NationStates

[*]Before reading this I remind all of you this is my first proposal ever and my first rough draft of this bill so it’s gaurunteed to be bad, I just need to see if I am able to fix it in its current state.





ACKNOWLEDGING that raiding is a legal and unrestricted practice done by multiplous regions,

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING Lily has raided a large number of regions, some of which have ceased to exist such as Frozen Tundra and Batasun Union, along with brutalizing regional communities to a shell of their former selves such as in The Free World Of Earth and Alliance Of Mentally Disabled Leaders

SHOCKED that the Security Council has not condemned Lily’s raiding practices before.

DISMAYED that between June 18th, 2017 and June 27th, 2018, when Lily was beginning their raiding practices, they sucessfully raided 474, quickly putting them on the international raiding scene.

APALLED that during their raid between September 4th, 2017 and September 18th, 2017, they sucessfully raided 96 regions and messed with the tags and polls of hundreds more

DISGUSTED that on November 13th, 2017, Lily sucessfully raided 88 regions in one day, smashing their old record. One of these regions was the massive region Soviens

APALLED that between April 6th, 2018 and April 18th, 2018, Member Nations of Lily participated in “Operation Supernova”, in which the raiding nations sucessfully raided 848 regions, many of which are inactive currently or have ceased to exist,

BELEIVING the raiding and destruction of regions lowers the amount of Regional World Assembly Delegates, which in turn decreases the amount of nations represented in the World Assembly, thereby weakening the power of the World Assembly

SHOCKED at the Member Nations of Lily’s practice of, after raiding regions, using them as advertising space of Lily, putting a hinderance of the freedom and culture of a region

HEREBY CONDEMNS Lily

Any takers or is it just that bad

I see you Chuukango

You should spend less time bumping the thread and more time developing the proposal.

I just need some guidance. Should I have more specific examples of raided regions

Ok so here are some mistakes I have noticed:

Forgot to mention Lily was a raiding organization
Have no specific examples
Did not emphasize how much an international hinderance that is
Did not mention how they have isolated regions

Oxes Republic wrote:I just need some guidance. Should I have more specific examples of raided regions

I just uh, I don’t know if this will get very far without some serious examples of wrongdoings.
Raiding is, well it’s part of the game, and if you don’t want to be raided there are simple ways to avoid such: a founder and/or a password.
That’s my entirely unqualified opinion, wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t CaLl mE oUt bY nAme.
That is all.

Noting that Lily is both a raider and defender organisation, meaning that it has no loyalty to any side and is in fact an opportunistic organisation.

Oxes Republic wrote:I just need some guidance. Should I have more specific examples of raided regions

Yes. But most of all understand that you're not likely to get responses right away. Especially now, us US folk are still sleepy.☕

Yeetville does not approve.

Aclion wrote:

Oxes Republic wrote:I just need some guidance. Should I have more specific examples of raided regions

Yes. But most of all understand that you're not likely to get responses right away. Especially now, us US folk are still sleepy.☕

Oof sorry. I’m east coast and forgot that California it’s 5 A.M.

Oxes Republic wrote:

Aclion wrote:Yes. But most of all understand that you're not likely to get responses right away. Especially now, us US folk are still sleepy.☕

Oof sorry. I’m east coast and forgot that California it’s 5 A.M.

Alright, the best advice I can give is to find and list specific examples of Lily raiding prosperous regions and making them isolated. It won’t make the resolution perfect, but it’ll go a long way towards making your case stronger.

Ok I’m going to take a break on this one to do research of regions they’ve taken

Does anyone have any examples they know? I have to take a break for a while

Oxes Republic wrote:Does anyone have any examples they know?

I will see and tell you. But till 23rd March itself, there were 349 regions under the control of Plum Island (Lily's puppet storage)

Appalled at Liliarchy's statement defending the raids conducted by Lily, “Peace through unity, unity through conquest”.

Oxes Republic wrote:I just need some guidance. Should I have more specific examples of raided regions

My advice - give it up, walk away now because you’re never going to be able to develop this into anything that would pass.

Ok so I just went to their RMB and asked about their greatest raid and got one where they raided 70+ Regions and now they are all abandoned

Looks good I suggest adding links to there raided regions for more support

CCPD wrote:Looks good I suggest adding links to there raided regions for more support

Really? I suggest you re-evaluate your standards.

Yeah looks good is a definite stretch

Oxes Republic wrote:Ok so I just went to their RMB and asked about their greatest raid and got one where they raided 70+ Regions and now they are all abandoned

As Lily's Prime Minister, I feel the need to mention that, during the raid you're referencing, we hit 400+ regions.
Just thought that It's an important distinction.
Have a good day~!
-Sakana

ACKNOWLEDGING that raiding is legal and unrestricted,

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING raiding is a hinderance and a restriction on many regions and nations, preventing peaceful existence and general happiness

NOTING that Lily claims to be a “military organization” that both defends and attacks opposing regions.

FURTHER NOTING that member nations of Lily only defend regions after the region has been sucessfully raided and taken over by the raiding nations of Lily.

SHOCKED that the Security Council has not condemned Lily’s raiding practices before.

APALLED that on April 6th, 2018, Member Nations of Lily participated in “Operation Supernova”, in which the raiding nations sucessfully raided 838 small regions, many of which are inactive currently or have ceased to exist,

BELEIVING the raiding and destruction of regions lowers the amount of Regional World Assembly Delegates, which in turn decreases the amount of nations represented in the World Assembly

SHOCKED at the Member Nations of Lily’s practice of, after raiding regions, using them as advertising space of Lily, putting a hinderance of the freedom and culture of a region

HEREBY CONDEMNS Lily

You should put new drafts in the Opening Post, and spoiler old ones. That way the most recent version is at the top and you don’t have to scroll through the whole thread to find it.

So in Draft #2 we have the usual cliche clauses and reference to one raid. Still nowhere near detailed enough.

Looks tidier though.