CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[Nooooooooooooooo]

"Thank you villager #4. A rogue citizen was found breaking one of our laws..."
*changes channel*

[B o r o v a n]

"What did you do?"
"I'm not telling."
"If you not telling we are officially banning you from this campus."
A few seconds passed. The guy looked.
"I've been taking pictures."
"Why?"
"I thought-to be happy."
"Are you a student?"
"No."
"Are you on any meds?"
"No, none of that."
"Ok I just got back. Did you know it is a crime to lie to an officer?"
"Oh former student."
"Ok just delete the pics. We talked to her, and there won't be any charges."
The guy reached out for his phone and deleted a picture.
"No, no all of it."
The guy deleted everything.
"Son, can I search your backpack?"
"For what?"
"Can I search?"
"Yes."
"You have a knife here. I thought you said you didn't have any weapons."
"Forgot I had a pocket knife."
"Aiming for a Master's?" pulling a paper.
"Perhaps."
"Yeah I don't think teacher is right for you. You look-"
"Yeah I kinda look er-serious."
"No the word is you look withdrawn. You know what teachers do all day? Ok what we got to do is you gotta repeat these words. I am hereby by penal code 34DF1235632 banned from the campus for a month. Don't ever come here or your banned permanently. And don't come back without a reason. "
The guy repeated the words.
"Do you need a lift from the police cruiser?"
"Sure."
"Do you have any friends?"
"No."
"Talk to family?"
"Not much."
"Well I suggest going to church. There's girls in church. However, what you doing women don't like that. It's not the best approach. You should get a minimum wage job. Sometimes all it takes is getting a minimum wage job. Ok I'm gonna dr-"

* changes channel*

[Korean Proletarians]

Person 1: Yes.
Person 2: Yes?
Person 1: Yes!

*changes channel*

[Jerzylvania]

"...And after the conclusion of Work it stay tuned for the return of The 1/2 Hour News Hour... the Next 1/2 Hour! tonight only on Fox..."

*changes channel*

[7 Nation Army]

" ...'You’re the Worst' might appear to be a Bad Santa or Bad Teacher knock-off in which characters who are all i'd say whatever snarky, cynical ideas tha... "

*CHANGES CHANNEL*

[Card Drunk]

“No! Not the bees! Nooooo! Not the bees! My eyes! Arghhhhhhh! Arghhhhhh! Arghhhhhh!”

*CHANges CHANnel*

[Nooooooooooooooo]

[confused confusion*

*changes channel*

[Boring People]

“I saw a lemon sitting there; that’s when I noticed the bear. It looked at me from its chair; he was eating a pear! I made my brother poke him on a dare; he received quite the glare! The offended one left, disgusted; we could not be trusted. The bear’s car was rusted; yet, he managed to ride off, back to his home, somewhere in the woods outside of town — a two-storey dome.”

*changes channel*

[Advancia-Sizzletown]

"Confusion of da high-"

*Changes Channel*

[Fishy Apples]

Rey: "And I... am..."
D-0: "...ZA WARUDO!!"

*9 seconds later*

Rey: *has blood gushing from her body* "...the... what the f-"

*changes channel*

[Jerzylvania]

"...then you told me a hawk stole them! You exploited me and made me believe in a slightly more magical world!"

*changes channel*

[Your Plastic Pal whos FUN to be with]

"Where are my niece and nephew? Let's go murder them...."

Changes Channel

[Deshima]

"Marry me, Marry me, Marry me, Marry me, Marry me-"

Changes Channel (Nope-)

[2020 AD]

"...In a room sit three great men, a king, a priest, and a rich man with his gold. Between them stands a sellsword, a little man of common birth and no great mind. Each of the great ones bids him slay the other two. 'Do it,' says the king, 'for I am your lawful ruler.' 'Do it,' says the priest, 'for I command you in the names of the gods.' 'Do it,' says the rich man, 'and all this gold shall be..."

Oh fuck it.

*changes channel*

[Fishy Apples]

Random Man: *screaming* "DIARRHEA GIVES ME SUPER STRENGTH!!"

Eww......

*changes channel*

[Cossack Peoples]

"And All I want for Christmas, IS Y--"

*Grabs rope, changes channel*

[Diarcesia]

"And All I want for Christmas, IS Y--"

*Grabs rope, changes channel*

"Hold on, the man is choking! Help!"

"Just kidding, it's the end of the line!"

*Changes channel*

[Fishy Apples]

Reporter: Sword-wielding boy in green lays waste to Pottery Barn, finds bombs in back of store. More at 11."

*changes channel*

[Konolas]

«And now, we will show you the most boring movie in existence»
*changes channel out of boredom*

[B o r o v a n]

"IF TEXAS GOES BLUE ITS OVER!! DEMOCRATS HAVE THE ADVANTAGE REPUBLICANS MAY WIN THE NEXT FEW ELECTIONS BUT LONG TERM THE U.S. WILL BE A MINORITY MAJORITY COUNTRY THEY WILL VOTE DEMOCRAT AND WE ARE GETTING FUCKED THAT MAY CHANGE BUT WE HAVE MAJORITY WHO ARE NOT MARRIED THAT IS NOT GOOD UNMARRIED WOMEN TEND TO VOTE DEMOCRAT OVERW-"

*changes channel*

[Neue Coolidge]

"What's the deal with Airline-"

*changes the hell out of the channel*

[Gladesville]

"By now, you may-

Bounces the frack outta that channel

[B o r o v a n]

"OH MY LORD CAMILA CABELLO SAID THAT ASIANS SPEAK THE CHING CHONG LANGUAGE AND NIGGER MEMES WHEN SHE WAS FIFTEEN YEARS OLD!!!"
"Huh where?"
"It's right here on a Twitter post." Clicks
"............WHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!!"
Ten minutes later.
"I HATE YOU CAMI-"

*changes channel*

[Peter Max Barry]

'Next Chef Tinfoil has waived this all away now. He is claiming Brandy, JoJo and Meph are simply still confused about the alcohol content of the vanilla extract necessary to flavor a sock....'

*changes channel*

[Tulenia]

As we can see, Tulenian Soldiers are committing war crimes against the people of Russia by gunning down those who do not surrende-

changes channel