NationStates

This seems incredibly well-written from what I can see and a Commendation of Atlae would be amazing to see pass :D

The one thing I personally noticed was a possible minor edit for the very end -

Believing that Atlae, through their contributions to The East Pacific and the assistance they've provided to foreign nations and regions, is an exemplary nation that personifies hard work and resilience.

Seeing as you take great care throughout to make sure to refer to Atlae as a nation rather than as a person/player, it seems a bit odd to break from that and use the verb "personifies" here - perhaps you could use "embodies" instead, or something similar, as it's used sometimes with subjects that aren't people?

Anyway, best of luck!!!

Full support of a well researched draft for a deserving nominee.

Maowi wrote:This seems incredibly well-written from what I can see and a Commendation of Atlae would be amazing to see pass

The one thing I personally noticed was a possible minor edit for the very end -

Believing that Atlae, through their contributions to The East Pacific and the assistance they've provided to foreign nations and regions, is an exemplary nation that personifies hard work and resilience.

Seeing as you take great care throughout to make sure to refer to Atlae as a nation rather than as a person/player, it seems a bit odd to break from that and use the verb "personifies" here - perhaps you could use "embodies" instead, or something similar, as it's used sometimes with subjects that aren't people?

Anyway, best of luck!!!

Thank you! ^-^ Did what you suggested and added "embodied" instead.[hr]

Ransium wrote:Full support of a well researched draft for a deserving nominee.

Thank you!

Not sure if it mandates its own draft, but regardless made some grammatical fixes and added Maowi's suggestion!

Couple of other things:
A) I've decided I'll keep the SP Liberation clause for now. While it was unsuccessful, clearly, I still believe the work Atlae put into it helps build up the argument that he deserves a commend. Even if it was not a military victory for the liberators.

B) Cat, Vir, and Alk have given explicit consent to be mentioned in this commendation. Did this to make sure Refuge's suggestion was met.

C) Initially I did say I would wait a month, but given incoming feedback and how it's mostly been fixing small things, I may look into submitting this sometime in the next week or a week after. We'll see!

Feedback still appreciated, as always!

Nice to see you here, delegate! I'd just recommend changing the last clause--in the rest of the proposal, you do a good job referring to the nation as the nominee, and not the player, but "they've" clearly refers to the real-life user. I'd change it to "the nation" or even just "Atlae".

Other than that, full support.

Barfleur wrote:Nice to see you here, delegate! I'd just recommend changing the last clause--in the rest of the proposal, you do a good job referring to the nation as the nominee, and not the player, but "they've" clearly refers to the real-life user. I'd change it to "the nation" or even just "Atlae".

Other than that, full support.

Oop, thank you! Added to (what will be eventually) the 5th draft. And nice to meet you ^0^

Once Altino and Halo are Commended, then I am totally into Atlae being commended.... Until then, no.

Big Bad Badger wrote:Once Altino and Halo are Commended, then I am totally into Atlae being commended.... Until then, no.

Fair. Although I'll still continue on with this as I do think Atlae deserves a commend, regardless of whether Altino or Halo are commended (although my personal opinion is that they should be commended as well).

Atlae was always a great senpai, it was his recruitment posts that convinced me to join TEP and epsuh as a whole. While I retired from all TEP roles, I'll always fondly remember Atlae and how he taught me how to navigate NS.

Yeah, they deserve a Commendation. Definitely voting for, even removing any bias.

Idrk what else I can add at this point lmao, SC proposals are hard and confusing in my eyes

One thing I'd recommend is putting emphasis on "E.P.S.A." somewhere in the draft, as it is the obvious correct way to pronounce it

Loreintor wrote:Atlae was always a great senpai, it was his recruitment posts that convinced me to join TEP and epsuh as a whole. While I retired from all TEP roles, I'll always fondly remember Atlae and how he taught me how to navigate NS.

Yeah, they deserve a Commendation. Definitely voting for, even removing any bias.

Idrk what else I can add at this point lmao, SC proposals are hard and confusing in my eyes

^-^

I would appreciate this comment but you said "epsuh". >:C [HR]

Great Algerstonia wrote:One thing I'd recommend is putting emphasis on "E.P.S.A." somewhere in the draft, as it is the obvious correct way to pronounce it

*nods* that's the TRUE way to say it! Although I probably won't add it in because it's too many periods ;w;

Zukchiva wrote:

Loreintor wrote:Atlae was always a great senpai, it was his recruitment posts that convinced me to join TEP and epsuh as a whole. While I retired from all TEP roles, I'll always fondly remember Atlae and how he taught me how to navigate NS.

Yeah, they deserve a Commendation. Definitely voting for, even removing any bias.

Idrk what else I can add at this point lmao, SC proposals are hard and confusing in my eyes

^-^

I would appreciate this comment but you said "epsuh". >:C [HR]

Great Algerstonia wrote:One thing I'd recommend is putting emphasis on "E.P.S.A." somewhere in the draft, as it is the obvious correct way to pronounce it

*nods* that's the TRUE way to say it! Although I probably won't add it in because it's too many periods ;w;

SINCE WHEN HAS PUNCTUATION STOPPED YOU, MR. DELEGOOSE?

Made a slight edit to draft 4, regarding the Admiring clause. Changed puppet states to art districts per feedback I've received on Discord.

And Alger, pronunciation has stopped me here. uwu

EDIT: Also edited in Barfleur's suggestions.

Still looks very solid to me. Perhaps listing some successful, major operations that Atlae has led would improve it, but beyond that, I don't have many other edits in mind.

(Although you did mispell Wallenburg's name in the OP! )

The Security Council,

Recognizing that The Atlae Isles (or Atlae) is a diligent, hard-working, and determined nation which has performed admirable deeds in the past few years.

Admiring the work of Atlae as the Overseeing Officer of the Eastern Pacific Sovereign Army (EPSA), where the nation:
Revived the Army and spurred activity to levels the Army it had not witnessed since 2014;
Engaged the Army in countless joint operations with other regional militaries, deepening fruitful relations between The East Pacific and many of its allies such as the South Pacific, The North Pacific, Thaecia, and Europeia;
Actively trained newcomers to become future leaders and officers in the Army.

Should army be capitalised? Would using EPSA be better? One other minor change suggested.

Lauding Atlae’s service as Commander of the Phoenix Flock Fleet (South Pacific liberation forces) in 2020, where it recruited a total of 51 dozens of residents from The East Pacific, kept liberation infrastructure organized, assisted in timing military movement, and thus heavily contributed to the liberation of South Pacific being one of the largest liberation attempts in modern history.

Minor change suggested.

Applauding Atlae’s monumental work within The East Pacific’s international artwork organization (The Eastern Association of Pacifican Ornamental Traders) where the nominee assisted in founding the Association and helped write its charter, hosted multiple artwork collection events, mentored multiple nations in the ways of artwork curation, and ultimately played an influential role in forming The East Pacific’s artwork community.

Admiring the nation’s work in curating the portraitures of nations in The East Pacific into two separately maintained galleries, hosted in Atlae's art districts of S1 TEP Collector and S2 TEP Collector. These galleries have allowed East Pacifican nations to easily access the diverse artworks of their regionmates.

Looks good, no suggestions here.

Noticing the nominee’s contributions to The East Pacific as:
Chief Officer of Justice, where it brought up multiple legal questions to the Conclave for legal clarifications, brought suspected nations to trial before the regional court, and otherwise diligently labored to improve and address ambiguity within the region’s laws when at all possible;
Deputy Minister of Information, where the nominee created high quality articles, aided in developing the Eastern Pacific News Service, mentored past and present Editors of the EPNS, and assisted new Editors in their tasks;
Magister for over 2 years, where it tirelessly debated Eastern Pacific law and constantly questioned executive officials and nominees to hold the government accountable, as well as facilitating debate and faithfully maintaining records for future reference as Provost;
Senior Diplomat of Foreign Affairs, where it advised Delegate Libertanny on how to navigate numerous foreign affairs crises, guided and oversaw the work of Eastern Pacifican ambassadors, and overall worked to improve The East Pacific’s relations with foreign regions;

When or where? Again just a minor nit-pick

Revering the nominee’s steadfast and consistent mentorship, as it continually introduced new nations to The East Pacific’s regional government and politics, with many of these nations (such as Catiania, Libertanny, Virgolia, and Eastern Alksearia) becoming regional leaders thanks to the nominee’s extensive guidance.

Praising Atlae’s initiative in revealing pertinent and relevant issues for national governments across the globe to deliberate upon, including:
Issue #752 (nicknamed “The Immortal Cells of Mrs. Gratwick”), in which national leaders are called to consider the ethical implications of using the cells from a dead citizen to create a medical treatment for cancer;
Issue #816 (nicknamed “A Hot Topic”), where national leaders are asked to deliberate on the benefits of using controlled fires to prevent larger fires from becoming widespread;
Issue #967 (nicknamed “Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics”), an issue that asks leaders to consider fiercely combating misinformation after pizza is labelled as a healthy food in an obscure scientific journal.

Believing that Atlae, through its contributions to The East Pacific and the assistance it has provided to foreign nations and regions, is an exemplary nation that embodies hard work and resilience.

Hereby commends The Atlae Isles.

No suggestions for this section.

All of the stuff I've highlighted are just minor bits and pieces - it's really a very good draft. Lots of detail, well researched, well written.

I second the consideration of the phrase "dozens of" or something to that effect. Ambiguity, in my opinion, helps shield resolutions from age. Maybe in five years somehow 51 people will be an obsolete or entirely typical number. What matters is that right now it’s impressive and that’s how it should be treated.

No suggestions beyond that, and I would support this at vote.

Crowheim wrote:Still looks very solid to me. Perhaps listing some successful, major operations that Atlae has led would improve it, but beyond that, I don't have many other edits in mind. Thank you for the suggestion!

(Although you did mispell Wallenburg's name in the OP! )

I'll look around and see if he did lead some.

And I can never spell Wall's name correctly uwu

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"BBD" wrote:Should army be capitalised? Would using EPSA be better? One other minor change suggested.

Hm, I uncapitalized "Army" and used EPSA once. I think switching b/w Army and EPSA gives it a tad bit more variety~

When or where? Again just a minor nit-pick

Replaced when with where.

All of the stuff I've highlighted are just minor bits and pieces - it's really a very good draft. Lots of detail, well researched, well written.

Your suggestions are very much appreciated- many thanks again! ^-^

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BBD wrote:Minor change suggested.

Refuge wrote:I second the consideration of the phrase "dozens of" or something to that effect. Ambiguity, in my opinion, helps shield resolutions from age. Maybe in five years somehow 51 people will be an obsolete or entirely typical number. What matters is that right now it’s impressive and that’s how it should be treated.

No suggestions beyond that, and I would support this at vote.

Done. Thank you for the comment, Refuge!

All changes edited into the fourth draft.

Few things:

1. Asked around, couldn't find any other big-scale liberations Atlae led. Smol Fur Empire was one, but one operation isn't really enough to make a separate list of operations. Regardless, I thank Crow for the suggestion: it wasn't something I thought of trying to do until now! <3

2. We are now in the third week of this resolution being posted! I've talked with Libertanny, and we've decided to put this on Last Call. It'll probably be submitted in four days, give or take a day. Unless, of course, copious amounts of feedback are given- in which case we'll delay submission.

Reason we're doing this now is because most feedback has been primarily nitpicks, which indicates (to me at least) that this draft is ready to go to vote. Feedback is still accepted, of course. And appreciated! I'll be giving this a read through myself, before submission, to fix up anything I notice.

EDIT: Will submit this a week from now, instead. Mainly because I don't want to be rushing this too much and give room for feedback. May submit it a little later than a week, we'll see.

He's a great card farmer, revived EPSA, issues author, and just good contributor to TEP in general so support!!!!

There's a couple of proposals and dross in the queue right now though (dross, of course, does not include Condemn Scar). Maybe wait until that goes to vote? but still, support.

The Python wrote:He's a great card farmer, revived EPSA, issues author, and just good contributor to TEP in general so support!!!!

There's a couple of proposals and dross in the queue right now though (dross, of course, does not include Condemn Scar). Maybe wait until that goes to vote? but still, support.

Thank you! And yeah, we may just submit this after the dross is gone. We'll have to wait and see.

(Sorry for responding late.)

looks good zukkles

I am going to break from the majority here; I'm not convinced yet that Atlae is commendable. I think it could be signficiantly improved to demonstrate how Atlae is commendable and as prompted on Discord, I have provided my thoughts below.

Zukchiva wrote:Admiring the work of Atlae as the Overseeing Officer of the Eastern Pacific Sovereign Army (EPSA), where the nation:

• Revived the army and spurred activity to levels it had not witnessed since 2014;
• Engaged the EPSA in countless joint operations with other regional militaries, deepening fruitful relations between The East Pacific and many of its allies such as the South Pacific, The North Pacific, Thaecia, and Europeia;
• Actively trained newcomers to become future leaders and officers in the army.

This is rather unspecific in a number of places, I think it could be improved by providing more details on "spurred activity to levels it had not witnessed since 2014" and on training newcomers. It would benefit the resolution to potentially list some of those newcomers who have become prominent members of the EPSA.

Lauding Atlae’s service as Commander of the Phoenix Flock Fleet (South Pacific liberation forces) in 2020, where it recruited dozens of residents from The East Pacific, kept liberation infrastructure organized, assisted in timing military movement, and thus heavily contributed to the liberation of South Pacific being one of the largest liberation attempts in modern history.

It feels a bit strange to me that a single liberation is so prominent in this resolution. Also, in your last phrase, it's confusing to me to state that the liberation of SP was one of the largest liberation attempts but also a liberation. An attempt typically carries the connotation that it was unsuccessful which I get the impression from the rest of this section that it was successful.

Applauding Atlae’s monumental work within The East Pacific’s international artwork organization (The Eastern Association of Pacifican Ornamental Traders) where the nominee assisted in founding the Association and helped write its charter, hosted multiple artwork collection events, mentored multiple nations in the ways of artwork curation, and ultimately played an influential role in forming The East Pacific’s artwork community.

There have been a number of regional cards organizations being created recently, I think that the formation of these is noteworthy, however, I do think it is rather unspecific in some places here specifically the mentoring and the influential role being played. I'm also quite skeptical that writing the Charter should be included here. It is heavily lifted from the Cards Guild's including one section mentioning of the Guild which was not changed to fit TEP's theme.

Noticing the nominee’s contributions to The East Pacific as:

• Chief Officer of Justice, where it brought up multiple legal questions to the Conclave for legal clarifications, brought suspected nations to trial before the regional court, and otherwise diligently labored to improve and address ambiguity within the region’s laws where at all possible;
• Deputy Minister of Information, where the nominee created high quality articles, aided in developing the Eastern Pacific News Service, mentored past and present Editors of the EPNS, and assisted new Editors in their tasks;
• Magister for over 2 years, where it tirelessly debated Eastern Pacific law and constantly questioned executive officials and nominees to hold the government accountable, as well as facilitating debate and faithfully maintaining records for future reference as Provost;
• Senior Diplomat of Foreign Affairs, where it advised Delegate Libertanny on how to navigate numerous foreign affairs crises, guided and oversaw the work of Eastern Pacifican ambassadors, and overall worked to improve The East Pacific’s relations with foreign regions;

Why should people care about TEP (I'm not actually asking, I think including a rationale for caring about TEP's internal affairs would improve this section)? Again, I think you can be quite more specific in a number of places to better demonstrate his commendability, specifically how many articles he has created, who or how many he has mentored, what he advised Libertanny on and what relations were improved, etc.

That being said, while this is all good stuff, I'm not sure if it really rises to the level of Commendation for me.

Revering the nominee’s steadfast and consistent mentorship, as it continually introduced new nations to The East Pacific’s regional government and politics, with many of these nations (such as Catiania, Libertanny, Virgolia, and Eastern Alksearia) becoming regional leaders thanks to the nominee’s extensive guidance.

As you have room for more characters, providing context on who some of these players are would be helpful in demonstrating who he has impacted.

Praising Atlae’s initiative in revealing pertinent and relevant issues for national governments across the globe to deliberate upon, including:

• Issue #752 (nicknamed “The Immortal Cells of Mrs. Gratwick”), in which national leaders are called to consider the ethical implications of using the cells from a dead citizen to create a medical treatment for cancer;
• Issue #816 (nicknamed “A Hot Topic”), where national leaders are asked to deliberate on the benefits of using controlled fires to prevent larger fires from becoming widespread;
• Issue #967 (nicknamed “Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics”), an issue that asks leaders to consider fiercely combating misinformation after pizza is labelled as a healthy food in an obscure scientific journal.

Out of everything you have listed, this convinces me the most that Atlae is Commendable. I think this should be at the top.

Overall, I am unfortunately not seeing a case for Commendation yet personally. While Atlae does have an impressive track record in a variety of areas, I'm not sure if it's distinguished enough yet.

Epic, thank you for the feedback, Praeceps. I'll respond to it sometime today.

Thank you Honey uwu

EDIT: Will have to respond tomorrow.

This is rather unspecific in a number of places, I think it could be improved by providing more details on "spurred activity to levels it had not witnessed since 2014" and on training newcomers. It would benefit the resolution to potentially list some of those newcomers who have become prominent members of the EPSA.

Hm, I'll try to specify the activity clause and list some newcomers that I do have in mind.

It feels a bit strange to me that a single liberation is so prominent in this resolution. Also, in your last phrase, it's confusing to me to state that the liberation of SP was one of the largest liberation attempts but also a liberation. An attempt typically carries the connotation that it was unsuccessful which I get the impression from the rest of this section that it was successful.

It is a bit weird, I know. Especially given that it was unsuccessful. But in my opinion, it goes to show just what type of a nation Atlae is, so it ultimately is a good addition to the commend.

And oop, will do le fix and clarify that. Wasn't my intent!

There have been a number of regional cards organizations being created recently, I think that the formation of these is noteworthy, however, I do think it is rather unspecific in some places here specifically the mentoring and the influential role being played. I'm also quite skeptical that writing the Charter should be included here. It is heavily lifted from the Cards Guild's including one section mentioning of the Guild which was not changed to fit TEP's theme.

Ah, I'll clarify the mentor bit and the influential bit. And my bad on the Charter, will remove that.

Why should people care about TEP (I'm not actually asking, I think including a rationale for caring about TEP's internal affairs would improve this section)? Again, I think you can be quite more specific in a number of places to better demonstrate his commendability, specifically how many articles he has created, who or how many he has mentored, what he advised Libertanny on and what relations were improved, etc.

You're totally right- I'll add a rationale!

Hm, I'll see if I can specify stuff. Not sure if it's extantly nessecary to state so many statistics, but I can probably specify on some Editors he helped and what relations were improved, mainly. Shall see.

As you have room for more characters, providing context on who some of these players are would be helpful in demonstrating who he has impacted.

If I have enough characters after your other suggested edits, I can try specifying who these players are yeah.

Out of everything you have listed, this convinces me the most that Atlae is Commendable. I think this should be at the top.

Will be shot to the top!

I am going to break from the majority here; I'm not convinced yet that Atlae is commendable. I think it could be signficiantly improved to demonstrate how Atlae is commendable and as prompted on Discord, I have provided my thoughts below.

That being said, while this is all good stuff, I'm not sure if it really rises to the level of Commendation for me.

Overall, I am unfortunately not seeing a case for Commendation yet personally. While Atlae does have an impressive track record in a variety of areas, I'm not sure if it's distinguished enough yet.

It's my personal thinking that not every action in a commend has to be commendable itself, but they can help support the resolution and- with other deeds included, make a good argument for the commend. I also think Atlae's extensive track records in the East (as they would show within any region) indicate traits that make Atlae commend-worthy, which is why I included it. So the fact that it is good stuff is good enough for me. (Although personally speaking, I do think the record overall is commendable.)

Ultimately, I respect your disagreement and I can see where you're coming from regarding your feelings of this resolution and its nominee. However, I'll still most likely submit this to vote eventually, as I personally do believe Atlae is commendable.

Also, will be moving this out of Last Call to properly include your feedback. Thank you for it! <3

Zukchiva wrote:It is a bit weird, I know. Especially given that it was unsuccessful. But in my opinion, it goes to show just what type of a nation Atlae is, so it ultimately is a good addition to the commend.

The liberation wasn't successful?! I really don't think it should be included in that case. It would be bizarre to commend someone for writing a GA resolution/commendation/condemnation that doesn't pass (I'm excluding liberations here since they can accomplish their goal without passing), submitting an issue that doesn't make it into the game, a multi-regional organization that quickly fails, etc. I think it's quite weird to commend someone for trying to liberate a region.

It's my personal thinking that not every action in a commend has to be commendable itself, but they can help support the resolution and- with other deeds included, make a good argument for the commend. I also think Atlae's extensive track records in the East (as they would show within any region) indicate traits that make Atlae commend-worthy, which is why I included it. So the fact that it is good stuff is good enough for me. (Although personally speaking, I do think the record overall is commendable.)

Ultimately, I respect your disagreement and I can see where you're coming from regarding your feelings of this resolution and its nominee. However, I'll still most likely submit this to vote eventually, as I personally do believe Atlae is commendable.

Also, will be moving this out of Last Call to properly include your feedback. Thank you for it! <3

I definitely agree on your first point that not everything has to be Commendable in of itself but can be used to support an argument for commendation. Region-building commendations/condemnations are quite hard to evaluate in that regard.

You have quite a number of government positions listed, I'm not sure if that's comprehensive, however, based on my experience, you can have people serving in government whose performance ranges from excellent to good to average to poor. Now, there are a lot of players in government positions of prominent regions, if we recognized all of them, the SC would be quite busy! I personally imagine it takes excellent performances to be recognized. Aside, from the EPSA, I'm not quite convinced that his performance in government positions is excellent—that's not saying that his performances weren't excellent, just that I don't think those positions communicate an excellent performance and could use more details to try to communicate that if it's the case (and even then I do think the EPSA could use more details ).