[ABANDONED] Condemn Vooperia

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Already ruled as illegal for the use of “themselves”.

Nothing remotely condemnable here. If you want to see the scale of infamy required to earn a Condemnation, then I suggest you read the recently passed “Condemn Darkesia”. To use an English football analogy Darkesia is Premier Division - Vooperia is not even League Division 2.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Two things - firstly please keep your updated drafts in the opening post (edit and spoiler) rather than new posts every time you update it. Allows others to go straight to the latest version instead of searching through the thread.

Secondly, no it’s not better. Your little regional squabble is not worthy of a Condemnation.

[Wunderlightia]

Two things - firstly please keep your updated drafts in the opening post (edit and spoiler) rather than new posts every time you update it. Allows others to go straight to the latest version instead of searching through the thread.

Secondly, no it’s not better. Your little regional squabble is not worthy of a Condemnation.

What a kind compliment.

[Wunderlightia]

Already ruled as illegal for the use of “themselves”.

Nothing remotely condemnable here. If you want to see the scale of infamy required to earn a Condemnation, then I suggest you read the recently passed “Condemn Darkesia”. To use an English football analogy Darkesia is Premier Division - Vooperia is not even League Division 2.

The Security Council,

Acknowledging that Vooperia is the WA delegate and founder of The United Federations;

Noting that war has been around for almost the region's entire existence;

Applauding that most region officers did help to make peace during wars;

Disgusted that Vooperia as delegate and founder of the region did not make any effort to stop any kinds of violence between member nations;

Horrified that Vooperia has threatened and forces member nations to comply with their own rules for their own personal gain;

Terrified that Vooperia makes region members create a false paradise for itself;

Further horrified that Vooperia has only resolved conflicts between itself and other parties;

Shocked that Vooperia massacres innocent civilians to be seen as a warning to others;

Appaled that Vooperia has caused the massive split of The United Federations due to region members' intolerance of its tyranny. This resulted in many region members leaving for the region of Urana Firma;

Believing that Vooperia is obsessed with gaining power through notorious means, such as threats and punishments;

Urging all members of the World Assembly to recognize that Vooperia is a corrupt dictatorship ruled with an iron fist and is ruthless with others;

Hereby Condemns Vooperia

Already ruled as illegal for the use of “themselves”.

Nothing remotely condemnable here. If you want to see the scale of infamy required to earn a Condemnation, then I suggest you read the recently passed “Condemn Darkesia”. To use an English football analogy Darkesia is Premier Division - Vooperia is not even League Division 2.

Is this better?

Perhaps two more points?

In dismay at the anarchy caused by Vooperia refusing to assist The United Federations and utilising their executive powers solely for the benefit of themselves;

Disgusted by the actions of Vooperia in furthering aggressive political tensions between Urana Firma and The United Federations;

[Wunderlightia]

The "themselves" can be removed and replaced if necessary.

[Marxist Germany]

Please don't triple post

[Wunderlightia]

This could also be included. A fellow server member recommended I comment on this.

Dismayed Vooperia has also caused region members to loathe him. Region members have also questioned Vooperia and if it is suitable to be the WA delegate of the region;

[Marxist Germany]

This could also be included. A fellow server member recommended I comment on this.

Dismayed Vooperia has also caused region members to loathe it. Region members have also questioned Vooperia and if it is suitable to be the WA delegate of the region;

OOC:This isn't much imo
Edit:R4 in red

[Wunderlightia]

This could also be included. A fellow server member recommended I comment on this.

Dismayed Vooperia has also caused region members to loathe him. Region members have also questioned Vooperia and if it is suitable to be the WA delegate of the region;

I feel that is perfect. Would you like to co-author this issue since you've contributed a fair amount of the proposal?

Why not.
We should also follow Marxist - correction, Gaming -'s advice.

[Marxist Germany]

Why not.
We should also follow Marxist - correction, Gaming -'s advice.

Ok. I think you should submit the proposal as I have submitted it twice but have failed on both attempts.

OOC:It's too early to submit, proposals take weeks to draft.

[Marxist Germany]

OOC:It's too early to submit, proposals take weeks to draft.

Okay then. Do you have any suggestions for the proposal?

OOC:Not yet, but I'll have a thorough read later.

[Eumaeus]

The Security Council,

Acknowledging that Vooperia is the WA delegate and founder of The United Federations;

I would spell out World Assembly instead of using the shorthand. Delegate and Founder should also be capitalized, as they are titles.

Noting that war has been around for almost the region's entire existence;

I would change this to "Noting that said region has been in a state of near constant warfare since its founding;"

Applauding that most regional officers did help to make peace during wars;

Disgusted that as delegate and founder of the region Vooperia made no effort to stop any kinds of violence between member nations;

So far, and skimming through the rest of the proposal, I do not see any reasons the international community should care about these actions. None of the nominee's actions seem to have had an effects across the region's borders. Under different circumstances (if he were only the Delegate, the region was founderless, and he imposed a hidden password) then maybe there would be an argument for a Liberation, but in the current circumstances these are absolutely not grounds for a Condemnation.

Horrified that Vooperia has threatened and coerced member nations to comply with their own rules for their own personal gain;

Imho, Founders have ultimate authority in the regions they create, and as such are entitled to run their regions however they see fit, even if that means acting like a tyrant. Founders provide UCRs with additional security and stability that are not available to GCRs (that's why people only ever care about GCR coups). If a nation dislikes the way thier region is run, they are free to leave.

Terrified that Vooperia makes members create a false paradise for themselves;

What does this even mean? (I know that sounds sarcastic, but I am being genuine; I'm not sure what this clause is trying to refer to)

Disturbed that Vooperia has only resolved conflicts between themselves and other parties;

This is a huge pet peeve of mine, but I hate clauses that reuse a previously used adjective and just toss a "further..." before it. Like, all you have to do is type in the first word then the word "synonym" and Google will hook you up. And, again, while this is a sign of poor regional leadership, the SC can't condemn someone just for being a poor leader. Three quarters of the site, including myself, would probably fall into that category.

Shocked that Vooperia massacres innocent civilians to be seen as a warning to others;

Believing that Vooperia is obsessed with gaining power through notorious means, such as threats and punishments;

I feel like notorious isn't the right word choice, but I'm struggling to find a suitable alternative. Perhaps "nefarious" would work?

Urging all members of the World Assembly to recognize that Vooperia is a corrupt dictatorship ruled with an iron fist and is ruthless with others;

Hereby Condemns Vooperia.

Forgot a period.

I know you guys don't want to hear this, and I honestly find that this argument can turnoff new SC posters, but this really isn't the sort of thing the Security Council usually gets involved with. The SC regularly dismisses small scale interregional conflicts as "petty", and this proposal doesn't even seem to indicate that there is any interregional conflict. As I said previously, the majority of NationStates is apprehensive of telling Founders how to run their region. Even if you spent the real world money necessary for a telegram campaign to get this to vote, I can't see any GCR delegates voting for this, which almost always means that the proposal is doomed.

That being said, if you plan on continuing your pursuit of this, I highly recommend you stop submitting and withdrawing, and have a little patience with the drafting process. A Condemnation won't actually do anything tangible to change your region's situation, so you can afford to take some time to get to know how the SC works and get some advice on how to proceed.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

OOC:It's too early to submit, proposals take weeks to draft.

Okay then. Do you have any suggestions for the proposal?

To paraphrase Douglas Adams “bury it in soft peat for three months and recycle it as firelighters”.

Vooperia is the region’s founder which means they can do what they like. Disapprove? Move to another region then. You can spend weeks tweaking this proposal, but it will never pass.

[Marxist Germany]

OOC:I have been trying to tell them that this isn't really worth the international recognition, but I guess they're a bit too persistent.