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[PASSED] Commend Imperium Anglorum

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Jedinsto
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[PASSED] Commend Imperium Anglorum

Postby Jedinsto » Fri Jun 25, 2021 1:53 pm

The Security Council,

Aware of the prior Security Council Commendation of Imperium Anglorum (IA) for their work in the General Assembly (GA), but believing that their contributions to the World Assembly (WA) and the world at large since this initial commendation to be significant enough to warrant a second commendation,

Recognizing IA's development of InfoEurope, recording the content of all proposals submitted to the WA, voting statistics of at-vote resolutions updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the WA; as well as EuroTracker, which allows nations within Europe to learn which other nations they have and have not endorsed, significantly contributing to Europe having the highest average amount of WA endorsements per nation,

Lauding IA's service as delegate for Europe for an incredible five and a half years, during which time they contributed the following to the region:

  • Authorship of the Treaty of the Northern Passage, which most notably established mutual government recognition, embassies, non-aggression and defense, open communication, supporting domestic GA authors, and cultural co-operation between Europe and The North Pacific, thereby boosting regional security, intelligence, and influence in the World Assembly for both regions,
  • Authorship of the Foreign Policy (World Assembly) Act, which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League, furthering Europe's role as one of the most powerful regions in the WA, and
  • Continuous authorship of crucial administrative Acts, such as Criminal Law Act, which established the definitions of crimes, maximum punishments for crimes, and the process of determining the punishments for those crimes, all of which had been missing in Europe's legislation and all of which are important in regions as large as Europe,

Noting IA’s brief ventures into the Security Council, during which time they authored and passed SC#255 Commend Knootoss, for their authorship of six GA resolutions and their consistent debating in the halls of the Assembly,

Appreciating IA's continued dedication to the GA through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, and the authorship of several GA guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,

Honoring IA's six co-authorships of GA resolutions, accentuating their dedication to international law and helping other authors, most notably including:

  • GA#440: Administrative Compliance Act by Separatist Peoples, establishing means of punishing those in non-compliance with international law,
  • GA#445: Greenhouse Gas Cap and Trade Program by Ransium, strictly enforcing maximum emissions of greenhouse gases, ensuring that the environment receives basic protection in member nations, and
  • GA#486: Prevention of Forced Sterilisation by Maowi and co-authored by Marxist Germany, outlawing the barbaric practice of sterilising people against their will and as such significantly improving worldwide human rights,

Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only increased in its diversity and importance,

Praising IA for their authorship of 23 new General Assembly resolutions since their first commendation, most notably:

  • GA#535: Death Penalty Ban, outlawing all forms of capital punishment outside of military penal codes, preventing the emotional burden of an extra life lost due to a crime, and altogether preventing oppressive regimes from executing those who have committed lesser crimes,
  • GA#499: Access to Abortion, completing the resolution chain that ensures that there is a reasonable and consistent access to abortion,
  • GA#514: Ending School Segregation, guaranteeing that children not be discriminated against in their education and allowing parents to demand legal action when their child is being discriminated against,
  • GA#531: Tariffs and Trade Convention, one of the strongest Free Trade General Assembly resolutions on the books, codifying a set of rules, regulations, and guidelines for free trade that were previously missing, and
  • GA#412: Public Health and Vaccinations Act, requiring that everybody who is medically able be given vaccines for contagious diseases which pose a threat to public health,

Believing that IA's continued and valuable contributions to international law as well as that of Europe show indubitably that they are worthy of further recognition,

Hereby commends Imperium Anglorum.

If you thought I was done stirring controversial topics (in this case double c/c) for the week then you were sorely mistaken. IA has consented to have this drafted, and it was done with input from Boston Castle, Cretox State, and Outer Sparta.
Last edited by Goobergunchia on Mon Aug 16, 2021 9:03 pm, edited 30 times in total.
Reason: Question put and agreed to.
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The Python
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Postby The Python » Fri Jun 25, 2021 1:56 pm

IA's already commended though, why again?
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Fri Jun 25, 2021 1:58 pm

Jedinsto wrote:Praising IA for their authorship of an incredible 36 General Assembly authorships...

Should that last word be "resolutions?"
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Jedinsto
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Postby Jedinsto » Fri Jun 25, 2021 1:59 pm

Tinhampton wrote:
Jedinsto wrote:Praising IA for their authorship of an incredible 36 General Assembly authorships...

Should that last word be "resolutions?"

Yes.

EDIT: This post is now a changelog.

The Security Council,

Aware of prior Security Council Commendation of Imperium Anglorum (IA) for their work in the General Assembly, but believing that their contributions to the Assembly and the world at large since this initial commendation to be significant enough to warrant a second commendation,

Recognizing IA's development of InfoEurope, recording the content of all proposals submitted to the World Assembly, voting statistics of at-vote resolutions updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the Assembly; as well as EuroTracker, which allows nations within Europe to learn which other nations they have not endorsed, significantly contributing to Europe having the highest average amount of World Assembly endorsements per nation,

Lauding IA's continued contributions to Europe, including but not limited to:

  • Authorship of the Treaty of the Northern Passage, which most notably established mutual government recognition, embassies, non-aggression and defense, open communication, supporting domestic General Assembly authors, and cultural co-operation between Europe and The North Pacific, thereby boosting regional security, intelligence, and influence in the World Assembly for both regions,
  • Authorship of the Foreign Policy (World Assembly) Act, which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League, the most powerful World Assembly voting bloc in existence, furthering Europe's role as one of the most powerful regions in the World Assembly,
  • Continuous authorship of crucial administrative Acts, such as Criminal Law Act, which established the definitions of crimes, maximum punishments for crimes, and the process of determining the punishments for those crimes, all of which had been missing in Europe's legislation and all of which are important in regions as large as Europe, and
  • Serving as delegate for an incredible five and a half years,

Noting IA’s brief ventures into the Security Council, during which time they authored and passed SC#255 Commend Knootoss, for their authorship of six General Assembly resolutions and their consistent debating in the halls of the Assembly,

Appreciating IA's continued dedication to the General Assembly through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, the authorship of several General Assembly guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,

Honoring IA's six co-authorships of General Assembly resolutions, accentuating their dedication to international law and helping other authors, most notably including:


Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only become more important, notable, and unique,

Praising IA for their authorship of 22 new General Assembly resolutions since their first commendation, most notably:

  • GA#535: Death Penalty Ban, outlawing all forms of capital punishment outside of military penal codes, preventing the emotional burden of an extra life lost due to a crime, and altogether preventing oppressive regimes from executing those who have committed lesser crimes,
  • GA#499: Access to Abortion, completing the resolution chain that ensures that there is a reasonable and consistent access to abortion,
  • GA#514: Ending School Segregation, guaranteeing that children not be discriminated against in their education and allowing parents to demand legal action when their child is being discriminated against,
  • GA#531: Tariffs and Trade Convention, one of the strongest Free Trade General Assembly resolutions on the books, codifying a set of rules, regulations, and guidelines for free trade that were previously missing, and
  • GA#412: Public Health and Vaccinations Act, requiring that everybody who is medically able be given vaccines for contagious diseases which pose a threat to public health,

Believing that IA's continued and valuable contributions to international law as well as that of Europe show indubitably that they are worthy of further recognition,

Hereby commends Imperium Anglorum.


The Security Council,

Aware of prior Security Council Commendation of Imperium Anglorum (IA) for their work in the General Assembly (GA), but believing that their contributions to the World Assembly (WA) and the world at large since this initial commendation to be significant enough to warrant a second commendation,

Recognizing IA's development of InfoEurope, recording the content of all proposals submitted to the World Assembly, voting statistics of at-vote resolutions updated hourly for the benefit of scholars and authors of the WA; as well as EuroTracker, which allows nations within Europe to learn which other nations they have not endorsed, significantly contributing to Europe having the highest average amount of WA endorsements per nation,

Lauding IA's continued contributions to Europe, including but not limited to:

  • Authorship of the Treaty of the Northern Passage, which established mutual government recognition, embassies, non-aggression and defense, open communication, supporting domestic GA authors, and cultural co-operation between Europe and The North Pacific, boosting regional security, intelligence, and influence in the WA for both regions,
  • Authorship of the Foreign Policy (World Assembly) Act, which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League, furthering Europe's role as one of the most powerful regions in the World Assembly,
  • Continuous authorship of crucial administrative Acts, such as Criminal Law Act, which established the definitions of crimes, maximum punishments for crimes, and the process of determining the punishments for those crimes, all of which had been missing in Europe's legislation and all of which are important in regions as large as Europe, and
  • Serving as delegate for an incredible five and a half years,

Noting IA’s brief ventures into the Security Council, during which time they authored and passed SC#255 Commend Knootoss, for their authorship of six GA resolutions and their consistent debating in the halls of the WA,

Appreciating IA's continued dedication to the GA through the critique of countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, the authorship of several General Assembly guides in order to make the chamber more accessible to newcomers,

Honoring IA's six co-authorships of GA resolutions, accentuating their dedication to international law and helping other authors, most notably including:


Recognizing that while IA's first commendation was largely based on their work in international law, their work has not stopped and has only become more important and unique,

Praising IA for their authorship of 22 new GA resolutions since their first commendation, most notably:


Believing that IA's continued and valuable contributions to international law as well as that of Europe show indubitably that they are worthy of further recognition,

Hereby commends Imperium Anglorum.
Last edited by Jedinsto on Sat Jul 17, 2021 6:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Hulldom
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Postby Hulldom » Fri Jun 25, 2021 2:09 pm

The Python wrote:IA's already commended though, why again?

Because he's kept up the incredible work in the mean time and built upon an already stellar record.
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Postby Astrobolt » Fri Jun 25, 2021 2:34 pm

Full support for the nominee.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Fri Jun 25, 2021 3:56 pm

The Python wrote:IA's already commended though, why again?

Players that go well above and beyond their first commend/condemn can get a second commend/condemn. IA really deserves a second commendation for all the work they built over the years.
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Postby Minskiev » Fri Jun 25, 2021 3:56 pm

Recognizing that IA has written many extremely important laws for Europe


Extremely important to me sounds redundant. Just say important.

And I know that small comments about minor details are the worst to get, so I'll try to add more.
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Astrobolt
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Postby Astrobolt » Fri Jun 25, 2021 4:02 pm

I wonder whether it would be possible to mention InfoEurope, a site IA maintains that, among other things, keeps a record of all proposals submitted to WA, delegate votes, and vote results.
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Postby Tinhampton » Fri Jun 25, 2021 4:25 pm

Astrobolt wrote:I wonder whether it would be possible to mention InfoEurope...

I referred to InfoEurope when I tried to submit a second Commendation of IA last year and - as far as I recall - it was marked legal. (Jedinsto is welcome to take whatever he wants from my old draft, even though it isn't particularly good :P)
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Fri Jun 25, 2021 5:09 pm

Amazed that IA has served as delegate of Europe for over five and a half years, though they were unseated for a period of 12 hours twice throughout this reign,


Recognizing that IA has written many extremely important laws for Europe such as the North Pacific Treaty Act, the Foreign Policy Act (which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League) and other administrative Acts too numerous to be listed here,

Lauding IA's success in growing Europe as a region, and their sheer dedication to the region,[/quote]

There's a lot to be unpacked here...

Firstly, you could definitely do with some reorganising. One suggestion is to have a list like:

Lauding IA's sheer dedication to the region of Europe, where they have served as the region's delegate for over five and a half years, making vital contributions such as:

  • writing many important laws blah blah blah
  • grow region blah blah blah
  • other stuff


This way, you can get the vague fluff organised into the header of the three subclauses, and get the actual meat into the subclauses.

Secondly, you need more detail. I mean c'mon - IA is the face of Europe. Surely there's more contributions that these? And you could do with improving what you have as well. Grow region - how? What did they do? What were the results of his efforts? What is the North Pacific Treaty Act? Why is joining WALL good? etc

Before I continue, it would be beneficial for you to read https://www.nationstates.net/page=WA_pa ... /start=351 . Yes, way to self promote, I know. But look at the way I formatted the resolution, and how I presented the information. Try to model it after that (or any other resolution where you like the writing style).

Noting IA's authorship of Commend Knootoss, another talented General Assembly (GA) author,


Why is this notable? Why is this commendable? How is Knootoss a talented GA author? What did they do?

Appreciating IA's dedication to the GA and helping GA authors by critiquing countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, writing a blog containing articles explaining different legislative styles and how ambassadors can generally improve their proposals,


"Writing a blog" isn't very characteristic for a nation. Try something like "authoring a guide" or something.

Honoring IA's six co-authorships, most notably including:

  • Administrative Compliance Act, which fairly but heavily penalizes those proven to be in non-compliance with World Assembly legislation through fines,
  • Greenhouse Gas Cap and Trade Program, which strictly enforces maximum emissions of greenhouse gases, and imposes harsh fines on violating member nations and,
  • Prevention of Forced Sterilisation, which outlaws the barbaric practice of sterilising people against their will,


Firstly, please put the resolution number and who they co-authored these resolutions with. Small details like this are important. Secondly, why is co-authorship is so good? Why is it commendable? You need to answer these questions in the draft. I'll help you with this by citing yet another one of my resolutions (I'm very vain):

Extolling the Kenmoria WA Mission for their co-authorship of several resolutions, which further indicates their devotion to assisting fellow delegations in improving international law,


It's not that hard. You could even go with something better, but having something similar would be great (don't go into too much detail though, because you'll go over character count). And lastly, please explain why fining someone for noncompliance and having a greenhouse gas cap is something commendable.

Praising IA for their authorship of an incredible 36 General Assembly resolutions, most notably:

  • Death Penalty Ban, one of the most significant and important improvements of civil rights in the history of the GA, which outlawed all forms of capital punishment outside of military penal codes,
  • Access to Abortion, which ensures all those who are eligible for an abortion are able to receive one, settling one of the most controversial topics in the World Assembly,
  • Ending School Segregation, which guarantees that the children not be discriminated against in their education, ensures the same standards in private schools and allows parents of the children to demand legal action when their child is being discriminated against,
  • Tariffs and Trade Convention, one of the strongest GA resolutions relating to free trade of all time, which codifies a set of rules, regulations, and guidelines for free trade,
  • Public Health and Vaccinations Act, which requires that everybody who is medically able to receive a vaccine is given vaccines for contagious diseases which pose a threat to public health,


This is mostly fine.. for now. For the abortion one, you'd want to say that the resolution was passed to advance healthcare, not to settle a controversial topic. And the Tariffs and Trade Convention one is really vague. Give an example of what it does.

Believing that IA's numerous and unique accomplishments warrant another commendation,

Hereby commends Imperium Anglorum.


Wait. That's it?

You're nowhere near 5000 characters. Use it. Double commendations are for the best of the best - you don't want a lacklustre resolution. Take my suggestions to beef up the content, and definitely go do some research to get more content, because at the moment I don't see this passing.


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Jedinsto
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Postby Jedinsto » Fri Jun 25, 2021 5:13 pm

Those are some good suggestions that I will implement at least in part. The part I probably won't take is the "make it a list and stuff" part. Also, yes this is probably nowhere near detailed enough. However, once it is detailed enough, I see no reason to fluff it up to 5000 characters just to fluff it up to 5000 characters.
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Moonfungus
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Postby Moonfungus » Sat Jun 26, 2021 6:46 am

Heyo, got some things here;

Jedinsto wrote:Noting that Imperium Anglorum (herein IA) has already been commended but believing their accomplishments since warrant another commendation,

Not really a great introductory clause; tells me nothing about the nominee except that he's been commended once before for...reasons? What reasons? Doesn't really set a specific tone for the entire proposal either.

There should be a space between your "Noting" and "Amazed" clause.

Jedinsto wrote:Noting that Imperium Anglorum (herein IA) has already been commended but believing their accomplishments since warrant another commendation,
Amazed that IA has served as delegate of Europe for over five and a half years, though they were unseated for a period of 12 hours twice throughout this reign,

Recognizing that IA has written many extremely important laws for Europe such as the North Pacific Treaty Act, the Foreign Policy Act (which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League) and other administrative Acts too numerous to be listed here,

Lauding IA's success in growing Europe as a region, and their sheer dedication to the region,

Honeydew's basically got this section covered for me, although I do want to add that you should seperate IA's diplomatic contributions from his legislative contributions. Put them in separate clauses or something.

Also remove the "unseated" bit, doesn't really add anything to the proposal except serving as a trivia.

Jedinsto wrote:Noting IA's authorship of Commend Knootoss, another talented General Assembly (GA) author,

Probably a personal preference, but this should be after the GA clauses, so that readers get hit with IA's main work in GA first before moving on to his only SC work.

And yes, like Honeydew said, this could be improved upon. This tells me virtually nothing about Knootoss, except they're a "talented GA author" (how do you even measure "talent" in terms of WA authorship?) Be more specific here.

Jedinsto wrote:Appreciating IA's dedication to the GA and helping GA authors by critiquing countless drafts, providing platforms for private debate on drafts, writing a blog containing articles explaining different legislative styles and how ambassadors can generally improve their proposals,

I think the mention of "blog" is illegal, since a nation can't really write a blog in this IC multiverse. What you can do is that change it in such a way that it refers to IA's government staffers, not IA itself.

Jedinsto wrote:Honoring IA's six co-authorships, most notably including:

Again, a personal preference, but move this after the clause on GA authorship. Also try to include co-author names if you can?

Jedinsto wrote:Praising IA for their authorship of an incredible 36 General Assembly resolutions, most notably:

See what Honeydew said, I have no specific concerns with this clause.

Jedinsto wrote:Believing that IA's numerous and unique accomplishments warrant another commendation,

Seems a bit bland to me...maybe try to include more specific stuffs? Like refer to his GA and Europe work as described above and then put the "warrant another commendation" bit after it?

Jedinsto wrote:Hereby commends Imperium Anglorum.

Good luck with this.
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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Sat Jun 26, 2021 6:56 am

Astrobolt wrote:I wonder whether it would be possible to mention InfoEurope, a site IA maintains that, among (Honeydewistania edit: among us sussy sus amongus) other things, keeps a record of all proposals submitted to WA, delegate votes, and vote results.


Most likely. His previous commendation mentions his creation of Communique, an API recruitment application, so InfoEurope should be legal. Not a mod though.
Last edited by Honeydewistania on Sat Jun 26, 2021 6:56 am, edited 1 time in total.


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Jedinsto
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Postby Jedinsto » Sat Jun 26, 2021 6:58 am

For the personal preference stuff, the idea of my formatting was that the most significant accomplishments are listed at the end as sort of a "best for last" thing. I'll include the feedback I've got so far soon when I'm feeling up to it.

And as for InfoEurope being legal to mention, Tinhampton said it was considered legal in her attempt for a second commend.
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Postby Westinor » Sat Jun 26, 2021 10:06 am

Hulldom wrote:
The Python wrote:IA's already commended though, why again?

Because he's kept up the incredible work in the mean time and built upon an already stellar record.

I would like to see this argument supported in the proposal outside of being stated in the introductory and penultimate clause. Currently the argument set up has nothing to back it up besides examples that do not convince me much that IA’s work warrants a second commendation, because this reads as a commendation for all of IA’s work.
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Postby Zukchiva » Sat Jun 26, 2021 3:25 pm

I agree with West.

The way this draft reads, one could probably treat this as a repeal and replace rather than a second commendation. I think there needs to be a stylistic shift to focus more on the fact that this is a second commend, not the first.
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Postby Jedinsto » Sat Jun 26, 2021 4:46 pm

Yeah I will be making those changes. I haven't been around enough today to do it, so I'll get it done ASAP.
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Postby Wallenburg » Sun Jun 27, 2021 12:13 pm

"We consider the Anglican delegation's work to obstruct the course of justice through their multiple death penalty bans deserving of nothing but scorn. The inclusion of their Death Penalty Ban in this proposal will make it extremely difficult to justify supporting this before the Republican Council."
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Postby Jedinsto » Sun Jun 27, 2021 5:11 pm

"Would the Wallenburgian delegation consider this proposal if the description of that resolution was changed to something to the effect of 'Death Penalty Ban, which banned all forms of capital punishment outside of military penal codes, preventing oppressive regimes from executing the underserving.' I believe we can both agree that Death Penalty Ban was a very significant change, whether for the better or worse, and passing it would be an accomplishment in and of itself."
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Wallenburg
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Postby Wallenburg » Sun Jun 27, 2021 5:24 pm

Jedinsto wrote:"Would the Wallenburgian delegation consider this proposal if the description of that resolution was changed to something to the effect of 'Death Penalty Ban, which banned all forms of capital punishment outside of military penal codes, preventing oppressive regimes from executing the underserving.' I believe we can both agree that Death Penalty Ban was a very significant change, whether for the better or worse, and passing it would be an accomplishment in and of itself."

"This is a commendation. It is, by its nature, celebrating everything contained within its margins, and replacement language such as that hardly manages to convey anything other than a positive outlook on what was a failure for law and order."
I want to improve.
grestin went through the MKULTRA program and he has more of a free will than wallenburg does - Imperial Idaho
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Jedinsto
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Founded: Nov 12, 2020
New York Times Democracy

Postby Jedinsto » Sun Jun 27, 2021 5:28 pm

"No, Death Penalty Ban was definitely not a failure of law and order. Current language stays, then."
This is indeed, once again, a signature.

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Mon Jun 28, 2021 1:24 am

While this a nicely written draft it feels like there’s nothing new here. Yes, IA has written more legislation for the GA/SC and they’ve maintained their Delegacy for a good number of years, but it’s all the same sort of thing they were commended for in the first place.

Can’t support this in its present form.
Former Delegate of The West Pacific. Former Guardian (under many Delegates) of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs and former Security Council Advisor.

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart

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Jedinsto
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New York Times Democracy

Postby Jedinsto » Mon Jun 28, 2021 11:51 am

Made quite a few edits based on feedback. The clause about IA's development of InfoEurope was largely inspired from Tin's attempt at this (which she says I can steal from). Thank you Tin.
This is indeed, once again, a signature.

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Honeydewistania
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Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Jun 28, 2021 4:10 pm

Recognizing IA's development of InfoEurope, which records the content of all proposals submitted to the World Assembly, voting statistics of at-vote resolutions recorded by the hour;


So... what good does this do? How is this benefitting?

Lauding IA's exceptional contributions to Europe which have continued since their first commendation, including but not limited to:

  • Authorship of the North Pacific Treaty Act,
  • Authorship of the Foreign Policy (World Assembly) Act which confirmed the ascension of Europe to the World Assembly Legislative League, the most powerful World Assembly voting bloc in existence, thus establishing Europe as one of the most powerful regions in the World Assembly,
  • Continuous authorship of crucial administrative Acts too numerous to be listed here,
  • Serving as delegate for an incredible five and a half years,


Authorship of treaty act that does what? How was it good?

Also, Europe was already one of the most powerful regions without WALL. I don’t think joining WALL made much of a difference.

Also, you should cut the too numerous to be listed crap. You should at least list one and why it was good, otherwise you shouldn’t include it at all.

And lastly, wow they served as delegate for a long time. What did they do and how was it good? If you’re going to answer with the same things you listed already, I once again suggest putting the delegate but in the header of the clause so it looks better and saves space.

Noting that since IA's first commendation, they have become involved in the Security Council and authored SC#255 Commend Knootoss, for their authorship of six General Assembly resolutions (Read the Resolution Act, Reducing Problem Gambling, Permit Male Circumcision, Recognizing Achievements Act, Extradition Rights, and Right to Petition),


There is no point listing a bunch of resolutions without explaining what they do or why they are good. Pick one of them and elaborate. Also, Knootoss’ contributions to the WA seems to be more of their debating and roleplay presence than mere authorship. You should try incorporating that too.


Also, my critiques of your coauthorship and authorship clauses still remain. Please fix them.


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Represented by Benji Schubert Hepperle in the WA


[the] ice age [is] coming

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