CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[Wrengoh]

"Yes, Manufacturing is dead in my country now, thanks to the green monkeys in the Legislature and of course 'Job Killer' Drei-Gai, if I could put my hands on him.. give me back my working hours, you son of a -"... (Cnuih snatches the remote off State Leader's hands)

*changes channel*

[Constitutional Liberistan]

“…why we must ban these fully semi-automatic weapons from civilian use. They serve no purpose in a civilized society and I find the excuse of ‘target shooting’ to be nothing more than…”

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

A supervillain is testing his new mind control device on two of his grunts.

Villain: "You will now obey my every command."

Grunts: "We obey."

Villain: "Perfect. Now, I want you two to act like you're not mind-controlled. I don't want anyone to know yet."

Grunt 1: "WE ARE NOT MIND-CONTROLLED! WE ARE NOT MIND-CONTROLLED! WE ARE NOT MIND-CONTROLLED!..."
Grunt 2: "Our master has requested that we do not disclose the fact that we are under his control."

Villain: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Do you think I'm dumber than a bag of rocks or something?"

Grunt 1: "Only if you want us to."

Villain: (Under his breath) "You really do, don't you?"

Grunt 1: "You are dumber than a bag of rocks."
Grunt 2: "Why are you so stupid?"

Villain: "AAAAAAA—"

*Changes channel*

[American Socialist Republicans]

A doctor in china has disovered the cure for ca-
*changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse puts a bag of rocks beside Fish's bowl. Fish blinks at it."

*changes channel*

[Constitutional Liberistan]

“El Coca Cola de México! Es muy barato y refrescante! Si señor, es muy sabroso!”

*Changes Channel*

[Arpasia]

"WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE ONE DA-"

cronge

*Cnahges channel*

[Vadterland]

"PRAISE, HONOR, AND ABUNDANCE UNTO THE CUBE! SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF THE CUBE! EXTRICATE THINE OWN HEART IN OFFERING TO THE CUBE, AND OUTPOUR THINE BLOOD IN GRATITUDE! DELIVER UNTO IT YOUR BLOOD AND THAT OF ALL INFID-"

I hate religious programming.

*Changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

Whaddaya know? It's more religious programming.

"Sometimes I am asked, 'who is Arby? What makes our divine restaurant belong to him? Is Arby a god?' Those are all good questions. Verily I say unto thee, we are all Arby. The sandwiches that were delivered unto us by the Sandwich Gods were given to bring us together as one. Therefore, that which is Arby's is ours, and thus, we are Arby. Now, let us partake in the jalapeño poppers for just $.99 at participating locati—"

*Changes channel*

[San Lumen]

"Coming up next on the leather, pvc and nylon channel. Young men creaking their leathers while in a cozy log cabin. Enjoy."

*changes channel

[B o r o v a n]

"Professor what are you up to? Why are carrying a hoopla hoop?"
"This isn't a hoop. This is a portal simulater. Enter this portal and you can go anywhere."
"Where's you time machine rocket?"
"That...thing er..."
"Please don't tell me it broke."
"Ok we just need a few more thing to complete this portal creater. But I can't figure out what. Oh nevermind got it."
Bruuuuu!! The hula hoop emitted a purple light.
"Now who wants to go first?"
"I do!"
"Where do you want to go?"
Steps.
"James Ryan Halloway. What are you doing?"
"Ms. Gregfield."
"So this is what the college has been doing? Funding your stupid invention schemes? I've asked the college to support the arts after all the cuts we had and now our department is in dire shape."
"For your information," the professor jabbed at her chest, "None of the funding is from the college. It's from a grant from private investor Luanne Wellway. So we're free to spend it in our physics department."
"Money that could be better spent for real important stuff!"
"I'm building a portal!"
"Ha! This thing doesn't even work! What's this? A hula hoop? That emits lights for kids!"
"Professor Gregfield, I don't think you should..."
Bleeeeeuuuu!!!

"Uh...what happened to Professor Gregfield?"

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

"Linda, be a doll and grab me anoth—huh?"

In the spot where Linda was standing a second ago is now a doll that looks exactly like her.

*Changes channel*

[Arpasia]

Coca cola espuma!

*Changes channel 1 milisecold before the can goes boom boom*

[Allinburg]

channel 195.2, Fox affiliate

*sends dish back to kitchen*
"HEY!!"
"yes chef."
"YOU THERE! TOUCH IT! TOUCH IT!! TOUCH IT!!! IT'S F*CKING RAW!!!!!"

*changes channel as gordon smashes the meat with his bare hands*

[Wiolgopomorska]

Never gonna~

change channel

[Fatatatutti]

World War One flying ace Alphonse flies over Fish's bowl, feeling sorry for the poor blighters in the trenches below. Fish changes his wifi password.

*changes channel*

[Allinburg]

channel 48.59 - Totally Isn't Legitimately the History Channel

---

During the Battle of the Bulge in 1944-45, several terrible massacres occurred. The worst was that committed by SS Panzer troops and has come to be known as the Malmedy massacre.

But there was a little-known revenge killing perpetrated by American troops. It was the subject of a cover-up and for which no punishments were ever applied. That atrocity was called...

*continues watching until programme ends*

*changes channel*

[B o r o v a n]

This fall.
"Welcome to Aswerunia."
"Every alien species ever is here in this planet hoping to coexist."
Is an all new space adventure.
"Godfrey, you're chosen as guard."
"But I don't want to be a guard! I want to use my brains like an tax preparer. I don't have muscle!"
"Too bad!"
"Your mission is to protect the royal family of Deruna."
Black Screen.
"I hope you are prepared."
"Hehehe. I can't wait to unleash hell on this galaxy," a hoarse voice said inside a chest.
"There's a darkness around here. It is strong."
"You have the wrong alien. I'm quitting as guard."
"You can't quit."
"Does this look like I'm qualified?!"
"Every alien is panicking. There is a creature that escaped, thought to be extinct. Don't let him get to the royal family or all is lost."
"Muahahaha!!!"
"Only not much time until he destroys the ship!"
Coming soon!

*changes channel*

[Tolopel]

There's never ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like
Veggie Tales!
There's never ever, ever, ever, ever been a show like
Veggie Tales!
It's time for Veggie Ta-

*changes channel*

[Enzonar]

Baby, baby, baby oo-

####

*Changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse announced today that he is retiring from politics to devote more time to being fat and lazy. When he was remided that he already lost the last Presidential election, he quacked and waddled off in all directions."

*changes channel*

"Meanwhile, President Fish continued his obsessive search for the missing strawberries."

*changes channel*

"Film at eleven."

*changes channel*

[95X]

"Magic NutriVitamins are not available in stores, so call n—"

*changes channel*

"Since I started brushing with Magic Sparkle Toothpaste, my teeth have never been whiter!"

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

"He's your president, too, you know."

"No he isn't. I'm not American."

Dozens of CIA agents appear out of nowhere "Yes he is."

*Changes channel*

[Vadterland]

"I personally find the invention of pants to be a crime against human liber-"

*changes channel*

[Waisnor]

"And now we enter the great game called "What this smile of Kim Jong Un means", what do you think?"

*changes channel*