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[Draft] Condemn Munkcestrian Republic

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Communist Crimean Republic
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[Draft] Condemn Munkcestrian Republic

Postby Communist Crimean Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:54 am

Category: Condemnation

Nominee: Munkcestrian Republic

Proposed by: Nuclear Wastelands

Esteemed Security Council,

Noticing the Munkcestrian Republic as a World Assembly Member State, inclined to follow the resolutions passed by this august Assembly,

Shocked at the Munkcestrian Republic's Abhorrent disregard of General Assembly Resolution #23 - Ban on Slavery and Trafficking. The Following should be noted as the Munkcestrian's violations of GAR#23:

1. The Munkcestrian Republic has set up an alliance of Pro-Slavery Nations, in which member nations of said alliance protect slavers within their nations,

2. Refusing to punish slavers for breaking international law in which the Munkcestrian Republic is to follow as a World Assembly Member-State,

3. Continuing the practice of Chattel slavery, of which has been banned by GAR#23,

Further Noting that the Munkcestrian Republic also holds immoral pro-slavery laws and ideals not defined by GAR#23, the following which are listed:

1. Promoting violence against Anti-Slavery Groups,

2. Promoting the spread of Slavery into anti-slavery nations,

3. Threatening nations that wish to stop the spread of Munkcestrian slavery in their territory.

Wishing to use the condemnation of the Munkcestrian Republic to slow the spread of slavery among WA Member States,

Hereby Condemns the Munkcestrian Republic.

(OOC: I have decided to submit the final draft (when that time comes) from my main, which I will switch my WA status over to)

Category: Condemnation

Nominee: Munkcestrian Republic

Proposed by: Communist Crimean Republic

Esteemed Security Council,

Shocked at the Munkcestrian Republic's promotion of Chattel Slavery,

Noting that the Munkcestrian Republic has formed an alliance of pro-slavers, promoting chattel slavery,

Further Noting that the Munkcestrian Republic has gone against laws against slavery put in place by this Esteemed World Assembly,

Hereby Condemns the Munkcestrian Republic.

(OOC: Yes, I understand this needs more meat to it. Will definitely do that when I am not so busy, I just wanted to throw a draft of a condemnation of such a nation out for the public to see)
Last edited by Communist Crimean Republic on Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Praeceps
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Postby Praeceps » Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:57 am

I would typically suggest adding a lot more meat (so to speak) to your draft prior to presenting it publicly.

I can predict what the responses below will most likely be: "Who?", "Not condemnable", "Needs more substance", etc. The feedback you will get will not be that valuable as it would be if you worked on it longer before presenting.
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Newark Aristocracy
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Postby Newark Aristocracy » Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:58 am

Finally, something I can care about.

(Notes:I'm at war with Munckchester rn,and I'm a anti slaver.) Bet ya my post declaring war on him in his slaver allience thread caught your attention.
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Communist Crimean Republic
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Postby Communist Crimean Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:02 pm

Alright, I found the relevant resolution(s) and am now adding beef to the proposal. Draft 2 coming up.

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Newark Aristocracy
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Postby Newark Aristocracy » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:05 pm

*hands proposal writer 9000 over*
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Communist Crimean Republic
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Postby Communist Crimean Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:24 pm

OOC: Draft 2 is up - Any comments, criticism, and Advice is greatly appreciated.

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Eumaeus
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Postby Eumaeus » Sat Aug 31, 2019 12:57 pm

Communist Crimean Republic wrote:Category: Condemnation

Nominee: Munkcestrian Republic

Proposed by: Nuclear Wastelands

Esteemed Security Council,

Noticing the Munkcestrian Republic as a World Assembly member state, inclined to follow the resolutions passed by this august Assembly,

Shocked at the Munkcestrian Republic's abhorrent disregard of General Assembly Resolution #23 - Ban on Slavery and Trafficking. The Following should be noted as the Munkcestrian's violations of GAR#23:

There is some unnecessary capitalization in these clauses. "Member State" is not a recognized title for WA nations, but "World Assembly member" is, so I would consider changing that up.

Regarding the underlined section I am not one hundred percent sure if you are just shortening the target's name or trying to say the equivalent of "the Americans' violations. If it is the former I would just write out the full name, if it is the latter it should be "the Munkcestrians' violations".
1. The Munkcestrian Republic has set up an alliance of Pro-Slavery Nations, in which member nations of said alliance protect slavers within their nations,

The details of this alliance should be expanded. Does it have a name? How many nations are part of it? Etc.
2. Refusing to punish slavers for breaking international law, in which the Munkcestrian Republic has agreed to follow as a World Assembly member state,

You need to decide between "member state" and "member-state".
3. Continuing the practice of Chattel slavery, of which has been banned by GAR#23,

The ordering of this list is a bit off. I would introduce them in order of severity from least to most, which imo is 3, 2, 1. Although, I'm not sure what the difference between points 2 and 3 are. Allowing slavery and not punishing slavers seem like the same thing.
Further Noting that the Munkcestrian Republic also holds immoral pro-slavery laws and ideals not defined by GAR#23, including:

1. Promoting violence against Anti-Slavery Groups,

2. Promoting the spread of slavery into anti-slavery nations,

3. Threatening nations that wish to stop the spread of Munkcestrian slavery in their territory,

Unnecessary capitalization, and an inconsistent punctuation mark.
Wishing to use the condemnation of the Munkcestrian Republic to slow the spread of slavery among WA Member States,

Hereby Condemns the Munkcestrian Republic.

Overall, I have no objections to Condemning nations based on In Context actions, but they should at least be interesting In Context actions.I would advise that you take a deeper delve into into this nation's IC history, however I can tell from a glance that they are not nearly accomplished enough to merit Condemnation.

The proposal, while clearly being rushed, is actually fairly well written, but it is working with basically nothing and it shows.
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Munkcestrian Republic
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Postby Munkcestrian Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:00 pm

Full support! 8)

We've got a load more stuff you should condemn us for, though. See my old nation, Munkchester.
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Munkcestrian Republic
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Postby Munkcestrian Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:02 pm

Eumaeus wrote:Overall, I have no objections to Condemning nations based on In Context actions, but they should at least be interesting In Context actions.I would advise that you take a deeper delve into into this nation's IC history, however I can tell from a glance that they are not nearly accomplished enough to merit Condemnation.

The proposal, while clearly being rushed, is actually fairly well written, but it is working with basically nothing and it shows.

:( I'm, like, N&IR's most notorious up-and-coming slaver
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Imperial Fascist States
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Postby Imperial Fascist States » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:07 pm

Finally a WA proposal I can get behind
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Munkcestrian Republic
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Postby Munkcestrian Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:09 pm

Imperial Fascist States wrote:Finally a WA proposal I can get behind

Why?
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Imperial Fascist States
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Postby Imperial Fascist States » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:10 pm

Munkcestrian Republic wrote:
Imperial Fascist States wrote:Finally a WA proposal I can get behind

Why?

Because I'm anti-slavery and have a particular dislike for you
I don't use NS stats and neither should you.

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Imperial Fascist States
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Postby Imperial Fascist States » Sat Aug 31, 2019 1:12 pm

Eternal Lotharia wrote:
Imperial Fascist States wrote:Because I'm anti-slavery and have a particular dislike for you

Roasted. :lol:

Want to form a alliance to blockade him?


Funny you say that: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=471525
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Bhang Bhang Duc
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Postby Bhang Bhang Duc » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:06 pm

Praeceps wrote:I would typically suggest adding a lot more meat (so to speak) to your draft prior to presenting it publicly.

I can predict what the responses below will most likely be: "Who?", "Not condemnable", "Needs more substance", etc. The feedback you will get will not be that valuable as it would be if you worked on it longer before presenting.

Pretty much this plus the fact that as written it’s illegal - R4(d). By starting “Esteemed Security Council” you are addressing the SC, not writing it from the SC’s perspective.
Last edited by Bhang Bhang Duc on Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Munkcestrian Republic
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Postby Munkcestrian Republic » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:17 pm

Having thought about this a little more, while I would be honoured to accept this condemnation, I think I'll have to do a little more first to truly deserve it. ;)

Support withdrawn (for now).
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Nouveau Quebecois
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Postby Nouveau Quebecois » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:21 pm

"Please expand on Section 2, points 1 through 3, with evidence."
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Kingdom Of The UN
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Postby Kingdom Of The UN » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:24 pm

Newark Aristocracy wrote:Finally, something I can care about.

(Notes:I'm at war with Munckchester rn,and I'm a anti slaver.) Bet ya my post declaring war on him in his slaver allience thread caught your attention.


bruh

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Nouveau Quebecois
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Postby Nouveau Quebecois » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:26 pm

Newark Aristocracy wrote:Finally, something I can care about.

(Notes:I'm at war with Munckchester rn,and I'm a anti slaver.) Bet ya my post declaring war on him in his slaver allience thread caught your attention.

This dude is flexing so hard, someone tell him that being at war with Munkchester isn't exactly a rare or brave feat.
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Kingdom Of The UN
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Postby Kingdom Of The UN » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:26 pm

Munkcestrian Republic wrote:Full support! 8)

We've got a load more stuff you should condemn us for, though. See my old nation, Munkchester.



you want us to look bad or good

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Nouveau Quebecois
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Postby Nouveau Quebecois » Sat Aug 31, 2019 2:29 pm

Eternal Lotharia wrote:
Nouveau Quebecois wrote:This dude is flexing so hard, someone tell him that being at war with Munkchester isn't exactly a rare or brave feat.

It's like a ns newbie rite of passage.

That's a 2018 vet with Chick fil A discounts, he ain't got no excuse.
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Praeceps
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Postby Praeceps » Sat Aug 31, 2019 5:22 pm

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:
Praeceps wrote:I would typically suggest adding a lot more meat (so to speak) to your draft prior to presenting it publicly.

I can predict what the responses below will most likely be: "Who?", "Not condemnable", "Needs more substance", etc. The feedback you will get will not be that valuable as it would be if you worked on it longer before presenting.

Pretty much this plus the fact that as written it’s illegal - R4(d). By starting “Esteemed Security Council” you are addressing the SC, not writing it from the SC’s perspective.

Changes were made between mine and Eumaeus's post. It is definitely improving although it still has quite a ways to go.
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Wayneactia
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Postby Wayneactia » Sun Sep 01, 2019 6:53 pm

No.

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Munkcestrian Republic
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Postby Munkcestrian Republic » Mon Sep 02, 2019 10:27 am

Wayneactia wrote:No.

Why not?
if you like my posts please make sure to downvote my factbooks.
DON'T CLICK
"lmao child you come into MY region"
no, this nation does not represent my
views. i cannot believe i have to clarify this

for RPers
my views explained

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Bruke
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Postby Bruke » Mon Sep 02, 2019 10:43 am

I’d support this iteration of the Condemnation, plus any future ones if this fails.

Seems someone has a hankering for infamy- let us grant it as a sign of our indignation.

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Frisbeeteria
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Postby Frisbeeteria » Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:44 pm

Bruke wrote:Seems someone has a hankering for infamy- let us grant it as a sign of our indignation.

This kind of thinking is why trolls keep coming out to play. When you respond to them and give them attention, they find it gratifying. I'm not saying the target nation is a troll ... and I'm not saying they aren't one ... but I can't let a statement like that stand without responding.

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