CHANGE THE CHANNEL

by **Aurevbush** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:46 am

"Wait! This is absurd...COMMUNISM AND DEMOCRACY NEVER MIX WELL!! I t is like mixing sodium with water...IT WILL EXPLODE!!!"

*changes channel*

by **Confederatio Germanico** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 8:07 am

-I never ordered pizza, I ordered chinese.
-Oh for fuck, here take your fucking tobacco.

*changes channel*

by **B o r o v a n** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:30 pm

"Ok ready? I'm gonna throw the ball now!"
"Ready!"
The pitcher starts to throw.
"YOURE GOING TOO FAST!" The girl yelled shielding herself.
"I haven't even thrown yet!"
"Oh? Ok. I'm ready now."
The pitcher moved his arm back, ready to throw.
"YOURE GOING TOO FAST!!!" the girl said again, covering her face with her hands.

*changes channel*

by **Fatatatutti** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 1:56 pm

"And now, the continuing adventuures of Alphonse and Fish.... Our heroes have been hired to haul a load of nitroglycerine through the South American jungle. The catch? Fish is afraid of explosives and Alphonse is a terrible driver..."

*changes channel*

by **Never was New England** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:07 pm

"Welcome to the E-Sports Overwatch Championship of 2020!"

*changes channel*

by **Free Ravensburg** » Mon Jun 15, 2020 2:11 pm

-Ravenian man killed his cat over a piece of sala-

*changes channel

by **The Arbys Cult** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 8:35 am

-d dressing that will make everyone at the party want to-

*changes channel*

by **95X** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 10:51 am

"Today, we talk to Amy Bouzaglo about—"

*changes channel immediately*

by **Minskiev** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:01 am

“Love TikTok? Me neither. Shut it down. But...the kids! SHUT IT DOWN! But, what about Charli? SHE DIDN’T DESERVE THE FAME OR MONEY ANYWAYS! NOW! NO! WHAT DID YOU SAY?! AAAAAAA!!!!”

*changes channel*

by **Talatorrum** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 11:08 am

"Loveyourbody's new women's clothing gives the wearer an empowering energy, that just can't be replicated by the man-owned comp-"

*change channel*

by **Free Ravensburg** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 2:47 pm

Some-

*accidentally changes channel

by **Antibuda** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 2:55 pm

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE CHEESE!"
"Mr. Ramsay... we're out..."
"GET MORE FUCKING CHEESE! I DON'T CARE WHERE THE FUCK YOU GET IT, JUS-"
*changes channel*

by **Drewish** » Tue Jun 16, 2020 3:10 pm

What do you mean I can’t play eat the rat with the kids?

*changes channel*

by **Fatatatutti** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 8:59 am

"Alphonse puts the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong. Fish spends the whole afternoon trying to get it out."

*changes channel*

by **Free Ravensburg** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:03 am

“Are you seriously watching p*** alone?”
“NO! I’M WITH THE SCIENCE TEAM!”
*gibberish*
*mutant walks in*
Scientists: “AAAAAAAAAAAA-”

*changes channel

by **The Opinions Guy** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:06 am

So, do giant lizard potatoes secrete viscous honey every twenty-four hours?
We may never know.

*Changes Channel*

by **The Yeetusa** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:38 am

We will make America strong again!
We will make America proud again!
And we will make America great again!

(wild applause)

* changes channel*

by **Free Ravensburg** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:51 am

*applause*
“Alright Mike, name something a burglar would not want to see when they are robbing a house.”
“Naked Grandma!”
“Naked huh”

*changes channel

by **Aurora Veritas** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 10:42 am

The Elite are all about transcendence, and living forever, and the secrets of the Universe [...] We are on this planet, and Einstein's physics showed it, Max Planck's physics showed it: there's at least 12 dimensions, and all the top scientists and billionaires are coming out, saying it's a false hologram. It is artificial; the computers are scanning it and finding tension points where it's artificially projected, and gravity is bleeding into this universe - that's what they call dark matter - so we are like a thought or a dream that's a wisp in some computer program, some God's mind or whatever. [...]

There is this "Sub-transmission Zone" below the third dimension which is turned over to the most horrible things - that's what it resonates to - and it's trying to get up into the third dimension (that's just a basic level consciousness, to launch into the next levels.) And our species is already way up at the fifth/sixth dimension consciousnally [SIC] (our best people). But there's this war, trying to basically destroy Humanity, because Humanity has free will. And there's a decision - which level we want to go to. We have free will, so Evil is allowed to come and contend (and not just good). And the Elites themselves believe they are racing, using human technology, to try to take our best minds and build some type of breakaway civilization, where they are going to merge with machines, transcend and break away from the 'failed species' that is Man. [...]

Google believes the first AI will be a supercomputer based on the neuron activity of the 'hive-mind' of humanity, with billions of people wired into the 'Internet of Things.' And so all of our thoughts go into it, and we are actually building a computer that has real neurons, in real time, that is also psychically connected to us that are organic creatures. So that they will have current prediction powers, future prediction powers, a true 'crystal ball.' But the big secret is, once you have the 'crystal ball' and know the future, you can add stimuli beforehand and make decisions that control the future. And so then it's the end of consciousness and free will for individuals as we know it, and a true "2.0" in a very bad way. Hive-mind consciousness with an AI jacked into everyone, knowing our hopes and dreams, delivering it to us - not into some "P.K.D. Wire-head System" where we plug in and give up on consciousness because of unlimited pleasure - but because we were already wired in and absorbed before we knew it, by giving over our consciousness to this system by our daily decisions that it was able to manipulate and control into a larger system.[...]

The Devil, whatever you want to call this interdimensional thing that gives them advanced off-world technology, The Fallen One that's not of this world, is giving them advanced knowledge on how to construct these systems that have already been used before on other populations. [...] This is an interdimensional force that wants to influence us to build something that absorbs us and kills us, rather than the Divine free will we are given to build something much better that empowers the species. So the species is now making a decision about its entire future. [...] They believe we are this ugly, fallen, ugly species: we all need to be killed, they are the rich billionaires who are better than us, and they are going to merge with machines and become Gods and go to the next leve-

*changes channel*

by **The Opinions Guy** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:32 am

And that is why I cut off my...

*Changes Channel*

by **East Lodge** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:55 am

Welcome back to WHAT IS YOUR MESSED UP FETISH?

*changes channel*

by **Free Ravensburg** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:58 am

“Why are you gay?”
“Who says I’m gay?”
“You are gay”

*Changes Channel

by **Drewish** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:09 pm

“What’s it made of?”
“Breast Milk”.

by **Minskiev** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:12 pm

“Et c’est how toi faire un très bien risotto. Thanks French Gordon Ramsay! Will toi taste mon baguette? Hon hon hon wink win-“

*changes channel*

by **Santa Selena** » Wed Jun 17, 2020 9:17 pm

BREAKING NEWS: Selenan Unison Airlines Flight 227 was shot down by Maxtopian Rebels killing 270+ people!

-changes channel-

CHANGE THE CHANNEL

Re: Change the Channel

Who is online