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[DEFEATED] Commend Joe Bobs

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Apatosaurus
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Posts: 231
Founded: Jul 17, 2020
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[DEFEATED] Commend Joe Bobs

Postby Apatosaurus » Sun Oct 03, 2021 4:56 pm

penguins rule

This was previously submitted, but I have withdrawn it for further drafting because people commented more drafting time was needed and multiple regional votes came out against. Submitted here. Go approve!

Character count: 4838

Draft as submitted:
The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions and to the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a member of Q102, where it had already garnered praise for its admirable government policies, especially:
  1. Having one of the most exemplary historians in NationStates, whose works are best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, even documenting foreign aid to the same level of detail,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency that has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs in astonishing levels of detail, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation of Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Showing dedication to utopian policies, notably through its universal healthcare, strong opposition to the death penalty, support of the environment and extensive protections of animal rights,
Delighted by Joe Bobs’ contributions to regional politics within Q102, especially through its work as an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister; its diligence in recruitment helped build Q102 into one of the most active regions of its era and increased its size by over 18% in only 3 months; and its introduction of a formal alliance with Europa, which became such a close ally of Q102 that Q102's community later designated the alliance as one of most valued regional relationships at the time,

Acknowledging that Joe Bobs was a central figure in the creation of the Q102 Hall of Fame, allowing the best contributors to Q102 to be officially recognised, and founded the Q102 University, a place for national leaders learn about various subjects, then going on to teach various subjects there such as Philosophy, Literature and NationStates history,

Applauding Joe Bobs' extraordinary show of leadership and diligence when it founded the Anti-Racism Coalition (ARC) in 2006, which helped in the fight against the reprehnsible ideologies of Nazism and racism; Joe Bobs built the ARC into one of the largest historical inter-regional coalitions, with over 500 individual members and several noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium, and then went on to serve as Chairman (leader) of the ARC,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), working tirelessly to build its community and helping start the innovative form of government known as the "rotatorship", where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power, helping increase regional engagement in an entertaining way,

Hailing Joe Bobs' pivotal role in the creation of the GRA Economy program as President, which encouraged government participation by rewarding regional "cash" for participation, as well as Joe Bobs' reorganisation of the Ministry of Internal Affairs by dividing it into the Ministries of Culture and Activity, allowing for further focus on both departments,

Acclaiming that Joe Bobs played an important role in rebuilding the GRA Defence Forces from a relatively inactive state around 2010 through both recruitment and structural reforms, soon making it a dominant force in defending again,

Cognisant that following the GRA's relaunch in 2014 after years of inactivity, Joe Bobs helped rebuild regional infrastructure by creating legislation that defined judicial procedures, World Assembly Delegate elections, and Speaker succession, ensuring the region had integral procedures in place during its redevelopment,

Celebrating Joe Bobs’ work within the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), where it notably held a very successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014, during which it took action for the FRA to become further involved in the stabilizing of recently raided regions, and hosted the third iteration of FRAVision, a worldwide singing competition that was widely successful and helped promote the FRA,

Extolling Joe Bobs' compiling of the histories of various significant regions, most notably by authoring an in-depth documentation of the history of the GRA known as the "General History of the GRA", and creating a public library in the FRA of the history of multiple important regions such as United Kingdom while Arch-Chancellor; this helped ensure the public accessibilies of regional histories for years to come, and

Believing that while Joe Bobs' flag and national symbol, the penguin, being cute and fluffy is not necessarily enough for interregional recognition, Joe Bobs' achievements in various regions and to the defender cause serve as extraordinary examples of hard work and dedication, and are worthy of the honour,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.
Last edited by Apatosaurus on Sun Nov 14, 2021 10:26 am, edited 79 times in total.
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Apatosaurus
Envoy
 
Posts: 231
Founded: Jul 17, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Apatosaurus » Sun Oct 03, 2021 4:58 pm

Image

The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions and to the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a member of Q102, where it already garnered praise for its admirable government policies, especially:
  1. Having one of the most exemplary historians in NationStates, whose works are best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, even documenting foreign aid to the same level of detail,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency that has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs in astonishing levels of detail, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation of Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Showing dedication to utopian policies, notably through its universal healthcare, strong opposition to the death penalty, support of the environment and extensive protections of animal rights,
Delighted by Joe Bobs’ contributions to regional politics within Q102, especially through its work as an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister; its diligence in recruitment helped build Q102 into one of the most active regions of its era and increased its size by over 18% in only 3 months; and its introduction of a formal alliance with Europa, which became a close ally of Q102 and was notable for its thriving community that encouraged international politics and scientific development,

Dignifying that Joe Bobs created the Q102 University, where national leaders in Q102 could learn about various subjects, then going on to teach various subjects there such as Philosophy, Literature and NationStates history, and was a central figure in the creation of the Q102 Hall of Fame, allowing the best contributors to Q102 to be officially recognised within the region,

Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, once one of the largest inter-regional coalitions, that went on to aid in the fight against the reprehensible ideologies of Nazism and racism, and included over 500 individual members as well as noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), working tirelessly to build its community, most notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” in 2008, an innovative form of government where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power, helping increase regional engagement in an entertaining way,
  2. Building diplomatic relations with many significant regions as Minister of Foreign Affairs, such as The East Pacific, Europeia and 10000 Islands,
  3. Reorganising the Ministry of Internal Affairs as GRA President by dividing it into the Ministries of Culture and Activity, allowing for more focus on both departments and resulting in the creation of the GRA Economy program overseen by Joe Bobs, encouraging government participation by rewarding "cash" for participation, and
  4. Helping to rebuild the GRA Defence Forces from a relatively inactive state around 2010, making it a dominant force in defending again,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ work in helping get the GRA's Foreign Affairs set up after the region was relaunched in 2014 as Minister of Foreign Affairs, building diplomatic relations with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus and the Rejected Realms,

Cognisant that Joe Bobs also helped rebuild much of the region's infrastructure following the relaunch as Speaker and First Minister, most notably the Judiciary, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship,

Celebrating Joe Bobs’ work within the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), participating in countless defensive operations abroad, and more notably holding a very successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014, during which it took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following invasions and hosted the third iteration of FRAVision, a worldwide singing competition that was widely successful and helped promote the FRA,

Extolling Joe Bobs' compiling of the histories of various significant regions, notably by authoring the "General History of the GRA", an in-depth documentation of the history of the GRA, and creating a public library in the FRA of the history of multiple important regions such as United Kingdom while Arch-Chancellor, and

Believing that while Joe Bobs' flag and national symbol, the penguin, is known largely for being cute and fluffy, Joe Bobs' achievements in various regions and the defending cause should not go unrecognised,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.

The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions such as Q102 and the Global Right Alliance, as well as the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a nation of penguins in Q102, where it had garnered praise for its admirable internal and external government policies, most notably:
  1. Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War within the nation of Joe Bobs, to the point of documenting foreign aid to the same level of detail,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs to astonishing levels of detail, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation of Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Being incredibly utopian, notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, support of the environment and extensive protections for animal rights,
Delighted that Joe Bobs became a significant contributor to regional politics within Q102, most notably being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister; Joe Bobs' diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era and increased the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months; and introducing a formal alliance with Europa, which became a close ally of Q102 and was notable for its thriving community that encouraged international politics and scientific development,

Aware that Joe Bobs founded the Q102 University, where national leaders in Q102 learn about various subjects, and then went on to teach various subjects there such as Philosophy, Literature and NationStates history, and was a central figure in the creation of the Q102 Hall of Fame, allowing the best contributors to Q102 to be officially recognised within the region,

Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, one of the largest historic inter-regional coalitions that included over 500 individual members and many noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition went on to aid in the fight against the reprehensible ideologies of Nazism and racism,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), whose community it worked tirelessly to build, notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power, helping increase regional engagement in an entertaining way,
  2. Building diplomatic relations with many significant regions as Minister of Foreign Affairs, such as The East Pacific, Europeia and 10000 Islands,
  3. Reorganising the Ministry of Internal Affairs as President by dividing it into the Ministries of Culture and of Activity, allowing for more focus on both departments which also allowed for the creation of the GRA Economy program overseen by Joe Bobs, encouraging government participation by rewarding "cash" for participation, and
  4. Helping rebuild the GRA Defence Forces (GRADF) from a relatively inactive state around 2010, which helped make the GRADF a dominant force in defending again,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched in 2014, helping get the region up and going after years of inactivity, most notably by serving as Foreign Affairs Minister, building embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus and the Rejected Realms, and serving as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, rebuilding much of the region's infrastructure like the Judiciary, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession; Joe Bobs also managed to restart the rotatorship,

Celebrating that Joe Bobs also contributed to the the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), where it participated in countless defensive operations abroad, and held a very successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; among other things, as Arch-Chancellor Joe Bobs took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following invasions,

Extolling Joe Bobs' work in compiling the histories of various significant regions; Joe Bobs authored the "General History of the GRA", an in-depth documentation of the history of the GRA, and as Arch-Chancellor of the FRA, created a public library of the history of multiple important regions such as United Kingdom, and

Believing that a Commendation is necessary to recognise Joe Bobs' achievements in various regions and the defending cause,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.

The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions such as Q102 and the Global Right Alliance, as well as the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a nation of penguins in Q102, which was then a significant region, where it had garnered praise for its admirable internal and external government policies, most notably:
  1. Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War within the nation of Joe Bobs, to the point of documenting foreign aid to the same level of detail,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs to astonishing levels of detail, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation of Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Being incredibly utopian, notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, support of the environment and extensive protections for animal rights,
Delighted by Joe Bobs' further contributions to the region of Q102, the most notable being:
  1. Founding the Q102 University, where national leaders in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, as well as teaching various subjects such as Philosophy, Literature, and the History of the Multiverse,
  2. Introducing a formal alliance with Europa, a then-well-known region notable for its thriving community that encouraged international politics and scientific development, and became a very close ally of Q102,
  3. Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister; Joe Bobs' diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era, increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months,
Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, at the time one of the largest inter-regional coalitions that included over 500 individual members as well as many then-noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to aid in the fight against the reprehensible ideologies of Nazism and racism,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically famous region, where it worked tirelessly to build and its community, notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power, helping increase regional engagement in an entertaining way,
  2. Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs, building relations with many significant regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and 10000 Islands, and
  3. Helping rebuild the GRA Defence Forces (GRADF) from a relatively inactive state around 2010, which helped make the GRADF a dominant force in defending again,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched in 2014, helping get the region up and going after years of inactivity, most notably by serving as Foreign Affairs Minister, building embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas and the Rejected Realms, and serving as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, rebuilding much of the region's infrastructure like the Judiciary, World Assembly Delegate elections, and Speaker succession; Joe Bobs also managed to restart the rotatorship,

Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by participating in countless defensive operations such as those in Christmas, Slavia and The Hood, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; among other things, as Arch-Chancellor Joe Bobs took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following invasions, and hosted the widely successful 2014 FRAVision event, helping promote the FRA while allowing singers across the world to compete against each other,

Extolling Joe Bobs' work in compiling the histories of various significant regions; for example, Joe Bobs authored the "General History of the GRA", an in-depth documentation of the history of the GRA, and as Arch-Chancellor of the FRA, created a public library of the history of multiple important regions such as Gay and United Kingdom, and

Believing that a Commendation is necessary to recognise Joe Bobs' achievements in various regions and the defending cause,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.

The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions such as Q102 and the Global Right Alliance, as well as the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a nation of penguins in Q102, which was then a significant region, where it had garnered praise for its admirable internal and external government policies, most notably:
  1. Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, which even earned the historians of Joe Bobs a prestigious regional award,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Being incredibly utopian, notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, support of the environment and extensive protections for animal rights,
Delighted by Joe Bobs' further contributions to the region of Q102, the most notable being:
  1. Founding the Q102 University, where national leaders in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, as well as teaching various subjects such as Philosophy, Literature and the History of the Multiverse,
  2. Introducing a formal alliance with Europa, a then-well-known region notable for its thriving community that encouraged international politics and scientific development, and became a very close ally of Q102,
  3. Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister; Joe Bobs' diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era, increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months; this also earned Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term,
Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, at the time one of the largest inter-regional coalitions that included over 500 individual members as well as many then-noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to aid in the fight against the reprehensible ideologies of Nazism and racism,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically famous region, where it worked tirelessly to build and its community, notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power, helping increase regional engagement in an entertaining way,
  2. Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs, building relations with many significant regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia and 10000 Islands, and
  3. Helping rebuild the GRA Defence Forces (GRADF) from a relatively inactive state around 2010, which helped make the GRADF a dominant force in defending again,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched in 2014, helping get the region up and going after years of inactivity, most notably by:
  1. Being one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas and the Rejected Realms, and
  2. Serving as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, rebuilding much of the region's infrastructure like the Judiciary, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession; Joe Bobs also managed to restart the rotatorship,
Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by participating in countless defensive operations such as those in Christmas, Slavia and The Hood, and holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; during that term, among other things, Joe Bobs took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following an invasion,

Applauding Joe Bobs for compiling the histories of various significant regions, notably though the authorship of the General History of the GRA, an in-depth documentation of the GRA's history, and the creation of a public library within the FRA of the histories of significant regions (such as Gay and United Kingdom) as Arch-Chancellor; this helped ensure the public accessibility of the history of significant regions for years to come, and

Believing that a Commendation is necessary to recognise their achievements in various regions and the defending cause,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.

The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions such as Q102 and the Global Right Alliance, as well as the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a native nation of penguins in Q102, a then-historically significant region, where it had already garnered praise for its admirable internal and external government policies, most notably:
  1. Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, their skills best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, which even earned the historians of Joe Bobs a prestigeous regional award,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency, which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Being an incredibly utopian nation, notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, support of the environment and extensive protections for animal rights,
Delighted by Joe Bobs' further contributions to the region of Q102, most notably by:
  1. Founding the Q102 University, where the national leaders in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, then going on to teach various subjects in there such as Philosophy, Literature, and the History of the Multiverse,
  2. Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a well-known region at the time which at its peak had over 300 nations, and
  3. Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006; Joe Bobs' diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era, increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months; this also earned Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term,
Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, at the time one of the largest inter-regional coalitions that included over 500 individual members as well as many then-noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to aid in the fight against the reprehensible ideologies of Nazism and racism,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically famous region at the time, where it worked tirelessly to build and its community, notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for that week, helping increase regional engagement in an entertaining way,
  2. Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010, notably building foreign relations with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and 10000 Islands, and
  3. Helping rebuild the GRA Defence Forces (GRADF) in 2010 from a relatively inactive state, which helped make the GRADF a dominant force in defending again,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched in 2014, helping get the region up and going after years of inactivity, most notably by:
  1. Being one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms, and
  2. Serving as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, where it rebuilt much of the region's infrastructure, including the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession; Joe Bobs also managed to restart the rotatorship,
Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving in various government positions, participating in countless anti-raider operations such as those in Christmas, Slavia and The Hood, and holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; during that term, among other things, it was Joe Bobs who took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following an invasion,

Applauding Joe Bobs for compiling the histories of various significant regions, including but not limited to the authorship of the General History of the GRA, an in-depth documentation of the GRA's history, and the creation of a public library within the FRA of the histories of significant regions (such as Gay and United Kingdom) as Arch-Chancellor; this helped ensure the public accessibility of the history of significant regions for years to come, and

Believing that a Commendation is necessary to recognise Joe Bobs' contributions to various regions and the defending cause,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.

The Security Council,

Noting that Joe Bobs has been an exemplary contributor to various historically significant regions such as Q102 and the Global Right Alliance, as well as the noble cause of defending,

Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a native nation of penguins in Q102, a then-historically significant region, where it had already garnered praise for their admirable internal and external government policies, most notably:
  1. Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, their skills best displayed through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, which even earned the historians of Joe Bobs a prestigeous regional award,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency, which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Being an incredibly utopian nation, most notably through its dedication to universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, strong support of eco-friendly policy and extensive protections for animal rights,
Delighted by Joe Bobs' further contributions to the region of Q102, most notably by:
  1. Founding the Q102 University, where the leaders of nations in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, then going on to teach various subjects in there such as Philosophy, Literature, and the History of the Multiverse,
  2. Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a well-known region at the time which at its peak had over 300 nations, and
  3. Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006; Joe Bobs' diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era, increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months; this also earned Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term,
Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, which at the time was one of the largest inter-regional coalitions and included over 500 individual members as well as many then-noteworthy regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to aid in the fight against the reprehensible ideologies of Nazism and racism,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically famous region at the time, where it worked tirelessly to build and its community, notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each week a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for that week, helping to increase engagement in the government in an entertaining way,
  2. Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010, notably building foreign relations with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and 10000 Islands,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched in 2014, helping get the region up and going after years of inactivity, most notably by:
  1. Being one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,
  2. Serving as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, where it rebuilt much of the region's infrastructure, including the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession; Joe Bobs also managed to restart the rotatorship, and
  3. Authoring the General History of the GRA, a public document that explained in-depth much of the early history of the GRA,
Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to The Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA), where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving in various government positions, participating in countless anti-raider operations such as those in Christmas, Slavia and The Hood, and holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; during that term, Joe Bobs compiled a public library of the history of many significant regions and took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following an invasion, and

Believing that Joe Bobs' contributions to various regions and the defending cause are worth of recognition by this august body, and that a Commendation is necessary to recognise its accomplishments,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.

The Security Council,

Noting that many nations that have contributed to NationStates in an outstanding capacity have been overlooked by this institution, and that Joe Bobs is an example of one such nation that has contributed to a multitude of regions and the defending cause,

Recalling the beginnings of Joe Bobs as a native nation of penguins in Q102, a historically important region it significantly contributed to by:
  1. Founding the Q102 University, where the leaders of nations in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, and then going on to teach various subjects in the Q102 University such as Philosophy, Literature, and the History of the Multiverse,
  2. Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a significant and well-known region at the time, as well as opening embassies with at the time well-known defender regions Allied States of EuroIslanders and The Proletariat Coalition, and
  3. Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006, where its diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions in its era, earning it the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term, and increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months,
Delighted by the internal and external government policies of Joe Bobs, most notably by:
  1. Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, most notably through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, which earned the historians of Joe Bobs a regional award,
  2. Running an extremely reliable News Agency, which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and
  3. Being one of the most utopic nations, most notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, strong support of eco-friendly policy and extensive protections for animal rights,
Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, which at the time was one of the largest inter-regional coalitions and included over 500 individual members as well as many then-significant regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to help fight the reprehensible ideology of Nazism and racism,

Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically significant region it worked tirelessly to build and its community after joining, notably by:
  1. Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each month a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for 5 days, which helped increase engagement in the government in an entertaining way,
  2. Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010; notably during its leadership, among other things, relations were built with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, Unknown, and well-known defender region 10000 Islands,
Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:
  1. Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,
  2. Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014; Joe Bobs’ leadership was so effective that much of the region's infrastructure was built during its leadership, such as the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and
  3. Authored the General History of the GRA, a public document which explained in-depth much of the early history of the GRA,
Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by:
  1. Participating in countless important operations to protect native communities worldwide, such as those in Christmas, The Hood, Slavia and The League of the United Nations,
  2. Serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Vice Chancellor, the latter following the resignation of Jonewest, filling the then-vacant position, and
  3. Holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion; and

Believing that Joe Bobs' contributions to various regions, and the defending cause, deserve recognition by this august body, and that a Commendation is necessary to recognise its accomplishments,

Hereby Commends Joe Bobs.
Last edited by Apatosaurus on Sun Oct 31, 2021 6:00 pm, edited 11 times in total.
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Sun Oct 03, 2021 5:00 pm

NOOT NOOT!

(Support in principle. Regarding PRAISING (ii), I doubt it's necessary to clarify that the Vice-Chancellory was vacant when its holder had already resigned.)
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Postby Apatosaurus » Sun Oct 03, 2021 5:03 pm

Tinhampton wrote:NOOT NOOT!

(Support in principle. Regarding PRAISING (ii), I doubt it's necessary to clarify that the Vice-Chancellory was vacant when its holder had already resigned.)

Done, thanks!
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Postby Comfed » Sun Oct 03, 2021 5:55 pm

It’s very listy.

And the organization is confusing, why is the RP bit in between two unrelated clauses?
Last edited by Comfed on Sun Oct 03, 2021 5:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Apatosaurus » Sun Oct 03, 2021 6:02 pm

Comfed wrote:why is the RP bit in between two unrelated clauses?

Mainly because it's Q102 regional roleplay (not like, II roleplay), and putting it right after the Recalling section implies that it's at least related (especially as it's in chronological order). That said, I could move it before the Recalling clause and reword the beginning of Recalling?
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Postby Comfed » Sun Oct 03, 2021 6:37 pm

Apatosaurus wrote:
Comfed wrote:why is the RP bit in between two unrelated clauses?

Mainly because it's Q102 regional roleplay (not like, II roleplay), and putting it right after the Recalling section implies that it's at least related (especially as it's in chronological order). That said, I could move it before the Recalling clause and reword the beginning of Recalling?

Good idea.
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Postby Apatosaurus » Sun Oct 03, 2021 7:00 pm

Comfed wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Mainly because it's Q102 regional roleplay (not like, II roleplay), and putting it right after the Recalling section implies that it's at least related (especially as it's in chronological order). That said, I could move it before the Recalling clause and reword the beginning of Recalling?

Good idea.

Done now.

EDIT: I also removed mention of the liberation of The League of the United Nations as that region is now owned by an OOC reprehensible region and as LUN was not historically significant, mentioning it would only give attention to said OOC reprehensible region.

EDIT 2: Removed that section entirely because apparently I'm over the character limit now >_>
Last edited by Apatosaurus on Sun Oct 03, 2021 7:07 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Sun Oct 03, 2021 7:10 pm

You’re gonna lose votes by mentioning TPC and EuroIslanders so it would be better for you to choose different examples
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Postby ROM » Sun Oct 03, 2021 9:47 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:You’re gonna lose votes by mentioning TPC and EuroIslanders so it would be better for you to choose different examples

I'd also note that opening embassies isn't really Commend-worthy either. JB is deserving of this, but this comes off as a little too list heavy. I'd highly recommend putting a little more character into this, and explaining in more detail what Joe Bobs did in those roles and why they should be Commended. If you can fix it up a little bit, I'd 100% support this.. JB taught me quite a bit of the GP things when noob Rom joined GRA in 2014 ~
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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Sun Oct 03, 2021 10:26 pm

ROM wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:You’re gonna lose votes by mentioning TPC and EuroIslanders so it would be better for you to choose different examples

I'd also note that opening embassies isn't really Commend-worthy either. JB is deserving of this, but this comes off as a little too list heavy. I'd highly recommend putting a little more character into this, and explaining in more detail what Joe Bobs did in those roles and why they should be Commended. If you can fix it up a little bit, I'd 100% support this.. JB taught me quite a bit of the GP things when noob Rom joined GRA in 2014 ~

Yep, basically just get rid of the excess filler and add more commend-worthy content.
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Oct 04, 2021 12:15 am

Meatloaf time again.

An excess of filler and a dearth of Commendable activities. Did you learn nothing from your last attempt at an SC proposal?

Edit: there is some good stuff in the draft, but it’s hidden amongst the dross. Work on emphasizing these aspects of their career and cut out the superfluous stuff - quite often less is more.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Mon Oct 04, 2021 12:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Tinhampton » Mon Oct 04, 2021 1:27 am

I'm with Honey regarding cutting out the mentions of TPC and ASE.
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Postby Thousand Branches » Mon Oct 04, 2021 11:13 am

Apatosaurus wrote:Noting that many nations that have contributed to NationStates in an outstanding capacity have been overlooked by this institution, and that Joe Bobs is an example of one such nation that has contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom,

I’m not sure if it’s a wonderful start to begin with “this institution has ignored this person”. Like there’s always new people that haven’t been condemned/commended, this guy is no exception, so it’s kind of weird to specifically point out the failings of the Security Council. I feel like it doesn’t really highlight that Joe Bobs is awesome, it just says he deserves a commend for being so ignored for all this time. You know what I mean? Just feel like you could do something different here.

Apatosaurus wrote: Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a native nation of penguins in Q102, a then-historically significant region, during which it already had praiseworthy internal and external government policies, especially:

Hmm I think “then-“ is unnecessary considering you already established it as significant in history and not necessarily in a modern context (alternatively you could remove “historically”, either way works).

You aren’t talking about time anymore after the mention of Q102, so “during which it had” should be “where it had already exhibited” or something similar. what might be even better would be “where they had already garnered praise for their admirable internal and external government policies”. Works better.

I don’t like “especially” here either. Maybe you could do “especially in”? Otherwise find a different word, especially has more than one context and this makes the clause confusing

Apatosaurus wrote: Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, most notably through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, which earned the historians of Joe Bobs a regional award,

Again, weird grammar here. “most notably through” doesn’t make any sense since it’s referring to a person (historian). Better would be something like “their skills best displayed through”.

Also maybe “a prestigious regional award”? Anyone can earn small regional awards. Not everyone can earn a prestigious award. Give it an adjective, yes?

Apatosaurus wrote: Running an extremely reliable News Agency, which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and

“Attempt” is unnecessary, you already established it was failed and that it existed. Also how is this different than the historian clause? Are they not both recording history? Why make two separate clauses?

Apatosaurus wrote: Being one of the most utopic nations, most notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, strong support of eco-friendly policy and extensive protections for animal rights,

Is this supposed to be a section commending stats? If so, they are not remotely commendable. If not, what the heck is this referring to?

As for grammatically, “being one of the most utopic nations” is clunky as hell and also as a side note, “utopian” would be the more correct term. But something like “being an incredibly utopian nation, dedicated to its universal… etc etc” would be oodles better. Oh my god I just typed oodles, I’m leaving it there now, enjoy.

Apatosaurus wrote: Delighted by Joe Bobs' further contributions to the region of Q102, especially:

Again, the use of “especially” here makes me writer brain sad. Like just stop and don’t think of this as a list. Does “Delighted by Joe Bob’s further contributions to the region of Q102, especially founding the Q102 university and also introducing an alliance and also being really good with immigration” make sense? Maybe a little but it certainly doesn’t sound good. “Especially in” again would be the correct grammar there but I really feel like that could just be changed outright to sound a lot better.

Apatosaurus wrote: Founding the Q102 University, a place (or maybe “a community” where the leaders of nations in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, and then going on to teach various subjects in the Q102 University such as Philosophy, Literature, and the History of the Multiverse,


“And then” can be deleted

“In the Q102 University” would be better as simply “there” or “in the institution” or “in the University”. Shorten it a tad, you already established the subject at the beginning

Apatosaurus wrote: Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a significant and well-known region at the time, as well as opening embassies with at the time well-known defender regions Allied States of EuroIslanders and The Proletariat Coalition, and

“significant and” can be removed. “Well known” does the job on its own.

“With at the time well known defender regions” might be the clunkiest phrase known to man. Kidding but also not, this could really use a change. “With two formerly prominent defender regions,” or for a little spice, replace “formerly” with erstwhile. You know me, always trying to hit em with that spice.

Apatosaurus wrote: Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006, where its diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions in its era, earning it the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term, and increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months,

“Active regions in its era” should be “active regions of its era”.

You changed subjects here, so re-establish that you are referring to Joe Bobs (earning Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding… etc etc)

Apatosaurus wrote: Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, which at the time was one of the largest inter-regional coalitions and included over 500 individual members as well as many then-significant regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to help fight the reprehensible ideology of Nazism and racism,

Boooo find a more creative word than significant (you’ve already used it a couple times). Maybe noteworthy or powerful or important or compelling or straight up big or substantial. The world is full of wonderful words. Mix it up a little.

“help fight” would sound so much cooler as “aid in the fight against” Also “ideology” should be plural, you mention two of them.

Apatosaurus wrote: Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically significant region it worked tirelessly to build and its community after joining, notably by:

Don’t think “historically significant” is necessary. Clearly at this point everything is historically significant or it wouldn’t be in a commendation :p

Might even be better if you replaced all of “a historically significant region it worked tirelessly to build and its community after joining, notably by” (all of it sounds real weird). How about a more active voice: “where Joe Bobs (or it) worked tirelessly to build the region and its community by:”

Apatosaurus wrote: Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each month a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for 5 days, which helped increase engagement in the government in an entertaining way,

“which helped” should be “helping to”

Apatosaurus wrote: Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010; notably during its leadership, among other things, relations were built with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and well-known defender region 10000 Islands,

Oh boy uh “; notably during its leadership, among other things, relations were built with” can be replaced with “and building relations (or foreign relations) with”.

“well-known defender region” is totally unnecessary. They are well known, everybody knows that, you don’t need to point it out. Really a tiny glance at the largest regions would tell ya. Yeah just get rid of that, declutter the clunk.

Apatosaurus wrote: Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:

Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,

Getting right to the point, combine these two lists. They have no business being two separate lists. Sure it’s two iterations of the same region, but is the fact that the region relaunched really that important? Important enough to warrant a random separation in a list about one region? I’d say no. If you really want to mention it, just start the next item with “Continuing to serve the region after its relaunch in 2014, once again serving as Foreign Affairs minister and during its term, building embassies… etc etc”. In fact, yeah do this so it doesn’t sound like you’re just mentioning two terms as FA as separate items for no reason.

Apatosaurus wrote: Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014; Joe Bobs’ leadership was so effective that much of the region's infrastructure was built, rebuilding much of the region’s infrastructure during its leadership, such as including the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and


Apatosaurus wrote: Authored the General History of the GRA, a public document which explained in-depth much of the early history of the GRA,

“Which” should be “that”.

Apatosaurus wrote: Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by, in addition to serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, and participating in countless anti-raider operations, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion, and

“Which it joined through the Global Right Alliance” is unnecessary. Doesn’t really matter how they got there, just that they were there and what they did there.

Remove comma after “abroad” and after the first utterance of “Chancellor”.

This clause needs some work. There are so many small things that I’m just gonna rewrite the clause and give you my edited version, cool?

“Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, participating in countless anti-raider operations, and by holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; during that term, Joe Bobs compiled a public library of the history of many significant regions and took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following an invasion, and”

Look good? Mostly everything was small grammar changes rather than any content changes.

Apatosaurus wrote: Believing that Joe Bobs' contributions to various regions and the defending cause deserve recognition by this august body, and that a Commendation is necessary to recognise its accomplishments,

Maybe instead of “deserve” try “are worthy of”? Deserve sounds arrogant :p

I am so sorry for all these edits (also if I sounded mean at all, I apologize, I promise I’m just teasing :p). Hope this was helpful!

Have a great day~

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Giovanniland
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Postby Giovanniland » Mon Oct 04, 2021 4:25 pm

Some feedback:

Apatosaurus wrote:Noting that many nations that have contributed to NationStates in an outstanding capacity have been overlooked by this institution, and that Joe Bobs is an example of one such nation that has contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom,

I echo Thousand Branches's comment here, and sometimes brief introductions are better than a long clause so you could potentially save some characters (which I see you need) by writing something like this: "Noting Joe Bobs as an example of a nation that has vastly contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom;"

Apatosaurus wrote:Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a significant and well-known region at the time, as well as opening embassies with at the time well-known defender regions Allied States of EuroIslanders and The Proletariat Coalition, and

I think I talked about this in the WA discord server before, but I'll again comment that ASE and TPC should likely be removed, especially seeing as at least two other WA authors have also commented the same thing here. The Q102-Europa part can stay though; perhaps you could mention that Europa had nearly 300 nations (or that its delegate had over 50 endorsements) at one point in NS history, as example of its significancy.

Apatosaurus wrote:Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, which at the time was one of the largest inter-regional coalitions and included over 500 individual members as well as many then-significant regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to help fight the reprehensible ideology of Nazism and racism,

I think you should probably mention some military operations in which Joe Bobs led the Coalition against racist and Nazi regions, since "went on to help fight the reprehensible ideology of Nazism and racism" sounds too vague.

Apatosaurus wrote:Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:

"It" at the end of the clause should be "Joe Bobs" instead, otherwise it looks like all the items are referring to the region and not the nation, which doesn't make sense at all.

Apatosaurus wrote:Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by, in addition to serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, and participating in countless anti-raider operations, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion, and

Like it was pointed above, this clause has too much going on and should be reworked. But I'd like to offer some additional comments: the clause doesn't explain what Joe Bobs did as Regional Liaison Officer, nor does it name some of the more notable "countless anti-raider operations". Of course, given the detail you'd need to include here, it might be best to split the latter part of the clause into a new one.
Last edited by Giovanniland on Mon Oct 04, 2021 4:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sedgistan
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Postby Sedgistan » Tue Oct 05, 2021 4:50 am

Apatosaurus wrote:Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each month a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for 5 days, which helped increase engagement in the government in an entertaining way,

The original Rotatorship alternated turns as "absolute Rotator" - it wasn't 5 days in a month, it was something like a week per person, switching immediately from one until the next, working down a list. It was the best idea ever for running a region, but only lasted about four turns until the inevitable final Rotator used their absolute powers to prolong their stay in power indefinitely, and the system collapsed.
Apatosaurus wrote:[Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010; notably during its leadership, among other things, relations were built with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and well-known defender region 10000 Islands,

Feels a bit weak. The 2010 revival was massive for the region, and opening a few embassies isn't really much to shout about. It's too long ago for me to recall details of exactly what JB did, but he was more widely involved than just that. I was the chief architect of the revival, but JB was one of the others who put significant amounts of work into it and provided leadership in areas. Pretty sure he had a role in helping getting the military (GRADF) active again too.

Apatosaurus wrote:Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:
  1. Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,
  2. Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014; Joe Bobs’ leadership was so effective that much of the region's infrastructure was built during its leadership, such as the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and
  3. Authored the General History of the GRA, a public document which explained in-depth much of the early history of the GRA,

The GRA was a nothingburger after I quit, the brief 2014 revival a pale shadow of its former glories. The GRA's history was one of lurching from one dysfunctional crisis to another, all while everyone acted as though they hated each other, while actually (mostly) enjoying the whole charade. There's only three notable or significant parts of the GRA's history: 1) the original government and Northern Chittowa's role in founding the FRA, 2) the brief original Rotatorship, 3) the 2010 revival. The rest of the time the region was either inactive or squabbling internally.

Apatosaurus wrote:Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by, in addition to serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, and participating in countless anti-raider operations, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion, and

2014 was several years past my involvement in the FRA, so I don't have my dates fully in order, but my understanding was that the FRA was in terminal decline by this point, with successive AC's managing brief flurries of activity (if any) and at most only prolonging the inevitable. Did you get input from people like Fratt, Wop, Karp etc. on this?

I think you need to make more of the recording of histories, as that's a massively important, yet frequently overlooked and underrated, role in NationStates. So much history is lost without people actively doing this, and JB is one of the few who has put serious time into recording the histories of the places he had been involved.

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Postby Apatosaurus » Tue Oct 05, 2021 1:22 pm

Honeydewistania wrote:You’re gonna lose votes by mentioning TPC and EuroIslanders so it would be better for you to choose different examples

Tinhampton wrote:I'm with Honey regarding cutting out the mentions of TPC and ASE.

Giovanniland wrote:I think I talked about this in the WA discord server before, but I'll again comment that ASE and TPC should likely be removed, especially seeing as at least two other WA authors have also commented the same thing here.


While I personally leant for keeping them, since it's recieved enough criticism I've axed it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Noting that many nations that have contributed to NationStates in an outstanding capacity have been overlooked by this institution, and that Joe Bobs is an example of one such nation that has contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom,

I’m not sure if it’s a wonderful start to begin with “this institution has ignored this person”. Like there’s always new people that haven’t been condemned/commended, this guy is no exception, so it’s kind of weird to specifically point out the failings of the Security Council. I feel like it doesn’t really highlight that Joe Bobs is awesome, it just says he deserves a commend for being so ignored for all this time. You know what I mean? Just feel like you could do something different here.

Alright, I changed it :p

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Recalling Joe Bobs' beginnings as a native nation of penguins in Q102, a then-historically significant region, during which it already had praiseworthy internal and external government policies, especially:

Hmm I think “then-“ is unnecessary considering you already established it as significant in history and not necessarily in a modern context (alternatively you could remove “historically”, either way works).

Yeah it matters because now (i.e. over a decade later) it's just a dead backwater only notable because a game admin has their nation in it.

Thousand Branches wrote:You aren’t talking about time anymore after the mention of Q102, so “during which it had” should be “where it had already exhibited” or something similar. what might be even better would be “where they had already garnered praise for their admirable internal and external government policies”. Works better.

Done.

Thousand Branches wrote:I don’t like “especially” here either. Maybe you could do “especially in”? Otherwise find a different word, especially has more than one context and this makes the clause confusing

Changed with "most notably"

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Having one of the most reliable historians in NationStates, most notably through the incredibly well-detailed documentation of the Bobbian Civil War, which earned the historians of Joe Bobs a regional award,

Again, weird grammar here. “most notably through” doesn’t make any sense since it’s referring to a person (historian). Better would be something like “their skills best displayed through”.

Done.

Thousand Branches wrote:Also maybe “a prestigious regional award”? Anyone can earn small regional awards. Not everyone can earn a prestigious award. Give it an adjective, yes?

True, fixed it.

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Running an extremely reliable News Agency, which has recorded much of the history of Joe Bobs, from the attempted invasion by the neighbouring nation Mweeha to a failed military coup d’etat attempt, and

“Attempt” is unnecessary, you already established it was failed and that it existed. Also how is this different than the historian clause? Are they not both recording history? Why make two separate clauses?

Yes, it's very different. One was a mega-roleplay that Joe Bobs ran in Q102 which was incredibly active and significant, and the "news agency" is largely about reliably reporting IC more minor events.

Apatosaurus wrote: Being one of the most utopic nations, most notably through its universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, strong support of eco-friendly policy and extensive protections for animal rights,

Is this supposed to be a section commending stats? If so, they are not remotely commendable. If not, what the heck is this referring to? [/quote]
The whole clause is about roleplay lol

Thousand Branches wrote:As for grammatically, “being one of the most utopic nations” is clunky as hell and also as a side note, “utopian” would be the more correct term. But something like “being an incredibly utopian nation, dedicated to its universal… etc etc” would be oodles better. Oh my god I just typed oodles, I’m leaving it there now, enjoy.

Fixed lol

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Delighted by Joe Bobs' further contributions to the region of Q102, especially:

Again, the use of “especially” here makes me writer brain sad. Like just stop and don’t think of this as a list. Does “Delighted by Joe Bob’s further contributions to the region of Q102, especially founding the Q102 university and also introducing an alliance and also being really good with immigration” make sense? Maybe a little but it certainly doesn’t sound good. “Especially in” again would be the correct grammar there but I really feel like that could just be changed outright to sound a lot better.

Alright, changed it to "most notably through"

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Founding the Q102 University, a place (or maybe “a community” where the leaders of nations in Q102 could meet to learn about various subjects, and then going on to teach various subjects in the Q102 University such as Philosophy, Literature, and the History of the Multiverse,


“And then” can be deleted

“In the Q102 University” would be better as simply “there” or “in the institution” or “in the University”. Shorten it a tad, you already established the subject at the beginning

Fixed-ish.

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a significant and well-known region at the time, as well as opening embassies with at the time well-known defender regions Allied States of EuroIslanders and The Proletariat Coalition, and

“significant and” can be removed. “Well known” does the job on its own.

Sure, but added a bit more detail as per what Gio pointed out (fun fact: Europa's community is largely still around in [reigon]Eurth[/region] now).

Thousand Branches wrote:“With at the time well known defender regions” might be the clunkiest phrase known to man. Kidding but also not, this could really use a change. “With two formerly prominent defender regions,” or for a little spice, replace “formerly” with erstwhile. You know me, always trying to hit em with that spice.

Well, given that that part has been axed entirely...

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006, where its diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions in its era, earning it the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term, and increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months,

“Active regions in its era” should be “active regions of its era”.

You changed subjects here, so re-establish that you are referring to Joe Bobs (earning Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding… etc etc)

Done.

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Applauding Joe Bobs' founding of the Anti-Racism Coalition in 2006, which at the time was one of the largest inter-regional coalitions and included over 500 individual members as well as many then-significant regions such as The New Meritocracy and Belgium; the Anti-Racism Coalition then went on to help fight the reprehensible ideology of Nazism and racism,

Boooo find a more creative word than significant (you’ve already used it a couple times). Maybe noteworthy or powerful or important or compelling or straight up big or substantial. The world is full of wonderful words. Mix it up a little.

“help fight” would sound so much cooler as “aid in the fight against” Also “ideology” should be plural, you mention two of them.

Lol done.

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Impressed by Joe Bobs' significant contributions to the Global Right Alliance (GRA), a historically significant region it worked tirelessly to build and its community after joining, notably by:

Don’t think “historically significant” is necessary. Clearly at this point everything is historically significant or it wouldn’t be in a commendation :p

True, but the GRA was also a very important region at the time and literally co-founded one of the longest-lasting defender organisations. That said, I reworded it :p

Thousand Branches wrote:Might even be better if you replaced all of “a historically significant region it worked tirelessly to build and its community after joining, notably by” (all of it sounds real weird). How about a more active voice: “where Joe Bobs (or it) worked tirelessly to build the region and its community by:”

Reworded it

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each month a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for 5 days, which helped increase engagement in the government in an entertaining way,

“which helped” should be “helping to”

Done.

Thousand Branches wrote:
Thousand Branches wrote:Oh boy uh “; notably during its leadership, among other things, relations were built with” can be replaced with “and building relations (or foreign relations) with”.


“well-known defender region” is totally unnecessary. They are well known, everybody knows that, you don’t need to point it out. Really a tiny glance at the largest regions would tell ya. Yeah just get rid of that, declutter the clunk.

k. (though that said, Europeia and TEP are definitely not defender regions :p)

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:

Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,

Getting right to the point, combine these two lists. They have no business being two separate lists. Sure it’s two iterations of the same region, but is the fact that the region relaunched really that important? Important enough to warrant a random separation in a list about one region? I’d say no. If you really want to mention it, just start the next item with “Continuing to serve the region after its relaunch in 2014, once again serving as Foreign Affairs minister and during its term, building embassies… etc etc”.

Yes, because JB arguably did about as much in the pre-relaunch GRA and the GRA after the relaunch.

Apatosaurus wrote: Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014; Joe Bobs’ leadership was so effective that much of the region's infrastructure was built, rebuilding much of the region’s infrastructure during its leadership, such as including the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and


Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Authored the General History of the GRA, a public document which explained in-depth much of the early history of the GRA,

“Which” should be “that”.

Ok.

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote: Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by, in addition to serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, and participating in countless anti-raider operations, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion, and

“Which it joined through the Global Right Alliance” is unnecessary. Doesn’t really matter how they got there, just that they were there and what they did there.

Remove comma after “abroad” and after the first utterance of “Chancellor”.

This clause needs some work. There are so many small things that I’m just gonna rewrite the clause and give you my edited version, cool?

“Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, participating in countless anti-raider operations, and by holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; during that term, Joe Bobs compiled a public library of the history of many significant regions and took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following an invasion, and”

Look good? Mostly everything was small grammar changes rather than any content changes.

Done :>

Thousand Branches wrote:Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, participating in countless anti-raider operations, and by holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; during that term, Joe Bobs compiled a public library of the history of many significant regions and took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions during the chaos following an invasion, and
Apatosaurus wrote: Believing that Joe Bobs' contributions to various regions and the defending cause deserve recognition by this august body, and that a Commendation is necessary to recognise its accomplishments,

Maybe instead of “deserve” try “are worthy of”? Deserve sounds arrogant :p

Ok xD

Thousand Branches wrote:I am so sorry for all these edits (also if I sounded mean at all, I apologize, I promise I’m just teasing :p). Hope this was helpful!

Have a great day~

-A

Thanks Aramantha!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As to Gio's feedback:

Giovanniland wrote:Some feedback:

Apatosaurus wrote:Noting that many nations that have contributed to NationStates in an outstanding capacity have been overlooked by this institution, and that Joe Bobs is an example of one such nation that has contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom,

I echo Thousand Branches's comment here, and sometimes brief introductions are better than a long clause so you could potentially save some characters (which I see you need) by writing something like this: "Noting Joe Bobs as an example of a nation that has vastly contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom;"

Yeah I already fixed that clause.

Giovanniland wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Introducing the Q102-Europa alliance, which strengthened relations with a significant and well-known region at the time, as well as opening embassies with at the time well-known defender regions Allied States of EuroIslanders and The Proletariat Coalition, and

I think I talked about this in the WA discord server before, but I'll again comment that ASE and TPC should likely be removed, especially seeing as at least two other WA authors have also commented the same thing here. The Q102-Europa part can stay though; perhaps you could mention that Europa had nearly 300 nations (or that its delegate had over 50 endorsements) at one point in NS history, as example of its significancy.

As I said before, I decided to remove the RLA regions at the end of the day. I also added that stuff about Europa.

Giovanniland wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:

"It" at the end of the clause should be "Joe Bobs" instead, otherwise it looks like all the items are referring to the region and not the nation, which doesn't make sense at all.

Okay xD

Giovanniland wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by, in addition to serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, and participating in countless anti-raider operations, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion, and

Like it was pointed above, this clause has too much going on and should be reworked. But I'd like to offer some additional comments: the clause doesn't explain what Joe Bobs did as Regional Liaison Officer

Honest, not much tbh lol.

Giovanniland wrote:nor does it name some of the more notable "countless a+nti-raider operations".

I mentioned a few before, but decided to remove it as per:
Apatosaurus wrote:EDIT: I also removed mention of the liberation of The League of the United Nations as that region is now owned by an OOC reprehensible region and as LUN was not historically significant, mentioning it would only give attention to said OOC reprehensible region.

EDIT 2: Removed that section entirely because apparently I'm over the character limit now >_>

That said, since I'm further from the character limit now, I could add more on that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ROM wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:You’re gonna lose votes by mentioning TPC and EuroIslanders so it would be better for you to choose different examples

I'd also note that opening embassies isn't really Commend-worthy either. JB is deserving of this, but this comes off as a little too list heavy. I'd highly recommend putting a little more character into this, and explaining in more detail what Joe Bobs did in those roles and why they should be Commended. If you can fix it up a little bit, I'd 100% support this.. JB taught me quite a bit of the GP things when noob Rom joined GRA in 2014 ~

Thanks, I'll work on that soon ^^

Sedgistan wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Helping start the “rotatorship” around 2008, an innovative form of government where each month a ruler would be chosen to have absolute power over the GRA for 5 days, which helped increase engagement in the government in an entertaining way,

The original Rotatorship alternated turns as "absolute Rotator" - it wasn't 5 days in a month, it was something like a week per person, switching immediately from one until the next, working down a list. It was the best idea ever for running a region, but only lasted about four turns until the inevitable final Rotator used their absolute powers to prolong their stay in power indefinitely, and the system collapsed.

:pensive:

Okay, fixed.

Apatosaurus wrote:[Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010; notably during its leadership, among other things, relations were built with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and well-known defender region 10000 Islands,

Feels a bit weak. The 2010 revival was massive for the region, and opening a few embassies isn't really much to shout about. It's too long ago for me to recall details of exactly what JB did, but he was more widely involved than just that. I was the chief architect of the revival, but JB was one of the others who put significant amounts of work into it and provided leadership in areas. Pretty sure he had a role in helping getting the military (GRADF) active again too.[/quote]
As above, I'll do more research/work on that soon and intend to post a new draft with said changes later this week!

Sedgistan wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Acclaiming Joe Bobs’ further contributions to the GRA after the region was relaunched after years of inactivity in 2014; after the relaunch, it:
  1. Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,
  2. Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014; Joe Bobs’ leadership was so effective that much of the region's infrastructure was built during its leadership, such as the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and
  3. Authored the General History of the GRA, a public document which explained in-depth much of the early history of the GRA,

The GRA was a nothingburger after I quit, the brief 2014 revival a pale shadow of its former glories. The GRA's history was one of lurching from one dysfunctional crisis to another, all while everyone acted as though they hated each other, while actually (mostly) enjoying the whole charade. There's only three notable or significant parts of the GRA's history: 1) the original government and Northern Chittowa's role in founding the FRA, 2) the brief original Rotatorship, 3) the 2010 revival. The rest of the time the region was either inactive or squabbling internally.

Sure, but I think Joe Bobs' contributions to the GRA after the relaunch, even if the GRA was failing, are noteworthy.

Sedgistan wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Praising Joe Bobs' contributions to the FRA, which it joined through the Global Right Alliance, where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad, by, in addition to serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Arch Chancellor, and participating in countless anti-raider operations, holding an extremely successful term as Arch-Chancellor in 2014; for example, it was Joe Bobs that, as Arch-Chancellor, compiled a public library of the history of some significant regions in NationStates, and formally took action to encourage the FRA to further help in stabilising regions after the chaos following invasion, and

2014 was several years past my involvement in the FRA, so I don't have my dates fully in order, but my understanding was that the FRA was in terminal decline by this point, with successive AC's managing brief flurries of activity (if any) and at most only prolonging the inevitable. Did you get input from people like Fratt, Wop, Karp etc. on this?

I had talked to Karp a bit, but not really much to be honest.

Sedgistan wrote:I think you need to make more of the recording of histories, as that's a massively important, yet frequently overlooked and underrated, role in NationStates. So much history is lost without people actively doing this, and JB is one of the few who has put serious time into recording the histories of the places he had been involved.

Thanks, coming in the next draft :p
Last edited by Apatosaurus on Tue Oct 05, 2021 1:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Benevolent Thomas » Tue Oct 05, 2021 2:57 pm

I'm not going to read this or help make it better. I read the target name and that's good enough for me. SUPPORT.
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Postby Apatosaurus » Tue Oct 05, 2021 3:04 pm

Benevolent Thomas wrote:I'm not going to read this or help make it better. I read the target name and that's good enough for me. SUPPORT.

Thanks BT!
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Postby Minskiev » Tue Oct 05, 2021 3:10 pm

Thousand Branches wrote:
Apatosaurus wrote:Noting that many nations that have contributed to NationStates in an outstanding capacity have been overlooked by this institution, and that Joe Bobs is an example of one such nation that has contributed to a multitude of regions and defenderdom,

I’m not sure if it’s a wonderful start to begin with “this institution has ignored this person”. Like there’s always new people that haven’t been condemned/commended, this guy is no exception, so it’s kind of weird to specifically point out the failings of the Security Council. I feel like it doesn’t really highlight that Joe Bobs is awesome, it just says he deserves a commend for being so ignored for all this time. You know what I mean? Just feel like you could do something different here.

Literally what I said while this was being drafted in its google doc omg
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Postby Giovanniland » Tue Oct 05, 2021 3:36 pm

Apatosaurus wrote:
Giovanniland wrote:Like it was pointed above, this clause has too much going on and should be reworked. But I'd like to offer some additional comments: the clause doesn't explain what Joe Bobs did as Regional Liaison Officer

Honest, not much tbh lol.

Well, if they didn't do anything notable in the position, best to remove the mention then.

Apatosaurus wrote:
Giovanniland wrote:nor does it name some of the more notable "countless a+nti-raider operations".

I mentioned a few before, but decided to remove it as per:
Apatosaurus wrote:EDIT: I also removed mention of the liberation of The League of the United Nations as that region is now owned by an OOC reprehensible region and as LUN was not historically significant, mentioning it would only give attention to said OOC reprehensible region.

EDIT 2: Removed that section entirely because apparently I'm over the character limit now >_>

That said, since I'm further from the character limit now, I could add more on that.

Sounds fair, I'd support adding back some of the other regions that were in that clause you removed (especially Christmas that still holds an active community to this day) since it gives an example of their operations.
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Postby Thousand Branches » Tue Oct 05, 2021 4:22 pm

Minskiev wrote:
Thousand Branches wrote:I’m not sure if it’s a wonderful start to begin with “this institution has ignored this person”. Like there’s always new people that haven’t been condemned/commended, this guy is no exception, so it’s kind of weird to specifically point out the failings of the Security Council. I feel like it doesn’t really highlight that Joe Bobs is awesome, it just says he deserves a commend for being so ignored for all this time. You know what I mean? Just feel like you could do something different here.

Literally what I said while this was being drafted in its google doc omg

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Postby Apatosaurus » Tue Oct 05, 2021 4:22 pm

Giovanniland wrote:Sounds fair, I'd support adding back some of the other regions that were in that clause you removed (especially Christmas that still holds an active community to this day) since it gives an example of their operations.

Alright, added Christmas, The Hood and Slavia.
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Postby Zukchiva » Tue Oct 05, 2021 4:42 pm

feedback

Being an incredibly utopian nation, most notably through its dedication to universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, strong support of eco-friendly policy and extensive protections for animal rights,
Is this from some RP thing, or is this based on issues? Can't really tell.

Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006, where its diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era, earning Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term, and increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months,
This reads a little bit run-on. Can you change the flow of it somehow to go along better?

Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,
Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010, notably building foreign relations with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and 10000 Islands,
As you have the characters, I would suggest giving a brief notice why these relations mattered to the GRA. I disagree w/ RON that forming embassies isn't commendable (many regions only use embassies afterall), but there needs to be a good reason for why these relations are noteworthy, besides the fact that the regions themselves were noteworthy.

Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, rebuilding much of the region's infrastructure, including the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and
This also doesn't flow well, would suggest re-wording.

where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Vice Chancellor
As others have said, this doesn't really explain what a Regional Liason Officer does nor what your nominee specifically did. Doesn't also really explain what impact they had as Vice-Chancellor.
Last edited by Zukchiva on Tue Oct 05, 2021 4:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Apatosaurus
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Posts: 231
Founded: Jul 17, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Apatosaurus » Wed Oct 06, 2021 5:21 pm

Zukchiva wrote:feedback

Hai Zuk :)

Zukchiva wrote:
Being an incredibly utopian nation, most notably through its dedication to universal healthcare, strong stance against capital punishment, strong support of eco-friendly policy and extensive protections for animal rights,
Is this from some RP thing, or is this based on issues? Can't really tell.

Again, this is Q102 regional roleplay :p

Zukchiva wrote:
Being an extremely effective Immigrations and Officials Minister in 2006, where its diligence in recruitment helped build the region into one of the most active regions of its era, earning Joe Bobs the Best Recruiter and Outstanding Citizen regional awards during its term, and increasing the size of Q102 by over 18% in only 3 months,
This reads a little bit run-on. Can you change the flow of it somehow to go along better?

Done.

Zukchiva wrote:
Was one of the greatest Foreign Affairs Ministers in the region's history in 2014; during its term, the GRA built embassies with many significant regions such as Capitalist Paradise, Spiritus, Texas, and the Rejected Realms,
Serving as Minister of Foreign Affairs in 2010, notably building foreign relations with many regions such as The East Pacific, Europeia, and 10000 Islands,
As you have the characters, I would suggest giving a brief notice why these relations mattered to the GRA. I disagree w/ RON that forming embassies isn't commendable (many regions only use embassies afterall), but there needs to be a good reason for why these relations are noteworthy, besides the fact that the regions themselves were noteworthy.

I think it's commendable because it at least temporarily helped the region get started in the FA front since the relaunch (even though as Sedge said, the relaunched GRA later failed). That said, I edited that clause to mention that.

Zukchiva wrote:
Served as Speaker and First Minister later in 2014, rebuilding much of the region's infrastructure, including the Judicial branch, World Assembly Delegate elections and Speaker succession, as well as restarting the rotatorship, and
This also doesn't flow well, would suggest re-wording.

Done

Zukchiva wrote:
where it helped defend regions from the threat of invasion abroad by serving as Regional Liaison Officer and Vice Chancellor
As others have said, this doesn't really explain what a Regional Liason Officer does nor what your nominee specifically did. Doesn't also really explain what impact they had as Vice-Chancellor.

Fine, I changed that part to just say "serving in various government positions".
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