Ram's Head Saloon [Mod-Sanctioned C/CLT, v3]

[Greater South]

"Well, howdy-doody, it's fine." He said, pulling out 10 Confederate dollars for a drink. "I've got it all right here."

[Higher Japan]

As the empress sat in the middle of the room, the grandfather clock suddenly blew up as she sighed. "The higher powers have spoken, the universe itself has been blown apart in some sectors."

[Greater South]

Dell turned around and looked skeptically at the Empress. He and his guards simply laughed at this.

"Wow, a little manufacturin' error, and you presume that the whole darn universe has blown apart? How much have you been drinkin', ma'am?" He said as he got up from the chair while waiting for his drink to come around

[Kyoki Chudoku]

"Can't the universe keep itself together for five seconds without some problem? Well anyway. Anyone want a free cookie? Nobody will take it will they? Ugh, I'm kinda frustrated right now."

[Higher Japan]

"There's only one reason for the clock to blow up. Chill and chat threads are now under a permanent ban."

[Kyoki Chudoku]

"Well...that's unfortunate...hang on what does that actually- I can't be bothered questioning the meaning of this. I've decided that the universe makes no sense anyway."

[Greater South]

"When you think about it, none of this makes sense." Dell said, pouring himself another. "I mean, think about it, how did we even get here in the first place? We've got entirely different worlds! You've probably conquered all your own, an' I'm just fine down in the south. I don't even have the technology or power to cross dimensions so unless someone pushed me in a portal an' I didn't know it, I have no IDEA how I got here?

[Higher Japan]

"I've already broken the fourth wall so many times that i'm also written as a gag that is sub consciously aware that i am being written sub consciously aware and yeah you get the idea."

[Greater South]

Dell had staggered back for a moment before giving a hundred-yard stare for a moment.

"O-oh my... This world... it... I-I-I need some more drinks..." Dell said as he downed the entire bottle.

His guards had concernedly looked on at Dell as he went into deep thought.
"Yeah, we'll just have mineral water."

[Kyoki Chudoku]

"When you think about it, none of this makes sense." Dell said, pouring himself another. "I mean, think about it, how did we even get here in the first place? We've got entirely different worlds! You've probably conquered all your own, an' I'm just fine down in the south. I don't even have the technology or power to cross dimensions so unless someone pushed me in a portal an' I didn't know it, I have no IDEA how I got here?

"Ha! I wish I'd conquered my own. On one hand, I have to deal with constant issues and a bunch of complete idiots constantly, and on the other hand, I have to worry giant galactic empires and...this universe is a crazy place."

"I've already broken the fourth wall so many times that i'm also written as a gag that is sub consciously aware that i am being written sub consciously aware and yeah you get the idea."

"Goodness that sounds confusing."

[Harmonic Empire]

*rolling on the floor*

"Can you guys help me?? Im running out of ideas!"

[Greater South]

Dell and the guardslook on to the dictator rolling around on the floor.

"Ideas on what? How to run a country, pardner? I could sure give y'all a hand!" Dell and the guards simply laughed.

[Harmonic Empire]

Dell and the guardslook on to the dictator rolling around on the floor.

"Ideas on what? How to run a country, pardner? I could sure give y'all a hand!" Dell and the guards simply laughed.

"Nah Dumbass, should i repeat this i am not godf***** dictator?!!? over and over again?!?!"

[Greater South]

Dell placed down his drink.

"Woah there, little miss empress, no need to get all pissy 'bout a lil' calculation error there! After all, not ALL of us can be perfect." He said, continuing to have his drink.

[San Lumen]

"Breaking people? What on earth do you mean?"

'Hurt them.'

"Oh I see. Well you;ll find that difficult given my abilities." Leo replied.

[Low bloods]

'Hurt them.'

"Oh I see. Well you;ll find that difficult given my abilities." Leo replied.

"How so?" Vixen poked into the conversation as he sat up from behind the counter

[Third Kingdom]

'There is 5436 ways to hurt someone, well those that I found and done.'

[Greater South]

Dell continued drinking "Actually, there's 5437 if y'all count slicing open a man's torso and hanging him with his own consarned intestines." He angrily and drunkenly said from his mouth.

The guard comforted him "Eh, sir, I think you've had too much to drink..."

[Low bloods]

"Boredom." Vixen blankly stares at a wall, eventually letting out a yawn at some point.

[Greater South]

Dell got up and approached Vixen.
"Well, if y'all are bored, we could play cards or somethin'." He implied.

[Low bloods]

Dell got up and approached Vixen.
"Well, if y'all are bored, we could play cards or somethin'." He implied.

"I would take you up on that offer but I suck at cards." He nods "Either way I'm Vixen,a pleasure to meet you."

[Greater South]

Dell stood straight and shook Vixen's hand with pleasure. "The name's Dell Conagher, Overseer and President of the Greater South. And these drunken robots behind me are my guards in case anything crazy happens. Yeah, I know, steampunk guards aren't as beefy as y'all thought, but I had to make do with what I had! Besides, I wanna at least keep some humanity in these guys, they're like my family." He said, turning to his guards.

[Low bloods]

Dell stood straight and shook Vixen's hand with pleasure. "The name's Dell Conagher, Overseer and President of the Greater South. And these drunken robots behind me are my guards in case anything crazy happens. Yeah, I know, steampunk guards aren't as beefy as y'all thought, but I had to make do with what I had! Besides, I wanna at least keep some humanity in these guys, they're like my family." He said, turning to his guards.

"I'm not so much of a ruler, but more a bystander here. Been here since the beginning, definitely seen some things." He noticed the guards mentioned "Did you build them yourself?"

[Greater South]

"In a way, I kinda did. I built the prototype for these guys way back in 1983. Now, these guys are mass produced at the hundreds of thousands. I only built the first 100 robots myself until they had the capability to build themselves. Although I'm not sure which series these guys were..." He said.
He motioned to the guards "Hey, y'all, can ya take off your hats so I can read the serial numbers?" The guards looked at each other, and then detatched their hats, revealing a flat mound, painted to look like hair. Dell analyzed in inside of these hats closely, then gave them back.

"One of them's a #356, which is a mass produced one, while the other was #076, an original. Strange, though. I never saw an original be ranked as a guard. Usually they're more like generals." Dell continued sipping his beer. "So, magic man, what's it like back home?'

[Low bloods]

"In a way, I kinda did. I built the prototype for these guys way back in 1983. Now, these guys are mass produced at the hundreds of thousands. I only built the first 100 robots myself until they had the capability to build themselves. Although I'm not sure which series these guys were..." He said.
He motioned to the guards "Hey, y'all, can ya take off your hats so I can read the serial numbers?" The guards looked at each other, and then detatched their hats, revealing a flat mound, painted to look like hair. Dell analyzed in inside of these hats closely, then gave them back.

"One of them's a #356, which is a mass produced one, while the other was #076, an original. Strange, though. I never saw an original be ranked as a guard. Usually they're more like generals." Dell continued sipping his beer. "So, magic man, what's it like back home?'

"I'm a traveler, I never had a real home, for too long that is." He shrugged and chuckles.

"If you're referring to me." The king of corpses woke up about a booth length away "Calm, it's been quite the while since I've had any try to kill me, from the usual blood bath."