CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[Cul-Ed-Sac]

"The Zuki Zucchini Show will be right ba-"

*changes channel*

[Upper Ireland]

"I like bowling. It's the best sport. ¡Muy fantástico!"

*changes channel*

[Aruia]

*changes channel in adult*

[95X]

*Changes the channel again to avoid anyone getting in trouble.*

"Today's guest on the program wrote a book on how to avoid letting anyone else tell you what to do."

Good idea! So why do I need to watch this show?

*Changes channel*

[Soudar]

Reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram.

change channel.

[Fatatatutti]

"Tonight on Fatatatu-TV, Alphonse suffers a relapse of his Bovine Spongiform Ensnuffleupagus... Fish picks up Elton John in his Uber...."

*changes channel*

[West Leas Oros 2]

Tonight on ENDLESS FORTNITE DANCING
*Changes Channel at Light Speed*

[Grotesque Spore Creatures]

static


5 seconds later...

growing, walking figure appears on TV

CHANGES CHANNEL

[Cul-Ed-Sac]

"Tighter please...thanks so-"

*changes channel*

[Satanic Atheists]

Man sitting on chair in darkness under spotlight: All hail Satan. Hail! Hail!
Growing chorus of people in background: Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail!
*lights go up, revealing arena full of people*
Large mass of people pumping fists in air: Hail! Hail! Hail!

*changes channel*

[New Transeurasia]

"wE lIKe FoRTNiTe WE lIkE fORt-"

*yeets the remote through the tv at the speed of light*

Dammit why the hell havent i switched to on demand i swear cable tv just gets worse by the hour

*throws broken tv away, gets same tv model out of closet, which is full with at least 20 of the same TV model, and puts the TV where the broken TV was*

[United States of Americanas]

*turns on new TV*

WELCOME TO THE NEW LABTRON TV. THIS IS A SMART TELEVISION THATS SMARTER THAN YOU! SO SMART IT’LL PROVE IT BY READING YOUR MIND AND TURNING ON WHAT YOU WANT TO WATCH.

*TV turns on tellytubbies*

STUPID ASS TV! I WAS THINKING ABOUT BATTLEBOTS. WHERE DID YOU GET TELLETUBBIES FROM!

*throws TV out the window*

*goes to the closet and looks for a regular TV and finds a 55 inch old school projection TV from the 90’s collecting dust.*

*lugs the giant heavy ass TV to the spot where the LABTRON was*

[Ubekibekibekibekistanstan]

*turns on television*

"...the world's most prestigious bingo bango bongo tournament..."

*changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"... International Hungry Hungry Hippos Championship...."

*changes channel*

"Alphonse is the local favorite in the International Hungry Hungry Hippos Championship...."

*changes channel*

"... Las Vegas is giving three-to-one odds for Alphonse in the International Hungry Hungry Hippos Championship...."

*changes channel*

"And now, the news.... The International Hungry Hungry Hippos Championship...."

*changes channel*

"... Puffa Puffa Rice Factory...."

*changes channel*

[95X]

"And now, here's Elle—"

*Changes channel immediately*

[GLBT]

“The applemongers have always promoted the growing of apples, the selling and buying of apples, the eating of apples, and usage of apples in pies. This all must be ended.”

*changes channel*

[Aruia]

"And for only 9.99 this fork could be yours in just..."

*changes the channel*

[Stanier]

cue the ending of The Sopranos

*changes the channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"... tonight on Baking with Alphonse...."

*changes channel*

*Chef Gordon Ramsay helps Alphonse make apple fritters*

*changes channel*

*Gordon Ramsay criticizes Alphonse's plating technique*

*changes channel*

*Alphonse hits Gordon Ramsay with a plate*

*unsubscribes from the Food Channel*

[Nooooooooooooooo]

"Question: What type of bear is best?"
"That's a ridiculous question."
"False: Black bear."
"Wha--"
"Fact: Bears eat beets.
Bears.
Beets.
Battlestar Galactica."
"Wha- Bears do no--
WHAT IS GOING ON? W H A T A R E Y O U D O I N G ?"

*Changes channel*

[BuDa]

Here on rhe news, 40% of Buda's land has been occupied by REDACTED.

*changes channel*

[United States of Americanas]

*breaking news music*

In Thailand a robot from a car factory has been declared a citizen after its AI went run amok and learned more than an average human can in their lifetime. The robot has since asked for a raise from the auto manufacturer. The manufacturer told the robot to find another job and was nice enough to send it out of the factory with a hefty battery pack. The robot is said to be seeking employment in the semiconductors market. If this robot *shows photo* comes to your facility looking for a job, you best be ready to treat it like a human worker.

*headdesk* I should have believed the dude with the tinfoil hat when he said robots would begin an uprising. This is it!!! AHHHHH *grabs tinfoil and makes a hat and hides behind the TV*

[Never Whatever]

"marriage is NOT some sort of scapegoat for the young adults-"

*yawn* *changes channel*

[Cul-Ed-Sac]

"Kiss me, m'luv, and quench thy..."

*changes channel*

[Aruia]

"Why are you gae?"

*changes the channel*