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[DRAFT] Commend Atlantian Oceania

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[DRAFT] Commend Atlantian Oceania

Postby Sorianora » Fri May 21, 2021 5:59 am

Here we go again, my 3rd SC proposal. A huge thanks to Indusse for their work on this. Without them this proposal may have never taken shape.

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Commend Atlantian Oceania
A resolution to recognise outstanding achievement by a nation or region.
Category: Commendation
Nominee: Atlantian Oceania
Proposed by: Sorianora

The Security Council,

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) was the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large number of sporting records at the time of writing, including:

  • The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia (6), while residing in AO.
  • The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita, and Valanora (5 each), and counting.
  • The most number of individual World Cup Hosted belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.
  • Valanora currently holds the record for the most World Cup SRS points (spaam ranking system), with 192 points.

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, ice hockey, and football,

Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate behind the backing of the residents of AO,

Celebrating AO’s success in Z-Day 7, finishing first in most survivors with no infected, with 3.81 trillion survivors, showing the coordination abilities of the incredibly community in AO,

Proud of the number of nations commending while in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of achievement in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania

Co-Authored by Indusse
Last edited by Sorianora on Wed Jun 02, 2021 1:15 pm, edited 12 times in total.
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Sorianora
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Postby Sorianora » Fri May 21, 2021 5:59 am

The Security Council,

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) is the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large amount of sporting records including:

  • The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia of AO.
  • The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita and Valanora (5 each) of AO.
  • The most number of individual World Cup Hosting Record belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.
  • Valanora currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 48 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, hockey, and football,

Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate, thanks to the support from the residents of AO,

Proud of the number of commended nations residing in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of culture in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania

Co-Authored by Indusse


The Security Council,

Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) was the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large number of sporting records including:

  • The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia (6), while residing in AO.
  • At the time of writing the most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita, and Valanora (5 each), and counting.
  • The most number of individual World Cup Hosting Record belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.
  • Valanora currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 48 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances.

Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,

Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, ice hockey, and football,

Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate behind the backing of the residents of AO,

Proud of the number of nations commending while in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of achievement in AO,

Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania

Co-Authored by Indusse
Last edited by Sorianora on Tue Jun 01, 2021 2:47 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Eshialand » Fri May 21, 2021 6:05 am

The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...
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Postby Lenlyvit » Fri May 21, 2021 6:09 am

Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.

Eshialand wrote:The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...

Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.
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Postby Outer Sparta » Fri May 21, 2021 6:16 am

Promising start, but work on formatting and other stylistic things.

American football may be conflicting with real-life references, but if it doesn't pass, then I recommend changing it to gridiron football.
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Postby Bears Armed » Fri May 21, 2021 6:17 am

Lenlyvit wrote:Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.

Eshialand wrote:The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...

Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.
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Postby Eshialand » Fri May 21, 2021 6:30 am

Bears Armed wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.


Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.
The nations that left included nations like Audioslavia, Krytenia, and Starblaydia, some of the first names anyone thinks of when they think of AO. See the pinned dispatch "The Declaration of Foxchester" in Anaia for more info on the seceding nations.
Last edited by Eshialand on Fri May 21, 2021 6:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Lenlyvit » Fri May 21, 2021 6:35 am

Bears Armed wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:Your draft needs quite a bit of work, especially in the list section of the further recognising clause. Try using bullet points, it'll look better.


Can you inform us of what you mean? I'm out of the loop on this.

A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.

Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.
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Postby Unibot III » Fri May 21, 2021 6:36 am

Great work on a first draft! Lovely to finally see this taking shape.
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Postby Eshialand » Fri May 21, 2021 6:44 am

Lenlyvit wrote:
Bears Armed wrote:A bunch of nations, including some lonnng-term members of AO, decided to split off and found a separate region... without telling the others beforepaw.

Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

They gave very little notice to AO's founder and no information whatsoever to anyone else. You're right, under normal circumstances, this would be uncontroversial, but that doesn't change the fact that there are fresh wounds in NSS that need time to heal before this goes to vote.
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Postby Lenlyvit » Fri May 21, 2021 6:53 am

Eshialand wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

They gave very little notice to AO's founder and no information whatsoever to anyone else. You're right, under normal circumstances, this would be uncontroversial, but that doesn't change the fact that there are fresh wounds in NSS that need time to heal before this goes to vote.

Alright, that i understand. However, there's nothing wrong with drafting the proposal now and letting it sit for an extended period of time. Ultimately it's up to the author to decide when to submit it, and if it's too early before the wounds heal then it may fail.
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Postby Sorianora » Fri May 21, 2021 9:11 am

Eshialand wrote:The timing on this one's a bit weird imo. Commending AO right when there's a major scandal involving it? Seems reactionary to me...
it’s merely unfortunate timing on my part due to how long it took me to finish the first draft.
Outer Sparta wrote:Promising start, but work on formatting and other stylistic things.

American football may be conflicting with real-life references, but if it doesn't pass, then I recommend changing it to gridiron football.

The transition from Google Doc to forums wasn’t the smoothest and some of the formatting was messed up a bit.

I believe American Football is its official name and shouldn’t be an irl reference, but I may change it to Gridiron Football if needed.
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Postby Nova Vandalia » Fri May 21, 2021 1:03 pm

Hi there! First off I'm posting here so that way folks can't later invalidate my opinions on this due to arguing my timing was off when I commented on it.

AO sounds like a really fun region, and I think you should really express that little bit more, right? Sports are a lively things even RP sports, you get invested. I think it would be more emotionally appealing if you could find a way to include that into your draft, even if it's just changing some words to be more emotional.

like "The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita and Valanora (5 each) of AO." don't say shared say like "hotly contested"

"Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,"

Tell me more about those! How many nations participated? were they lively? Energetic? Highly competitive? Well Recieved?

"Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,"

You mean AO has continuously tackled the task of providing the oldest and longest running tournament never fumbling participation as they had high turn outs throughout the years.

I know I'm gonna be the only one but I want to feel the sports ;-; when I read a sports RP commend.
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Postby Goobergunchia » Fri May 21, 2021 9:09 pm

Outer Sparta wrote:American football may be conflicting with real-life references, but if it doesn't pass, then I recommend changing it to gridiron football.


CG said that "American football" is fine but obviously either works. I'd also suggest specifying "ice hockey" to avoid confusion with the field version.

Will save a few spelling/grammar nitpicks for the next draft.
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Postby Indusse » Fri May 21, 2021 10:38 pm

Eshialand wrote:
Lenlyvit wrote:Ookkaayyy.... I don't see how that's a scandal then. That happens sometimes, and I don't see how it mitigates AO's contributions.

They gave very little notice to AO's founder and no information whatsoever to anyone else. You're right, under normal circumstances, this would be uncontroversial, but that doesn't change the fact that there are fresh wounds in NSS that need time to heal before this goes to vote.


Well Noting that all these achievements were achieved by the respective nations while they were part of Atlantian Oceania and not Anaia, we can ignore the current turmoil and scandal. We should also note that the nations who left for Anaia where mainly from a specific part of their roleplay map (Northwest/Northeast), that means the new region existed in Atlantian Oceania as a province earlier.
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Sat May 22, 2021 12:56 am

Nova Vandalia wrote:Hi there! First off I'm posting here so that way folks can't later invalidate my opinions on this due to arguing my timing was off when I commented on it.

No, we’ll just invalidate them on the content.

Anyway, potshots aside, this is a reasonable first draft. I think this is your second or third serious attempt at a proposal and the improvement does show.

I will leave the fact checking to others more experienced in the NS Sports scene than me (which is just about anybody). As others have commented the formatting is a bit iffy and you also have various grammatical errors to fix (e.g. incorrect/irregular use of capital letters).

Look forward to the next draft.

Edit: just seen the bit in your preamble that this is your third attempt - so I did remember correctly.
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Postby Electrum » Sat May 22, 2021 7:16 am

Yeah, it's a bit unclear as to who 'owns' these trophies/awards now that Star and Audio have moved to Anaia (long story, there's a discussion thread on NSS if you're interested). Though I do suppose it can count for AO because these were won while those nations were in AO. I think you need to clarify that detail further.

Could you fact check some of these by the way? Like how did you arrive at 37 WC titles.

There's also a lot of grammatical errors, as others have pointed out.
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Postby Indusse » Sat May 22, 2021 10:23 pm

Electrum wrote:Yeah, it's a bit unclear as to who 'owns' these trophies/awards now that Star and Audio have moved to Anaia (long story, there's a discussion thread on NSS if you're interested). Though I do suppose it can count for AO because these were won while those nations were in AO. I think you need to clarify that detail further.

Could you fact check some of these by the way? Like how did you arrive at 37 WC titles.

There's also a lot of grammatical errors, as others have pointed out.


The World Cup Committee based event facts were taken from the dispatches maintained by NSWC Signups. The Olympic Games Facts were from the NSS wiki page maintained. I agree that there's quite a lot of grammatical errors and we will surely fix them up.
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Postby USS Monitor » Sat May 22, 2021 10:33 pm

I think if you include things that Audio and Star did while in AO, you should be careful about the wording so it does not sound like they are still there.
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Postby Sorianora » Sun May 23, 2021 9:04 am

Draft 2 is up. Small edits, not a ton of content added.
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Postby Hulldom » Mon May 24, 2021 12:40 pm

Going down this line by line.

Sorianora wrote: Recognising that Atlantian Oceania (Henceforth to be referred to as AO) was the largest and the oldest sporting region (founded in 2004) in the world,

Further Recognising that AO holds a large number of sporting records including:

  • The most elected World Cup Committee (WCC is the governing body of Nationstates World Cup) presidents are from Starblaydia (6), while residing in AO.

Would have it be "The most elected World Cup Committee presidents, such as those from Atlantian Oceanian resident Starblaydia."

Better would be collating them and not mentioning Starblaydia directly.

Sorianora wrote:
  • The most number of Nationstates World Cup Titles (37 titles) belong to Atlantian Oceania and the individual title record is shared between Starblaydia, Vilita, and Valanora (5 each).

  • "37 Nationstates World Cup Titles, a record for one region.", leave out Starblaydia, again.

    Sorianora wrote:
  • The most number of individual World Cup Hosting Record belongs to Valanora (7 World Cups) of AO.

  • "A record number of World Cups hosted by an individual region" (Unsure if this is true, but again, I don't think you should laud the contributions of individuals in a regional commendation unless strictly necessary.)

    Sorianora wrote:
  • Valanora currently holds the record for the most cups participated in: 48 qualification attempts, with 42 finals appearances
  • .

    This is probably not necessary, and if it is, should be focused on AO as a whole, not just on Valanora.

    Sorianora wrote:Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

    Regional? Also, what qualifies as "winning" an Olympics?

    Sorianora wrote:Praising AO’s numerous successful sporting leagues, including but not limited too: American football, baseball, motorsports, basketball, curling, ice hockey, and football,

    Would rather it be something like "Praising AO's numerous successful sporting leagues in a variety of internationally recognized games and activities."

    Sorianora wrote:Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running regional football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

    Would reduce to "Applauding the 62 successful Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football tournaments-one of the oldest, longest-running, prestigious, and popular regional football tournaments in the world."

    Sorianora wrote:Acknowledging Valentine Z’s 3rd place finish in the GENSEC elections with Atlantian Oceania as the nations running mate behind the backing of the residents of AO,

    Relevant? AO's place in the community is certainly noteworthy, but is this their biggest achievement?

    Sorianora wrote:Proud of the number of nations commending while in AO, which entails such nations as Starblaydia, Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Valanora, and Vilita and Turori showing the high level of culture in AO,

    Hereby Commends Atlantian Oceania.

    Co-Authored by Indusse[/blocktext][/box]

    This is, or in my opinion should be, the only real mention of individual nations. Also "achievement" > "culture".
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    Postby The Python » Mon May 24, 2021 2:18 pm

    I know nothing about the nominee (I'm not an NS sports person!) but looks good.
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    Krytenia
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    Capitalist Paradise

    Postby Krytenia » Tue May 25, 2021 7:12 am

    Sorianora wrote:Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

    ...

    Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running regional football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

    I'd suggest a slight re-wording of these two points.

    One doesn't really win the Olympics as such. Also, a couple of these events have been co-hosted with non-AO nations, so I'd suggest:

    Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,


    With the AOCAF, it's actually the longest-running regional sports competition still active, so if anything the commendation is underselling. How about:

    Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,


    Other than that, it's a commendation long overdue for AO in my opinion, albeit one with somewhat unfortunate timing. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a "Condemn Anaia" proposal just around the corner to truly round things off.
    KRYTENIA: RIP "Losing in semi-finals" meme. 2004-2020.
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    Audioslavia
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    Postby Audioslavia » Tue May 25, 2021 7:44 am

    Electrum wrote:Though I do suppose it can count for AO because these were won while those nations were in AO. I think you need to clarify that detail further.


    I agree with this, fwiw. There's no official tally of how many trophies any region has. If there were an official tally it'd more likely follow Wikipedia's system of listing the nation with whatever flag they had at the time and whatever region they had at the time.

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    Sorianora
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    Postby Sorianora » Tue May 25, 2021 11:05 am

    Krytenia wrote:
    Sorianora wrote:Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted nine Olympic Games, and winning two,

    ...

    Applauding the 62 successful football tournament in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, AOCAF, held by AO, which is one of the oldest and longest-running regional football tournaments in the world, and also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, which has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,

    I'd suggest a slight re-wording of these two points.

    One doesn't really win the Olympics as such. Also, a couple of these events have been co-hosted with non-AO nations, so I'd suggest:

    Noting AO’s success on the national stage at the Olympics, having hosted or co-hosted nine Olympic Games, and topping the medal table twice,


    With the AOCAF, it's actually the longest-running regional sports competition still active, so if anything the commendation is underselling. How about:

    Applauding the success of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football (AOCAF), which having held sixty-two editions is the oldest and longest-running regional sporting tournament still active, which is also noted as the most prestigious and most popular tournaments in the world, and has had consistently high turnouts throughout the years,


    Other than that, it's a commendation long overdue for AO in my opinion, albeit one with somewhat unfortunate timing. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a "Condemn Anaia" proposal just around the corner to truly round things off.

    Great suggestions, thank you!
    Soviet Socialist Union of Sorianora
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    Haha, funny how there are none lol

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