The New 3WB

[Blood Wine]

Drac wanders in, orders a drink ,sits down and ponders for a minute

Why is defending literal nazi's suddenly so popular?, he thought to himself

The only reasonable answer was because the the community needed more targets, and those pleasant people over at KR were happy to lend a hand

Who's up for NS's greatest gameshow, bash the fash?

[The Atlae Isles]

"Well done breaking the Security Council princess." said the Ambassador from Wrapper.

...

(OOC, I'm really terrible at this :/)

OOC: That's all right, I was terrible at this too back when I started. Some advice for the future: avoid taking control of other players' characters unless you have their permission to do so. You can observe their behavior as written in other posts, but making words come out of their mouths is considered godmodding and generally impolite.

IC: Deputy Rep. Holt awakens from what feels like a year-long hibernation. He turns his head slowly, taking in the room. "There are...people here? Other people? When did this happen?"

“Who...are...you...?” Williamson managed to croak out. Maybe it was just the amount of alcohol in his system, but he DEFINITELY didn’t remember them being here.

[Wallenburg]

OOC: That's all right, I was terrible at this too back when I started. Some advice for the future: avoid taking control of other players' characters unless you have their permission to do so. You can observe their behavior as written in other posts, but making words come out of their mouths is considered godmodding and generally impolite.

IC: Deputy Rep. Holt awakens from what feels like a year-long hibernation. He turns his head slowly, taking in the room. "There are...people here? Other people? When did this happen?"

“Who...are...you...?” Williamson managed to croak out. Maybe it was just the amount of alcohol in his system, but he DEFINITELY didn’t remember them being here.

"I'm the unfortunate soul who has been tasked with representing Wallenburg in the less prestigious wing of the World Assembly. At least the alcohol is cheaper here, but that hardly makes up for the sort of legislation I have to put up with." Holt orders a drink and continues his rant. "Do you know that my boss, Representative Ogenbond, takes all the credit for everything I do? He even puts his name on my formal opinions. Or, at least, the ones he bothers to publish. His record keeping is a mess. Would you like a drink on me? No, perhaps not, we mustn't make poor choices. At least, none poorer than putting ourselves through the hell that is this legislative body."

[The Puddle Jumping Wads of Wrapper]

"Well done breaking the Security Council princess." said the Ambassador from Wrapper.

Turning towards the table, the princess smiled as she answered in a sultry voice. "Sometimes things must be broken before they are considered in need of fixing, Ambassador. Fear not, I see bright days ahead for the Security Council." With that the Princess turned away and started to make her way to the bar, where she ordered a glass of their finest wine vintage.

(Wad Ahume, the former assistant to the former ambassador of Wrapper, sliently nods, then presses a few buttons on the tablet attached to his wrist. In a moment, he disappears in a brilliant beam of light.)

Some advice for the future: avoid taking control of other players' characters unless you have their permission to do so. You can observe their behavior as written in other posts, but making words come out of their mouths is considered godmodding and generally impolite.

Indeed. But I'll let it go this time.

[Consular]

"I'm the unfortunate soul who has been tasked with representing Wallenburg in the less prestigious wing of the World Assembly. At least the alcohol is cheaper here, but that hardly makes up for the sort of legislation I have to put up with." Holt orders a drink and continues his rant. "Do you know that my boss, Representative Ogenbond, takes all the credit for everything I do? He even puts his name on my formal opinions. Or, at least, the ones he bothers to publish. His record keeping is a mess. Would you like a drink on me? No, perhaps not, we mustn't make poor choices. At least, none poorer than putting ourselves through the hell that is this legislative body."

"It may be cheaper, but I'm pretty sure it's also watered down." Faber took a glass from atop the counter, and warily eyed it for cleanliness. He started to wipe down the inside with a handkerchief. "I mean that literally but it's also an apt metaphor."

[Wallenburg]

"It may be cheaper, but I'm pretty sure it's also watered down." Faber took a glass from atop the counter, and warily eyed it for cleanliness. He started to wipe down the inside with a handkerchief. "I mean that literally but it's also an apt metaphor."

"All the better for me. For all its faults, the Security Council has never given me methanol poisoning. I can't say the same for some ambassadors on the other end of the campus."

[Consular]

"All the better for me. For all its faults, the Security Council has never given me methanol poisoning. I can't say the same for some ambassadors on the other end of the campus."

Faber now turned his attention with relative disinterest to the various beers on tap, and more or less abandoned the metaphor. "The last time I walked into the General Assembly, Auralia was up to something." He couldn't remember what it was for the life of him, though he did recall arguing against it. "I assume they're still up to something. There aren't enough hours in the day to argue against everyone."

OOC: Just browsing your "Some Memorable NS Moments" compendium and cringing. I could only look at half or so before I had to stop.

[Unibot III]

"It may be cheaper, but I'm pretty sure it's also watered down." Faber took a glass from atop the counter, and warily eyed it for cleanliness. He started to wipe down the inside with a handkerchief. "I mean that literally but it's also an apt metaphor."

"All the better for me. For all its faults, the Security Council has never given me methanol poisoning. I can't say the same for some ambassadors on the other end of the campus."

A curious look coloured Eduard''s face as he ease-dropped; he turned to Mr. Sprinkles, a spray bottle he had recruited as his special assistant: "Did I ever get methanol poisoning?"

The rest of the Three Walled Bar's patrons watched uncomfortably as Eduard continued his one-sided conversation with a spray bottle.

"You're right," says Eduard, "it was ethanol. That was the noughties for you."

He shivers as the wind pours in through the tarps acting as the bar's fourth wall.

"It might be sacrilegious to say but some days I'd paid for that fourth wall myself," says Eduard, eyeing the tarps with indignation.

"Yes, Mr. Sprinkles - I'm fully aware that I could just get myself unbanned from the Strangers Bar," says Eduard pointedly, "but that was MY urine and they had absolutely no right, NO RIGHT, to touch my urine. I clearly marked my bar fridge. BIO-HAZARDOUS MATERIAL - EDUARD HEIR. PISS OFF. Can't a WA ambassador micro-finance his heroin addiction with a simple side business these days?"

The wind blows through again, prompting Eduard to stand up and toss his glass at the tarped wall. "COOLLLL YOUR JETS, WIND. A LAD IS TRYING TO DRINK HERE," he yells at the wall angrily.

The rest of the bar averts their eyes from the scene, pretending not to take notice of a founding member's increasingly volatile senility.

[Wallenburg]

Representative Ogenbond enters the bar, eyeing its patrons with suspicion and keeping his right hand close to his sidearm. An intern stands next to him, eyeing the patrons even more intently, his hands trembling as the two Wallenburgians cross the threshold.

"Is it really safe to be so far from the office? This isn't even the right part of the headquarters..." says the intern quietly.

"Don't be absurd. We have business here. And this bar is equipped with the same nullifiers that the Strangers' Bar has." Ogenbond glances at his sidearm for a moment. "I think. Ah, there's Holt."

Ogenbond and the intern walk to Deputy Rep. Holt. Extending a thin manila folder to him, he says, "It's been a while, Mr. Holt. How's the Security Council treating you?"

Holt sneers dismissively, "I haven't been defenestrated, and the alcohol isn't going to kill me, so I suppose it isn't too bad. Hows your pampered ass back at the main office?"

"Busy," responds Ogenbond, opening the folder for Holt. "The Council is concerned about our stance on these recent liberations. In the event that an intervention becomes necessary to stabilize any of our neighbors, we don't want to be seen opposing invasions of fascistic regions on contradictory grounds."

"So you want me to vote for these invasions?" asks Holt, raising his eyebrow.

"Oh, swebano! This hardly requires such a drastic change in policy. Just...rephrase your opposition. After all, this is not really an issue of ideological rights and freedom of ideas, but rather an issue of territorial sovereignty. You understand me, yes?"

Holt nods cautiously. "I'll telegraph the next opinion to your office. Let me know what you think before the vote ends, please?"

"Of course. Come on, Virnet, let's go." Ogenbond and the intern make their way out of the bar, beginning their long walk back to the other side of the WA headquarters.

[Kuriko]

Empress Kuriko walked into the Three Walled Bar, where the rest of the universe's WA representatives to the SC have bottles and drinks in hand after a hard days work. Looking around, Kuriko decides to head over to the bar to buy a drink.

"I wonder," she thought out loud while waiting for a drink,"Are these fascists ever going to give up this nonsense and admit defeat?"

[Sefy the Great]

Empress Kuriko walked into the Three Walled Bar, where the rest of the universe's WA representatives to the SC have bottles and drinks in hand after a hard days work. Looking around, Kuriko decides to head over to the bar to buy a drink.

"I wonder," she thought out loud while waiting for a drink,"Are these fascists ever going to give up this nonsense and admit defeat?"

The Greatian Delegate was just like All Greatian Delegates before him- half stoned, quarter sarcastic, sixth annoyed and sixth violent. he was, at that point, digging into a some pork ribs, which was, for the merit, slightly better then sculling German beer by the second.
"they've got no reason too, for a start. and they're all a bunch of darn cornered rats anyway. why admit defeat when you can fight until there's no blood left in any veins on earth?"

[Lord Dominator]

Dee stretches, before realizing she is in the wrong building

"My my, waking up elsewhere is certainly not my usual way."

she looks up, sees the sign for the bar, and snorts

"Figures the little gnome bastards would drag me off here. Well, that whole index of passed resolutions is updated for whatever dreck are still in here."

she leans back in her chair, sipping her beer that the gnomes at least brought with

[Borovan entered the region as he]

"Ooh look who's part of the WA cliche!" said a guy in the bar.
"We're not part of-"
"Uh huh I think my friend here has something in his throat," he then stamped on his foot.
"Ooof!"
"What's it like being in this WA seekrit cliche. Is it true that the a secret group of less than 12 peop- err- nations of super delegates control the WA?!! I heard that WALL with just one finger can can determine whether a resolution will pass or fail with no one noticing!" The guy said excitingly,"is it, is it, is it, is it, is it, is it," sounding like some guy from a television show.
"I wish, nope the delegates-"
"Hi, but are you gonna order something? You can't be here if you're not a customer."
"Three coronas for me and one miller lite for my pal."
"Nope they all vote different sometimes no super elite WA illuminati."

[Kuriko]

Empress Kuriko glances over at the ambassador of Borovan.

"Excuse me Ambassador, but I do believe you and your colleague may be wrong about one point. SIEGE doesn't exist, at all."

[Borovan entered the region as he]

Empress Kuriko glances over at the ambassador of Borovan.

"Excuse me Ambassador, but I do believe you and your colleague may be wrong about one point. SIEGE doesn't exist, at all."

"Oops my mistake. I'll correct that."

[Praeceps]

Empress Kuriko glances over at the ambassador of Borovan.

"Excuse me Ambassador, but I do believe you and your colleague may be wrong about one point. SIEGE doesn't exist, at all."

"That's what they want you to think."

[Unibot III]

Ambassador Marguerite Wager-Freeman entered the bar with a confidence that quickly soured to caution, then visible disgust, as she saw the appalling condition of the public house.

She caught a whiff of black mold - ugh - and pried her heels from the gummy floor. Percy, her aide, trailed behind her, carrying a full bouquet of roses.

Marguerite clicked her fingers at Cedric: "You there, servant - a cosmopolitian." Percy mouthed "Red Wine" to Cedric behind her back.

"Why would anyone visit such an disgusting place anyways?" said Marguerite, lighting a cigarette casually.

"Nobody does, unless your budget is cut," said Percy.

Marguerite approached her late brother's memorial in the corner of the bar - a humble cross marked "Pascal Wager. 1971-2010," and his favourite deerstalker hat. "This it?" she asked. Percy nodded. She looked on with a despondent gaze.

Percy bent down and laid the roses beside the memorial.

Marguerite's cellphone interrupted this solemn moment of reflection with a pop song ringtone. "Hello?" she said to his phone. "Josie! The reception is awful in this place. Listen Josie, I am going to be straight with you: I am not happy with the tickets you've booked... Please, save your apologies."

"If I am going to attend the Esthetisch - the most acclaimed fashion show in Stash Kroh - I am not going to be sitting in the third row, do you understand me? I am not third row. I am first row. I don't care about COVID-19 distancing measures. I have never been more disappointed ... yes, talk with Klaas ... get back to me when you have the new tickets."

Watching this one-sided conversation unfold, the life slowly left Percy's eyes... profound professional regret for the direction of his career metastasized through him on a molecular level. He could only hope this ambassador wouldn't last as long as Pascal had.

[Unibot III]

In a desperate attempt to find some solace and escape from the madness outside, Dr. Orford broke through the busted door, leaving a swirl of pink health notices in its wake.

His entrance disturbed the dust that had collected over the years.

Dr. Orford wasn’t sure if the Third Walled Bar was open, relocated, closed, or shut down by the health authorities — a common rumour was that Cedric had run off with a mistress.

The pub looked just like the first day he remembered drinking there, mind you it looked positively derelict by that point too. Tarps were draped over the far wall. Broken glass lay on the ground. Vandals had since spray-painted graffiti across the walls— “DOWN WITH RULE FOUR ONE,” “GATESVILLE FOREVER,” “SOVCON WAS HERE.”

It wasn’t the most inviting of watering holes, but at least the taps still worked.

[West Barack and East Obama]

Dr Justin Obama walked into the bar. "Ow!! Another bar?? How many bars are in this goddamn World Assembly HQ??"

[Simone Republic]

The Bear walks by on its way to the SC, having just voted through another resolution in the GA, and notices that the Bar is pretty quiet these days.

"Strange...," the Bear thinks to itself. "Especially as the alcohol here is considerably cheaper than the Strangers' Bar, even given its limited selection."

[Simone Republic]

The Bear walks by again. "Maybe I should start a barbecue here as well" and proceeds to start grilling chickens.

[The Ambis]

The Ambis’s ambassador Seamus walks by and sees the bear grilling chicken.
“Can I have some?” He asks

[Simone Republic]

The Bear asks an assistant to send trays of grilled chicken to the ambassador Seamus from The Ambis.

And now, the Bear immediately jacks up the price of its vast inventory of World Assembly Official Merchandise and starts hawking merchanise in the 3WB as well. "The cheap ones obviously," the Bear murmurs to itself. "Running security in this place costs far more than the Strangers Bar."

[Simone Republic]

Some (human) researchers from the Simone Republic WA delegation arrive at the new 3WB to research the folklore of the 3WB over the last decades or so. The bear returns to the Strangers Bar to sell merchandise.

[Unibot III]

Some (human) researchers from the Simone Republic WA delegation arrive at the new 3WB to research the folklore of the 3WB over the last decades or so. The bear returns to the Strangers Bar to sell merchandise.

Trailing behind the delegation was Vice Ambassador Miriam Vidal who entered the Three Walled Bar with great suspicion: she had always passed by the bar, believing it to be closed.

As Miriam pushed the door open, a gust of wind carried the dust and inspection notices across the floor like a rolling tumbleweed. She found the bar, dark, filthy and despondent; a jukebox played slow, somber ballads over the sound of rats scurrying and mugs clinking. No one seemed to speak a word, patrons — the real diehards — had taken to the bartop, sipping their drinks alone.

Miriam took a seat beside an old-timer with a great, bushy moustache.

“Slow day, eh?” she said to the ambassador.
He looked up from his whiskey sour, slightly bewildered. “Snowday!? Is it snowing that bad?”
“It’s … September?” said Miriam.
“Ah,” said the man with a confused look, “I reckoned it might be yes, perhaps.”
Miriam raised an eyebrow.

The man reached out to shake Miriam’s hand, “my name is Mandrake, Vice Ambassador for Unibot.”

“… ? I’m Vice Ambassador for Unibot!?” Miriam shot back.
“Says who?” said Mandrake.
“Says everyone,” said Miriam. “I’ve never heard of you.”
“I keep a low profile, but I always have my ear to the ground,” said Mandrake, knocking on the bartop to symbolize his outreach. “I leave the resolution stuff to my boss, Eddy. But I’m proud to be a part of the team.”

Mandrake stood up from his barstool, swelling with national pride as he broke into a monologue for all to hear: “We may be a small country,” he said, “but our commendation signals the overwhelming international respect we have cultivated as a force for good in our lives!”

Miriam was speechless, stuttering over her response as Mandrake continued undeterred.

“When many nations are content to stand idly by, offering uninformed pablum, the Unibotian nation is proud to enter every discussion as a valued contributor! A vital, active player on the world stage — respected by all!” said Mandrake.

“How many rules are there in the Security Council?” asked Miriam.
“Three! I’ll never accept the fourth,” said Mandrake.
“What do you think of Balder?” said Miriam.
“Some men look great bald,” said Mandrake.
“Who’s the greatest threat to TNP today?” asked Miriam.
“Durkadurkiranistan, of course!” said Mandrake, bemused.

Miriam was flabbergasted.

“How long have you been here … drinking?” she asked.
Mandrake hesitated to answer, his voice faltering: “Errr— December?”
“What year is it?” said Miriam.
“This year?” said Mandrake, stalling — Miriam nodded, and he replied, nervously: “Errr, I dunno? 2010? Is that right?”
Miriam looked at him in total disbelief.
“That’s the right answer? Right!?” said Mandrake.