[PASSED] Commend the Holy Principality of Saint Mark

[The Unified Missourtama States]

Recognizing The Holy Principality of Saint Mark as a leader in many aspects of NationStates,

Realizing Saint Mark has influenced many other Nations by serving as a leader in the major region, The West Pacific:
-Serving as Delegate of The West Pacific, and during their time as delegate, introduced the new theme, amended the Manners of Governance of the West, negotiated the treaty of Fuhuo, the accord with NationStates Today, and the Rose Dragon treaty, was the driving force behind the Détente between The South Pacific and the West, worked diligently behind the scenes to encourage internal reforms in The Pacific, while helping the regions involved to reach accord, and by responding to events both internal and external in a thoughtful, reasoned way, sought to bolster TWP’s reputation as a serious, fair, active region,
-Serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of The West Pacific, and during their time as minister negotiating the Chol Covenant between The West Pacific and Lazarus,
-Serving as the first Speaker of The Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, and during their time as Speaker wrote The Etiquette of The Hall of Nations, it’s operating procedures.
-Serving as a Guardian of the West

Also remembering Saint Mark’s Service as a Regional Officer in:
-Osiris, as the longest serving Priest of Osiris, and one who helped craft its judicial accords,
-Albion, by creating its religion and contributing heavily to the culture within the region,
-The Sasquatch Republic, as a founding member
-Karma, as a founding member and Sage,

Observing Saint Mark’s recognition by NationStates Today as one of the 20 most influential nations and their service on the Top20 board,

Appreciating the establishment of the POP Accord by the Holy Principality of Saint Mark, which created a fun and safe environment for all,

Seeking to commemorate the Influence and goodwill of the Holy Principality of Saint Mark,

Hereby commends the Holy Principality of Saint Mark.

Authored and researched by Teralyon and The Unified Missourtama States.

Recognizing The Holy Principality of Saint Mark (also referenced in this commendation as 'Saint Mark') as a leader in many aspects of the world,

Realizing Saint Mark has influenced many other Nations by serving as a leader in the major region, The West Pacific:

1. Serving as Delegate of The West Pacific, and during their time as Delegate,
   1. Introduced the new imperial culture,
   2. Amended the Manners of Governance of the West,
   3. Negotiated the treaty of Fuhuo with Lazarus,
   4. Their sponsorship of NationStates Today and their assistance in forming the News Partnership Framework which established the governance and goals of the NSToday organization,
   5. Was the driving force behind the Détente between The South Pacific and the West,
   6. Worked diligently behind the scenes to encourage internal reforms in The Pacific, while helping the regions involved to reach accord and,
   7. By responding to events both internal and external in a thoughtful, reasoned way, sought to bolster The West Pacific’s reputation as a serious, fair, active region,
2. Serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of The West Pacific, and during their time as Minister negotiating the Chol Covenant between The West Pacific and Lazarus, and writing the original Guide for Diplomatic Interactions, outlining the duties and expected behavior of diplomats,
3. Serving as the first Speaker of The Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, and during their time as Speaker wrote The Etiquette of The Hall of Nations, its operating procedures,
4. Serving as a Guardian of the West, protecting the region from raiders,

Also remembering Saint Mark’s Service as a Regional Officer in:

• Osiris, as the longest serving Priest of Osiris, presiding as a judge over judiciary cases and one who helped craft its judicial accords, to establish the court system,
• Albion, by creating its religion and contributing heavily to the culture within the region as the Archbishop of the Church of Jormunr, and as an adviser to the King,
• The Sasquatch Republic, as a founding member and the Dean of the Cathedral of Saint Agatha the Squatcher, protecting and culturing the region,
• Karma, as a founding member and Sage, protecting and guiding new nations in the region,
• The East Pacific, as an arbiter in the judicial system,

Observing Saint Mark’s recognition by NationStates Today as one of the 20 most influential nations and their service on the Top20 board, helping recognize other nations,

Appreciating the establishment of the POP Accord by the Holy Principality of Saint Mark, which created a safe environment for all, striving to prevent accidental damages and purposeful manipulations to vulnerable nations,

Seeking to commemorate the contributions and goodwill of the Holy Principality of Saint Mark,

Hereby commends the Holy Principality of Saint Mark.

Co-authored by Teralyon.

Recognizing The Holy Principality of Saint Mark (also referenced in this commendation as 'Saint Mark') as a leader in many aspects of the world,

Remembering Saint Mark’s Service as a Regional Officer in:

1. Osiris, as the longest serving Priest of Osiris, presiding as a judge over judiciary cases and one who helped craft its judicial accords, to establish the court system,
2. Albion, by creating its religion, including its sacred texts, holidays, clergy and ceremonies , and contributing heavily to the culture within the region as the Archbishop of the Church of Jormunr, and as an adviser to the King,
3. The Sasquatch Republic, as a founding member and the Dean of the Cathedral of Saint Agatha the Squatcher, helping to create the Sasquatch culture of the region,
4. Karma, as a founding member and Sage, protecting and guiding new nations in the region,
5. The East Pacific, as an Arbiter in the judicial system,

Also realizing Saint Mark has influenced many other Nations by serving as a leader in the major region, The West Pacific:

1. Serving as Delegate of The West Pacific, and during their time as Delegate,
   1. Introducing the new Imperial culture,
   2. Amending the Manners of Governance of the West,
   3. Negotiating the treaty of Fuhuo with Lazarus,
   4. Being the driving force behind the Détente between The South Pacific and the West,
   5. Working diligently behind the scenes to encourage internal reforms in The Pacific, while helping some of the regions involved in the conflict to reach accord and,
   6. By responding to events both internal and external in a thoughtful, reasoned way, sought to bolster The West Pacific’s reputation as a serious, fair, active region,
2. Serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of The West Pacific, and during their time as Minister negotiating the Chol Covenant between The West Pacific and Lazarus, and writing the original Guide for Diplomatic Interactions, outlining the duties and expected behavior of diplomats,
3. Serving as the first Speaker of The Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, and during their time as Speaker wrote The Etiquette of The Hall of Nations, its operating procedures,
4. Serving as a Guardian of the West, protecting the region from raiders,

Observing Saint Mark’s contributions to NationStates Today and their assistance in forming the News Partnership Framework which established the governance and goals of the NSToday organization which now stands as the World’s largest news organization, and their service on the Top20 board, helping recognize other nations,

Appreciating how Saint Mark spearheaded the POP Accord, Signed by 17 nations and organizations, which created a safe environment for all, striving to prevent sexual endangerment of children,

Seeking to commemorate the contributions and goodwill of the Holy Principality of Saint Mark,

Hereby commends the Holy Principality of Saint Mark.

Co-authored by Teralyon.

Submitted Text:

Recognizing The Holy Principality of Saint Mark (also referenced in this commendation as 'Saint Mark') as a leader in many aspects of the world,

Remembering Saint Mark’s Service as a Regional Officer in:

1. Osiris, as the longest serving Priest of Osiris, presiding as a judge over judiciary cases and one who helped craft its judicial accords, to establish the court system,
2. Albion, by creating its religion, including its sacred texts, holidays, clergy and ceremonies , and contributing heavily to the culture within the region as the Archbishop of the Church of Jormunr, and as an adviser to the King,
3. The Sasquatch Republic, as a founding member and the Dean of the Cathedral of Saint Agatha the Squatcher, helping to create the Sasquatch culture of the region,
4. Karma, as a founding member and Sage, protecting and guiding new nations in the region,
5. The East Pacific, as an Arbiter in the judicial system,

Also realizing Saint Mark has influenced many other Nations by serving as a leader in the feeder region, The West Pacific:

1. Serving as Delegate of The West Pacific, and during their time as Delegate,
   1. Introducing the new Imperial culture,
   2. Amending the Manners of Governance of the West,
   3. Negotiating the treaty of Fuhuo with Lazarus,
   4. Being the driving force behind the Détente between The South Pacific and the West,
   5. Working diligently behind the scenes to encourage internal reforms in The Pacific, while helping some of the regions involved in the conflict to reach accord and,
   6. By responding to events both internal and external in a thoughtful, reasoned way, sought to bolster The West Pacific’s reputation as a serious, fair, active region,
2. Serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of The West Pacific, and during their time as Minister negotiating the Chol Covenant between The West Pacific and Lazarus, and writing the original Guide for Diplomatic Interactions, outlining the duties and expected behavior of diplomats,
3. Serving as the first Speaker of The Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, and during their time as Speaker wrote The Etiquette of The Hall of Nations, its operating procedures,
4. Serving as a Guardian of the West, protecting the region from coups,

Observing Saint Mark’s contributions to NationStates Today and their assistance in forming the News Partnership Framework which established the governance and goals of the NSToday organization which now stands as the World’s largest news organization,

Appreciating how Saint Mark spearheaded the POP Accord, which created a safe environment for all, striving to prevent sexual endangerment of children, Signed and agreed upon by The East Pacific, South Pacific, The West Pacific, Lazarus, Balder, Osiris, Lands End, Pacifica, Ragerian Imperium, Krillin, and The Sasquatch Republic,

Seeking to commemorate the contributions and goodwill of the Holy Principality of Saint Mark,

Hereby commends the Holy Principality of Saint Mark.

Co-authored by Teralyon.

thank you for your support and feedback and approvals!

[Tinhampton]

Please clarify at some stage that The Holy Principality of Saint Mark is also known as simply "Saint Mark." Also, list tags exist. Also, what "new theme" and what is the "POP Accord?"

[The Unified Missourtama States]

Please clarify at some stage that The Holy Principality of Saint Mark is also known as simply "Saint Mark." Also, list tags exist. Also, what "new theme" and what is the "POP Accord?"

Thank you for your feedback!
Saint Mark enacted the Imperial China theme of the West Pacific.
POP is an abbreviation for ‘Protect our Players’ so to follow SC rules we must abbreviate it to put in the proposal.

[Praeceps]

I think the nominee can have a good argument be made for them being commended. I'm not quite convinced yet but I think there are a number of ways the proposal can be improved to get me into that For side.

Realizing Saint Mark has influenced many other Nations by serving as a leader in the major region, The West Pacific:
-Serving as Delegate of The West Pacific, and during their time as delegate, introduced the new theme, amended the Manners of Governance of the West, negotiated the treaty of Fuhuo, the accord with NationStates Today, and the Rose Dragon treaty, was the driving force behind the Détente between The South Pacific and the West, worked diligently behind the scenes to encourage internal reforms in The Pacific, while helping the regions involved to reach accord, and by responding to events both internal and external in a thoughtful, reasoned way, sought to bolster TWP’s reputation as a serious, fair, active region,

This is difficult to read and should be a list. I would separate from what Halo did in TWP into two sections, what Halo did as Delegate and what Halo did in his other positions in TWP. It is confusing to read the parts about treaties, is the treaty of Fuhuo with NSToday and the Rose Dragon treaty with TSP? What were the contents of these treaties?

-Serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of The West Pacific, and during their time as minister negotiating the Chol Covenant between The West Pacific and Lazarus,

Minister should be capitalized. What does the Chol Covenant do? Is it a NAP? Alliance?

-Serving as a Guardian of the West

What did Halo contribute through serving as a Guardian?

-Osiris, as the longest serving Priest of Osiris, and one who helped craft its judicial accords,

What are the judicial accords? The laws for governing Osiris's court? Or Osiris's laws?

-Albion, by creating its religion and contributing heavily to the culture within the region,

How did Halo contribute to Albion's culture? Was it just the religion or did he do more?

-The Sasquatch Republic, as a founding member
-Karma, as a founding member and Sage,

What did Halo do as a founding member of these two regions? And what does a Sage do? The position does not describe the roles as innately as Delegate, and Minister of Foreign Affairs, etc. do.

Observing Saint Mark’s recognition by NationStates Today as one of the 20 most influential nations and their service on the Top20 board,

Being influential doesn't equal being commendable.

Appreciating the establishment of the POP Accord by the Holy Principality of Saint Mark, which created a fun and safe environment for all,

This gives off the wrong impression of the POP Accord; it sounds like something light-hearted and fun which I don't think is best used here.

Hopefully that helps to improve your draft.

[The Unified Missourtama States]

Hey all, thank you for the feedback on the first draft of this proposal, we got a lot of great feedback from here, on the forums, and elsewhere and came together with a much better draft, after the feedback on the draft below we will do final edits and submit the proposal to the Security Council.

Recognizing The Holy Principality of Saint Mark (also referenced in this commendation as 'Saint Mark') as a leader in many aspects of the world,

Realizing Saint Mark has influenced many other Nations by serving as a leader in the major region, The West Pacific:

1. Serving as Delegate of The West Pacific, and during their time as Delegate,
   1. Introduced the new imperial culture,
   2. Amended the Manners of Governance of the West,
   3. Negotiated the treaty of Fuhuo with Lazarus,
   4. Their sponsorship of NationStates Today and their assistance in forming the News Partnership Framework which established the governance and goals of the NSToday organization,
   5. Was the driving force behind the Détente between The South Pacific and the West,
   6. Worked diligently behind the scenes to encourage internal reforms in The Pacific, while helping the regions involved to reach accord and,
   7. By responding to events both internal and external in a thoughtful, reasoned way, sought to bolster The West Pacific’s reputation as a serious, fair, active region,
2. Serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of The West Pacific, and during their time as Minister negotiating the Chol Covenant between The West Pacific and Lazarus, and writing the original Guide for Diplomatic Interactions, outlining the duties and expected behavior of diplomats,
3. Serving as the first Speaker of The Hall of Nations of The West Pacific, and during their time as Speaker wrote The Etiquette of The Hall of Nations, its operating procedures,
4. Serving as a Guardian of the West, protecting the region from raiders,

Also remembering Saint Mark’s Service as a Regional Officer in:

• Osiris, as the longest serving Priest of Osiris, presiding as a judge over judiciary cases and one who helped craft its judicial accords,
• Albion, by creating its religion and contributing heavily to the culture within the region as the Archbishop of the Church of Jormunr, and as an adviser to the King,
• The Sasquatch Republic, as a founding member and the Dean of the Cathedral of Saint Agatha the Squatcher, protecting and culturing the region,
• Karma, as a founding member and Sage, protecting and guiding new nations in the region,
• The East Pacific, as an arbiter in the judicial system,

Observing Saint Mark’s recognition by NationStates Today as one of the 20 most influential nations and their service on the Top20 board, helping recognize other nations,

Appreciating the establishment of the POP Accord by the Holy Principality of Saint Mark, which created a safe environment for all, striving to prevent accidental damages and purposeful manipulations to vulnerable nations,

Seeking to commemorate the contributions and goodwill of the Holy Principality of Saint Mark,

Hereby commends the Holy Principality of Saint Mark.

Authored and researched by Teralyon and The Unified Missourtama States.

thank you for your support and feedback!

[Ransium]

One thread per proposal please. Just edit OP with your second draft. If you want you can save the previous drafts in a spoiler. I’ve merged your two threads.

Also, while it’s okay to acknowledge co-authors, that last sentence seems like an R4d violation to me.

[Gorundu]

I was going to go through the clauses one by one but I realised my feedback could be summarised as: "Why is that a good thing?" Take as an example:

Their sponsorship of NationStates Today and their assistance in forming the News Partnership Framework which established the governance and goals of the NSToday organization

Why is sponsoring NSToday a good thing? Why is NSToday a good thing? People who aren't familiar with NSToday wouldn't know that.

I also found "contributing to the culture" to be a recurring theme in your proposal. Unfortunately, I don't think that's specific enough.

Lastly, you should rethink the clauses on Power20 and the POP treaty. IMO neither of those should be listed in a commendation and abbreviating POP really defeats the purpose of putting it in there. Best just to leave it out rather than trying to circumvent the rules.

And a grammar thing: In your clause I, the flow into subclauses iv and vii is grammatically incorrect and incoherent.

[Yokiria]

As much as I love Halo, none of his accomplishments even come close to the SC's standard for a Commendation. No support here.

[Cormactopia Prime]

As much as I love Halo, none of his accomplishments even come close to the SC's standard for a Commendation. No support here.

This. Sorry, Halo, but apparently our standards for commendation have gotten exceptionally high lately.

[Praeceps]

Seconding Gorundu's comments. Especially about NSToday.

There are definite improvements from the previous draft to this one, however, more detail could be given (especially on culture which can be ill-defined).

Lastly, I won't recommend proposing this after the next round of edits. Slow and steady wins the race. Looking forward to seeing the next draft.

EDIT: Also, I'm prefer more consistent formatting with the lists. My personal preference would just be to use bullet points.

[Bormiar]

Especially about NSToday..

Is it spam to third a comment?

I believe "sponsoring NStoday" means that Halo allowed the content of whatever newspaper TWP has to be used in NStoday, and has it so that TWP's newspaper is branded by NSToday, to no real benefit to TWP, other than a vague promise to "promote TWP's newspaper"-- the newspaper of feeder needing no promotion. Completely speaking as a player, it makes me extremely confused that any newspaper would accept the agreement NSToday proposes.

If "News Partnership Program" and "sponsoring NSToday" means that, this clause supports incompetency.

[Nrevyw]

Is it spam to third a comment?

I believe "sponsoring NStoday" means that Halo allowed the content of whatever newspaper TWP has to be used in NStoday, and has it so that TWP's newspaper is branded by NSToday, to no real benefit to TWP, other than a vague promise to "promote TWP's newspaper"-- the newspaper of feeder needing no promotion. Completely speaking as a player, it makes me extremely confused that any newspaper would accept the agreement NSToday proposes.

If "News Partnership Program" and "sponsoring NSToday" means that, this clause supports incompetency.

I believe "sponsoring NSToday" in this context actually means that Saint Mark lent credence to NSToday as a news organization, similar to an endorsement. At the time, NSToday wasn't the monolithic, accepted news source that it is today. As I remember it, there was a lot of doubt that an organization could produce news without bias on issues throughout NS as a whole.

[Tinhampton]

Now at vote after garnering about 105 approvals. Opposed for the reasons listed by Bormiar and co above; extremely surprised to see this passing with 80% FOR so far.

[Jakubonia]

As a country void of spirituality and religious beliefs, we believe that commending a nation whose sole purpose is to spread the Christian faith would be a foolish choice as we seek to accelerate scientific marvels, seeing religion as a mere barrier to our goals. Therefore, the Constitutional Monarchy of Jakubonia, and its peoples, have voted against this proposal and wish to not commend this nation. Such act could be harmful in the manner of spreading untruths and disrupting the inevitable development of technology and the like.

[Gorundu]

The North Pacific Ministry of World Assembly has issued a recommendation AGAINST this proposal.

[Democratic Manceff]

I believe that this resolution offends the culture of my nation and many others, so I am voting against it.

To the moderators, I suggest that they check for fraud in the votes of this resolution.

[Druing]

literally who

[Wess Syna]

So, I haven't had any experience with the Holy Principality of Saint Mark. From the document, it sounds like that the nation is a good one, but we should at least list some bad qualities is has so people could decide for themselves. The only real quality that we get from the document, would be its religious implications upon the world at large, as well as, its impact on culture. I'm not saying that I will not vote for them, but we need to improve the quality standards of our documents so that it includes the bad things that some people have done, and the facts behind their consideration for the title we're anointing them with.

[Yokiria]

Pretty sure this is passing based on Halo's popularity rather than the proposal's actual merits. I wouldn't have a problem with that if Halo had done enough to Commend him for. I don't believe he has, honestly. Against.

[Ammadon]

I believe that this resolution offends the culture of my nation and many others, so I am voting against it.

To the moderators, I suggest that they check for fraud in the votes of this resolution.

Many nations have different goals and beliefs, I think it’s unfair to commend one for promoting one way to lead.

[Lord Dominator]

Some sections may not be the most well written, but large this proposal is still far above the general (and my own) bar on writing quality, so Support.

[Mylo-Xylo]

Simply put, this is a foolish notion put forth but religion loving extremists. We are an atheist nation dead set on the advancement of our nation and will never occupy our time with false worship. Like all Christians, one of Halo's main goals is the clear spread of Christianity. Mylo-Xylo does not and will never support any religious nation.

Mylo-Xylo is strongly against this

~A O-il, Marshal to the Jingoistic States of Mylo-Xylo

[South Odessia]

Tyrants... Tyrants.

[Crisisville]

Tyrants... Tyrants.

Your "country" disgusts me! I hope you fall to the world revolution and become nothing but a footnote in history! You are a plague on the World Assembly and I hope your nation falls slowly and painfully!

[Tinhampton]

Commend The Holy Principality of Saint Mark was passed 16,164 votes to 6,701.