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[PASSED] Commend Honeydewistania

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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Sun Apr 04, 2021 7:44 am

If you do use this information then be aware that “moderator” as used here
1 term as URA VP -> Helped handle professionalism and class problems and now serves as a moderator in the URA community

may be judged illegal. I’ll go and find the reference now.

Edit: here it is.

viewtopic.php?p=38411782#p38411782

Read it and the couple of posts following for context.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Sun Apr 04, 2021 7:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Sun Apr 04, 2021 8:19 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:If you do use this information then be aware that “moderator” as used here
1 term as URA VP -> Helped handle professionalism and class problems and now serves as a moderator in the URA community

may be judged illegal. I’ll go and find the reference now.

Edit: here it is.

viewtopic.php?p=38411782#p38411782

Read it and the couple of posts following for context.

I had thought of that, but thank you for reminding me. There's ways it can be worded that don't make it illegal, though.
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Outer Sparta
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Postby Outer Sparta » Sun Apr 04, 2021 8:56 am

Calamari Lands wrote:
Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:If you do use this information then be aware that “moderator” as used here
1 term as URA VP -> Helped handle professionalism and class problems and now serves as a moderator in the URA community

may be judged illegal. I’ll go and find the reference now.

Edit: here it is.

viewtopic.php?p=38411782#p38411782

Read it and the couple of posts following for context.

I had thought of that, but thank you for reminding me. There's ways it can be worded that don't make it illegal, though.

If you're unsure of it, then either ask a moderator for clarification or don't include the word "moderator" unless you need to.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Sun Apr 04, 2021 9:04 am

Outer Sparta wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:I had thought of that, but thank you for reminding me. There's ways it can be worded that don't make it illegal, though.

If you're unsure of it, then either ask a moderator for clarification or don't include the word "moderator" unless you need to.

Considering the limited space I have, I probably won't bother including it.
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Sun Apr 04, 2021 4:32 pm

Posted a new draft by editing the original thread post. I think this might be the final draft, if no one has any significant criticisms. If that's the case I might even submit it tomorrow or in the next few days.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Mallorea and Riva
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Postby Mallorea and Riva » Sun Apr 04, 2021 4:47 pm

Spelling mistakes flagged below.

Calamari Lands wrote: GA#528 "Protecting Sites of Religious Significance", a resolution which drowned a neccessary site identification process in bureaucracy,
Considering that these many contributions have had an unquestionably positive impact on the international community, fighting against fascist hate and helping the evironment and art community, and thus warrant official recognition,
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Sun Apr 04, 2021 4:51 pm

Mallorea and Riva wrote:Spelling mistakes flagged below.

Calamari Lands wrote: GA#528 "Protecting Sites of Religious Significance", a resolution which drowned a neccessary site identification process in bureaucracy,
Considering that these many contributions have had an unquestionably positive impact on the international community, fighting against fascist hate and helping the evironment and art community, and thus warrant official recognition,

Fixed, thank you very much.
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Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
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> URA voting member
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Sun Apr 04, 2021 7:00 pm

Calamari Lands wrote:...showing the nominee's compromise to animal rights activism,

This makes it sound like Honeydewistania was bending the knee to "animal rights activis[ts]," which he wasn't.

Calamari Lands wrote:SC#331 and SC#324 Commend Sierra Lyricalia and The Red Fleet, a nation and region with a long-term effective compromise to Anti-Fascism,

Same complaint as above.

Calamari Lands wrote:"Promotion of Recycling", which attempted to improve environmental friendliness but failed at being effective,

I continue to object to the above, extremely vague description of GA#483. If anything, it was too effective =P

Calamari Lands wrote:SC#338 "Commend Verdant Haven" with Westinor, for [....] WA participation

Verdant Haven's "WA participation" cited in SC#338 consists of the grand total of one co-authorship of a resolution which was conveniently submitted by Honeydewistania. Is this single achievement sufficient to be meta-referenced here? :P
Last edited by Tinhampton on Sun Apr 04, 2021 7:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 1:12 am

Tinhampton wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:...showing the nominee's compromise to animal rights activism,

This makes it sound like Honeydewistania was bending the knee to "animal rights activis[ts]," which he wasn't.

Calamari Lands wrote:SC#331 and SC#324 Commend Sierra Lyricalia and The Red Fleet, a nation and region with a long-term effective compromise to Anti-Fascism,

Same complaint as above.

Calamari Lands wrote:"Promotion of Recycling", which attempted to improve environmental friendliness but failed at being effective,

I continue to object to the above, extremely vague description of GA#483. If anything, it was too effective =P

Calamari Lands wrote:SC#338 "Commend Verdant Haven" with Westinor, for [....] WA participation

Verdant Haven's "WA participation" cited in SC#338 consists of the grand total of one co-authorship of a resolution which was conveniently submitted by Honeydewistania. Is this single achievement sufficient to be meta-referenced here? :P

Made some edits based on your complaints, except the one related to the clause mentioning SC#324 and SC#331. I didn't understand how the wording was inappropriate.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 4:55 am

Edits: Made some wording changes in some areas.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

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Wrapper
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Postby Wrapper » Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:10 am

I object to the inclusion of any resolutions the target has co-authored. For one, you mention SC#331, but the target received a co-author credit by merely making some minor suggestions in the drafting thread. That is, unless it can be shown that the co-author did more than what is apparent to merit their inclusion in a commendation.

Also, you mention SC#343, in which the target is not listed as an author nor a co-author. Same for SC#340.

Do I need to check all of the other resolutions mentioned in your draft as well?

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Honeydewistania
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Postby Honeydewistania » Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:31 am

Wrapper wrote:I object to the inclusion of any resolutions the target has co-authored. For one, you mention SC#331, but the target received a co-author credit by merely making some minor suggestions in the drafting thread. That is, unless it can be shown that the co-author did more than what is apparent to merit their inclusion in a commendation.

Also, you mention SC#343, in which the target is not listed as an author nor a co-author. Same for SC#340.

Do I need to check all of the other resolutions mentioned in your draft as well?

SC#331 I privately messaged the author some suggestions/part of a draft I already wrote, which they found sufficient enough to credit me as coauthor.

For the other two, That Crazy Casbah Sound and Whatermelons Second Country are my puppets :P
Last edited by Honeydewistania on Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 6:46 am

Honeydewistania wrote:
Wrapper wrote:I object to the inclusion of any resolutions the target has co-authored. For one, you mention SC#331, but the target received a co-author credit by merely making some minor suggestions in the drafting thread. That is, unless it can be shown that the co-author did more than what is apparent to merit their inclusion in a commendation.

Also, you mention SC#343, in which the target is not listed as an author nor a co-author. Same for SC#340.

Do I need to check all of the other resolutions mentioned in your draft as well?

SC#331 I privately messaged the author some suggestions/part of a draft I already wrote, which they found sufficient enough to credit me as coauthor.

For the other two, That Crazy Casbah Sound and Whatermelons Second Country are my puppets :P

Precisely. I would specify the use of puppets but find it unnecessary to put in the proposal: it'd go over the character limit and the information is in the nominee's authorship dispatch. Also, I find that, if a resolution author found someone worthy of being credited as co-author, they deserve the recognition and I find it commendable, specifically in the cases specified in the "Aiding" clause, where they helped first-time authors.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Electrum
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Postby Electrum » Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:08 am

Calamari Lands wrote:Posted a new draft by editing the original thread post. I think this might be the final draft, if no one has any significant criticisms. If that's the case I might even submit it tomorrow or in the next few days.


Sorry. This needs way more work. In some parts, it's too wordy, in others, not enough detail is provided. If you're going to commend one of the WA's most prolific authors, you need to match that quality in your commendation.

Bolding, underlining and multi-level lists?! It's a bit much, try and pare down the formatting please.

"Environment-oriented" is awkward wording. And below, you use "Environment related resolutions". You can just say "environmental" as the adjective. "...effectively creating public interest in the fight against pollution and the destruction of ecosystems" is also awkward.

"which helped promote recycling and environmentally friendly practices in WA nations regarding waste" --> the last five words are redundant
"which put restrictions on the practice so that it will not harm ecosystems" --> what practice? what's it?

"which protects animals from being forced to die for sport in practices such as bullfighting," --> you can write this better, something like "which banned animals from participating in blood sport under coercion." Sounds a lot more formal.

"helping WA nations avoid catastrophe" --> I feel like this is self-evident, but this phrase is really non-specific.

"a resolution which overreached and resulted in disastrous consequences, such as random and perhaps insignificant sites to most being protected in perpetuity," --> I'm having trouble parsing the second half of this sentence. What about random and perhaps insignificant sites? You just state it and then move onto "most being protected in perpetuity" -- most what?

"a resolution which allowed medical tourists to disregard laws" --> Again, what laws? All laws? Those related to medicine???

"Anti-Fascist recognition" doesn't follow from the previous line. Something like "Commending anti-fascists such as..." would be better.

"Art-related justice" only applies to Noah's resolution as far as I know, and not the other two that is mentioned here. You can just broaden the category to art in general.

"in addition to more contributions to the region" is redundant.

Also, anti-fascism keeps getting weirdly capitalised everywhere. You also keep using "like", which is super colloquial. Perhaps also add a clause adding all the puppets that Honeydew has, as per the discussion above?
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:37 am

Electrum wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:Posted a new draft by editing the original thread post. I think this might be the final draft, if no one has any significant criticisms. If that's the case I might even submit it tomorrow or in the next few days.


Sorry. This needs way more work. In some parts, it's too wordy, in others, not enough detail is provided. If you're going to commend one of the WA's most prolific authors, you need to match that quality in your commendation.

Bolding, underlining and multi-level lists?! It's a bit much, try and pare down the formatting please.

"Environment-oriented" is awkward wording. And below, you use "Environment related resolutions". You can just say "environmental" as the adjective. "...effectively creating public interest in the fight against pollution and the destruction of ecosystems" is also awkward.

"which helped promote recycling and environmentally friendly practices in WA nations regarding waste" --> the last five words are redundant
"which put restrictions on the practice so that it will not harm ecosystems" --> what practice? what's it?

"which protects animals from being forced to die for sport in practices such as bullfighting," --> you can write this better, something like "which banned animals from participating in blood sport under coercion." Sounds a lot more formal.

"helping WA nations avoid catastrophe" --> I feel like this is self-evident, but this phrase is really non-specific.

"a resolution which overreached and resulted in disastrous consequences, such as random and perhaps insignificant sites to most being protected in perpetuity," --> I'm having trouble parsing the second half of this sentence. What about random and perhaps insignificant sites? You just state it and then move onto "most being protected in perpetuity" -- most what?

"a resolution which allowed medical tourists to disregard laws" --> Again, what laws? All laws? Those related to medicine???

"Anti-Fascist recognition" doesn't follow from the previous line. Something like "Commending anti-fascists such as..." would be better.

"Art-related justice" only applies to Noah's resolution as far as I know, and not the other two that is mentioned here. You can just broaden the category to art in general.

"in addition to more contributions to the region" is redundant.

Also, anti-fascism keeps getting weirdly capitalised everywhere. You also keep using "like", which is super colloquial. Perhaps also add a clause adding all the puppets that Honeydew has, as per the discussion above?

Made some edits based on your suggestions. However, I don't think changing the formatting would be good for the resolution.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
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Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

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Electrum
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Postby Electrum » Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:56 am

Wow, that was fast. Look, I really must insist you take some more time drafting and redrafting until it's perfect.

Again, I can spot redundancies/errors such as:

"Further Contributing through the Security Council with other resolutions, these being:
[...]
Art-related resolutions, through resolutions like"
Last edited by Electrum on Mon Apr 05, 2021 7:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 8:08 am

Electrum wrote:Wow, that was fast. Look, I really must insist you take some more time drafting and redrafting until it's perfect.

Again, I can spot redundancies/errors such as:

"Further Contributing through the Security Council with other resolutions, these being:
[...]
Art-related resolutions, through resolutions like"

1. Did some edits to generally make it less redundant.
2. I take suggestions and apply them quickly. That's how I work. If you notice more things wrong with the resolution, please bring them to light like you have done so far, and I will work on fixing those errors. In my opinion, there just aren't that many errors, which is why I believe I am nearing the final stages of drafting. If you disagree, keep pointing out the problems with the current draft.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

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Wrapper
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Postby Wrapper » Mon Apr 05, 2021 9:13 am

Honeydewistania wrote:SC#331 I privately messaged the author some suggestions/part of a draft I already wrote, which they found sufficient enough to credit me as coauthor.

Ah, okay. That wasn't at all apparent from the drafting thread. Thank you for clarifying, and I withdraw the objection.

Calamari Lands wrote:I would specify the use of puppets but find it unnecessary to put in the proposal: it'd go over the character limit and the information is in the nominee's authorship dispatch. Also, I find that, if a resolution author found someone worthy of being credited as co-author, they deserve the recognition and I find it commendable, specifically in the cases specified in the "Aiding" clause, where they helped first-time authors.

Specifying the use of puppets is normally how this is done. Those clauses are so wordy, you can easily trim them down and specify the puppets. If you choose not to, you run the risk of someone else making the same mistake I did, and that will cost you votes.

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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 9:19 am

Wrapper wrote:
Honeydewistania wrote:SC#331 I privately messaged the author some suggestions/part of a draft I already wrote, which they found sufficient enough to credit me as coauthor.

Ah, okay. That wasn't at all apparent from the drafting thread. Thank you for clarifying, and I withdraw the objection.

Calamari Lands wrote:I would specify the use of puppets but find it unnecessary to put in the proposal: it'd go over the character limit and the information is in the nominee's authorship dispatch. Also, I find that, if a resolution author found someone worthy of being credited as co-author, they deserve the recognition and I find it commendable, specifically in the cases specified in the "Aiding" clause, where they helped first-time authors.

Specifying the use of puppets is normally how this is done. Those clauses are so wordy, you can easily trim them down and specify the puppets. If you choose not to, you run the risk of someone else making the same mistake I did, and that will cost you votes.

I ended up mentioning the puppets because it was requested again, but I did so in the beginning of the WA section of the resolution. I feel like, if I mentioned which resolutions are authored by which nation, it would become extremely more wordy. So I simply mentioned them at the beginning. I'd say this is the reasonable middle ground between our positions, and I'm satisfied with the conclusion. However, if you disagree, I'd glaldy hear your reasoning. Perhaps I'll make a draft where I mention them in the relevant resolutions to see if it looks better, but I'm pretty sure I prefer the way it is implemented right now.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

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Wrapper
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Postby Wrapper » Mon Apr 05, 2021 9:37 am

Calamari Lands wrote:I ended up mentioning the puppets because it was requested again, but I did so in the beginning of the WA section of the resolution. I feel like, if I mentioned which resolutions are authored by which nation, it would become extremely more wordy. So I simply mentioned them at the beginning. I'd say this is the reasonable middle ground between our positions, and I'm satisfied with the conclusion. However, if you disagree, I'd glaldy hear your reasoning. Perhaps I'll make a draft where I mention them in the relevant resolutions to see if it looks better, but I'm pretty sure I prefer the way it is implemented right now.

Given the number of puppets, sure, that works, but it is worded a little awkwardly. How about:

Recognizing great and the ample contributions of Honeydewistania and its protectorates to both branches of the World Assembly, visible in their impressive 20 WA resolutions, sometimes authored by its puppets Whatermelons Second Country and That Crazy Casbah Sound having authored or co-authored 20 WA resolutions, including:

(Some of us old timers prefer a word like "protectorate" over "puppet" as the former sounds more in-character.)

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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 10:25 am

Wrapper wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:I ended up mentioning the puppets because it was requested again, but I did so in the beginning of the WA section of the resolution. I feel like, if I mentioned which resolutions are authored by which nation, it would become extremely more wordy. So I simply mentioned them at the beginning. I'd say this is the reasonable middle ground between our positions, and I'm satisfied with the conclusion. However, if you disagree, I'd glaldy hear your reasoning. Perhaps I'll make a draft where I mention them in the relevant resolutions to see if it looks better, but I'm pretty sure I prefer the way it is implemented right now.

Given the number of puppets, sure, that works, but it is worded a little awkwardly. How about:

Recognizing great and the ample contributions of Honeydewistania and its protectorates to both branches of the World Assembly, visible in their impressive 20 WA resolutions, sometimes authored by its puppets Whatermelons Second Country and That Crazy Casbah Sound having authored or co-authored 20 WA resolutions, including:

(Some of us old timers prefer a word like "protectorate" over "puppet" as the former sounds more in-character.)

Thank you for suggestion, I ended up using your wording almost exactly because I really liked it. I think that criticism can be considered taken care of now.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

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Calamari Lands
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Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 2:55 pm

Made a small edit to the anti-fascist commendations clause.

Note: Currently, I intend to submit this at some point between tomorrow and Friday, depending on when it stops receiving significant criticisms. (Personally, I'm satisfied with the resolution, but you never know. Maybe I overlooked something important.)
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

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Calamari Lands
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Founded: Aug 28, 2018
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Calamari Lands » Mon Apr 05, 2021 3:35 pm

Electrum wrote:
Calamari Lands wrote:Posted a new draft by editing the original thread post. I think this might be the final draft, if no one has any significant criticisms. If that's the case I might even submit it tomorrow or in the next few days.


Sorry. This needs way more work. In some parts, it's too wordy, in others, not enough detail is provided. If you're going to commend one of the WA's most prolific authors, you need to match that quality in your commendation.

Bolding, underlining and multi-level lists?! It's a bit much, try and pare down the formatting please.

"Environment-oriented" is awkward wording. And below, you use "Environment related resolutions". You can just say "environmental" as the adjective. "...effectively creating public interest in the fight against pollution and the destruction of ecosystems" is also awkward.

"which helped promote recycling and environmentally friendly practices in WA nations regarding waste" --> the last five words are redundant
"which put restrictions on the practice so that it will not harm ecosystems" --> what practice? what's it?

"which protects animals from being forced to die for sport in practices such as bullfighting," --> you can write this better, something like "which banned animals from participating in blood sport under coercion." Sounds a lot more formal.

"helping WA nations avoid catastrophe" --> I feel like this is self-evident, but this phrase is really non-specific.

"a resolution which overreached and resulted in disastrous consequences, such as random and perhaps insignificant sites to most being protected in perpetuity," --> I'm having trouble parsing the second half of this sentence. What about random and perhaps insignificant sites? You just state it and then move onto "most being protected in perpetuity" -- most what?

"a resolution which allowed medical tourists to disregard laws" --> Again, what laws? All laws? Those related to medicine???

"Anti-Fascist recognition" doesn't follow from the previous line. Something like "Commending anti-fascists such as..." would be better.

"Art-related justice" only applies to Noah's resolution as far as I know, and not the other two that is mentioned here. You can just broaden the category to art in general.

"in addition to more contributions to the region" is redundant.

Also, anti-fascism keeps getting weirdly capitalised everywhere. You also keep using "like", which is super colloquial. Perhaps also add a clause adding all the puppets that Honeydew has, as per the discussion above?

Edit: removed underlining.

Note: considering removing bolding, but more hesitant to do so.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

User avatar
Calamari Lands
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 104
Founded: Aug 28, 2018
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Calamari Lands » Tue Apr 06, 2021 1:53 pm

Decided to put this on last call due to multiple people thinking it's pretty much done. As I said I intend to submit before Saturday, when I do so depends on how much criticism it receives during these days. May do it after Saturday if neccessary, but I doubt it.
☆☆☆☆ Glory to Calamari Lands ☆☆☆☆
Proud members of Mariner Trench's Regional Government:
> WA Delegate
> URA voting member
> Mariner of RP
> Senator
Authorship -> SC#350, Commend Honeydewistania

IC: Comrade Vanya, WA Delegacy representative.

User avatar
Sorianora
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 156
Founded: May 23, 2020
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Sorianora » Tue Apr 06, 2021 4:44 pm

Calamari Lands wrote:Decided to put this on last call due to multiple people thinking it's pretty much done. As I said I intend to submit before Saturday, when I do so depends on how much criticism it receives during these days. May do it after Saturday if neccessary, but I doubt it.

Full support, will drop an approval for this one, nice work.
Where S3

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