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[PASSED] Commend Refuge Isle

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Quebecshire
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Democratic Socialists

[PASSED] Commend Refuge Isle

Postby Quebecshire » Wed Jun 29, 2022 3:41 pm

Hello again Security Council,

Whatermelons and I have been working on this for the last two weeks or so, and we're ready to take it to the forums. Luca's accomplishments in region-building, infrastructure, and the defender cause speak for themselves, and we hope this draft has done it justice. Thank you to Chacapoya, Walrus, Moon, Hulldom, and Zukchiva for their feedback ahead of this being posted to the forums.

The Security Council,

Beginning the Fanciful Tales of Refuge Isle (often referred to as “Luca”) with the environmentally stunning and prolifically democratic region of Refugia, which they founded alongside Sylh Alanor,

Recognizing Luca’s extensive contributions to Refugi culture and political norms, such as a strong affinity with democracy that enables all Member States to have a direct say in the governance of the region, highlights of their work being:

  • Serving as its Arch-Administrator since the region’s inception, a role through which they serve as Head of State and oversee all referenda and elections to the Regional Council,
  • Authoring and co-authoring nine amendments to the Refugia Revised Statutes (the regional constitution) which streamlined several processes such as election consolidation, cohesion in the Regional Council, and responsible utilization of border control,
  • Publishing the Refugi Tower Archives and conducting the annual Refuge Census, both providing Refugi nations and the world at large with detailed and updated information on global and regional trends and statistics,

Applauding the unique culture of environmental protection and conservation Luca cultivated within Refugia as its Councillor of Culture, in which they established the Green Week event and initiated the publishing of the Eco-Report, encouraging national leaders to enact environmentally-supportive policies,

Appreciating Luca for also promoting environmentalism beyond Refugia by passing international legislation such as GA#473 “Responsible Land Management”, which reduced the permanent destruction of habitats due to careless agricultural practices through its mandates, as well as alerting nations to the economic consequences of their refusal to sign climate treaties through the document “Trading Climate Sours”,

Nodding in approval at the nominee’s creation of Dot, a robotic entity which has further enabled Refugia and other notable regions such as The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW), Thaecia, and The Union of Democratic States to improve their regional World Assembly literacy, as well as their general recruitment efforts,

Acclaiming Luca's monumental efforts to improve community outreach via their substantial recruitment and integration efforts, which include:

  • Tireless work in recruiting new nations to their regions, raising the population of TGW by around 500 nations to over 700 nations and supporting consistent growth in Refugia that has allowed the community to be home to more than 400 nations,
  • The creation of the Endotarting Program in Refugia and the Bastion Program in TGW, which involved the magnanimous donations of valuable artwork to nations with high WA participation, strengthening the influence these regions have in the WA,

Extolling Luca's contributions to the international artwork community by highlighting the ultra-rare rarity through the almost-complete "Pretty in Purple" and complete "Power to the Purple" collections of every ultra-rare artwork in the first and second editions respectively, alongside being one of the few traders to complete the set of all legendary rarity artwork,

Amazed by Luca's meteoric success in TGW, rapidly rising to the rank of Warden-Commander, where they painstakingly maintained Warden service records in their role as the organisation's Chamberlain in addition to their labor in pushing integration efforts and organizing defensive operations,

Ecstatic at Luca's further contributions to global recordkeeping and preservation through the creation of the Eyebeast, an exhaustive and easy-to-access repository of regional data that allows those restoring or interested in a region's past attributes to promptly access them,

Revering Luca’s tactical combat expertise in calculating military movements as a key leader in large-scale operations throughout their career, including several critical defender victories such as the liberations of:

  • Nasunia, a peaceful region invaded by deceitful tactics involving espionage against 10000 Islands,
  • Trovons, a newer community which was thrust into turmoil due to raider forces banning the region’s founder during their occupation,
  • China, a historic region invaded by a broad coalition, resulting in one of the most attended sieges and liberations in known history,

Astonished at the sheer amount of military operations which Luca has participated or taken a leading role in, leading to a total of over 10,000 defensive operations since they began their career, an incredible feat rivaled by few and accomplished in relatively short time,

Convinced that Luca's propensity for regional development, steadfast defense of innocent communities, and desire to guide nations across the globe marks them as an exemplary leader that all others should strive to emulate,

Hereby commends [nation=long]Refuge Isle[/nation].


Co-author: Honeydewistania
Last edited by United Calanworie on Fri Aug 26, 2022 11:03 pm, edited 30 times in total.
Reason: Updated to [PASSED] from [AT VOTE]
PATRIOT OF THE LEAGUE REDEEMER OF CONCORD
Defender Moralist | Consul of the LDF | Warden-Lieutenant Emeritus | Commended
Benevolent Thomas wrote:I founded a defender organization out of my dislike of invaders, what invading represents, and my desire to see them suffer.
Pergamon wrote:I must say, you are truly what they deserve.

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Quebecshire
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Quebecshire » Wed Jun 29, 2022 3:42 pm

The Security Council,

Beginning the Fanciful Tales of Refuge Isle (often referred to as “Luca”) with the environmentally stunning and prolifically democratic region of [region]Refugia[/nation], of which they founded alongside Sylh Alanor.

Recognizing Luca’s extensive contributions to Refugi culture and political norms, such as a strong affinity with democracy that enables all Member States to have a direct say in the governance of the region, highlights of their work being:

  • Serving as its Arch-Administrator since the region’s inception, a role through which they serve as Head of State and oversee all referenda and elections to the Regional Council,
  • Authoring and co-authoring eight amendments to the Refugia Revised Statutes (the regional constitution) which streamlined several processes such as election consolidation, cohesion in the Regional Council, and responsible utilization of border control,
  • Publishing the Refugi Tower Archives and conducting the annual Refuge Census, both providing Refugi nations and the world at large with detailed and updated information on global and regional trends and statistics,

Applauding the unique culture of environmental protection and conservation Luca cultivated within Refugia as its Councilor of Culture, in which they established the Green Week event and initiated the publishing of the Eco-Report - both integral Refugi affairs that still occur regularly and continue to encourage national leaders to enact beneficial environmentally-supportive policies,

Appreciating Luca for also promoting environmentalism beyond Refugia by passing international legislation such as General Assembly Resolution #473 “Responsible Land Management”, which reduced the permanent destruction of habitats due to careless agricultural practices through its mandates, as well as alerting nations to the economic consequences of their refusal to sign climate treaties through the document “Trading Climate Sours”,

Further appreciating Luca’s contributions to this assembly during their time as Deputy Minister of WA Affairs for The East Pacific, where they took an active role in leadership during a time of inactivity that increased the size and productivity of ministry staff, ensured timely and informative recommendations, and faithfully maintained extensive Ministry records - thereby increasing WA literacy and inciting meaningful debate amongst East Pacificans,

Nodding in approval at the nominee’s creation of Dot, a robotic entity which has further enabled Refugia and other notable regions such as TGW, Thaecia, and The Union of Democratic States to recruit new members and improve regional World Assembly literacy through the assistance it provides,

Praising the additional monumental efforts made by Luca to guide new nations via their substantial recruitment and integration efforts within the regions they are involved in, which include:

  • Tireless work in recruiting new nations to their regions, raising the population of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW) by around 500 nations to over 700 nations and supporting consistent growth in Refugia that has allowed the community to be home to more than 400 nations,
  • The creation of the Endotarting Program in Refugia and the Bastion Program in TGW, which involved the magnanimous donations of valuable artwork to nations with high WA participation, strengthening the influence these regions have in the WA,

Taken aback by Luca's meteoric rise in TGW, rising to the rank of Warden-Commander within a short period of time, where they painstakingly maintained Warden service records in their role as the organisation's Chamberlain in addition to their labor in pushing integration efforts and organizing defensive operations,

Astonished at the sheer amount of military operations which Luca has participated or taken a leading role in, leading to a total of over 7,500 defensive operations since they began their defender military career, a feat rivaled by few (often including those who have spent far longer time conducting defensive operations),

Revering Luca’s tactical combat expertise in calculating military movements as a key leader in large-scale operations throughout their career, including several critical defender victories such as the liberations of:

  • Nasunia, a region of roleplayers invaded by deceitful tactics involving espionage against 10000 Islands,
  • Trovons, a newer community which was thrusted into turmoil due to raider forces banning the region’s founder during their occupation,
  • China, a historic region invaded by a broad coalition, resulting in one of the most attended sieges and liberations in known history,

Convinced that Luca is a nation whose propensity for regional development, steadfast defense of innocent communities, and desire to guide nations across the globe marks them as an exemplary leader that all others should strive to emulate,

Hereby commends [nation=long]Refuge Isle[/nation].


The Security Council,

Beginning the Fanciful Tales of Refuge Isle (often referred to as “Luca”) with the environmentally stunning and prolifically democratic region of Refugia, which they founded alongside Sylh Alanor,

Recognizing Luca’s extensive contributions to Refugi culture and political norms, such as a strong affinity with democracy that enables all Member States to have a direct say in the governance of the region, highlights of their work being:

  • Serving as its Arch-Administrator since the region’s inception, a role through which they serve as Head of State and oversee all referenda and elections to the Regional Council,
  • Authoring and co-authoring eight amendments to the Refugia Revised Statutes (the regional constitution) which streamlined several processes such as election consolidation, cohesion in the Regional Council, and responsible utilization of border control,
  • Publishing the Refugi Tower Archives and conducting the annual Refuge Census, both providing Refugi nations and the world at large with detailed and updated information on global and regional trends and statistics,

Applauding the unique culture of environmental protection and conservation Luca cultivated within Refugia as its Councillor of Culture, in which they established the Green Week event and initiated the publishing of the Eco-Report - both integral Refugi affairs that still occur regularly and continue to encourage national leaders to enact beneficial environmentally-supportive policies,

Appreciating Luca for also promoting environmentalism beyond Refugia by passing international legislation such as GA#473 “Responsible Land Management”, which reduced the permanent destruction of habitats due to careless agricultural practices through its mandates, as well as alerting nations to the economic consequences of their refusal to sign climate treaties through the document “Trading Climate Sours”,

Further appreciating Luca’s contributions to this assembly during their time as Deputy Minister of WA Affairs for The East Pacific, where they took an active role in leadership during a time of inactivity that increased the size and productivity of ministry staff, ensured timely and informative recommendations, and faithfully maintained extensive Ministry records - thereby increasing WA literacy and inciting meaningful debate amongst East Pacificans,

Nodding in approval at the nominee’s creation of Dot, a robotic entity which has further enabled Refugia and other notable regions such as TGW, Thaecia, and The Union of Democratic States to recruit new members and improve regional World Assembly literacy through the assistance it provides,

Praising the additional monumental efforts made by Luca to guide new nations via their substantial recruitment and integration efforts within the regions they are involved in, which include:

  • Tireless work in recruiting new nations to their regions, raising the population of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW) by around 500 nations to over 700 nations and supporting consistent growth in Refugia that has allowed the community to be home to more than 400 nations,
  • The creation of the Endotarting Program in Refugia and the Bastion Program in TGW, which involved the magnanimous donations of valuable artwork to nations with high WA participation, strengthening the influence these regions have in the WA,

Taken aback by Luca's meteoric success in TGW, rapidly rising to the rank of Warden-Commander, where they painstakingly maintained Warden service records in their role as the organisation's Chamberlain in addition to their labor in pushing integration efforts and organizing defensive operations,

Astonished at the sheer amount of military operations which Luca has participated or taken a leading role in, leading to a total of over 7,500 defensive operations since they began their defender military career, a feat rivaled by few (often including those who have spent far longer time conducting defensive operations),

Revering Luca’s tactical combat expertise in calculating military movements as a key leader in large-scale operations throughout their career, including several critical defender victories such as the liberations of:

  • Nasunia, a peaceful region invaded by deceitful tactics involving espionage against 10000 Islands,
  • Trovons, a newer community which was thrust into turmoil due to raider forces banning the region’s founder during their occupation,
  • China, a historic region invaded by a broad coalition, resulting in one of the most attended sieges and liberations in known history,

Convinced that Luca's propensity for regional development, steadfast defense of innocent communities, and desire to guide nations across the globe marks them as an exemplary leader that all others should strive to emulate,

Hereby commends [nation=long]Refuge Isle[/nation].


The Security Council,

Beginning the Fanciful Tales of Refuge Isle (often referred to as “Luca”) with the environmentally stunning and prolifically democratic region of Refugia, which they founded alongside Sylh Alanor,

Recognizing Luca’s extensive contributions to Refugi culture and political norms, such as a strong affinity with democracy that enables all Member States to have a direct say in the governance of the region, highlights of their work being:

  • Serving as its Arch-Administrator since the region’s inception, a role through which they serve as Head of State and oversee all referenda and elections to the Regional Council,
  • Authoring and co-authoring eight amendments to the Refugia Revised Statutes (the regional constitution) which streamlined several processes such as election consolidation, cohesion in the Regional Council, and responsible utilization of border control,
  • Publishing the Refugi Tower Archives and conducting the annual Refuge Census, both providing Refugi nations and the world at large with detailed and updated information on global and regional trends and statistics,

Applauding the unique culture of environmental protection and conservation Luca cultivated within Refugia as its Councillor of Culture, in which they established the Green Week event and initiated the publishing of the Eco-Report - both integral Refugi affairs that still occur regularly and continue to encourage national leaders to enact beneficial environmentally-supportive policies,

Appreciating Luca for also promoting environmentalism beyond Refugia by passing international legislation such as GA#473 “Responsible Land Management”, which reduced the permanent destruction of habitats due to careless agricultural practices through its mandates, as well as alerting nations to the economic consequences of their refusal to sign climate treaties through the document “Trading Climate Sours”,

Further appreciating Luca’s contributions to this assembly during their time as Deputy Minister of WA Affairs for The East Pacific, where they took an active role in leadership during a time of inactivity that increased the size and productivity of ministry staff, ensured timely and informative recommendations, and faithfully maintained extensive Ministry records - thereby increasing WA literacy and inciting meaningful debate amongst East Pacificans,

Nodding in approval at the nominee’s creation of Dot, a robotic entity which has further enabled Refugia and other notable regions such as The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW), Thaecia, and The Union of Democratic States to improve their regional World Assembly literacy, as well as their general recruitment efforts, through the assistance it provides,

Acclaiming the additional monumental efforts made by Luca to improve community outreach via their substantial recruitment and integration efforts within the regions they are involved in, which include:

  • Tireless work in recruiting new nations to their regions, raising the population of TGW by around 500 nations to over 700 nations and supporting consistent growth in Refugia that has allowed the community to be home to more than 400 nations,
  • The creation of the Endotarting Program in Refugia and the Bastion Program in TGW, which involved the magnanimous donations of valuable artwork to nations with high WA participation, strengthening the influence these regions have in the WA,

Taken aback by Luca's meteoric success in TGW, rapidly rising to the rank of Warden-Commander, where they painstakingly maintained Warden service records in their role as the organisation's Chamberlain in addition to their labor in pushing integration efforts and organizing defensive operations,

Revering Luca’s tactical combat expertise in calculating military movements as a key leader in large-scale operations throughout their career, including several critical defender victories such as the liberations of:

  • Nasunia, a peaceful region invaded by deceitful tactics involving espionage against 10000 Islands,
  • Trovons, a newer community which was thrust into turmoil due to raider forces banning the region’s founder during their occupation,
  • China, a historic region invaded by a broad coalition, resulting in one of the most attended sieges and liberations in known history,

Astonished at the sheer amount of military operations which Luca has participated or taken a leading role in, leading to a total of over 7,500 defensive operations since they began their career, a feat rivaled by few (often including those who have spent far longer time conducting defensive operations),

Convinced that Luca's propensity for regional development, steadfast defense of innocent communities, and desire to guide nations across the globe marks them as an exemplary leader that all others should strive to emulate,

Hereby commends [nation=long]Refuge Isle[/nation].
Last edited by Quebecshire on Tue Jul 19, 2022 5:33 am, edited 3 times in total.
PATRIOT OF THE LEAGUE REDEEMER OF CONCORD
Defender Moralist | Consul of the LDF | Warden-Lieutenant Emeritus | Commended
Benevolent Thomas wrote:I founded a defender organization out of my dislike of invaders, what invading represents, and my desire to see them suffer.
Pergamon wrote:I must say, you are truly what they deserve.

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Giovanniland
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Corporate Bordello

Postby Giovanniland » Wed Jun 29, 2022 4:08 pm

I think one clause dedicated to cards (besides the mention of cards of endotarting awards I see there) would be fitting for Luca's contributions to the cards community, adding to the diversity already present in the proposal.

Namely, Luca's collections "Pretty in Purple" and "Power to the Purple" are the largest displays of Ultra-Rare cards for S1 and S2 respectively, the former almost complete and the latter fully complete. Also worthy of mention could be Luca's successful attempt at collecting every legendary card from both seasons.
Last edited by Giovanniland on Wed Jun 29, 2022 4:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Wed Jun 29, 2022 4:10 pm

The region tag for Refugia is borked.

You refer to "TGW" before you explain what TGW stands for. Perhaps move the first mention of "The Order of the Grey Wardens" to NODDING and use the acronym from thereon out.

Character count suggestions:
  • "General Assembly Resolution #473" ---> "GA#473"
  • "rising to the rank of Warden-Commander within a short period of time" ---> "rapidly rising to the rank of Warden-Commander"
  • "Luca is a nation whose propensity for..." ---> "Luca's propensity for..."
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Quebecshire
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Quebecshire » Wed Jun 29, 2022 4:15 pm

Giovanniland wrote:I think one clause dedicated to cards (besides the mention of cards of endotarting awards I see there) would be fitting for Luca's contributions to the cards community, adding to the diversity already present in the proposal.

Namely, Luca's collections "Pretty in Purple" and "Power to the Purple" are the largest displays of Ultra-Rare cards for S1 and S2 respectively, the former almost complete and the latter fully complete. Also worthy of mention could be Luca's successful attempt at collecting every legendary card from both seasons.

I do like this suggestion and hopefully I can find a way to implement it. Getting everything in there under the limit is going to be a bit difficult, but I agree that it could add on the already extensive diversity of the proposal. I'll be sure to get back to this suggestion!

Tinhampton wrote:The region tag for Refugia is borked.

You refer to "TGW" before you explain what TGW stands for. Perhaps move the first mention of "The Order of the Grey Wardens" to NODDING and use the acronym from thereon out.

Character count suggestions:
  • "General Assembly Resolution #473" ---> "GA#473"
  • "rising to the rank of Warden-Commander within a short period of time" ---> "rapidly rising to the rank of Warden-Commander"
  • "Luca is a nation whose propensity for..." ---> "Luca's propensity for..."

All of the above has been implemented, and regarding the second I replaced "meteoric rise" with "meteoric success" to avoid redundancy.
PATRIOT OF THE LEAGUE REDEEMER OF CONCORD
Defender Moralist | Consul of the LDF | Warden-Lieutenant Emeritus | Commended
Benevolent Thomas wrote:I founded a defender organization out of my dislike of invaders, what invading represents, and my desire to see them suffer.
Pergamon wrote:I must say, you are truly what they deserve.

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Junitaki-cho
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Left-wing Utopia

Postby Junitaki-cho » Wed Jun 29, 2022 4:46 pm

I think the structure and order of things here is a bit off. You bounce from region building to issues and WA to Dot, then back to more region building? It'd be cool if it had more of a natural narrative flow, and I think if done right, that would let you add in stuff like the cards clause - you could gain some space by melding the "Recognizing," "Applauding," and "Praising" clauses and maybe dropping one piece out of there if you need some characters.

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Tim-Opolis
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Postby Tim-Opolis » Wed Jun 29, 2022 8:23 pm

Luca is one of the most skilled, driven, and overall wonderful players I've had the opportunity to play and work alongside on NS.

Their contributions to their regions, and the community at large, are without question. I can think of few people more deserving of recognition, and Luca's humbleness on the matter only reinforces my convictions in them deserving this.
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Wed Jun 29, 2022 10:33 pm

Only had a quick read through but it looks pretty damn good.

Glad you changed “meteoric rise”. As an astronomer I know that meteors never rise they only go down. :)
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Chipoli
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Postby Chipoli » Thu Jun 30, 2022 4:50 am

Luca is 100% commendable and this proposal does an excellent job of detailing his accomplishments. I do somewhat agree with the concerns raised above with formatting, though it's really not that bad, it just could use some tweaks, and maybe the style could be changed a little bit. Overall though, this has a good chance of passing.
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Fachumonn
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Postby Fachumonn » Thu Jun 30, 2022 6:22 am

Full Support! Luca is so deserving!
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Quebecshire
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Postby Quebecshire » Thu Jun 30, 2022 6:41 am

I’ll put some more thought into the narrative, so I’d like to hear what others have to say. We’ve already moved stuff around a lot (from when the PfS server was discussing this) and I kind of like where we’re at.

To put some perspective, I see the narrative as meant to lead with environmental focus and through Refugia, so I see it as something like this,

Refugia founding and civil service -> Refugi/environmental culture contributions -> Environnemental contributions beyond Refugia through authorship -> TEP WA beyond authorships -> Dot and Luca’s contributions to other regional infrastructure -> further WA adjacent work integration, in both Refugia and TGW -> TGW as a segway to their defender career -> conclusion.

Recapping that in that way, I can see how Dot might be a bit out of place, but I do think the rest of it can be mapped out in a connected path. That’s just me though, we’ll see what others have to say!
Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Only had a quick read through but it looks pretty damn good.

Glad you changed “meteoric rise”. As an astronomer I know that meteors never rise they only go down. :)

Thanks BBD!
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Benevolent Thomas wrote:I founded a defender organization out of my dislike of invaders, what invading represents, and my desire to see them suffer.
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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Thu Jun 30, 2022 10:05 am

Echo BBD. It's a good resolution and a more-than-worthy candidate. I have a couple of tweaks, one is that you mention "TGW" before you mention "The Order of the Grey Wardens". Not sure about "Taken aback" as an opener to a clause, either.
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Fachumonn
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Postby Fachumonn » Thu Jun 30, 2022 10:19 am

Fauxia wrote: I have a couple of tweaks, one is that you mention "TGW" before you mention "The Order of the Grey Wardens".

That was fixed already.
Fauxia wrote: Not sure about "Taken aback" as an opener to a clause, either.

I'm sure that's been used in some existing resolutions already, but fair.
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Quebecshire
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Postby Quebecshire » Thu Jun 30, 2022 10:21 am

Indeed, I missed fixing that when addressing Tinhampton yesterday. That will be fixed tonight, as well as the oversight regarding TGW.

Thanks!
PATRIOT OF THE LEAGUE REDEEMER OF CONCORD
Defender Moralist | Consul of the LDF | Warden-Lieutenant Emeritus | Commended
Benevolent Thomas wrote:I founded a defender organization out of my dislike of invaders, what invading represents, and my desire to see them suffer.
Pergamon wrote:I must say, you are truly what they deserve.

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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Thu Jun 30, 2022 3:27 pm

Fachumonn wrote:
Fauxia wrote: I have a couple of tweaks, one is that you mention "TGW" before you mention "The Order of the Grey Wardens".

That was fixed already.


Nodding in approval at the nominee’s creation of Dot, a robotic entity which has further enabled Refugia and other notable regions such as TGW, Thaecia, and The Union of Democratic States to recruit new members and improve regional World Assembly literacy through the assistance it provides...

Tireless work in recruiting new nations to their regions, raising the population of The Order of the Grey Wardens (TGW)

Boldface mine ;)

(Unless you're just saying Tin said it, which I missed, yes)
Last edited by Fauxia on Thu Jun 30, 2022 3:28 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Quebecshire
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Quebecshire » Thu Jun 30, 2022 3:29 pm

I'll edit that once I decide where the Dot clause is actually going to end up in the end, since there's no need to make that change if it gets moved to later in the draft.
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Bears Armed
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Thu Jun 30, 2022 3:42 pm

Fauxia wrote:Not sure about "Taken aback" as an opener to a clause, either.

So,how about "NONETHELESS REMAINS AGOG at the chutzpah exhibited", then?
8)
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Anne of Cleves in TNP
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Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Anne of Cleves in TNP » Fri Jul 01, 2022 5:36 am

Junitaki-cho wrote:I think the structure and order of things here is a bit off. You bounce from region building to issues and WA to Dot, then back to more region building? It'd be cool if it had more of a natural narrative flow, and I think if done right, that would let you add in stuff like the cards clause - you could gain some space by melding the "Recognizing," "Applauding," and "Praising" clauses and maybe dropping one piece out of there if you need some characters.

[OOC: To Quebecshire]

I am supporting this proposal in concept, however I agree with the quoted user above that this proposal needs a clear and smooth story arc, considering that the current draft abruptly jumps around to different positive actions of the target nation.
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The Orwell Society
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Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby The Orwell Society » Sun Jul 03, 2022 2:32 pm

Support. Fuuuuulllll support. But it needs better flow.
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Floofybit
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Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Floofybit » Sun Jul 03, 2022 4:19 pm

Never heard of this Refugia region or this Refuge Isle character, but they seem pretty snazzy. I'll just vote what ever the delegate votes.
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Honeydewistania
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Ex-Nation

Postby Honeydewistania » Sun Jul 03, 2022 4:51 pm

The Orwell Society wrote:Support. Fuuuuulllll support. But it needs better flow.

Elaborate?
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Sun Jul 03, 2022 11:50 pm

The Orwell Society wrote:Support. Fuuuuulllll support. But it needs better flow.

Anne of Cleves in TNP wrote:
Junitaki-cho wrote:I think the structure and order of things here is a bit off. You bounce from region building to issues and WA to Dot, then back to more region building? It'd be cool if it had more of a natural narrative flow, and I think if done right, that would let you add in stuff like the cards clause - you could gain some space by melding the "Recognizing," "Applauding," and "Praising" clauses and maybe dropping one piece out of there if you need some characters.

[OOC: To Quebecshire]

I am supporting this proposal in concept, however I agree with the quoted user above that this proposal needs a clear and smooth story arc, considering that the current draft abruptly jumps around to different positive actions of the target nation.

I fail to understand the insistence on “flow” and “story arc”. Not every nominee’s history is linear in terms of their accomplishments and not every writer’s style is conducive to that type of writing.
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Lenlyvit
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Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Lenlyvit » Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:49 am

There's an R2(a) violation in the Nasunia clause, where you use the word "roleplayers". That's a word that breaks the 4th Wall.
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Jul 04, 2022 12:10 pm

Also in the same list:
Trovons, a newer community which was thrusted thrust into turmoil due to raider forces banning the region’s founder during their occupation,

Minor grammatical correction.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Mon Jul 04, 2022 12:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former Delegate of The West Pacific. Guardian (under many Delegates) of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs and former Security Council Advisor.

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart
Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

Sedgistan wrote:The SC has just has a spate of really shitty ones recently from Northumbria, his Watermelon fanboy…..

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Quebecshire
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Quebecshire » Mon Jul 04, 2022 4:33 pm

Lenlyvit wrote:There's an R2(a) violation in the Nasunia clause, where you use the word "roleplayers". That's a word that breaks the 4th Wall.

Tentatively updated to "nation builders" - thanks for the catch.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Also in the same list:
Trovons, a newer community which was thrusted thrust into turmoil due to raider forces banning the region’s founder during their occupation,

Minor grammatical correction.

Fixed, thanks!
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