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[DRAFT] Commend United Massachusetts

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:37 am
by New Jakobly
Security Council;

Recognizing the esteemed members enshrined by this noble institution for their leadership, character, dedication, and much more;

Believing that one such nation that embodies these exceptional characteristics is United Massachusetts;

Acknowledging the controversies that may surround United Massachusetts for their unconventional political ideologies that embody both characteristics of the left and right;

Noting United Massachusetts’ ability to work with both sides of the political spectrum throughout NationStates; all while being a staunch adherent to the personal liberties that many of the left consider rights and holding on to religious liberties that the right can appreciate. This culmination of beliefs makes United Massachusetts a unifying force all can stand behind and appreciate;

Also Noting their authorship in both the General Assembly and Security council that embody these characteristics mentioned, with proposals such as:

GA Resolution #417, "Restrictions On Hydraulic Fracturing", Restricting the practice, which caused harm to water sources

GA Resolution #419 “Voting Equality for Freed Inmates”, giving past prisoners the voting equality they deserve

GA Resolution #430 “Freedom of Religion”, expressing the well-deserved freedom

GA Resolution #436 “Protecting Free Expression”, advancing the right to express

GA Resolution #437 “Ban on Conversion Therapy”, giving the LGBTQ+ community more rights

Further Noting other resolutions United Massachusetts has co-authored in, with proposals such as:

GA Resolution #467 "Affordable Transgender Hormone Therapy", giving transgenders easier access to hormone therapy

SC Resolution #219 “Commend Forest”, recognizing their efforts to the environment

Lauding their leadership of Right to Life as President and WA Delegate, reaching out to the political left, despite the rightist nature of the Right to Life, The East Pacific as part of the WA Ministry (serving as WA minister), and Deputy Culture Minister for The Rejected Realms and the continued impact they have on all of these regions;

Considering the impact, leadership, character, and devotion that United Massachusetts has shown throughout their existence thus far;

Hereby Commends United Massachusetts

Co-Authored by The Rouge Christmas State


Thoughts?

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:07 am
by Sanctaria
I'm not opposed in principle to UM getting a commendation, but this isn't enough, it's way too short. Honestly, focusing it on solely his R2L stuff is also a dead cert for defeat.

He has passed some resolutions, you should talk about how they impact the nations in the WA and why they are A Good Thing. He's also been active in regional government, you should detail some of the stuff he's done for good in places like TEP, Right to Life, and I believe Catholic, but these should be more of along the lines of good governance and general usefulness - as I said, mentioning he promoted a specific ideology, especially a controversial one, will not be helpful.

UM is fairly well know across the GA, SC, and GP worlds, the question is right now if he's done enough to warrant a commendation. This draft is too short, badly focused, and doesn't present a good argument why we should vote in favour. Write up something a bit more comprehensive with more specific commendable things, and then we'll have a better idea of how successful, or not, a commendation would be.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:12 am
by New Jakobly
Sanctaria wrote:I'm not opposed in principle to UM getting a commendation, but this isn't enough, it's way too short. Honestly, focusing it on solely his R2L stuff is also a dead cert for defeat.

He has passed some resolutions, you should talk about how they impact the nations in the WA and why they are A Good Thing. He's also been active in regional government, you should detail some of the stuff he's done for good in places like TEP, Right to Life, and I believe Catholic, but these should be more of along the lines of good governance and general usefulness - as I said, mentioning he promoted a specific ideology, especially a controversial one, will not be helpful.

UM is fairly well know across the GA, SC, and GP worlds, the question is right now if he's done enough to warrant a commendation. This draft is too short, badly focused, and doesn't present a good argument why we should vote in favour. Write up something a bit more comprehensive with more specific commendable things, and then we'll have a better idea of how successful, or not, a commendation would be.

Yes, I understand. More will be added by 6 PM EDT, with the help of The Rouge Christmas State.

Thanks for the ideas as well; I will add them in.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 9:07 am
by Kuriko
Sanct pretty much said everything I would have said, so yeah.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 9:12 am
by Attempted Socialism
New Jakobly wrote:-Promoting the ideologies of Right to Life, with the dispatch "Nations in Non-Compliance with Reproductive Freedoms"[/i]
Explain to me how that is an argument for commendation, and not condemnation? As far as I've seen, there's a better argument to change it to Condemn than to commend in the draft as-is.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 10:21 am
by Ransium
Sanc got it in 1. I would love to see Umass commended and I think it’s probably possible now (maybe Umass needs to do a bit more but it’s close) but this is the worst possible approach. Well I don’t think you need to hide right to life contributions they need to be a small piece of a much bigger tapestry that is everything Umass has done.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 11:56 am
by Marxist Germany
OOC:
Here are some extra additions to the draft you might want to add:
-His reign as WA minister of TEP
-His delegacy of RTL
-9 resolution authorships (3 non submitting Co author in GA, 6 authorships, and 1 SC resolution)

Describe what each of these resolutions has done, be more specific, remove the dispatch about noncompliance, also remove the rambling about regional armies because its condemnable rather than commendable imo, and talk more about his RTL, TEP, (and Catholic iirc) contributions.

This is just a list I made of the back of my head, you can probably find a lot more if you do some more research (definitely needed for any SC resolution). I'd love to see UM commended, and he's borderline commendable if you write the commendation in the right way, support once you have fleshed it out and removed illegalities.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:56 pm
by New Jakobly
The bill draft has been updated.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:33 pm
by The Rouge Christmas State
Perhaps for the Lauding part of the resolution you can include his work with the RR and give some specific roles he has had in those regions, such as, "Lauding their leadership of Right to Life as president and WA Delegate, the East Pacific as part of the WA Ministry, and Deputy Culture Minister for the Rejected Realms and the continued impact they have on all of these regions; "

Also, the second "Noting" for the resolutions should probably be "Further Noting" or some other verb (i.e. "Observing", "Considering", etc.)

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:58 pm
by New Jakobly
Proposal Edited

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:58 pm
by Israeli Empiratic Commonwealth
New Jakobly wrote:Security Council;

Recognizing the esteemed members enshrined by this noble institution for their leadership, character, dedication, and much more;

Believing that one such individual that embodies these exceptional characteristics is United Massachusetts;

Acknowledging the controversies that may surround United Massachusetts for their unconventional political ideologies that embody both characteristics of the left and right;

Noting United Massachusetts’ ability to work with both sides of the political spectrum throughout NationStates; all while being a staunch adherent to the personal liberties that many of the left consider rights and holding on to religious liberties that the right can appreciate. This culmination of beliefs makes United Massachusetts a unifying force all can stand behind and appreciate;

Noting their authorship in both the General Assembly and Security council that embody these characteristics mentioned, with proposals such as:

GA Resolution #419 “Voting Equality for Freed Inmates” (Passed 82% in favor)

GA Resolution #430 “Freedom of Religion” (Passed 76% in favor)

GA Resolution #436 “Protecting Free Expression” (Passed 78% in favor)

GA Resolution #437 “Ban on Conversion Therapy” (Passed 86% in favor)

SC Resolution #219 “Commend Forest” (Passed 74% in favor)

Lauding their leadership of Right to Life and the East Pacific and the impact that they have had in both of those regions;

Considering the impact, leadership, character, and devotion that United Massachusetts has shown throughout their existence thus far;

Herby Commends United Massachusetts

Co-Authored by The Rouge Christmas State


Thoughts?

I support, maybe you could add their participation in countless other resolutions?
United Massachusetts has my full support as they have given me in the past at times.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 3:02 pm
by Aclion
You've actually got quite a bit here, but it reads as a list. Tell us why the resolutions he passed are important, and go into detail about what he accomplished in TEP.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 3:07 pm
by New Jakobly
Updated

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 4:23 pm
by New Jakobly
Me and The RCS have settled on the final update; feel free to give your opinions and comments on the proposal.

UPDATE: The bill has been submitted to the WA.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:05 pm
by Kuriko
New Jakobly wrote:Me and The RCS have settled on the final update; feel free to give your opinions and comments on the proposal.

UPDATE: The bill has been submitted to the WA.

Ummm.... You really should have waited longer than less than 12 hours before submitting it. Like, 4 or 5 days longer >·>

Edit: Ninjad by Ransium on the illegality

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:07 pm
by Ransium
It’s illegal as submitted for “one such individual” (rule 4b), perhaps some other stuff. You’re trying to do this way too fast. You’re a first time author trying to commend a candidate that I think is probably commendable but will take a very cautious and well crafted resolution to do so. You should be thinking about submitting this in weeks not hours. If you submit something that ultimately fails because you didn’t spend enough time drafting it, you’ll make future commends more difficult and ultimately done Umass a disservice.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:13 pm
by Praeceps
Glad to know Herby commends UM but what about the Security Council? :p

Joking aside, as previously stated by Kuriko and Ransium, you are moving way too fast. You have not given anyone even a day to look it over. Resolutions take much more time (especially if it is not a liberation); however, you have given barely any time for feedback to be submitted.

I have comments to make and I am sure others do as well, give us a chance to respond please.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 5:17 pm
by New Jakobly
Ransium wrote:It’s illegal as submitted for “one such individual” (rule 4b), perhaps some other stuff. You’re trying to do this way too fast. You’re a first time author trying to commend a candidate that I think is probably commendable but will take a very cautious and well crafted resolution to do so. You should be thinking about submitting this in weeks not hours. If you submit something that ultimately fails because you didn’t spend enough time drafting it, you’ll make future commends more difficult and ultimately done Umass a disservice.


Ok, I have withdrawn the bill so others can look it over. I apologize, as this was my first proposal, and I was excited to get in submitted.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 2:57 am
by East Meranopirus
First off, UM was WA Minister in TEP, not just some "WA advisor". That part needs more elaboration.

Second, this clause sounds kind of awkward and repetitive to me:
Noting United Massachusetts’ ability to work with both sides of the political spectrum throughout NationStates; all while being a staunch adherent to the personal liberties that many of the left consider rights and holding on to religious liberties that the right can appreciate. This culmination of beliefs makes United Massachusetts a unifying force all can stand behind and appreciate;

If it were me, I wouldn't use the "leftist" and "rightist" labels at all, but rather maybe how he worked with different people.

Third, I would get rid of the passing percentages for all the resolutions. They're unnecessary. Instead, you should elaborate more on what each of them accomplishes.

And lastly, I'm surprised no one has told you yet, but this isn't a great time for commending UM, given the whole GA non-compliance thing with the Reproductive Freedoms resolution.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:43 am
by WayNeacTia
No.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:09 am
by New Jakobly
The proposal has been updated again, expect more details on the resolutions soon.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:04 am
by Fauxia
I suggest you wait a while on this, so as not to maximize opposition by submitting while there is an active draft of Repeal GA #286 being drafted. Plus, it may give UM a chance to add a resolution or two.

Wayneactia wrote:No.

Would you care to elaborate?

PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:10 pm
by Qwabour Harbour
Fauxia wrote:I suggest you wait a while on this, so as not to maximize opposition by submitting while there is an active draft of Repeal GA #286 being drafted. Plus, it may give UM a chance to add a resolution or two.

Wayneactia wrote:No.

Would you care to elaborate?

UM does not comply with WA rules, he should not be awarded officially by the WA as he is violating international law

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2019 4:03 am
by New Jakobly
Qwabour Harbour wrote:UM does not comply with WA rules, he should not be awarded officially by the WA as he is violating international law

wdym

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:00 am
by East Meranopirus
New Jakobly wrote:
Qwabour Harbour wrote:UM does not comply with WA rules, he should not be awarded officially by the WA as he is violating international law

wdym

https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1242427
https://www.nationstates.net/page=dispatch/id=1244840
And here's the first sentence on the WA page (emphasis mine):
"The WA is the world's governing body. Membership is voluntary, but all member nations must abide by legislation it passes."