alphonse sues the Internet. Alphonse's lawyer warns him that the suit has little chance of success. Alphonse fires his lawyer. Fish gives Alphonse a law book. Alphonse stands on it be he still isn't very tall."

*changes channel*

[95X]

"Nearly two years is not an 'emergency'!"

*changes channel*

"This fall, we ask the question, 'is Portland over?'"

*says "yes", changes channel*

"Today" logo on the screen with no sound.

*changes channel*

[Redfell]

"Nearly two years is not an 'emergency'!"

*changes channel*

"This fall, we ask the question, 'is Portland over?'"

*says "yes", changes channel*

"Today" logo on the screen with no sound.

*changes channel*

"We're having fun in Balloonland--"

*CHANGES CHANNEL*

[Diarcesia]

"Nearly two years is not an 'emergency'!"

*changes channel*

"This fall, we ask the question, 'is Portland over?'"

*says "yes", changes channel*

"Today" logo on the screen with no sound.

*changes channel*

"We're having fun in Balloonland--"

*CHANGES CHANNEL*

"Let's see... you killed Ender Dragon for me, and I still don't like it."

*CHANGES CHANNEL*

[95X]

Shopping channel. Some sound and picture are seen of a woman selling something in the delay between the time it takes while changing the channel.

"—these are not glass, these are stone—"

*changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse fixes the toaster. The bad news is that it no longer makes toast. The good news is that it's now a Godzilla detector. The even better news is that Godzilla is nowhere in the vicinity. Fish asks if he's sure the Godzilla detector is working. Alphonse locks himself in the Godzilla bunker. Fish was unaware that they had a Godzilla bunker. He promptly forgets the whole incident."

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

"18 refugees were brutally beheaded today—"

*Changes channel*

"—in front of a live studio audience! Alright, who wants to go next?"

*Changes channel*

[Cheries]

"... as billionare Bob Bobson drives his new $500,000 golden car onstage! But, meanwhile, Macy ..."
*changes channel*
"... they're stuffing themselves with uncooked hotdogs! This festival has been ..."
*changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

Fish's cousin Irving comes to stay for the Christmas holidays. Alphonse sees their two bowls side-by-side on the table and thinks he's seeing double.

*changes channel*

[Cheries]

"... Bob, if you eat this ..."
*changes channel*
"... ancient Egyptian king Seti II was the nineteenth ..."
*changes channel*

[Never was New England]

"Hey there BIG BOY...."
*changes channel*

[Polomon Islands]

"Nae Ni-

*CHANGES CHANNEL*

[Hemakral]

"Oh, god, he's- he's eating them raw! Ladies and gentleman, this is a first for-"
*changes channel*