[SCRAPPED] Commend the Order of the Grey Wardens

[The Orwell Society]

OOC: The Grey Wardens are the largest region with the pure reason of existence of defending. They are praised alongside other defender organizations like TITO and the RRA, yet they have never been commended outright. I propose to change that. Raider regions like TBH and LWU hold condemnations like trophies, and in a sense, they are trophies of what they have worked so hard to achieve. So why not give the Wardens that same recognition of their many achievements, I say?

I agree that defenders will never truly win the war, but neither will raiders as long as defenders are around. I myself am independent, actually a bit raider leaning. I have some experience on both ends of the spectrum from other accounts, and I will gladly inform you of said experience if asked.

This is a very rough draft, and all friendly feedback and constructive criticism is very welcome. Please, if you have any suggestions on how to improve or add to this draft, please tell me. Everything helps. This is my first serious SC proposal, so bear with me if I display any incompetence and please don't eat my lunch for it. So, without further a due, I give you....

Commend the Order of the Grey Wardens

The World Assembly,

RECOGNIZING the Order of the Grey Wardens (commonly referred to as TGW) as the most prominent defender region and one of the most popular defender organizations in the multiverse;

KNOWING that it is the job of this most venerable Security Council to recognize the top multiversal contributors and award them with a commendation;

ACKNOWLEDGING the noble art of defending as the never-ending and tireless fight against evil raiders who seek only to destroy;

APPRECIATING the countless achievements of TGW, including but not limited to:

• The defenses, liberations, and rebuilding of over 70,000 helpless regions across the multiverse, including but not limited to:
  
  • The culture-rich realms of China and Belgium, where invaders attempted to destroy, and, after much strife, failed to overcome the bravery and skill of TGW and allies.
  • The active and laid back region of Liberal Democratic Union, where the founder ceased to exist, provoking the raiders to attempt to burn the community to the ground, but failed thanks to TGW.
  • The operations defending The New Order Last Days of Europe and Trovons, breaking several records and saving the regions from destruction.
• The construction of a well-organized, active regional government effectively leading the number one defender region with excellent foreign affairs:
  
  • The creation of the Treaty of Lake Calenhad with The South Pacific, paving the way for a prosperous relationship in the form of a mutual support pact;
  • The construction of the Ampëz-Weisshaupt Compact with fellow defender region The League, further strengthening the unity and friendship that TGW give to the defender community;
• The harbouring of not one, but six nations already commended by this body, including the region's founder, Benevolent Thomas, and several other prestigious defenders like Haku, Deadeye Jack, and Duxburian Union.

APPLAUDING the efforts of TGW to keep the international community safe from raiders and the many accomplishments they have achieved by doing that;

Hereby Commends the Order of the Grey Wardens

[The Orwell Society]

Repository for old drafts.

You all may post now.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Reads like an exercise in brown-nosing.

Half of what you’ve written is not Commendable, the rest, well more research and less moralising.

[The North Polish Union]

What if we didn't?

[The Orwell Society]

Reads like an exercise in brown-nosing.

Half of what you’ve written is not Commendable, the rest, well more research and less moralising.

It's a very rough draft. I will attempt to fine tune the language once I get the content straight. I've been working on this all day, and yes, in it's current state, it's basically a fancy list of the highlights from my research. If you have any actual suggestions, that would be great.

[The Orwell Society]

What if we didn't?

Then raiders would be more praised than defenders.

[Cappedore]

No hesitation. This proposal has my full support.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Forming treaties is not Commendable - most regions do it. Having Commended nations in your region is not Commendable. TWP has a number of Commended/Condemned nations residing there. Does that mean TWP should be Commended or Condemned? No.

No hesitation. This proposal has my full support.

You obviously have no idea what makes a quality proposal.

[The Orwell Society]

No hesitation. This proposal has my full support.

You obviously have no idea what makes a quality proposal.

I think that means they support in concept. And that's what I'm looking for. I need to know if people support this before I get serious about it.

[Cappedore]

No hesitation. This proposal has my full support.

You obviously have no idea what makes a quality proposal.

The proposal itself can be worked on - but the concept is there and the reasons for it listed. Also if anything, a more informalized WA is helpful in most cases.

[The Orwell Society]

You obviously have no idea what makes a quality proposal.

The proposal itself can be worked on - but the concept is there and the reasons for it listed. Also if anything, a more informalized WA is helpful in most cases.

Thank you for your support.

[Minskiev]

In theory, yes. I suggest you familiarize yourself with defending, though. You're awfully new and, seeing as you've "never heard of Trovons" (TGW discord), it shows.

[The Orwell Society]

Next draft will be out tomorrow. I will work on the writing, including showcasing the fantasy theme that the Wardens like so much

[The Orwell Society]

In theory, yes. I suggest you familiarize yourself with defending, though. You're awfully new and, seeing as you've "never heard of Trovons" (TGW discord), it shows.

I briefly participated in defending (not the TGW, though) in other accounts.

[Cappedore]

In theory, yes. I suggest you familiarize yourself with defending, though. You're awfully new and, seeing as you've "never heard of Trovons" (TGW discord), it shows.

I'd also like to back Minskiev here - a good knowledge of the subject at hand here will get you much further than where you are right now.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

The World Assembly,

RECOGNIZING The Order of the Grey Wardens (commonly referred to as TGW) as the most prominent defender region and one of the most popular defender organizations in the multiverse;

Really, one of the most popular? More popular than the ADN or the FRA? Pointless filler.

KNOWING that it is the job of this most venerable Security Council to recognize the top multiversal contributors and award them with a commendation;

Job? I didn’t know the SC was employed. Purpose might be a better word, but that might give the impression that the SC exists only to Commend, which it doesn’t.

ACKNOWLEDGING the noble art of defending as the never-ending and tireless fight against evil raiders who seek only to destroy;

Pointless moralising.

APPRECIATING the countless achievements of TGW, including but not limited to:

• The defenses, liberations, and rebuilding of over 70,000 helpless regions across the multiverse, including but not limited to:
  
  • The culture-rich realms of China and Belgium, where invaders attempted to destroy, and, after much strife, failed to overcome the bravery and skill of TGW and allies.
  • The active and laid back region of Liberal Democratic Union, where the founder ceased to exist, provoking the raiders to attempt to burn the community to the ground, but failed thanks to TGW.
  • The operations defending The New Order Last Days of Europe and Trovons, breaking several records and saving the regions from destruction

Countless defenses and you can only come up with five and no real detail in those. The lack of research is staggering.

The construction of a well-organized, active regional government effectively leading the number one defender region with excellent foreign affairs:

• The creation of the Treaty of Lake Calenhad with The South Pacific, paving the way for a prosperous relationship in the form of a mutual support pact;
• The construction of the Ampëz-Weisshaupt Compact with fellow defender region The League, further strengthening the unity and friendship that TGW give to the defender community;

Regions make treaties with other regions, it’s what they do. This is non-Commendable fluff.

The harbouring of not one, but six nations already commended by this body, including the region's founder, Benevolent Thomas, and several other prestigious defenders like Haku, Deadeye Jack, and Duxburian Union.

More filler. As I said having Commended nations residing in your region is not a reason for Commending the region.

APPLAUDING the efforts of TGW to keep the international community safe from raiders and the many accomplishments they have achieved by doing that;

Hereby Commends the Order of the Grey Wardens

Many accomplishments, yet you can only find a handful.

Overall, not a very good attempt.

[Cappedore]

I'd agree that you can get a plethora of more accomplishments, but I'd argue against BBD's bluntness and say this is a decent attempt - and it's good that you've put it here for further analysis.

[Thousand Branches]

Next draft will be out tomorrow. I will work on the writing, including showcasing the fantasy theme that the Wardens like so much

Ftr, that “fantasy theme” is actually a “Dragon Age” theme. I am sure there are some Dragon Age fanatics who could help you out with that lore

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

I'd agree that you can get a plethora of more accomplishments, but I'd argue against BBD's bluntness and say this is a decent attempt - and it's good that you've put it here for further analysis.

Blunt is what I do, no point in sugar coating something. If it’s good or the author has made a decent attempt, then I’ll say it and give them support. This is not good and the author has not made a decent attempt.

[Cappedore]

I'd agree that you can get a plethora of more accomplishments, but I'd argue against BBD's bluntness and say this is a decent attempt - and it's good that you've put it here for further analysis.

Blunt is what I do, no point in sugar coating something. If it’s good or the author has made a decent attempt, then I’ll say it and give them support. This is not good and the author has not made a decent attempt.

I'll agree to disagree, you're also pretty experienced in these forms and matters.

[Anne of Cleves in TNP]

“Ambassador, this proposal is a good start. For reference to my suggestions below, here is my SC resolution checklist: there must be no major errors, the target must have done commendable actions that make a significant impact on the international stage, and, in the case of a raiding and defending proposal, the affected nations must be significant. Most parts of this proposal fulfill these points, except the treaties and the third point under clause 1. The two regions listed under that third point of clause 1 are minor regions, so I don’t see how saving those regions would matter to other regions or nations of the multiverse.

Furthermore, even though the regions signing the treaty are significant enough, why would the rest of the multiverse care about treaties of mutual support, unity, and friendship? After all, it’s unlikely that those types of treaties alter the multiverse that much. With this in mind, the Clevesian Empire requires that the aforementioned problematic areas of your proposal be clarified, modified, or removed before support can be given.”
-Ms. Charlotte Schafer, WA Ambassador for the Clevesian Empire

[The Orwell Society]

“Ambassador, this proposal is a good start. For reference to my suggestions below, here is my SC resolution checklist: there must be no major errors, the target must have done commendable actions that make a significant impact on the international stage, and, in the case of a raiding and defending proposal, the affected nations must be significant. Most parts of this proposal fulfill these points, except the treaties and the third point under clause 1. The two regions listed under that third point of clause 1 are minor regions, so I don’t see how saving those regions would matter to other regions or nations of the multiverse.

Furthermore, even though the regions signing the treaty are significant enough, why would the rest of the multiverse care about treaties of mutual support, unity, and friendship? After all, it’s unlikely that those types of treaties alter the multiverse that much. With this in mind, the Clevesian Empire requires that the aforementioned problematic areas of your proposal be clarified, modified, or removed before support can be given.”
-Ms. Charlotte Schafer, WA Ambassador for the Clevesian Empire

"Thank you for your feedback, Ms. Schafer. It is among the most helpful given so far. Regarding your disapproval of clause 1, I'd have to disagree with your statement about the importance of the regions listed. I have talked to the Wardens, and have read their dispatches and news posts on the topic. It has remained constant that the two regions in question, especially Trovons, are among their proudest accomplishments largely due to the sheer size and popularity of the operations. Though I had not heard of it until recently, most Wardens have agreed that the op in Trovons was of great importance to them. I shall make that more clear in the next draft.

On the mention of the treaties, it seems that too many approve of their removal for them to carry over to the next draft. They will not be present on draft two, I assure you. Thank you again, Ms. Schafer, for you helpful feedback and criticism. It is undeniably a worthy contribution."
-The Orwellian Delegation

[The Orwell Society]

I'd agree that you can get a plethora of more accomplishments, but I'd argue against BBD's bluntness and say this is a decent attempt - and it's good that you've put it here for further analysis.

Blunt is what I do, no point in sugar coating something. If it’s good or the author has made a decent attempt, then I’ll say it and give them support. This is not good and the author has not made a decent attempt.

I assure you, I put quite a bit of effort into the writing of this draft. I have been working practically nonstop for hours researching and talking with the Wardens.

[Anne of Cleves in TNP]

“Ambassador, this proposal is a good start. For reference to my suggestions below, here is my SC resolution checklist: there must be no major errors, the target must have done commendable actions that make a significant impact on the international stage, and, in the case of a raiding and defending proposal, the affected nations must be significant. Most parts of this proposal fulfill these points, except the treaties and the third point under clause 1. The two regions listed under that third point of clause 1 are minor regions, so I don’t see how saving those regions would matter to other regions or nations of the multiverse.

Furthermore, even though the regions signing the treaty are significant enough, why would the rest of the multiverse care about treaties of mutual support, unity, and friendship? After all, it’s unlikely that those types of treaties alter the multiverse that much. With this in mind, the Clevesian Empire requires that the aforementioned problematic areas of your proposal be clarified, modified, or removed before support can be given.”
-Ms. Charlotte Schafer, WA Ambassador for the Clevesian Empire

"Thank you for your feedback, Ms. Schafer. It is among the most helpful given so far. Regarding your disapproval of clause 1, I'd have to disagree with your statement about the importance of the regions listed. I have talked to the Wardens, and have read their dispatches and news posts on the topic. It has remained constant that the two regions in question, especially Trovons, are among their proudest accomplishments largely due to the sheer size and popularity of the operations. Though I had not heard of it until recently, most Wardens have agreed that the op in Trovons was of great importance to them. I shall make that more clear in the next draft.

On the mention of the treaties, it seems that too many approve of their removal for them to carry over to the next draft. They will not be present on draft two, I assure you. Thank you again, Ms. Schafer, for you helpful feedback and criticism. It is undeniably a worthy contribution."
-The Orwellian Delegation

“Well, then since the operations were popular, and since you are removing the treaties part, the Clevesian Empire will support.”
-Ms. Charlotte Schafer, WA Ambassador for the Clevesian Empire

[The Orwell Society]

"Thank you for your feedback, Ms. Schafer. It is among the most helpful given so far. Regarding your disapproval of clause 1, I'd have to disagree with your statement about the importance of the regions listed. I have talked to the Wardens, and have read their dispatches and news posts on the topic. It has remained constant that the two regions in question, especially Trovons, are among their proudest accomplishments largely due to the sheer size and popularity of the operations. Though I had not heard of it until recently, most Wardens have agreed that the op in Trovons was of great importance to them. I shall make that more clear in the next draft.

On the mention of the treaties, it seems that too many approve of their removal for them to carry over to the next draft. They will not be present on draft two, I assure you. Thank you again, Ms. Schafer, for you helpful feedback and criticism. It is undeniably a worthy contribution."
-The Orwellian Delegation

“Well, then since the operations were popular, and since you are removing the treaties part, the Clevesian Empire will support.”
-Ms. Charlotte Schafer, WA Ambassador for the Clevesian Empire

"Thank you, ambassador."