CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[Hanovereich]

"Shake it, don't stir it!"

*changes channel*

[Apocalyst Italy]

"Here is another new artifact, the rainbow. Look at it's rainbow-like colors. What a beaut, and it can be yours, for just 3 Albanian lek!

*changes channel*

[Deblar]

“I couldn’t afford a present this year, so I got you this box.”

“That’s what I got you!”

*changes channel*

[Keira]

"Dobry wie--"

*changes channel*

[Grootfries Rijk]

"- Victory in the east! Our brave boys in blue defeated the final remnants of the Malay Uprising, bringing order back to Frisian East In-"

*Changes channel*

[Tringapore]

"MUAHAHAHA! YOU'RE-"

*changes channel*

[95X]

Yet another news/talk/interview channel (aren't there more than enough of these?). Anchor is a woman wearing too much makeup and dressed like she just walked out of the Republican National Convention.

"Welcome back. As you know, Affinity National Savings and Loan closed its doors and and former customers will receive a check for their account balances. To talk about what to look for in your next bank, we have Wells Fargo's—"

*Changes channel immediately while laughing maniacally*

[Nordic-British Union]

*The channel changes to National Blitzgraphic, a satirical parody of National geographic featuring tanks instead.
“Here we see the rare American T95 Turtle, in its natural habitat. Observe its thick armour, extreme weight and slow speed, reminiscent of its animal counterpart, as it struggles to reach its destined terrain, a riv—
VEHICLE DROWNED. EVERYONE BAIL OUT
Well, now it’s extinct. And we blame Global Warming for that.”
*changes channel, disappointed

[Fatatatutti]

"... the short-lived spin-off, The Fishington Babies, in which all members of the family, from all generations, were babies...."

*changes channel*

[Keira]

- How much izh dish?
- Won forty-nine, thir
- Ahv got fifdee pee - fack yoo, bashted

*changes channel*

[95X]

An off-camera announcer says, "Now, on the 24-Hour Internet Cuisine Channel, it's the Oly—um—World Championships of Cooking!"

*Screen quick cuts to a contestant interview while 95X gets up to unplug the router as to avoid becoming ill*

The contestant speaks, "I have lambasted everyone for their dull palates my entire life—"

*TV says "Connection Lost" and automatically changes to a broadcast channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Fish tries to fix the toaster. Alphonse recommends hitting it with a hammer. Fish points out that it's already broken. Alphonse suggests a bigger hammer. Fish decides that if he can fix the toaster he'll probably electrocute himself anyway. Alphonse notices that the toaster is unplugged. He plugs it in."

*changes channel*

"Fish discovers that Alphonse has a whole closet full of secret replacement fishes in plastic bags."

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

"This cat, Garfield. He is fat and lazy. Do you know why this is? In the comics, it is shown that he eats copious amounts of lasagna. That lasagna corrupted an ordinary house cat, turning him into the symbol of lethargy we know him as. Had he instead partaken in the divine roast beef sandwiches at Arby's, he would have become a pious and holy cat who spends his time preaching and worshipping, rather than sleeping all day and kicking dogs—"

*Changes channel*

[Conklandi]

"Up next, a reality show where vapid personalities are forced to be interest-"

*changes channel*

[Ostankin]

Spartak Telecenter defeated Real Madrid on the first matchday of the Champions League group stage. The only goal was scored by Anatoliy Beschastnykh, YOU ARE DEVOTED TO THE LEADER, YOU LIKE GREAT SOWER SATOR AND WILL DO EVERYTHING WHAT HE WAN...

*desperately changes the channel*

[Atheara]

Kitchen gun, now on sale for 14.99$
*bang* *bang*

*Quickly changes channel*

[Arpasia]

Put the lid down, *Clack* and let Toilet Grenade do the rest!

BAAAANG!!! and the limescales GONE!

Toilet Grenade! BANG! and the germs a-

*Changes Channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"On tonight's late movie it's One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. A communist spy (Fish) tries to infiltrate the CIA and only a mild-mannered bus-driver (Alphonse) can stop him."

*changes channel*

[Deblar]

“No, dad, I’m not a crazed gunman, I’m an assassin…

“Well, the difference bein’ ones a job and the other’s mental sickness.”

*changes channel*

[95X]

"In the next thirty minutes, we'll tell you, yes you, how you can tap the beauty secrets of the star—"

*changes channel*

[Snowish Republic]

*Two people "randomly" clicking on gamecube controllers making them do cool things on the game theyre playing*
*Changes channel*

[Arpasia]

INTRUDER ALERT! RED SPY IN THE BASE!

A RED spy is in the base?

*Opening bars of "Intruder Alert!" plays*

*Changes Channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

"Who absorbed all the water out of the sea? (MengerSpongeBob SquarePants!)
A surface area of infinity! (MengerSpongeBob SquarePants!)
If mathematical nonsense be something you wish, (MengerSpongeBob SquarePants!)
Then

*Changes channel*

[Arpasia]

*Cut to a Scary-as-fuck face, while loud screaming plays*

*Quickly changes channel, Internally #Scarred4Life*

[Fatatatutti]

Alphonse throws another shrimp on the barbie. Fish develops a seafood allergy.

*changes channel*