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[DRAFT] Condemn United Massachusetts

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Marilyn Manson Freaks
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[DRAFT] Condemn United Massachusetts

Postby Marilyn Manson Freaks » Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:55 pm

The Security Council,

Acknowledging that very few national leaders of this world are completely honest about what goes on within their respective nations,

Believing Cardinal Alexander "Al" Sullivan, the ruler of United Massachusetts, to be a prime example of political disingenuity,

Disgusted that United Massachusetts' leader, Cardinal Al Sullivan, has built up the nation's public image as an innocent and compassionate democracy in a dastardly attempt to solidify the grip of Catholicism upon the hearts and minds of people everywhere,

Recalling some of Cardinal Al Sullivan's various passionate attempts in doing just that, including but not limited to:

  • An international prayer bulletin. Cardinal Al Sullivan oversaw the creation of a prayer bulletin directed toward secular nations known to oppose Catholicism. Nations found to be shirking Catholic teachings are listed in a private dossier and are prayed for by United Massachusetts' citizens in desperate and fanatical attempts to convert said foreign nations.
  • The establishment of the Petition For the Lord's Assistance to Guide Us in Extreme Situations program. PLAGUES is a "defense system" that involves the ten destructive steps of: Airdropping frogs, gnats, and locusts into enemy nations, dumping poisoned cranberry juice into bodies of water to mimic blood, launching golf balls from the sky to mimic hail, spreading tainted feed that is infected with a disease fatal to cattle, creating smog by polluting the country in an attempt to cause boils and darkness, and, as a last resort, supplying tainted formula and candy to the firstborn children of non-Catholics.
  • The export of propaganda leaflets describing the "horrors" of basic reproductive rights into other nations.

Irked that United Massachusetts has practically been allowed to torment nations into submission through the use of impolite and out-of-date practices that are no longer considered acceptable internationally.

Ashamed that United Massachusetts has even been allowed to extend their writhing tentacles to amass influence over the World Assembly, as evinced through the seven WA resolutions their government has authored:

  • GA#417: a resolution in which United Massachusetts sought to place restrictions on the process commonly known as "fracking". Numerous nations have based their entire economies around the unearthing of natural gas. It has also been proven that natural gas-propelled power produces fewer greenhouse gas emissions than coal.
  • GA#419: a resolution in which United Massachusetts allegedly endeavored to ensure that "voter equality" exists throughout the WA. While this legislation appears to be excellent in practice, that is not the case when applied.
  • GA#430: a resolution in which United Massachusetts urges that nations adopt secular policies regarding religion, which is extremely hypocritical considering that United Massachusetts is an openly Catholic nation run by an ordained Cardinal.
  • GA#436: a resolution authored with the purpose of allowing citizens of nations to express themselves respectfully and freely without any consequences. However, the resolution touches on pornography in its last clause and allows nations to possibly curtail rights in the name of "explicit material".
  • GA#437: a resolution geared toward banning conversion therapy, the act or process of attempting to change one's natural sexuality through torture, either psychical or psychological. While this resolution is laudable, it could be expanded upon more to punish organizers of conversion therapy.
  • The repeal of "Crime and Punishment", which they enacted for the sole purpose of protecting the death penalty. Nations should have the right to determine reasonable policy regarding capital punishment.
  • SC#247: "Liberate The East Pacific", which has since been repealed due to the resolution being entirely symbolic.Through their vassal state, The Eastern Fail-igarchy, United Massachusetts mocked the government of The East Pacific despite serving in the regional government at the time. The resolution was a misleading and false tongue-in-cheek attempt at gaining more notoriety for the region.

Infuriated that United Massachusetts has been allowed to leech off the world and the accomplishments of other nations to gain a standing in the WA,

Cognizant that United Massachusetts has even boasted about breaking a law, specifically, GA#286, "Reproductive Freedoms". United Massachusetts has organized a union of over 40 nations opposed to abortion and has refused to allow their citizens reproductive rights,

Shocked that United Massachusetts' government has continued to be a scourge upon the world,

Demanding that something must be done to address the many injustices that United Massachusetts has done to the nations of this world and to this honorable body,

Hereby Condemns United Massachusetts.


So, upon seeing the commendation draft posted on the forum a while back, I decided that I'd try to write up something better. I was a bit displeased that the author didn't read my comment regarding TRR, so I went through with this.

First of all, I spoke with UM about details. He mentioned that he'd definitely prefer a condemnation over a commendation. So I tried my best and got feedback from three others while I was writing it. Special thanks to Cormac and Xor. I know it's a bit of a stretch and needs work, but I'm prepared to do just that. Also, just a note before I get beef with some of y'all :p: The names of certain resolutions aren't mentioned because Xor suggested I remove them because I was pushed over the character limit. Also, the PLAGUES paragraph definitely needs reworded and simplified. I look forward to your criticisms. :P
Last edited by Marilyn Manson Freaks on Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Marxist Germany » Fri Aug 23, 2019 5:16 pm

"Never, never, never! I stand in solidarity with United Massachusetts! Never shall this be allowed to pass!"
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Postby Lord Dominator » Fri Aug 23, 2019 5:59 pm

Categorically opposed.
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Imbalistan
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Postby Imbalistan » Fri Aug 23, 2019 6:00 pm

"Bullsh*t, next!"
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Wayneactia
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Postby Wayneactia » Fri Aug 23, 2019 7:26 pm

Looks good to me

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Fauxia
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Postby Fauxia » Sat Aug 24, 2019 3:27 pm

The Cardinal should be referred to as “Al ‘The Instigator’ Sullivan”
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Postby Imperium Anglorum » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:54 pm

Disgusted that United Massachusetts' leader, Cardinal Al Sullivan, has built up the nation's public image as an innocent and compassionate democracy in a dastardly attempt to solidify the grip of Catholicism upon the hearts and minds of people everywhere,

I don't know, but this clause sounds to me a bit anti-Catholic, in a discriminatory and prejudicial way.

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Postby Praeceps » Tue Sep 10, 2019 8:52 pm

Nations partaking in and promoting non-compliance are unworthy of the Security Council's attention.
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