NATION

PASSWORD

Proposal: Commend “Renegalle”

A chamber dedicated to the dissemination of inter-regional peace and goodwill, via force if necessary.
User avatar
Connotar
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 13
Founded: Nov 29, 2020
Ex-Nation

Proposal: Commend “Renegalle”

Postby Connotar » Tue Feb 02, 2021 8:40 pm

I am making a proposal to commend Renegalle, the Founder of Force. This is what it should look like. (I’m new to the WA and the Forums, so I don’t really know how this works, but I’m just gonna try, since Renegalle really deserves to be commended)
Security Council,
Acknowledging that Renegalle has founded an excellent Region, Force, and that it is active and friendly. Renegalle has made a Discord server and a Forum, both of which are extremely active. Also acknowledging that he has made an eye-boggling level of advancement of a region, quite possibly one of the best of all regions. He therefore deserves to be commended.
Hereby commends Renegalle. So what do you think?

User avatar
Drew Durrnil
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1190
Founded: Apr 30, 2020
Anarchy

Postby Drew Durrnil » Tue Feb 02, 2021 9:04 pm

Connotar wrote:I am making a proposal to commend Renegalle, the Founder of Force. This is what it should look like. (I’m new to the WA and the Forums, so I don’t really know how this works, but I’m just gonna try, since Renegalle really deserves to be commended)
Security Council,
Acknowledging that Renegalle has founded an excellent Region, Force, and that it is active and friendly. Renegalle has made a Discord server and a Forum, both of which are extremely active. Also acknowledging that he has made an eye-boggling level of advancement of a region, quite possibly one of the best of all regions. He therefore deserves to be commended.
Hereby commends Renegalle. So what do you think?

Your proposal is short and not very good, and I recommend that you read the rules first before you write anything. Your proposal also breaks a lot of rules, such as 4th wall breaking.

Here is a rewriting of your proposal to avoid rule-breaking and to fix up some of the rough spots:
Drew Durrnil wrote:The Security Council,
Acknowledging that Renegalle has founded an excellent Region, Force, which is extremely friendly;
Noticing that Renegalle has created a prosperous regional community in Force, which is extremely active;
Praising that they have made an astonishing amount of advancement in Force, which is one of the best of all the regions;
Hereby commends Renegalle.

My version of your draft still isn't that good. Try to find more facts about Force and add it to your proposal.
Last edited by Drew Durrnil on Tue Feb 02, 2021 9:13 pm, edited 4 times in total.
A Shark Republic
My Factbook
Atheris wrote:0/10. Using this fifth glyph in casual talk is not only inimical, but also shows that human minds act not of individual thoughts but of compulsory will by a dug-in aristocracy.
Atheris wrote:*pulls out anime weapons*
weeaboo mode!
*screams in depression and existential dread*
Nantoraka wrote:
The Nantorakan government would like to express their concerns about all the pedophiles lurking in this market. There's so much grease and body oil in the offers being made, that you could fry chicken in it. We strongly advise wearing a mask when making deals because the strong smell of kid-diddler permeates the air like a dead, fermenting animal.

News: Former Elite President Pæta Marlín joins the cult of Yahlia, calling it his "sexual and spiritual awakening".

User avatar
Outer Sparta
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 11671
Founded: Dec 26, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Outer Sparta » Tue Feb 02, 2021 11:31 pm

You need to add more detail to your draft to make an argument why they should be commended. I also recommend to clean up your draft a bit so it's easier to read and follow.
social democracy, environmental protection, universal healthcare, free college, social equality, LGBT, pro-choice,
GOP, corporate socialism, Trump, neoconservatism, white supremacy, extreme political views, corruption

User avatar
Bobberino
Bureaucrat
 
Posts: 45
Founded: Mar 16, 2018
Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Bobberino » Tue Feb 02, 2021 11:50 pm

Putting aside the fact I'm pretty against this on paper (given what I know about the target, they've done nothing within the scope of commendability), you need to clean this up. But there are some folks out there who'd be happy to help you on that. Who knows, maybe you do know more about him than I do. Best of luck!
Hi! I'm Bobberino. Not sure why you're wasting your time reading this but eventually I'll figure out all my positions. That time is not now.

Obligatory disclaimer that my posts do not represent any region or any official position therein. All opinions are mine, and mine alone, unless otherwise stated.

Have a nice day! :)

User avatar
Bhang Bhang Duc
Minister
 
Posts: 2855
Founded: Dec 17, 2003
New York Times Democracy

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Wed Feb 03, 2021 12:17 am

My usual advice: read and understand the rules (as has been pointed out your initial draft is illegal), research your nominee and produce reasons why they should be commended and finally check out passed C&Cs to get an idea of the standard required.

At the moment, as well as being illegal, your draft has no details and is formatted very poorly.
Former Delegate and Guardian of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart

Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

User avatar
Connotar
Lobbyist
 
Posts: 13
Founded: Nov 29, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Connotar » Wed Feb 03, 2021 7:32 am

Drew Durrnil wrote:
Connotar wrote:I am making a proposal to commend Renegalle, the Founder of Force. This is what it should look like. (I’m new to the WA and the Forums, so I don’t really know how this works, but I’m just gonna try, since Renegalle really deserves to be commended)
Security Council,
Acknowledging that Renegalle has founded an excellent Region, Force, and that it is active and friendly. Renegalle has made a Discord server and a Forum, both of which are extremely active. Also acknowledging that he has made an eye-boggling level of advancement of a region, quite possibly one of the best of all regions. He therefore deserves to be commended.
Hereby commends Renegalle. So what do you think?

Your proposal is short and not very good, and I recommend that you read the rules first before you write anything. Your proposal also breaks a lot of rules, such as 4th wall breaking.

Here is a rewriting of your proposal to avoid rule-breaking and to fix up some of the rough spots:
Drew Durrnil wrote:The Security Council,
Acknowledging that Renegalle has founded an excellent Region, Force, which is extremely friendly;
Noticing that Renegalle has created a prosperous regional community in Force, which is extremely active;
Praising that they have made an astonishing amount of advancement in Force, which is one of the best of all the regions;
Hereby commends Renegalle.

My version of your draft still isn't that good. Try to find more facts about Force and add it to your proposal.

OK, they said it was illegal anyways. Thanks for the help, though!

User avatar
Comfed
Diplomat
 
Posts: 925
Founded: Apr 09, 2020
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Comfed » Wed Feb 03, 2021 7:33 am

Nothing remotely commendable here.
Mall:
Best part about being a mod was engaging in normal player behavior and getting accused of abuse
"You think this is abuse? I'll SHOW you abuse."
Ever-Wandering Souls wrote:In the liberal justice system, raiding-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In The South Pacific, the dedicated defenders who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Council on Regional Security. These are their proscriptions. DUN DUN.

Numero Capitan wrote:I haven't bothered reading back but I can unequivocally say that I agree with everything HEM has said and Unibot is wrong

Put this in your sig if you passed biology and know that gender and sex are not the same thing.

User avatar
Bhang Bhang Duc
Minister
 
Posts: 2855
Founded: Dec 17, 2003
New York Times Democracy

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Wed Feb 03, 2021 11:08 am

From reading the Force RMB it looks like the OP has decided to put this in the “Too hard” basket.
Former Delegate and Guardian of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart

Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

User avatar
Drew Durrnil
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1190
Founded: Apr 30, 2020
Anarchy

Postby Drew Durrnil » Wed Feb 03, 2021 11:10 am

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:From reading the Force RMB it looks like the OP has decided to put this in the “Too hard” basket.

Its also frowned upon to commend someone in your own region.
Last edited by Drew Durrnil on Wed Feb 03, 2021 11:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
A Shark Republic
My Factbook
Atheris wrote:0/10. Using this fifth glyph in casual talk is not only inimical, but also shows that human minds act not of individual thoughts but of compulsory will by a dug-in aristocracy.
Atheris wrote:*pulls out anime weapons*
weeaboo mode!
*screams in depression and existential dread*
Nantoraka wrote:
The Nantorakan government would like to express their concerns about all the pedophiles lurking in this market. There's so much grease and body oil in the offers being made, that you could fry chicken in it. We strongly advise wearing a mask when making deals because the strong smell of kid-diddler permeates the air like a dead, fermenting animal.

News: Former Elite President Pæta Marlín joins the cult of Yahlia, calling it his "sexual and spiritual awakening".

User avatar
Dogeen
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Jan 18, 2021
Ex-Nation

Postby Dogeen » Wed Feb 03, 2021 11:14 am

I'm pretty sure the person trying to commend Renegalle doesn't know much about how the WA works or how commendation works and is just doing this because the nation is a friend of his/her's.

User avatar
Bhang Bhang Duc
Minister
 
Posts: 2855
Founded: Dec 17, 2003
New York Times Democracy

Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Wed Feb 03, 2021 2:03 pm

Drew Durrnil wrote:
Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:From reading the Force RMB it looks like the OP has decided to put this in the “Too hard” basket.

Its also frowned upon to commend someone in your own region.

No, not really. See this post in another thread.

viewtopic.php?p=38292272#p38292272

Commending your own region is a bit more problematic.
Former Delegate and Guardian of The West Pacific. TWP's Former Minister for World Assembly Affairs

The West Pacific's Official Welshman, Astronomer and Old Fart

Pierconium wrote:I see Funk as an opportunistic manipulator that utilises the means available to him to reach his goals. In other words, a nation after my own heart.

RiderSyl wrote:If an enchantress made it so one raid could bring about world peace, Unibot would ask raiders to just sign a petition instead.

User avatar
Pluvie
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 148
Founded: Apr 14, 2020
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Pluvie » Wed Feb 03, 2021 4:19 pm

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Commending your own region is a bit more problematic.

I would be inclined to agree with this. Commending regionmates is just like commending friends, and commends done by friends are often a lot better informed and better written due to a personal relationship with the commendee. Commending ones own region is slightly less chill as that includes yourself and so it's kind of like commending your own nation which is often considered to be in very poor taste.
Main of Aramantha, resident Enby, Fox, Dragon, Catgirl, Time Traveller, Spectre of Hearts, Kangaroo(???), possibly or possibly not a madcap magician, apparently Dolphin?, and friend to (almost) all! You better be having a good day or I'll have to come give you a good day myself :<

User avatar
Silvedania
Minister
 
Posts: 3148
Founded: Apr 17, 2020
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Silvedania » Fri Feb 05, 2021 1:28 pm

Renegalle is a great nation, but this proposal doesn't outline this well or really state any reasons for commendation.
Silvedania, the majestic nation.
NS Stats are mostly accurate except for a few things, like this nation is capitalist and the death penalty isn't in effect

News:All trade with Crabaiaia and Pikala has stopped as diplomats meet in Trenaka.  Silvedanians are confused by Quentin Tarantulatino's new film, Seasonal Snackbox(This is a Bojack Horseman reference.) Weird song goes viral for making no sense.

Co-founder of LITA | Member of ICDN | Former Member of SETA | Member of IFTC | He/Him/His | Airport: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=493569#p37851012
Being president looks like the worst job in the world. -John Mulaney


Advertisement

Remove ads

Return to Security Council

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Alaska Hawaii and the Aleutes, Honeydewistania, Jutlop, Trigori

Advertisement

Remove ads