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[Draft] Commend Imkiville

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Domais
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[Draft] Commend Imkiville

Postby Domais » Tue May 26, 2020 6:54 am

The Security Council,

Duly noting that the government of Imkiville has produced several national and regional artworks, including:
[*] The current regional flag and crest of Lazarus,
[*] The current crest for the South Pacific Special Forces,
[*] The current flag of Ruining Nazi Sandcastles;[/list]

Recognizing, Imkiville’s long lasting positive impact on Lazarus, a region torn apart by internal strife. Imkiville successfully overthrew then Delegate of Lazarus Killer Kitty, paving the way for a new government, that would heal many of the wounds from the previous conflict;

Applauding that Imkiville allowed natives that were previously banished to return to Lazarus, while simultaneously allowing those supportive of the previous government to remain;

Adding that even after Imkiville resigned as World Assembly Delegate of Lazarus it still remained as a Security Auditor of Lazarus and its government continued to produce and aid in the production of many national and regional artworks;
 
Noting, that the government of Lazarus that Imkiville created is still the government of Lazarus today, showing that Imkiville has created a stable environment for residents of Lazarus to reside in;

Further recognizing, Imkiville's contributions to the South Pacific serving as Vice-Delegate, Local Councilor and Minister of Military Affairs, and that during its tenure as Minister of Military Affairs they are credited with the revival of the South Pacific Special Forces and allowing it to reach its potential as a powerful force;

Believing that the contributions Imkiville has made to the international community should not be overlooked, and that they should be rewarded with a commendation form the Security Council;

Hereby commends Imkiville.

Co-Authored by Honeydewistania.

I would like some help with the South Pacific part and help with other parts would be helpful.
Last edited by Domais on Wed May 27, 2020 6:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
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A Bloodred Moon
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Postby A Bloodred Moon » Tue May 26, 2020 6:59 am

Domais wrote:
The Security Council,

Duly noting that the government of Imkiville has produced several national and regional artworks that belong in a museum,

Recognizing, Imkiville’s long lasting positive impact on Lazarus, a region torn apart by internal strife. Imkiville successfully overthrew then Delegate of Lazarus Killer Kitty, paving the way for a new government, that would heal many of the wounds from the previous conflict,

Applauding that Imkiville allowed natives that were previously banished to return to Lazarus, while simultaneously allowing those supportive of the previous government to remain,

Adding that even after Imkiville lost the position of World Assembly Delegate of Lazarus it still made contributions to Lazarus,
 
Noting, that the government of Lazarus that Imkiville created is still the government of Lazarus today,

Further recognizing, Inkiville's contributions to the South Pacific serving as Vice-Delegate, Local Councilor and Minister of Military Affairs,

Hereby commends Imkiville.

I would like some help with the South Pacific part and help with other parts would be helpful.

See my earlier comments on the Lazarene forums :p

You misspelled "Imkiville" with an 'm' in the further recognizing section.

I support this in theory, should more things be added. Stuff regarding her graphics work, expanding the part on the South Pacific, that sort of stuff.
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Domais
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Postby Domais » Tue May 26, 2020 7:03 am

A Bloodred Moon wrote:I support this in theory, should more things be added. Stuff regarding her graphics work, expanding the part on the South Pacific, that sort of stuff.
"Duly noting that the government of Imkiville has produced several national and regional artworks that belong in a museum," that's for the graphic work.
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Postby Praeceps » Tue May 26, 2020 9:27 am

Domais wrote:The Security Council,

Duly noting that the government of Imkiville has produced several national and regional artworks that belong in a museum,

When I read this, I know that you are referring to their artwork but I keep interpreting it as cards...

Adding that even after Imkiville lost the position of World Assembly Delegate of Lazarus it still made contributions to Lazarus,

 What contributions?

Additionally, I think "lost the position" carries the wrong connotations compared to what happened. From my understanding, Imki willingly left the position. Lost gives me the impression that it was taken from her. Might I suggest perhaps phrasing it as passing on the position?
Further recognizing, Imkiville's contributions to the South Pacific serving as Vice-Delegate, Local Councilor and Minister of Military Affairs,
What were these contributions in these positions?
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Benevolent Thomas
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Postby Benevolent Thomas » Tue May 26, 2020 1:58 pm

There is a lot more to Imki's contributions to TSP than are mentioned here. It was Imki that lead the reinvestment into The South Pacific Special Forces which saw it become the most active independent military organization in NationStates, cultivating influential leaders including Roavin, Nakari and potentially Vietnam (I have no idea what Viet's on-site nation is, sorry).
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Postby Tinhampton » Tue May 26, 2020 2:03 pm

As usual, a bit more elaboration and I'll support. (By the way, it's United States of Vietnam.)
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Postby Daytime to Night » Wed May 27, 2020 2:03 am

Benevolent Thomas wrote:There is a lot more to Imki's contributions to TSP than are mentioned here. It was Imki that lead the reinvestment into The South Pacific Special Forces which saw it become the most active independent military organization in NationStates, cultivating influential leaders including Roavin, Nakari and potentially Vietnam (I have no idea what Viet's on-site nation is, sorry).


This, the South Pacific never had much of a military and certainly wasn't respected as a military force in the game before Imki's involvement and few people have contributed to its eventual success in the way that Imki has.

Roavin and Viet would be the best people to get input from for that section
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Domais
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Postby Domais » Wed May 27, 2020 6:22 am

Should I take this to TSP's WA forums if they have any or are my edits sufficient?
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Bormiar
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Postby Bormiar » Wed May 27, 2020 7:38 am

I think you need to go into more detail on 1) the SPSF leading; 2) the coup of Laz (previous regime?); and 3) artwork (there’s gotta be more than that).

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Postby Drop Your Pants » Wed May 27, 2020 8:06 am

Applauding that Imkiville allowed natives that were previously banished to return to Lazarus, while simultaneously allowing those supportive of the previous government to remain;

Except me :P
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Wed May 27, 2020 9:02 am

It’s a good draft so far, but I do think it needs fleshing out a bit more.
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Postby Ostrovskiy » Mon Jun 01, 2020 7:50 am

It is good, but you need editing
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Dominioan
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Postby Dominioan » Mon Jun 01, 2020 7:52 am

I always love commendations for graphic design! But this one needs a bit more work.
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Domais
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Postby Domais » Mon Jun 01, 2020 10:24 am

Thanks guys, I think I'll take this to TSP's forums.
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