Condemn Destruction and demise

[Kozkrasov]

I posted my first WA proposal yesterday, and I put a lot of effort into it. Check it out if you can and a signature would be awesome!

[Borovan entered the region as he]

"Okay! Great! Where is the proposal?"

[Ransium]

The proposal is here.

Text:

The Security Council;

Asking for the condemnation of Destruction and demise.

Acknowledging the terrible deeds this nations has committed.

Disgusted by the way this country treats its citizens.

Pleading for action to be taken.

Misdeeds of the nation of Destruction and demise
- The naming of the capital as NOHOMO
- The abhorrent laws put in place and the evil punishments forced on criminals
- The extremely corrupt nature of the nation's dictator
- Many other concerning issues in violation of basic human rights

Hoping that this proposal will be read and acknowledged, and that immediate action be taken against this nation.

Hereby condemns Destruction and demise

If you actually want a proposal to get to vote you're going to have to run a TG campaign. I wouldn't recommend that here, as past experience suggests this one is very unlikely to make it to vote/pass. I'm sure other players will tell you in a much less pleasant manner why in more detail soon. If you really want to write a proposal this would be a good place to look for targets you might get support for. In addition, you might want to look over some past threads and passed proposals to get an idea for proper procedure and standards.

[Ransium]

The proposal is here.

Text:

The Security Council;

Asking for the condemnation of Destruction and demise.

Acknowledging the terrible deeds this nations has committed.

Disgusted by the way this country treats its citizens.

Pleading for action to be taken.

Misdeeds of the nation of Destruction and demise
- The naming of the capital as NOHOMO
- The abhorrent laws put in place and the evil punishments forced on criminals
- The extremely corrupt nature of the nation's dictator
- Many other concerning issues in violation of basic human rights

Hoping that this proposal will be read and acknowledged, and that immediate action be taken against this nation.

Hereby condemns Destruction and demise

If you actually want a proposal to get to vote you're going to have to run a TG campaign. I wouldn't recommend that here, as past experience suggests this one is very unlikely to make it to vote/pass. I'm sure other players will tell you in a much less pleasant manner why in more detail soon. If you really want to write a proposal this would be a good place to look for targets you might get support for. In addition, you might want to look over some past threads and passed proposals to get an idea for proper procedure and standards.

[Praeceps]

Welcome to the Security Council! I'll try to offer my thoughts on this proposal and why it won't pass (much less make quorum) as pleasantly as I can.

In the future, I suggest drafting resolutions here, in this forum prior to submitting legislation. Any mistakes in your proposal will be amplified as nations will see that you did not offer an opportunity for others to offer feedback for the proposal to be improved.

Do know that any criticism here is only of the proposal, not of you personally. In the future, if you submit a future draft I won't hold anything against you.

Text: The Security Council;

Asking for the condemnation of Destruction and demise.

The word "asking" is rather out of place here. You may be asking the Security Council to condemn the nominee, however, the Security Council isn't asking for the condemnation, the Security Council is (or would be) condemning the nominee. (I'm not sure, but this may be a R4d violation).

Acknowledging the terrible deeds this nations has committed.

What are these terrible deeds that the nation has committed? You need to offer support for your statements.

Disgusted by the way this country treats its citizens.

How does the country treats its citizens? You should elaborate on this point. If the Security Council is going to say it is disgusted by something, what is it disgusted by?

Pleading for action to be taken.

What action should be taken, and by who? The Security Council is only able to liberate regions (and repeal liberations). If you are encouraging other actions to be taken, you should specify it. However, do keep it realistic in recommending action to be taken—eg. nations can't literally destroy other nations on NationStates, as such, asking for nations to do so wouldn't be realistic.

Misdeeds of the nation of Destruction and demise
- The naming of the capital as NOHOMO
- The abhorrent laws put in place and the evil punishments forced on criminals
- The extremely corrupt nature of the nation's dictator
- Many other concerning issues in violation of basic human rights

I'd like a lot more explanation again here, from what are the "abhorrent laws" to the "evil punishments" to the "extremely corrupt nature of the nation's dictator", all of this can be fleshed out more. You aren't anywhere near the character limit so don't be afraid to write more.

Hoping that this proposal will be read and acknowledged, and that immediate action be taken against this nation.

Again, this clause is phrased rather poorly. If this resolution is at vote, I assure you, it is being read. As for acknowledgement, if the resolution is to pass, then the proposal is acknowledged. Again, there is no specification of what action should be taken against the nominee.

Hereby condemns Destruction and demise

This proposal mainly needs a lot more support as to why a condemnation is necessary. For an individual new to the Security Council, the format is pretty well done.

However, I don't believe this nation to be particularly worthy of condemnation. You'll need to make a really good argument to persuade me. I'm not seeing that here.

I do hope you stick around and either redraft this proposal or as Ransium suggests, write a proposal on another nation or region. Feel free to message me with any questions!

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Although both Ransium and Jakker have marked this attempt legal, I keep wondering about this line:

the naming of the capital as NOHOMO

If the author finds this offensive or objectionable then it should be reported to Moderation as a customisable field violation, not used in a Condemnation. Rule 2(c) or is this a stretch?

[Ransium]

Although both Ransium and Jakker have marked this attempt legal, I keep wondering about this line:

the naming of the capital as NOHOMO

If the author finds this offensive or objectionable then it should be reported to Moderation as a customisable field violation, not used in a Condemnation. Rule 2(c) or is this a stretch?

I certainly considered the question, but I wouldn’t remove that particular custom field (I wouldn’t be shocked if my colleges might though) so I felt complaining about it in Condemn was fine.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

I certainly considered the question, but I wouldn’t remove that particular custom field (I wouldn’t be shocked if my colleges might though) so I felt complaining about it in Condemn was fine.

Thanks for the response Ransium - thought the question needed asking.

[The New California Republic]

I posted my first WA proposal yesterday, and I put a lot of effort into it. Check it out if you can and a signature would be awesome!

OOC: So you have added something to the queue without drafting it here first? Against just on principle.

[The New California Republic]

The proposal is here.

Um, Ransium, that link goes to the Guide to the Gameplay forum thread...

[Kuriko]

The proposal is here.

Um, Ransium, that link goes to the Guide to the Gameplay forum thread...

I pointed that out to him on discord

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Praeceps has done a pretty good analysis of your proposal, pointing out the many and various faults with it.

You should take these points on board and put together a Condemnation that shows why the nominee deserves it. At the moment they do not stand out as being a worthy recipient.

[Corgislakia]

However bad this "Destruction and demise" is, I don't think it measures up to the pure evil that is Corgislakia. In fact, I changed my name to Corgislakia to raise awareness! We need to condemn Corgislakia before its heinous policies spread to other regions!

[Ransium]

However bad this "Destruction and demise" is, I don't think it measures up to the pure evil that is Corgislakia. In fact, I changed my name to Corgislakia to raise awareness! We need to condemn Corgislakia before its heinous policies spread to other regions!

Don’t advertise your proposal in someone else’s thread. You get one thread per proposal. Tone down the spaminess.