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[PASSED!] Commend Valentine Z

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 9:42 pm
by The Ice States
As written, this draft is just below the character limit -- specifically seven 45 25 nine 24 48 10 12 characters down. I think Valentine's achivement throughout NS -- especially in Forum 7, Got Issues, and the roleplaying community -- speaks for itself and is definitely deserving of this -- feedback would be immensely valued.

The World Assembly,

Highlighting that countless communities and nations have benefitted from the incredible contribution of Valentine Z, a feline-filled utopia holding one of the most positive, tactful and talented populaces (consistently ranked by the World Census as among the most inclusive, compassionate and nice),

Examining the origins of Valentine Z in the Seventh Hall, an area of the international forums where ambassadors from across the world interact through regular games, contests, and discussions; Valentian representatives have been positive, welcoming, and renowned participants in the Seventh Hall, having successfully

  • managed many noteworthy discussions, hosting widely engaged conversations such as those on cliches in the Hall, the opinions of world leaders on each other, and unique features of participating nations, and also recording memorable exchanges through "Project Langolier-Proofing" to prevent their loss to time;
  • written the most used guide for new Seventh Hall ambassadors, helping countless representatives learn etiquette and convention in the Hall;
  • hosted a lively factbook contest attracting dozens of delegates to provide publications on their nations and then vote on the best of them, popularising unique aspects of these nations;

Celebrating Valentine Z's contribution outside the Seventh Hall, notably through its vassal Vostrov in the Free Nations Region, keeping residents informed, educated, and entertained by spearheading the creation and development of the regional News Network; and via Garden at 6th Mile Road, which has shielded the ancient region of Singapore from three major attempted invasions through skillful use of border control powers,

Appreciating the further immense contribution by Valentian scholars in a cabal masterminding solutions to the critical yet routine dilemmas governments face, including

  • painstakingly maintaining the official documentation of every known solution this cabal has produced to address national dilemmas, helping cabalists ensure uniqueness in their solutions;
  • further informing governments on the census tracking them by creating and maintaining a program recording correlations between the different censuses;
  • presenting their own solutions for electricity blackouts in the paper "Hello Darkness My Old Friend";

Thinking highly of Valentine Z's additional work to help the international community by developing the Gold Retriever, a robotic entity that helps museum curators monitor the value of artwork collections and available funds to purchase further artwork, allowing them to more efficiently build artwork collections for the denizens of the multiverse to see,

Marvelling at the wide range of fascinating compositions produced by Valentian historians, who have intricately recorded countless events significant to Valentine Z through such works as

  • "The Adventures of Gwen 'Tracer' Allison", a recount of the travels of one of Valentine Z's most famous space travellers through many realms after she was sucked into a black hole during a mission, giving her time travel powers;
  • "I, Clarissa", which chronicles the development of Clarissa Alanis Star, an Android renowned as possibly the most sophisticated and advanced artificially intelligent being, to the point of leading Valentine Z to the semifinals of the very second Cup of Harmony in which the nation competed;
  • the biographies of sixty notable Valentians via "The Sixty", including

    • the nation's legendary founder, Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine, whose incredible diplomatic skills saved his planet from destruction at the hands of nuclear war, and who brought countless international delegates to bond and celebrate in two widely enjoyable public dinners to apologise for threats made under demonic possession;
    • Anastasia Freya Valentina Aye, an exceptional car racer who became the first to claim victory twice at the modern NationStates Stock Car Racing Association, and also demonstrated her heroic, adroit leadership in the final battle against the Megatron and Decepticons;
    • Foresittend Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds, a talented scientist who, before rising to become the leader of Victoriaans Nederlands, discovered the impenetrable "Alloy 41" which was essential to ending the nuclear war terrorising the planet;

Emphasising, lastly, the rich and unique Valentian culture, especially the language "Valkyrie Språk", a sophisticated language rooted in a multitude of different tongues facilitating communication and understanding between the many cultures in Valentine Z,

Wholeheartedly believing the great contribution by Valentine Z in so many areas and communities to be worthy of this august body's highest honour,

Commends Valentine Z.

Co-authors: Tinhampton, Morover


Discuss.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 10:12 pm
by Honeydewistania
That mew mew line is an unreadable word salad. Please rewrite it. And if that horrible pun is in the submitted text I will vote against.

Otherwise support

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 10:24 pm
by Roylaii
100% support.
I for one like the horrible pun.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2022 10:29 pm
by The Kingdom of the Three Isles
Definitely for. Have been a fan of Valentine’s work

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 6:58 am
by Tinhampton
I was not responsible for the assertation that Valentine Z's achievements were attained through mew-mewing.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 7:03 am
by The Orwell Society
Full support, and please keep the mew-mew line!

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 7:04 am
by PhilTech
"Mew-Mew"ed

:?

I think it's fine...

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 7:15 am
by Hulldom
On a first read, I like it. I would suggest that you get a legality check, OP, on Seventh Hall. I’m not entirely certain that would squeeze under the legality bar in the (surely certain but here hypothetical) limbo contest. Other thing that I would note in that clause is that “factbook” may be dubiously legal and I would, if I were you, seek out advice there as well.

Beyond that, is the blackouts line the issue they’ve written? If so, I would cut back a little somewhere so you can at least tell what that issue’s name is.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 12:34 pm
by The Ice States
Thanks for all the feedback, everyone. A new draft will be posted in the next few days.

In regards to legality of "factbook" and "Seventh Hall", I will be asking for a legality check here on whether "Seventh Hall" or similar terminology -- as referring to Forum 7 -- is legal, and whether "factbook" is illegal wording.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 1:04 pm
by The Orwell Society
Perhaps mention Val's card collection?

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 8:29 pm
by Honeydewistania
Seventh hall can't be illegal in my non moderator view.

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 8:33 pm
by Hiram Land
Honeydewistania wrote:Seventh hall can't be illegal in my non moderator view.

It shouldn't be!

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 9:18 pm
by Lenlyvit
The Ice States wrote:Thanks for all the feedback, everyone. A new draft will be posted in the next few days.

In regards to legality of "factbook" and "Seventh Hall", I will be asking for a legality check here on whether "Seventh Hall" or similar terminology -- as referring to Forum 7 -- is legal, and whether "factbook" is illegal wording.

I'm not a mod either, but it's perfectly fine to mention a factbook I believe. Just don't link to it is all :)

PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2022 9:20 pm
by Norse Inuit Union
Full support!

PostPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2022 6:39 am
by Anne of Cleves in TNP
Support.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:44 am
by Sedgistan
The Ice States wrote:In regards to legality of "factbook" and "Seventh Hall", I will be asking for a legality check here on whether "Seventh Hall" or similar terminology -- as referring to Forum 7 -- is legal, and whether "factbook" is illegal wording.

Both are fine. "Seventh Hall" I think is an excellent "SC-IC" way to refer to Forum 7. Factbooks have been mentioned before in resolutions (usually in the context of World Factbook Entries) but also seems fine in the way you've used it.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:52 am
by Terminus Station
Who?? I've never seen this guy on forum 7.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 2:30 am
by Bhang Bhang Duc
The research looks detailed, but the writing lets this draft down in places. For example:

Examining the origins of Valentine Z in the Seventh Hall, a section of the international forums where ambassadors from across the world engage in friendly interaction through regular games, contests, and entertaining discussions. Valentian ambassadors have been positive, welcoming, and renowned participants within the Seventh Hall, having successfully

  • managed many important discussions, hosting a number of widely engaged discussions such as those on cliches in the Hall, whether ambassadors would live in each other's nations, and unique features of participating nations, as well as recording various notable discussions through "Project Langolier-Proofing" to prevent them from being lost to time;
  • written the most used guide for new Seventh Hall ambassadors, which has helped countless ambassadors learn etiquette and convention in the Hall;
  • hosted a lively factbook contest which attracted dozens of ambassadors to provide government publications regarding their nations and then vote on the best of these publications, popularising many aspects of these nations;

Discussions is used four times, ambassadors six times. While no one is expecting you to be a walking thesaurus, a little bit more inventiveness in sentence construction would be appreciated.

There’s also a couple of instances of unnecessary and incorrect capitalisation of words.

Edit: which I now can’t find.

Hate the first line by the way and please consign the “mew-mew” line at the end to the dustbin. If it’s a joke it’s not funny or only funny to a select few.

Overall it’s not a bad attempt, but a lot of work needed to tidy it up.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 3:08 am
by Perikuresu
Full support

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 3:51 pm
by The Ice States
Second draft is up. And thanks, Sedge, for the ruling.

The Security Council,

Highlighting the Graceful and Wonderful Feline Utopia and its Glorious Autonomous Superpowers of Valentine Z as a nation that, owing not only to the positivity and tact of its populace (ranked by the World Census as one of the most inclusive, compassionate, and nice), but also to the incredible prowess of its authors and storytellers, has made one of the greatest global impacts of any state,

Examining the origins of Valentine Z in the Seventh Hall, a section of the international forums where ambassadors from across the world engage in friendly interaction through regular games, contests, and entertaining discussions. Valentian ambassadors have been positive, welcoming, and renowned participants within the Seventh Hall, having successfully

  • managed many important discussions, hosting a number of widely engaged discussions such as those on cliches in the Hall, whether ambassadors would live in each other's nations, and unique features of participating nations, as well as recording various notable discussions through "Project Langolier-Proofing" to prevent them from being permanently lost to time;
  • written the most notable guide for new Seventh Hall ambassadors to help them learn etiquette and convention therein;
  • hosted a lively factbook contest which attracted dozens of ambassadors to provide government publications regarding their nations and then vote on the best of these publications, popularising many aspects of these nations;

Celebrating Valentine Z’s contributions outside of the Seventh Hall, notably through its puppet Vostrov in the Free Nations Region, helping keep residents informed, educated and entertained by spearheading the creation and development of the regional News Network; and via Garden at 6th Mile Road, which has helped shield the ancient region of Singapore from three major attempted invasions through skillful use of border control powers,

Appreciating Valentine Z's further immense contribution in a cabal of nations masterminding solutions to the critical yet routine dilemmas world governments face, including

  • maintaining, for over two years to date, a public database of every known dilemma world governments have had to address;
  • operating an interactive database recording correlations between World Census statistics;
  • sending diplomats to advise foreign governments in dealing with electricity blackouts;

Thinking highly of Valentine Z's additional work to help the international community by developing the Gold Retriever, a robotic entity which has been used by countless museum curators to monitor the value of artwork collections and available funding to purchase further artwork,

Marvelling at the contribution to the world by Valentine Z's founder and leader, Valkyrie Valentijn Samantha Constantine, who saved his planet from destruction at the hands of nuclear war, and later hosted a public dinner to apologise for threats made while under demonic possession (which was so well-attended and enjoyable that he successfully organised another),

Emphasising that Valentine Z has also harboured some of the most proficient authors in the world, whose legendary works include

  • "The Adventures of Gwen 'Tracer' Allison", a recount of the travels of one of Valentine Z's most famous space travellers through many realms after she was sucked into a black hole during a mission, giving her time travel powers;
  • "I, Clarissa", which chronicles the development of Clarissa Alanis Star, an Android renowned as possibly the most sophisticated and advanced artificially intelligent being, to the point of leading Valentine Z to the semifinals of the 82nd Cup of Harmony (a remarkable achievement for a team ranked outside the top 100 before the tournament commenced);
  • the incredible biographies of sixty different prominent Valentians, known as "The Sixty", including

    • Anastasia Freya Valentina Aye, an exceptional car racer who claimed victory for the nation twice at the NationStates Stock Car Racing Association, and also demonstrated her heroic, adroit leadership in the final battle against the Megatron and Decepticons;
    • Foresittend Marcus Alan Ariel Reynolds, an exceptional scientist who, as a military Lieutenant-Colonel, developed an impenetrable material called Alloy 41 which was crucial to saving the planet from nuclear war, and now leads Victoriaans Nederlands;
  • extensive documentation of the "Valkyrie Språk" language, a unique, sophisticated language from Valentine Z evolved from a variety of other languages;

Wholeheartedly believing that Valentine Z has "Mew-Mew"ed its way to making such an incredible contribution to the world deserving of this august assembly's highest honour,

Commends Valentine Z.

Co-authors: Tinhampton, Morover


Honey and BBD et al: The "mew-mew" pun was from the nominee's roleplay -- see eg this -- but has indeed been removed.

Hulldom: Much of the Issues clause has been rewritten, including adding mention of the issue's name.

BBD: The first line has been almost entirely rewritten and the last line also scrapped. In regards to word overuse, I hope that the new draft addresses that concern?

Orwell: With all due respect, 182nd in deck value is, while not an easy feat, not really as incredible as to deserve an entire SC commendation. Valentine has definitely contributed to the cards community -- see the "Thinking highly" line -- but I don't think his deck is something that needs to be mentioned in a commendation -- especially when there's already many other commendable achievements mentioned here.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 2:27 pm
by The Ice States
Bump.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 4:51 am
by Bhang Bhang Duc
The changes to the areas I mentioned read a lot better now - looks pretty good overall.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:27 am
by Parryl
The World Assembly Delegation of Parryl is showing their SUPPORT! Valentine Z has been a wonderful addition to the NationStates community!

PostPosted: Thu Aug 11, 2022 12:49 am
by The Ice States
This will be submitted after "Commend Refuge Isle" gets submitted.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2022 2:54 pm
by The Ice States
Final bump.