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[The Opinions Guy]

YOU TOO can gain immortality if you follow these three simple steps...

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[The Arbys Cult]

"If I hear one more person talking about how they don't use NS Stats, I'm gonna send my 5 billion population on them! You hear that?"

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[Dominioan]

This just in! Gordon Ramsay has been seen breaking reality in New York! It seems that he found the lamb sauce, and consumed it!

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[The Voxijan Republic]

"China didn't just cause the virus, China is a virus!"

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[B o r o v a n]

"Republicans LOVE him!! See the one trick this Democrat is saying that's making thousands of Democrats switch to the Republican Party."

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[Rwizima]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Impossible! Ho-
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[Central Australis]

if u chinge this channle ur gae-
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[New Vedan]

"HEY, ARE YOU TIRED OF REAL DOORS?
Just cluttering up your house, where you open ’em, and they actually go somewhere? And you go in another room? Not our doors! THESE DOORS DON'T GO ANYWHERE
Try to open em. It ain't gonna open. I guarentee it."
*pulls door knob*
"WONT OPEN!"
*pulls on another doorknob*
"WONT OPEN!"
*pulls one more doorknob*
"NONE OF THEM OPEN!"
*turns toward camera*

"We have fake doors like you wouldn’t believe!

So what are you worried about?

Come get these genuine fake doors!

Call us up, and order some fake doors today.

Don’t even hesitate, Don’t even worry and don’t even give it a second thought.
​
That’s our slogan. See it on the bottom of the screen, below our name.

And here’s another slogan, right below that one.

Theres nothing to worry about!

So come on down and get fake doors!

Get in here quick, get out quicker, with an arm of fake doors in you arms."

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[B o r o v a n]

"This time machine doesn't fucking work!! What's wrong with this stupid damn-"
Warp!
"Uh oh."

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[The Arbys Cult]

"So, what are your opinions on the current protests in Hong Kong?"
"I think the people deserve the right to speak out against this repressive regime."
"I take it you're not a big fan of the Chinese government."
"Oh, no. I would go so far as to say that China is not a legitimate state. In fact..."
The interviewed person takes off his mask to reveal he's actually Genghis Khan
"...It never was."

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[Occidens Praseodymia]

A Nigerian man discovers he's a 10th dimensional being.
"Tank-a-yu very much-a God!"
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[Occidens Praseodymia]

"Yeah way down yonder on the Chattahoochee
Never knew how much that muddy water meant to me
But I learned how to swim and I learned how I was
A lot about livin' and a little 'bout love..."

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[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse writes a screenplay about a steam-punk recycle bin. Fish sues him for plagiarism. Alphonse tries to recycle Fish...."

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[Arthralonia]

"Ladies and gentlemen, today, we have a special promotion, do not miss your chance to get the latest and newest solution for floor cleaning! Today and only today we have a special promotion on the automated robotic floor cleaner. Forget about mopping your floor manually, with the newest RoboCleaner 4.0! Now with integrated remote controls, automatic recharging and fall sensors! Get the RoboCleaner for the amazing price of not 1000, not 800 but 500 marks! Hurry up and dial 082-"
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[B o r o v a n]

A nerd sees a popular girl. He purposely walks slow and as she sees him, she rolls her eyes at him.

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[Korhe]

TV static

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[Vidane]

DO THE MARIO!

Swing your arms from side to side, come on it's time to go do the Mar-

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[Santa Selena]

BREAKING NEWS: 10 THOUSAND BELIEVED DEAD IN HELENSKI FROM OIL REFINERY EXPLODING, IT WAS CAUSE BY MAXTOPIAN TERR-
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[Unitarian Universalism]

"Farts make me happy"

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[Ovesa]

"What we consider vegetables can be classified as a root, leaf, stem, or fruit. Vegetable is a purely culinary term that describes produce that is generally savory (the only "rule" is that it cannot be a sweet fruit). Therefore, it is accurate to say that vegetables are a social construc-"

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[B o r o v a n]

A group of college students from three different universities are singing and partying to a song at sunset on a beach. A girl wearing a shirt and shorts interrupted them.
"Okay we're going to play a game! It's catch a football. There's two teams. You have to run to get the ball when I say a number. And EVERYONE HAS TO PLAY!"

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[Nevertopia]

"In other news, former religious figurehead accused of sexual misconduct states, 'I got so hard and tried so far, in the end it didnt even matter.' More at 11."

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[The Arbys Cult]

"You know those tesla coils that can play music?"
"Yeah."
"The other day, I heard one playing 'Thunderstruck' by AC/DC."
"Okay, so?"
"As I was listening, I thought to myself, 'if it's AC/DC, but played on a tesla coil, would it still be AC/DC, or would it just be AC?"

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[Preusses]

And now it's time for Courage the Cowardly Dog--

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[Evacillian]

"...for later this afternoon. In other news, a woman in Florida was caught by local Marine Officials to be riding a dolphin naked. She claimed that she was, Quote, 'living the life of free love from her glory days', and invited the officials to join in on the, apparently, not illegal activity. Seeing as this is Florida, it really turns out to no surprise that the officials were found by another Marine Police squad-"

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