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CHANGE THE CHANNEL

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User avatar
95X
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1415
Founded: Sep 30, 2004
Capitalist Paradise

Re: Change the Channel

Postby 95X » Wed Aug 04, 2021 12:33 pm

An announcer voice says, "Tonight on Slide Leap, our intermultiversal travelers find themselves in a world where the newspaper date says '2021', but the events and people of 1981 are unfolding! Can our travelers, trapped in a past that's also the present, really get jobs by walking into a business and giving the manager a firm handshake while looking them in the eye and asking if they can start today?"

*A "Breaking News" announcement appears*

"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for continuing coverage of the New York Governor's Scandal. As you may already know—"

*changes channel*
Nation not my RL views, etc.
Poe's Law. Nonpartisan.
Is it sad that some I learned AO4LIFE from are no longer in Atlantian Oceania?

User avatar
Carrelie
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 382
Founded: Feb 21, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Carrelie » Fri Aug 06, 2021 1:50 am

"Chimpanzees are absolutely fascinating beings, but I shouldn't get too close because one killed my wife in cold blood and told me he would kill again. Oh, one seems to be approa- it has a knife. The chimpanzee has a-" *scream*

*Changes channel*
✿ Carrelian Confederation ✿
NS Stats not canon

Member of WMCA
WaisnorMalta Comino GozoCarrelieAlezian UnionAchaean Republic
Caribou Island (Moorland) & Aenglide are also there.
Ignore literally every vaguely political post I made pre-2022 my views and understandings have changed significantly :)

User avatar
The Arbys Cult
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 4
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Arbys Cult » Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:25 am

Hero: "You won't get away with this!"

Villain: "Oh, but I already have. Well not yet, actually, but soon! You see, my plan is simple:
Tonight, the planets will align, and Shrebgelfuthor the demon spirit will descend from his portal atop Mt. Pullabooka. My scientists have developed a device that will capture his essence and distill it into a massive crystal. Once the crystal is transported safely to my fortress, we will grind it into microscopic specks of dust made out of PURE EVIL! We shall bake the dust into a delicious cake, which will be served at the President's birthday dinner next week. Then, once the evil dust is in the President's bloodstream, he shall become the vessel of evil spirits. Meanwhile, I will be constructing a scale model of the Presidential Palace. Since the evil spirits controlling the President won't know where the Palace is, they will follow the arrows which I will have conveniently placed, leading straight to the replica and TO MY TRAP! Once the evil spirits are trapped, they will summon Shrebgelfuthor to free them, but not before the military arrives to rescue the President. They will each blame the other for the kidnapping, and fight in a fierce battle. That is when I will appear to begin the peace negotiations. Due to the fact that I prevented the battle from escalating to a full-scale war between humanity and demons, they will have no choice but to return the favor. That is when I will make my demand: an ULTRA! POWERFUL! DEATH RAAAAAAAAAAAY! AH HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Hero: "And you couldn't just build a death ray because..."

Villain: "Uhhhhhhh..."

*Changes channel*
Praise be unto those who have The Meats™!

User avatar
Gabingston
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 21
Founded: Aug 10, 2019
Right-wing Utopia

Postby Gabingston » Fri Aug 06, 2021 9:58 am

Are YOU being called about taxes? Want the IRS to stick it up their ass?? Call 1800-IRS-STINGOP for 50% off of our professional tax evaders. Call within the next 30 minutes for a free ticket to a country of your choice with no extradition laws. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Legittaxevaders.llc is not responsible for any sting operation that may or may not result in torture, waterboarding or death

*Changes channel*
Dear Liberals, if socialism is so great? Why am I not socialist? Checkmate.
-Shen Bapiro

https://imgur.com/IBGGt29

Uses NS stats, proudly (answer more issues and accept the flaws of your nations soyboys and soygirls)

User avatar
Kauzat
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 20
Founded: Apr 19, 2021
Father Knows Best State

Postby Kauzat » Fri Aug 06, 2021 4:26 pm

HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO GO CANOEING IN A DRIED OUT RIVER?
WELL ME TOO! AND NOW YOU CAN, IN THE KYHAJAI RIVER!

*changes channel*

The Islamic Space Piracy Group of "Kauzantia"

User avatar
Pirusavia
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 134
Founded: Jan 25, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Pirusavia » Fri Aug 06, 2021 4:31 pm

"Ario's getting close, Ario's getting close, Geoff is preparing the keep and and AND AND HE KICKED IT GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL *INCOHERENT SCREAM OF SPECTATORS* *VUVUZELA SOUNDS*"

*changes channel*
A federal left-wing nationalist country situated in a fictional world in the extended Cold War timeline. Authoritarian by Western standards, Libertarian by Eastern standards. Atomic Tech - The year is 1978.

In process of retconning, especially regarding geography and demographics.

User avatar
Steves Anomaly Agency
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Aug 01, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Steves Anomaly Agency » Fri Aug 06, 2021 4:31 pm

the sound of breaking glass and somebody yelling in simplified Soveinian
FREDRICK, THE SOVEINIANS ARE HERE, GET YOUR ARSE OUT OF THERE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

*changes channel*
A nation based off a company in a game I want to make.

User avatar
95X
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1415
Founded: Sep 30, 2004
Capitalist Paradise

Re: Change the Channel

Postby 95X » Mon Aug 09, 2021 6:07 am

Applause is heard, then a very irritated person begins talking.

"Facebook, Google, and NationStates are creating databases of our information!"

"How do you know?" a skeptical interviewer asks.

"Because everytime you access one of their sites, it creates a connection between my computer and theirs!"

"You're literally describing how the internet has always worked," replies the straight-faced interviewer. "Are there any other relevant points in your new book?"

"We should continue defunding the police and replace it with a domestic peace-keeping organization!"

"That's the literal definition of a police department," the unconvinced interviewer replies.

"Well, then what about Social Security? It's a bankrupt pyramid scheme! It should be replaced with a program where you get the money you put in once you retire or become disabled!"

"You're literally describing Social Security," the interviewer looks to his side. "The book The American Conspiracy on store shelves now, might be on dollar store shelves by next month. Stay tuned—"

*changes channel*
Nation not my RL views, etc.
Poe's Law. Nonpartisan.
Is it sad that some I learned AO4LIFE from are no longer in Atlantian Oceania?

User avatar
95X
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1415
Founded: Sep 30, 2004
Capitalist Paradise

Re: Change the Channel

Postby 95X » Sun Aug 15, 2021 7:37 pm

(Tough crowd this week?) ;)

*95X walks in, sees the TV is unplugged, plugs it back in, and presses the power button to turn it back on.*

"Next on Mikey plays Minecraft—"

*changes channel*

"In the next thirty minutes, we'll introduce you to the best Forex trading app that's free to joi—"

*changes channel*
Nation not my RL views, etc.
Poe's Law. Nonpartisan.
Is it sad that some I learned AO4LIFE from are no longer in Atlantian Oceania?

User avatar
The Arbys Cult
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 4
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Arbys Cult » Sun Aug 15, 2021 7:56 pm

"You have 2 minutes."

"Look, all I'm trying to say is that everyone has the right to complain, and everyone has the right to complain about everyone having the right to complain. That's free speech, and that's fine. Of course, that being said, WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP FOR 5 MINUTES? I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" The speaker stops to breathe. "YOU PEOPLE ARE THE REASON ASPIRIN SALES ARE GOING UP!"

*Changes channel*
Praise be unto those who have The Meats™!

User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:10 am

"... and later, Alphonse and Fish ride again in the classic western, Rio Fisho, starring Fish is the tough sheriff who doesn't need anybody's help. Alphonse steals the show as the drunken deputy who's no use to anybody - and a downright danger with a wagon load of dynamite. And introducing nine Lufthansa stewardesses as the heart-of-gold saloon girls who get under everybody's feet. Tonight at nine, followed by...."

*changes channel*
Last edited by Fatatatutti on Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Inner Planets
Attaché
 
Posts: 96
Founded: Jul 09, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Inner Planets » Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:18 am

"Welcome back to jeopardy! Today's contestants are-"
*changes channel*
"Aliens. They did-"
*changes channel*
>( . _ . )<
Axolotl :)

User avatar
95X
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1415
Founded: Sep 30, 2004
Capitalist Paradise

Re: Change the Channel

Postby 95X » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:30 pm

"Tonight on Conan Rerun of the Night—"

*changes channel*
Nation not my RL views, etc.
Poe's Law. Nonpartisan.
Is it sad that some I learned AO4LIFE from are no longer in Atlantian Oceania?

User avatar
Arpasia
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1738
Founded: Jun 18, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Arpasia » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:32 pm

And here we see a human in it's natural habita-

*changes channel *
Ek Sê!, A Nation on Eastern Altropia, basically an Alternate Universe France.
NS Stats executed by M67 Rifle.
Le temps de Philippeaux: OrbOb satellite captures S.S Jiangxiao moored on pirate-controlled Nasrah coast. | Black Coast government fully transitions into military dictatorship virtually overnight. | 5.7 magnitude earthquake rocks western Norteagua and Cortina. | Arpasian ambassador to Sufistan disappears after going inside People's Council building.
Since those people have anime girls and whatnot on their flags, I decide to use him in my flag, and also, this is not Henry on my flag, it's Konrad and a marine.

Likes: Quailty Posts, F7, GE&T, Henry Stickmin, S-61R, UH-60.
Dislikes: Summies, Adbots, Slaver Nations, One-liners.

User avatar
Merimenea
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 06, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Merimenea » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:43 pm

"In this weeks episode of Real Housewives of New Jerse-.."

*aggressively changes channel*
NS STATS NOT USED
Jewish-Italian | Zionist | LGBTQ+ | He/Him

User avatar
Sanhana
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 120
Founded: Jul 18, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Sanhana » Wed Aug 18, 2021 8:43 pm

"Today on Sands and Sun news- THE GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU. SAND AND SUN IS A SC-"

Azia changes the channel, not about to have government secrets be exposed again
Welcome to Sanhana! Tier 4, Type 3, Regional power in Africa according to viewtopic.php?f=23&t=244917
We do not use NS stats. as it's very hard to accurately represent the life and peoples of Sanhana using them

BREAKING NEWS:If you are reading this, I am the Sands and Sun news man, and I've been diagnosed with cancer.

User avatar
Constitutional Liberistan
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 10
Founded: Jul 03, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Constitutional Liberistan » Wed Aug 18, 2021 9:22 pm

“…John Doe, a CIA staffer allegedly turned spy for the Soviet Union. President McCarthy tweeted today that Mr Doe was summarily shot by federal officers, continuing a string of “entirely justified” extrajudicial killings that has alarmed civil rights groups and led some totally radical communist groups to accuse the President of being an autocrat”

*changes channel*

User avatar
Gabingston
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 21
Founded: Aug 10, 2019
Right-wing Utopia

Postby Gabingston » Thu Aug 19, 2021 4:55 am

"At 7 PM our panel will discuss whether or not nations with a large economy are compensating for something small? At 8 PM our panel will discuss whether or not a laser sight pointed at a someone's head will change their topic of conversation? Watch all this on BNN"

*Changes channel*
Dear Liberals, if socialism is so great? Why am I not socialist? Checkmate.
-Shen Bapiro

https://imgur.com/IBGGt29

Uses NS stats, proudly (answer more issues and accept the flaws of your nations soyboys and soygirls)

User avatar
The Time Has Come
Secretary
 
Posts: 31
Founded: Aug 19, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby The Time Has Come » Thu Aug 19, 2021 4:57 am

"In Germany, Jews are being ensla-"
CHANGE CHANNEL
Also, Join Our Cause Please
Last edited by The Time Has Come on Thu Aug 19, 2021 4:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Meebritolia
Secretary
 
Posts: 28
Founded: Jul 03, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Meebritolia » Thu Aug 19, 2021 5:05 am

"The Figmene-Chimpanoya war has now evolved into a stalemate, troops on each side have fortified opposite areas of Fighamschter. Since yesterday, Chimpanoyan troops have been trying to charge the enemy trenches, to mild success. We will report updates as they occur."
*changes channel*
Last edited by Meebritolia on Thu Aug 19, 2021 5:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
=THE EMPIRE OF MEEBRITOLIA=

User avatar
The Arbys Cult
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 4
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Arbys Cult » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:32 am

"Over the years, he's been in hundreds of shows, movies, and even video games, so today we'll be counting down the top 5 quotes by Dee Bradley Baker."

Number 5: "Wraaoooogh!"
Number 4: "Meow"
Number 3: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Number 2: "Hiiiiieeeerrrrrgggg"
Number 1: "Grdgrdgrdgrdgrdgr"

*Changes channel*
Praise be unto those who have The Meats™!

User avatar
Lumio Magika
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 122
Founded: Nov 12, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Lumio Magika » Fri Aug 20, 2021 7:39 am

"Jumpin' Jehosaphat, his head came clean off! That's gotta hurt!"

Changes channel
The Literary Minds's resident therapist-to-be. In my opinion, there's no greater feeling than the happiness you get when you help someone in need. I live my life for the sake of my friends and the people around the world that need my help.

Lumio out-of-context:
Lumio Magika wrote:Burn them with holy fire until nothing but ashes remain!
I don't use NS stats! Adunatum sub Lumina!

User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10966
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Fatatatutti » Fri Aug 20, 2021 9:31 am

"Bloop."

"Wek."

"Bloop."

"Wek."

"Bloop."

"Wek."

"We will return to the Alphonse-Fish Presidential debate after these messages from our sponsor...."

*changes channel*

User avatar
Jabanese
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 172
Founded: May 04, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Jabanese » Fri Aug 20, 2021 9:35 pm

"So Today We Are Going To Interview BAStartgaming With His Friend Frank sanchez"

*Changes Channel*
During WW2 We Were A Dominion Of Both Imperial Japan And The Italian Empire More Like Puppet But The ITALIANS MANAGE TO WIN EVERY BATTLE IN THE JABANESE ISLE HOW THE FUCK DID THEY EVEN

Jabanese Puppets And Colonies-Jabanese Africa and Manchukon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qjuvLFNFKA&t=32s

User avatar
Rose-Wood
Secretary
 
Posts: 32
Founded: Aug 20, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Rose-Wood » Fri Aug 20, 2021 9:42 pm

America’s Favirote Sports Channel

0-0, Boat is up to bat in the bottom of the 9th. 2 outs, bases loaded. The pitch… IT’S GOING, IT’S GOING, IT’S GO-

*Changes channel as he burns his Not the Nationals Jersey*

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