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Abarri
Envoy
 
Posts: 345
Founded: Aug 10, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Abarri » Sat Jun 13, 2020 6:51 am

"For the first time since...well, 1999, we can see a repetition of numbers in the year!"
"Lame."


*changes channel*
Click to see factbook entries. Please ignore the income tax rate provided by NS.

Prefers The South Pacific. Spanish is not my native language. I often take things for granted. Green is my favorite color. Collects music CDs. A male who's an almost-libertarian. Nominal non-practicing Protestant. Eh, to heck with it, I'm unaffiliated. Poetaster.
How I found NS. Try not guessing where I reside.
We need to accept that there are things beyond our control.
Also, if having a letter in a flag is a sin, I'm proud to be a vexillographical sinner.

User avatar
Nacrad
Diplomat
 
Posts: 739
Founded: Jan 16, 2020
New York Times Democracy

Postby Nacrad » Sat Jun 13, 2020 6:52 am

"Is the Nacradian Government going to face a coup? Rumours has it that General Albert White is--"

*Changes channel*
A 14 civilization (6-0-5), according to this index.
Wuhan Pneumonia: Total: 4,328; Recovered: 4,287; Dead: 41; New cases: 0; Active cases: 0 [9 days without new cases]
WAR:Encirclement of Nanchang broken, tactical withdrawal in process
NEWS:09/08/2020 (FRI) | Tactical withdrawal from Nanchang continues | Minister of Foreign Affairs invited to Kergstan for talks | Amoy-Riverfort-Zhamkong Railway Line to undergo upgrades

User avatar
Austellusia
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Jun 02, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Austellusia » Sat Jun 13, 2020 6:54 am

"-recently outlawed dying before the age of 30. Anyone who does is to be given a prison sentence of up to-"

*Changes Channel*
We're Posadist Antarctica. We're friends with aliens, the dolphins work for us and in a fight we immediately fire the nukes.
Kind of a Bioshock series/Frostpunk style city-state. We don't use NS stats. If you have any questions/advice please feel free to message them to me
Update: We're gonna start arming the penguins.
We don't make the penguins fight for us, we make them spy for us. It's a big moral difference people.

User avatar
Abarri
Envoy
 
Posts: 345
Founded: Aug 10, 2017
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Abarri » Sat Jun 13, 2020 6:57 am

"You're so lame...you probably think this song is about you,
You're so laame (so lame!)
You probably think this song is about you,
Don't you, DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU?!
"

*violin sounds*

*changes channel*
Click to see factbook entries. Please ignore the income tax rate provided by NS.

Prefers The South Pacific. Spanish is not my native language. I often take things for granted. Green is my favorite color. Collects music CDs. A male who's an almost-libertarian. Nominal non-practicing Protestant. Eh, to heck with it, I'm unaffiliated. Poetaster.
How I found NS. Try not guessing where I reside.
We need to accept that there are things beyond our control.
Also, if having a letter in a flag is a sin, I'm proud to be a vexillographical sinner.

User avatar
Nacrad
Diplomat
 
Posts: 739
Founded: Jan 16, 2020
New York Times Democracy

Postby Nacrad » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:01 am

"Now, back to the Pacific. Experts believe that this will be the most active season yet, with 12 to be hurled at Nacrad, a regional power on par with--"

*Changes channel*
A 14 civilization (6-0-5), according to this index.
Wuhan Pneumonia: Total: 4,328; Recovered: 4,287; Dead: 41; New cases: 0; Active cases: 0 [9 days without new cases]
WAR:Encirclement of Nanchang broken, tactical withdrawal in process
NEWS:09/08/2020 (FRI) | Tactical withdrawal from Nanchang continues | Minister of Foreign Affairs invited to Kergstan for talks | Amoy-Riverfort-Zhamkong Railway Line to undergo upgrades

User avatar
The Posthuman Coalition
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 174
Founded: Sep 19, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby The Posthuman Coalition » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:06 am

"- the search is still on against the "Emperor of Mankind" as Novus Humanitae forces clear out another purported separatist stronghold"

*changes channel*
Last edited by The Posthuman Coalition on Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
-- NOVVS HVMANITAE --
Tier 11, Level 0, Type 9

MANKIND HAS BECOME SEMPITERNAL

User avatar
The Yeetusa
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 109
Founded: Oct 17, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Yeetusa » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:12 am

"Now Phil, how do feel about new hit artist, Lil Wiener Dog, and his new song that is topping the charts, "Rabid Musician"?"

"Well Jake, I feel like that song hit a little close to home. During his concert last month, he revealed he had rabies, as his symptoms started appearing. He was foaming from the mouth and started seeing things, like Elmo from Sesame Street."

"Jake, do you think he got rabies from his dog? Because we have his dog righ-"

The screen quickly cuts away to the Weatherman. In the distance, you can hear screams

*changes channel*
Last edited by The Yeetusa on Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
All posts OOC unless marked otherwise
Stop asking me to get YouTube premium!
Dispatch coming here soon
Proud Member of the Confederation of Corrupt Dictators. Hail the Confederation!

User avatar
Austellusia
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Jun 02, 2020
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Austellusia » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:15 am

"Spicy meatbal-"

*Changes Channel*
We're Posadist Antarctica. We're friends with aliens, the dolphins work for us and in a fight we immediately fire the nukes.
Kind of a Bioshock series/Frostpunk style city-state. We don't use NS stats. If you have any questions/advice please feel free to message them to me
Update: We're gonna start arming the penguins.
We don't make the penguins fight for us, we make them spy for us. It's a big moral difference people.

User avatar
Azerijan
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 3
Founded: Jun 07, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Azerijan » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:16 am

*gibberish*

"Eleungoomtsa3ea...?" [Eləʊŋømjt͡sɑʒɛ̥] (What are they saying...?)

*changes channel*
-Start-
-Azerijan-
-Government=Sultanate+Constitution-
-Religion=Shia-
-Tech=Futuristic-
-End-

User avatar
The Yeetusa
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 109
Founded: Oct 17, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Yeetusa » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:22 am

Do do do do do doodoo do do do do.

I'm Peppa Pi-

*changes channel*
All posts OOC unless marked otherwise
Stop asking me to get YouTube premium!
Dispatch coming here soon
Proud Member of the Confederation of Corrupt Dictators. Hail the Confederation!

User avatar
Mackjaracotavon
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 135
Founded: Jun 23, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Mackjaracotavon » Sat Jun 13, 2020 7:59 am

"'Tis but a scratch!"

"A SCRATCH?! YOUR ARM'S OFF!"

"No it isn't."

"Well, what's that then?!"

"... I've had worse."

"You liar!"

"Come on you pan-"

*changes channel*

(OOC: Guess the reference.)
What is on my nation's front page does not reflect my nation in rp. It follows its own distinct lore that is separate from what is defined by the "issues" choices.

Kingom of Cretia, total monarchy founded in the Middle Ages and remains unchanged to this day.
All factbooks (https://www.nationstates.net/nation=mac ... l=factbook) are works in progress and subject to changes or retcons.

User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10956
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Fatatatutti » Sat Jun 13, 2020 9:54 am

"Alphonse joins the Optimist Club. Fish has tea with the Queen. The Optimist Club becomes pessimistic. Fish dies of caffeine poisoning. The Queen secretly replaces him with a Corgi."

*changes channel*

User avatar
Minskiev
Diplomat
 
Posts: 933
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Sat Jun 13, 2020 9:55 am

“Und zat ich hau ju make ein perfect rizotto. Thanks German Gordon Ramsay! Nein problem. Nau gib clay.”

*changes channel*
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

Most recent best F7 reply:

User avatar
Carrelie
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Feb 21, 2018
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Carrelie » Sat Jun 13, 2020 10:01 am

"GOOOOOOOODD SAAAAAAVE AAAA-"
*changes channel*
THE CARRELIAN EMPIRE
We are infallible
Read up on Our Glorious Empress
CarrelieOne News Her Imperial & Royal Highness passes the Haufenburg Titles Act. The territories of the Grand Prince of Haufeburg are now under temporary imperial administration | HI&RH Ann II announces that she was kidnapped by Johen of Haufenburg's guards | Famous Newhadney Market opens early amid heatwave, streets packed.
Dentricia Weather Today UNBEARABLE temperatures today as harsh heatwave sets in. Remember to get outside frequently and open your windows
4Entertainment News Response to classical music resurgence positive, especially among youth

User avatar
Ubekibekibekibekistanstan
Attaché
 
Posts: 92
Founded: Dec 11, 2016
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Ubekibekibekibekistanstan » Sat Jun 13, 2020 11:00 pm

"Somebody toucha my spaghet!!"

*changes channel*
male, deist
life, socialism, conservatism, direct democracy, proportional representation, capital punishment, bill of rights, third parties, conservationism, immigration, meritocracy, net neutrality, impartiality, welfarism
racism, torture, zionism, electoral college, identity politics, copyright, marijuana bans, closed-mindedness

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 50
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:33 am

Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
"Daniel."
"Daniel who?"
"Daniel Lee."
"I don't get it."
The man proceeds to open the door.
"The door was unlocked you know. How can I help?"
"I was wondering if you can help me."
"Well I'm the city clerk. Ask me anything."
"Can you help me find a good church? "
"There's plenty. You have few in your neighborhood. And why are you looking for one?"
"I done bad things. A police officer told me it'll help. I need to find the church that's a good fit."
"I'd love to help but I oversee the bishops and organizations. But I do know a man who can help. His name is Miguel Cassarubias. He's been to every church in this city. He knows what's a good church and what's bad. But..."
"But?"
"They say he went insane several years ago. No one spoke to him in ages. His home is located in the Southern Area."
"You mean the white area? That's the richest part of the county!That area mainly has Caucasians and Asians making $150,000 and above!"
"Something wrong traveling to there?"
"Nothing."
"Also he has guard dogs. Rottweilers and pit bulls. Only way of contact is knocking on his door since he changed his phone number but he's isolating himself real hard. Hates visitors. Owns a gun. Shotgun. Be careful. I hear he he won't hesitate to shoot to protect himself and ward off trespassers. And even if after that I dunno if wants to help."

One hour later.
Music Funky Town plays.
"So this is the Southern Area. God this part of town looks so eerily off. The shops are different. The feel is different. Ah here's the address!"
Thirty minutes later Daniel fought off fifteen raging hungry Rottweilers and pit bulls that were chasing him and biting off pieces of his clothing.
"Who are you and what ya want? Yelled a man with a shotgun.
"I'm Daniel. I need help."
"I don't want to sign your petition to lower the gas tax! Now get out!"
"No I need help! I need to find a church."
"Go!"
"An officer sent me. I done some real bad things. I need help to find a good church that's right for me."
"Come in then." He lowered the gun.
"So how do I choose a church?"
"One thing. You don't choose a church. The church chooses you."
"I don't get it."
"You don't choose a church based on what you want. The church chooses you. Based on the feeling you get when you enter there. The people you see and the spiritual connection you have with-"

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4967
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:40 am

"debate"

*changes channel*
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Confederatio Germanico
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 6
Founded: Oct 31, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby Confederatio Germanico » Sun Jun 14, 2020 12:02 pm

Here we go here we go here we go!!!
Crack and Hood
Meth is Good
The dead shall rise
Just like my morning woo..

*changes channel*
Last edited by Confederatio Germanico on Sun Jun 14, 2020 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Jutsa
Senator
 
Posts: 4967
Founded: Dec 06, 2015
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Jutsa » Sun Jun 14, 2020 12:06 pm

"I love you, you love me, we're—"

*Throws TV out of the window* *Changes channel*
Here is a list containing a bunch of factbooks I created that are Got Issues? related.
>List of issue ideas
>List of missing issues/options
>List of accepted issues~
^ I know this is hardly a flashy signature, but at least I have one now.

User avatar
Minskiev
Diplomat
 
Posts: 933
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Sun Jun 14, 2020 2:01 pm

And now, the Nations of the World RAP BATTLE, brought to you by DJ Yakko!

“Yo yo America is plump like a plum”
“Canada looks like a thumb”
“Mexico. Wall Wall Taco.”
“Panama has no stock. Though.”
“Haiti, stop the hate. Ee.”
“Jamaican me dinner, please?”
“Peru, it’s hilly and chilly.”
“Republic Dominican, it’s silly.”
“Cuba, surrounded by water, like a scuba”
“Caribbean, where my ex-wife went to with her new boyfriend. Jennifer...what did I do to you?”

*changes channel*


I had to write that cancer, I feel like I just invented a new curse.
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

Most recent best F7 reply:

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 50
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Sun Jun 14, 2020 8:47 pm

"Wanna go to the mall but it's closed?! Wanna travel to another city of your dreams but can't because of Coronavirus? Wanna visit the forest or lakes but your governor says no? Tired of not being able to go bowling with your friends? Then introducing the ALL NEW VR 2000! A virtual reality helmet that lets you experience first hand just like real life in the FULLEST DETAILS IN COLOR POSSIBLE! Travel to Ten Thousand Acorns or the Pourel Mall and meet other people, too in this virtual reality helmet! Experience traveling and shopping like never before!"

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Minskiev
Diplomat
 
Posts: 933
Founded: Apr 20, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Minskiev » Sun Jun 14, 2020 8:58 pm

“Wait a minute...that’s not a goat! That’s Jerry!“

*changes channel*
“Don’t half-a** two things. Whole-a** one thing.”
”I’m here to kick bubblegum and chew a**. And I’m all out of a**.”
The Kyiv Herald: Minskiev’s most reliable information! Current National Focus: Aviation Effort III
Minskievian Brancalanders dressed in Lorax costumes are hugging their local maples| Robotic soldiers are in the testing stage| Sevastopol has been called the “Singapore of the Slavs”
The Sustainable Lumberjack - +11.2%| Slash and Burn Inc. - -35.4%| The Minskievian Robotic Testing Facility - +86.7%| Extremist Boy Scouts - -92.1%| The Sevastopol Tourism Department - +105.3%
Local 3-day Weather in Kyiv: Wed 29: 27°|14°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 12kph| Thu 30: 27°|15°|Partly Cloudy|0% chance|NE 8kph| Fri 31: 27°|15°|Isolated Thunderstorms|30% chance|W 17kph

Most recent best F7 reply:

User avatar
Western Fardelshufflestein
Diplomat
 
Posts: 615
Founded: Apr 21, 2020
New York Times Democracy

Postby Western Fardelshufflestein » Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:07 pm

Mackjaracotavon wrote:"'Tis but a scratch!"

"A SCRATCH?! YOUR ARM'S OFF!"

"No it isn't."

"Well, what's that then?!"

"... I've had worse."

"You liar!"

"Come on you pan-"

*changes channel*

(OOC: Guess the reference.)


Image



"He's a semi-aquatic--"
*Accidentally changes channel*
"--seasick crocodile--"
*Tries to change channel back*
"--loser who should just--"
*Changes channel*
"--Lose eighteen kilos in three mo--"
*Changes channel*
"--ments, the President of France will--"
*Changes channel*
"--find out what it takes to--"
*Changes channel*
"--take over the Tri-State Areaaaaa!"
*Watches Phineas and Ferb*
*Changes channel after four episodes*
QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS
We're not quite sure how it happened, either.

--Tiny Shakespeare-obsessed island nation northeast of New Zealand settled by HRE emigrants who thought they had landed in the West Indies--
--F7 Stuff Largely Not Canon-- --Ignore WMD and Into Space policies-- --RP year is 2020 in real time-- --Ignore Stats-- --Still not Kenneth Branagh--

The Western Fardelshufflestein Sentinel  | 8 August 2020 | King Still Comatose in ICU | Another Video of Parliament Brawl Goes Viral| Florida Man Correctly Pronounces WF's Full Name

A Very Important PSA | National March | King Alastair IV | Things King Alastair is Not Allowed to Do | Latest Alastair Update


User avatar
The Yeetusa
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 109
Founded: Oct 17, 2019
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Yeetusa » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:20 am

Are you a real villian?

Well, technically, ah, na-

*changes channel
All posts OOC unless marked otherwise
Stop asking me to get YouTube premium!
Dispatch coming here soon
Proud Member of the Confederation of Corrupt Dictators. Hail the Confederation!

User avatar
The Arbys Cult
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 2
Founded: Nov 28, 2017
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Arbys Cult » Mon Jun 15, 2020 7:31 am

"Maurice and Cat materialize out of the aether. Fatatatutti knows exactly where this is going, and sues them immediately."

*Changes channel*
Praise be to those who have The Meats™!

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