CHANGE THE CHANNEL

[New Kowloon Bay]

*Welcome back to World's Worst Bunkers' today we are reviewing this German Moon Base, looks pretty scruf-*

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

Patron: "I'm having a crisis of faith."

Priest: "That sounds quite serious."

Patron: "Oh, it is. Yesterday, I had an experience that rocked my faith to the core, and I'm questioning all that I've ever known."

Priest: "Well tell me what happened."

Patron: "The cashier at Arby's got my order wrong."

*Changes channel*

[Parkiant]

Teacher:So class,how many are 2+2?
student:22.
Teacher:No,no,no,On + counts you should Increase the....bla bla bla.
*Class fall sleep*
Teacher:Class?
Student:the..answer...is 4.
Teacher:right,so how many Is...
CHANGES CHANNEL!

[Kingentand]

Welcome,now we will talk about:
Why Capitalism Is better than socialism and communi-
Change channel.

[Fatatatutti]

"Tonight on Baking With Alphonse, special guest Napoleon Bonaparte helps Alphonse make croissants.... Special appearance by Fish as Admiral Yamamoto."

*changes channel*

[Imperial States of Duotona]

"So all McKeel needs to do is have a clean putt for birdie and he'll be in first posi-"

*changes channel*

[Esthe]

“Oh, I’ve got something for the Greatest World Newspaper nerds—”
*weirded out, changes channel*

[Inner Planets]

"Positivity is fundamental. You need to be better at-"
*changes channel*

[Parkiant]

Empaty,somethin that-
*Changes channel*

[Parkiant]

"Chimpanzees are absolutely fascinating beings, but I shouldn't get too close because one killed my wife in cold blood and told me he would kill again. Oh, one seems to be approa- it has a knife. The chimpanzee has a-" *scream*

*Changes channel*

Hey,why you changed?
Skip me/

[Cynetia]

"...runs on four legs, but unfortunately, it has no-"
*changes channel*

[Palins]

"Yesh. Dash wut wee deed!"

*changes channel*

[Imperial States of Duotona]

"-so we have here prepared a bunch of ripe strawb-"

*changes channel*

[Narland]

Hospital room with battered patient on life support, in traction and wrapped in bandages covering his face and body. He is barely conscious. A beeping monitor is in background.

Doctor in lab coat holding clipboard enters room.

Patient (barely above a whisper): Doctor, where am I?

Doctor: Your at Port Charles General, eighth floor. My name is Dr. Britt Westbourne. We tried to identify you, but you do not seem to be in any database. May I ask who you are?

Patient: My name is Bruce. Would you please call one Alfred Pennyworth for me?

Doctor with an gleeful evil grin: I cannot do that until we verify that you have the right insurance. <suspenseful music plays in the background>>

Announcer: We will return to the NCIS / DCU / General Hospital Crossover Special after a word from our desperate network tv sponsor...

click...

[95X]

Narrator, while seemingly random images appear on screen; "Your hopes, your dreams, your passions. None of them mean anything to anyone else!"

*changes channel*

Narrator, as someone is walking onto a set; "this is the plaintiff, Harriet Harrison, who says her hair was messed up by her former stylist, so she's suing—"

*changes channel to some channel with dry filler content, but just to find out what happened, changed back about ten minutes later to see a woman judge saying something:*

"Y'know what happened when my people messed up my hair only minutes before a taping? We laughed it off and fixed it up in such a way it looked like a shorter cut than usual! And the shows with that haircut had great ratings and even better social media response! We received letters from people with hair loss, thanking me for supporting their situation! Next time consider the positives that can happen! Case dismissed!"

*changes channel*

[The Arbys Cult]

Press secretary: "We are fully aware of the current global thermonuclear war, but I assure you our nation is safe."

Journalist: "And how can you be so confident that we are safe?"

Press secretary: "We didn't accept the invitation."

Journalist: "But wars aren't a thing you just get invited to."

Press secretary: "Well, we were invited to this war, and we didn't accept. Therefore we're safe."

Journalist: "Bu—"

Press secretary: "WE'RE SAFE! Next question!"

*Changes channel*

[Qhevak]

"Welcome back to the 7+1 Club, where today we'll be discussing how to identify agents of the Demiurge in your"
*Changes channel*

[Fatatatutti]

"Alphonse escapes from the Prison for the Criminally Insane and arrives at the studio just in time to tape another episode of Baking With Criminally Insane Alphonse. Rasputin helps him make Cyanide and .44 Magnum Surprise. Several audience members try to sneak out...."

*changes channel*

[The Vessels Resurgent]

"Why should we wait for global warming to kill us? I ain't no bitch. I'm gonna go wake up Cthulhu. I got an alarm and if that don't work, a trumpet. Things are boutta get SPICY-"

*changes channel*

[Alaska Hawaii and the Aleutes]

"Wait, who invited bigfoot here-"

*changes channel

[Celestial American Republic]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAND we're back to FIND THE COMMUNIST!"

changes channel

[Sladski]

"Hello guys welcome back to our Nationstates gameplay today were gonna try to become a socialist sta-"

*changes channel, but because sladski is ruled by 4 people, they all change the channel at once causing 4 channels to be skipped.*

"Guys, were at McDona-"

*changes channel accidentally*

"Lets go, NI-"

*changes channel accidentally again*

"Why did you make me d-"

*changes channel accidentally for the last time*

[Deblar]

”So if you’re watching this in Saudi Arabia,- *W H E E Z E*”

*changes channel*

[The Batavia]

"You don't decontanime- *starts speaking Japanese*"

*Changes channel*

[Val Grazia]

"This is the Carolinan News Network. What the WORLD is watching!"

*Changes channel*