[DRAFT] Condemn Araraukar
Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2020 3:37 pm"The vile cesspit of general scumminess known as Araraukar has been defiling the General Assembly for far too long. It's high time to bring their antics to an end."
Condemn Araraukar
Category: Moral Decency
Strength: Sweeping
The Security Council,
Amazed by the ongoing efforts of the General Assembly to improve the world through legislation on a vast range of important issues, from child labor to support of the arts,
Recognizing that neither the General Assembly nor the world at large would be where they are today without the cumulative efforts of thousands of ambassadors both immortalized and long forgotten,
Appalled, however, by the continued presence of freeloading delegations who do little other than camping out on the steps of the World Assembly Headquarters to degrade new ambassadors, relegating promising legislative proposals to the dustbin of history, and grinding the wheels of international bureaucracy to a standstill,
Repudiated by the ongoing sabotage, such as that detailed above, inflicted upon the noble and benevolent General Assembly by the delegation of Araraukar,
Astonished by the fact that this nation’s delegation has yet to author a single World Assembly resolution, despite repeatedly berating other nations’ ambassadors from a position of supposed authority for most of the existence of the world as we know it,
Understanding that the nation in question has taken it upon themselves to gleefully mutilate every piece of international law they can get their hands on in disgusting “proposal vivisections,” the most damaging of which have culminated in gutted travesties such as GAR #478 “Ensuring Commercial Vessel Navigation” and GAR #480 “Wartime Healthcare Protections”, alongside many others for which the target demanded they be listed as a coauthor as a perverse reward for their sabotage, serving to both further destabilize the GA and permanently ingrain their corruption in the history of the Assembly in one fell swoop,
Knowing that the shadow government of Araraukar maintains uncomfortably close ties with Potted Plants United, and that the two nations have engaged in frequent antics which they consider a mere game to the detriment of all, such as unethically experimenting on non-consenting humans in a flagrant violation of the very principles the WA was created to uphold, for no purpose other than wasting the time of the world at large and distracting other governments from legitimate threats and more pressing matters,
Aware of Araraukar’s constant and inexcusable references to an “Olympic Organizing Committee” in nearly all of their interactions with foreign ambassadors, a most insidious practice which serves to subliminally trap other delegations under the spell of Araraukar’s incomprehensible hatred of the committees the World Assembly depends on to function, is used to repeatedly crush the hopes of promising ambassadors while attempting to shirk all responsibility, and betrays the target’s aspirations of a General Assembly authorship they know they will never have,
Recoiling at Araraukar’s long history of being represented by unprofessional “diplomats” whose behavior flies in the face of international politics and common decency, including but not limited to ongoing substance abuse, alcoholism, and provocative dancing on tables,
Bemused by the persistent laziness of the Araraukarian delegation, which has repeatedly cited being too tired, too busy, and too drunk as excuses to not perform the duties they were allegedly hired to perform, a laziness which may be the only thing preventing such vile individuals from utterly annihilating the General Assembly as recognizable today,
Adding that:Determined to forever relegate this disgusting excuse of a nation to the halls of infamy within this venerable three-walled assembly, and prevent any more honorable ambassadors from falling prey to its scheming,
- the government of Araraukar has taken to exploiting its own people for sport in addition to its antics on the international scene, as aptly demonstrated when a so-called “war” between the nations of Araraukar and Potted Plants United was used as cover for the Araraukarian government to relocate a large number of people from land to be turned over to PPU as part of a trade agreement, which the government exploited to eliminate the vibrant local culture in the affected areas by dispersing the evacuated persons throughout Araraukar in an ill-disguised attempt at cultural assimilation, and
- the Araraukarian delegation wrote a rambling manifesto designed explicitly to undermine the World Assembly through the corruption of new ambassadors, which includes obscene discussion of private topics such as the color of soldiers' undergarments,
Hereby condemns Araraukar.
