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CHANGE THE CHANNEL

The place to relax, unwind, share a joke, and generally goof off.

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B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Mon Dec 23, 2019 6:25 pm

"What are you doing?"
"I am building a sculpture."
"Oh wow sounds very nerdy."
Xavier looked back at her.
"And I suppose everything's doing good at school?"
"It's great," she smiled.
"C's on your report card?"
"No actually D's and F's."
"Some record."
"Hi kids," said Paulie.
"Hey mom," waved Xavier and Carlie.
"Anyone know where Mabry is?"
"Oh she should be outside in the yard playing." said Carlie.

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Kczenstan-Germassia
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 2
Founded: Sep 30, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Kczenstan-Germassia » Mon Dec 23, 2019 6:31 pm

As the species, NoobMaster69 slowly sneaks to it's prey, The Obamacubes Lastnameus, The Obamacube starts t-

poof! Obamacube, Hippity hoppity this nation is now my propert-

*channel changes*

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Tue Dec 24, 2019 4:42 pm

"Carlie I'm glad that you came to help with the Feed the Poor cause."
"Oh yay," said a half sarcastic and half resignation.
"Oh here are some people if you need anything call me."
"Ho ho ho," said a guy dressed as Santa,"Donate to help needy children for the holidays,"
"Who are you?" Said a 10 year old boy.
"I'm Santa's elf." Carlie smiled and bending her knees down.
"You look funny. I thought elves are shorter."
"That's why I drink a lot of milk." nodding and smiling.
"Come James, we have to do last minute shopping." said the boy's mom.
"Care to donate?" Said the guy dressed as Santa.
"No," said the mom.
"I think we should give a few spare change," said James.
"Ok fine let's hurry before Abercrombie closes." The two rushed away.
"Oh yay look! It's red fat guy on diabetes and his ugly elf!" yelled a guy across the street.
"Miles," Carlie's face then turned constrained.

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Nooooooooooooooo
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 183
Founded: Oct 18, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby Nooooooooooooooo » Tue Dec 24, 2019 5:07 pm

"Apparently there is an e-mail circulating around that contains a very PG-13 image of me and a woman."

"Jan."

"No Kevin, a woman."

"Maybe Jan. Maybe--"

"Urkel Grue."

*changes channel*

User avatar
Jerzylvania
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10056
Founded: Aug 10, 2016
Father Knows Best State

Postby Jerzylvania » Tue Dec 24, 2019 5:35 pm

"I have faint fragments of things floating through my brain and I can't pull any of them forward, plus I have some of them jumbled up with biodegradable plastic which was mistakenly injected into my breasts... "

*changes channel*
Biden 2020 - Vote for America

Below: Check today's official "new" Jerzylvania anthem choices! Vote for your choice via TG! Lamar Jackson measured in kinetic energy means.... touchdowns, touchdowns, touchdowns!

User avatar
Vulgaro-Graznavian Commonwealth
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 42
Founded: Nov 08, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Vulgaro-Graznavian Commonwealth » Tue Dec 24, 2019 5:37 pm

"KEVIN!!!"


*changes channel*
A slavic union of two technologically medieval nations: Vulgaria and Graznavia living in the other dimension called Bermudinia. One more thing. Don't call me lazy! I just have more important things than NS. And I'm not a furry!
Current year: 7536 (Slavic), 2027 (Christian)
HAPPY NEW SLAVIC YEAR!!!
News: https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1334463

User avatar
Betelgeuse Alliance
Attaché
 
Posts: 72
Founded: Oct 19, 2018
Anarchy

Postby Betelgeuse Alliance » Tue Dec 24, 2019 8:42 pm

''...And here, we see a rare purple with gold-spotted male YEET in its natural habitat.. It is mating season, and we are about to observe the YEET's unique and distinctive mating ritual very soon. The male has been letting out its famous mating call [YEEEET!!! YEEEET!!!] in order to attract females..... C-Come on, why is it taking so long?........ Ah, finally, a female is approaching... They start.. Dancing?.. Damn, they kinda vibin' doe! WAIT, are they examining each other's- ...I-I mean, the ritual has officially begun... The male is now proceeding to... Oh my... uuuhh.. OMG, WHAT THE FU-''

*changes channel*
An intergalactic alliance aiming to protect its own peace and liberty, NOT an empire!
I only use NS Stats very loosely - I mainly use factbooks

_________________________________''We stand united to protect our peace and liberty!''_________________________________
We're pacifist, but we still believe in a military for self-defense!
Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: 1.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -7.69

Pro and Anti:
PRO: Georgism, Bleeding-Heart Libertarianism, Free-Market Capitalism, Environmentalism, Guaranteed Healthcare & Education, LGBT Rights, Free Speech, Democracy, Advancement, Diplomacy
ANTI: Socialism, Communism, Cronyism, Crony Capitalism, Political Correctness, Radical Feminism, Excessive Government Interference, Authoritarian Left & Right, Corruption

User avatar
Boring People
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1609
Founded: Jun 25, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Boring People » Wed Dec 25, 2019 2:13 am

“The best burrito I’ve ever eaten was at a now-closed restaurant in Jackson, Tennessee on a long-haul trucking delivery. It was a life-changing experience. Now all we’re left with is mediocrity!”

*changes channel*

User avatar
Ginicun
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 101
Founded: Jan 23, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Ginicun » Wed Dec 25, 2019 5:00 pm

Boring People wrote:“The best burrito I’ve ever eaten was at a now-closed restaurant in Jackson, Tennessee on a long-haul trucking delivery. It was a life-changing experience. Now all we’re left with is mediocrity!”

*changes channel*

The next channels after me are fucking retards with no standar-
*changes channel*
proud agender gay person. biologically male. they/them is preferred, or he/him if it makes your life easier, though i can get really mad over that.

i'm also a music fan, mainly into progressive/Avant/experimental type stuff.
right-libertarian bordering ancap whos into anarcho-individualism and free-market socialism.

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Wed Dec 25, 2019 5:12 pm

Jumps
"Hey let me see!"
sounds of crowd noises
"I can't see Ariana Grande!! Fuckers move!!!"
the crowd cheers
"Ohhhhhhhh!" Punches a random person.
"Hey, did you punch a girl?"
A few people noticed.
"Uh no."
"Let's get this guy! He's an anti-Arianator!"
"Yeah. "
sounds of stomping and fighting over the guy and yelling for twelve intense minutes

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Pax Somaliana
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 167
Founded: Sep 30, 2014
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pax Somaliana » Thu Dec 26, 2019 1:26 am

“...and now, without further ado, here is the promised jousting on pogo sticks!”
*crowd claps and cheers*

*changes channel*

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Thu Dec 26, 2019 10:53 am

Music turns on as two teen girls dance at a Dutch angle. They go to stores and continue dancing.

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Maineiacs
Negotiator
 
Posts: 6893
Founded: May 26, 2005
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Maineiacs » Thu Dec 26, 2019 11:05 am

"I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world..."

*changes channel*
Economic:-8.12 Social:-7.59 Moral Rules:5 Moral Order:-5
Muravyets: Maineiacs, you are brilliant, too! I stand in delighted awe.
Sane Outcasts:When your best case scenario is five kilometers of nuclear contamination, you know someone fucked up.
Geniasis: Christian values are incompatible with Conservative ideals. I cannot both follow the teachings of Christ and be a Republican. Therefore, I choose to not be a Republican.
Galloism: If someone will build a wall around Donald Trump, I'll pay for it.
Bottle tells it like it is
add 6,928 to post count

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Thu Dec 26, 2019 6:40 pm

"Bigger."
"Better."
"Juicier."
"The all new Supersize Me Diabetes Burger. Loaded with 5,000 calories, this mean baby sports 10lbs of triple beef sizzled with juice and sauce, tomatoes, onions, and lettuce. Comes with crunchy salty fries and Supersize Me Horchata for only 9.99."

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
The Aziran Islands
Secretary
 
Posts: 27
Founded: Jun 05, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby The Aziran Islands » Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:03 pm

Do you suffer from chronic back pain or something? Ask your doctor or back-alley drug dealer if Lexitylotamiax is right for you! Lexitylotamiax uses Mystical Science Juice™ to make your body not suck. . . somehow.

Studies by leading experts living in dumpsters behind Taco Bells found that taking Lexitylotamiax can make your body do a thing at a time! Buy your Lexitylotamiax Pain-Away Starter Pack for only $750,000 in America or $7.50 elsewhere! Side effects may include sneezing, a persistent dry cough, insomnia, projectile vomiting, heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure, hip failure, dysentery, and a mild rash! If you experience any of these symptoms, keep taking Lexitylotamiax, as these symptoms are caused by Satan attempting to get you to stop taking Lexitylotamiax: End The Suffering.

*changes channel*

User avatar
Pavonistade
Minister
 
Posts: 2788
Founded: Jan 26, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Pavonistade » Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:06 pm

"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you..."

*changes channel*
Political Compass:
Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.97
President: Calvin Elmore
Vice President: Otakta Sgriki
IIwiki | Glossary | I don't use NS stats
[NEWS] Pavonistadian researchers make breakthrough in Terahertz wave generation and modulation | Selective screening protocols in place amid coronavirus concerns | "The USA is the greatest threat to Pavonistadian security," states interior minister

User avatar
Archipielago de Filipinas
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 22
Founded: Apr 15, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Archipielago de Filipinas » Fri Dec 27, 2019 10:33 am

"One last trip..."
unkown metallic clicks
"to Flavortown."

*hastily changes channel*
An archipelago but inhabited by English-speaking culturally-Indic Austronesians with names of Spanish and American origin, fond of eating Chinese cuisine. Indeed a land of Mr. And Ms. Worldwides.
Pro: Marxism-Maoism, Palestine, LGBTQ+, Christian socialism, humanism, procrastination
Anti: Nationalism, New Society (Marcos), Filipino liberals, religious conservatism, Hong Kong protests, procrastination

The United Communes of the Philippines | Thou shalt get flex't with mine boppin' military unis
HEADLINES: Revolutionary Party concludes last Assembly meeting ahead of National Proclamation | Doctrinal reforms implemented for AFP Special Forces Command | More than 6,000 Chinese illegal workers deported by PNP | Health Board begins early test distribution of new anti-dengue pills

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Fri Dec 27, 2019 6:50 pm

"Why are you in the girls restroom?"
"This is the men's restroom."
"No look it's female."
"Both of you are wrong it's for lesbian, gay, and transgender so anyone who identifies as any gender male, female, or transgender can go."
"..."
"Oh god there's a girl in the same restroom as me! "

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Fatatatutti
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10956
Founded: Jun 02, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Fatatatutti » Sat Dec 28, 2019 10:14 am

"Tonight on FatatatuTV, Fish builds a model of the Titanic; Alphonse parks his dynamite truck in the living room...."

*another re-run?*

*changes channel*

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Sat Dec 28, 2019 6:43 pm

"Ok so should like I go for the trim cut or the long hair? Carlie?"
Carlie stares dreamily at a distance.
"Hello?" Hannah waving her hand at her face.
"Oh yeah the red one."
"What are you looking at?"
"That cute boy. He's so hot and he is like one of the most popular boys in school."

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Sun Dec 29, 2019 1:47 pm

"Remember folks I was your best professor! So please give me an A so they won't fire me!!"
"Aren't you supposed to be outside the classroom so you won't influence how we evaluate you?"

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

User avatar
Jerzylvania
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10056
Founded: Aug 10, 2016
Father Knows Best State

Postby Jerzylvania » Mon Dec 30, 2019 3:01 pm

"clap on, clap off... clap on clap off ...The Clap..."

*Changes Channel*
Biden 2020 - Vote for America

Below: Check today's official "new" Jerzylvania anthem choices! Vote for your choice via TG! Lamar Jackson measured in kinetic energy means.... touchdowns, touchdowns, touchdowns!

User avatar
95X
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1244
Founded: Sep 30, 2004
Capitalist Paradise

Re: Change the Channel

Postby 95X » Tue Dec 31, 2019 2:47 am

"It's time for New Year's Rock—"

*Changes channel*
Nation not my RL views, etc.
Poe's Law. Nonpartisan.
Atlantian Oceania. The Place.
“An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.”—Niels Bohr
‘Everyone makes mistakes, that's why they put erasers at the end of pencils.’—Bob Monkhouse paraphrase
“If you want to read books, read books.”—Dennis James
“Sanity loss has its benefits”—Decoherent
AOCAF 22 & 47 Champions! • Volleyball World Expo 1, 2, 4, 7 & 9 Champions!

User avatar
Satanic Atheists
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 151
Founded: Oct 10, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Satanic Atheists » Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:38 am

Store Clerk: It turns out this item is 10% off today.
Customer: Ave Satanas!

*changes channel*

User avatar
B o r o v a n
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 57
Founded: Jul 20, 2019
Father Knows Best State

Postby B o r o v a n » Tue Dec 31, 2019 1:32 pm

Country Trekker starts now

"Hello all my name is Allison McGellar and I am your host for the show. This episode we will be embarking on a trip to Colorodo's most spectacular sights following a seven day journey. I know you're in a real treat and it seems like I'm lost!" crying out in the middle of the red canyon."

Map of Colorodo
"Our first trip takes us on the Villa de Norte where the population is 20,000. It's a relatively quiet town but with a mix of historic, commercial and tourist sites."

*changes channel*
STRONGLY ANTI ESTABLISHMENT AND ANTI MERITOCRACY

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