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[Abandoned] Condemn Ambesia

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Embreydo
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Founded: Jul 17, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

[Abandoned] Condemn Ambesia

Postby Embreydo » Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:06 pm

The Security Council,

Noting that nation Ambesia started out in the world and still is a communist corrupt land.

Observing that this nation has made many false accusations to multiple small regions willing to help, but instead, turned against them and destroying the regions into nothingness.

Disturbed that Ambesia has made multiple attempts at coupin regions, yet failing. Coups at the regions' they attempted to coup denied Ambesia access to have any influence.

Disturbed further that this nation's intentions is to take over and collapse many regions.

Alarmed that Ambesia has been caught multiple times trying to coup. Such regions were:

[*]Katzen
[*]Tabeta
[*]Amalgamated Federation
[*]And much more regions which have either falled to Ambesia, or denied Ambesia anything.

Believing that Ambesia's efforts against multiple regions and possible nations whom are worthy of international recognition.

Hereby Condemns Ambesia
Last edited by Embreydo on Tue Nov 16, 2021 9:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

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The Kingdom Of The Three Isles
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Founded: Jun 01, 2021
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Kingdom Of The Three Isles » Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:08 pm

Dismayed that Ambesia abandonded their own region for elsewhere.

Maybe get rid of that. I’m not so good when it comes to recognising errors in proposals but yeah, I don’t think that’s a worldwide issue (the part I quoted)
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Bhang Bhang Duc
Minister
 
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Founded: Dec 17, 2003
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:52 pm

Firstly thank you for drafting your proposal on the forum. However, it all goes downhill after that.

The nominee is not Condemnable - failing to coup a number of regions is incompetence , not an act worthy of recognition by the SC.

Your writing is not particularly good, a few spelling and grammatical errors and some sentences that make no sense at all. But it is legal, surprisingly.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Former Delegate of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs. Currently Guardian and Security Council Advisor for The West Pacific.

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Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

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Embreydo
Political Columnist
 
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Founded: Jul 17, 2021
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Embreydo » Tue Nov 16, 2021 12:01 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Firstly thank you for drafting your proposal on the forum. However, it all goes downhill after that.

The nominee is not Condemnable - failing to coup a number of regions is incompetence , not an act worthy of recognition by the SC.

Your writing is not particularly good, a few spelling and grammatical errors and some sentences that make no sense at all. But it is legal, surprisingly.

Well there is more than just failing to coup regions.

Mind pointing out the spelling and grammatical errors, and the sentences too?

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Outer Sparta
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Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Outer Sparta » Tue Nov 16, 2021 12:20 am

Agree with BBD, your nominee is not condemnable in any way.
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Insidium
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Founded: Nov 10, 2021
Anarchy

Postby Insidium » Tue Nov 16, 2021 2:04 am

Embreydo wrote:Mind pointing out the spelling and grammatical errors, and the sentences too?

I can do that. First off, there seems to be a misspelling in "coupin (sic) regions." Also, past tense is combined with present tense in "turned against them and destroying the regions," creating a confusing effect.
Last edited by Insidium on Tue Nov 16, 2021 2:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Bhang Bhang Duc
Minister
 
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Founded: Dec 17, 2003
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Tue Nov 16, 2021 2:22 am

Okay, it's slice and dice time.

Embreydo wrote:The Security Council,

Noting that nation Ambesia started out in the world and still is a communist corrupt land.

Should read "corrupt, Communist land", of which there are thousands in NS, so definitely not condemnable for that.

Embreydo wrote:Observing that this nation has made many false accusations to multiple small regions willing to help, but instead, turned against them and destroying the regions into nothingness.

Well you have to read this a few times to make some sort of sense of it. What regions is the obvious question and how did the nominee destroy them into nothingness? Just shows a lack of research by you, the author.

Embreydo wrote:Disturbed that Ambesia has made multiple attempts at coupin regions, yet failing. Coups at the regions' they attempted to coup denied Ambesia access to have any influence.

As I said failing to coup multiple regions is a sign of incompetence, not villainy. Again your sentence construction is very poor, causing the reader to read and read again to make sense of it. Couping is also spelt incorrectly.

Embreydo wrote:Disturbed further that this nation's intentions is to take over and collapse many regions.

Second use of "disturbed". Should read "this nation's intention" as they have only one of those. How do you know what they intend? Intentions are not actions and so not Condemnable.

Embreydo wrote:Alarmed that Ambesia has been caught multiple times trying to coup. Such regions were:
[*]Katzen
[*]Tabeta
[*]Amalgamated Federation
[*]And much more regions which have either falled to Ambesia, or denied Ambesia anything.

You have forgotten to use the list commands at the beginning and end of your bullet points and your last point makes little or no sense.

Embreydo wrote:Believing that Ambesia's efforts against multiple regions and possible nations whom are worthy of international recognition.

Hereby Condemns Ambesia

And your final clause again makes little sense.

Actually now that I've done this I find the draft reads worse than I originally thought. There is a lack of research into the nominee, there has been very little attention paid to construction of the proposal and overall it's a bit of a mess.

If you intend to continue with this I suggest you read some of the Condemnations passed by the SC and look at the level of detail, the amount of research and the care taken by the authors of those resolutions.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Tue Nov 16, 2021 2:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
Former Delegate of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs. Currently Guardian and Security Council Advisor for The West Pacific.

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart

Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

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Wayneactia
Minister
 
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Founded: Aug 01, 2014
New York Times Democracy

Postby Wayneactia » Tue Nov 16, 2021 2:39 am

[*]Katzen
[*]Tabeta
[*]Amalgamated Federation
[*]And much more regions which have either falled to Ambesia, or denied Ambesia anything.

Never heard of any of them, and I suspect no one would really give a shit if they were couped or not. Incompetence isn't condemnable.
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