NationStates

So I went for it on the bill and proposed it. Hope all you Regional delegates can approve of it! Hopefully i made no mistakes and if I did, tell me so I withdraw it

Oxes Republic wrote:So I went for it on the bill and proposed it. Hope all you Regional delegates can approve of it! Hopefully i made no mistakes and if I did, tell me so I withdraw it

If you made mistakes the mods would mark it illegal, but you're doing ok on that front.

Honestly, it reads more like a commend so don't hold much hope of it passing (or reaching the floor)

Drop Your Pants wrote:

Oxes Republic wrote:So I went for it on the bill and proposed it. Hope all you Regional delegates can approve of it! Hopefully i made no mistakes and if I did, tell me so I withdraw it

If you made mistakes the mods would mark it illegal, but you're doing ok on that front.

Honestly, it reads more like a commend so don't hold much hope of it passing (or reaching the floor)

*Probably mark it illegal.

Ransium wrote:*Probably mark it illegal.

We'll blame you first if it is illegal

It’s not illegal which Shocks me. Also, how do I rename it to [submitted]
Thanks Wrapper and thanks Ransium for calling it Legal. You guys rock

Go to your original post and click on the EDIT button, and you can change the title.

Thank you Wrapper and Ransium for your advice. Also, special thanks for Ransium for calling the bill legal and tap Hanks Bhang bhang duc for his constant critism that led the bill to its current state. And Muratpasa

Against Lili doees tag raids and hasnt done grieefing of natives by ejection

Well this was a total failure

Oxes Republic wrote:Well this was a total failure

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:My advice - give it up, walk away now because you’re never going to be able to develop this into anything that would pass.

As The Hives sang “Hate to Say I Told You So.”

However you did manage to submit a legal proposal - most first time authors fail this step. You also drafted it on the forum which was another point in your favour. Where you failed was making Lily appear “bad” enough to be worthy of a Condemnation. Mounting large raids and refounding regions is the modus operandi of all raider outfits.

Please change "[Discarded]" in your thread title to "[Abandoned]" or time-travellers from the future might start thinking that this one got binned at vote! ;P

I changed the title

It would appear that a version of this draft has been submitted. The submitting nation seems to be from the same region as the author of this draft (or at least the author's former region), but may not be the same person. Does the new draft have the original author's permission to use the text of the old one?

Eumaeus wrote:It would appear that a version of this draft has been submitted. The submitting nation seems to be from the same region as the author of this draft (or at least the author's former region), but may not be the same person. Does the new draft have the original author's permission to use the text of the old one?

Put a GHR in about this yesterday for possible plagiarism. Mods replied they were looking at it.

The fact that it’s been declared legal leads me to believe that either permission was given somewhere or the submitting nation is a puppet of the original author.

Bhang Bhang Duc wrote:Put a GHR in about this yesterday for possible plagiarism. Mods replied they were looking at it.

The fact that it’s been declared legal leads me to believe that either permission was given somewhere or the submitting nation is a puppet of the original author.

If that's the case, I may as well post my thoughts on it here:

ACKNOWLEDGING that raiding is a legal and unrestricted practice done by multiplous regions,

"Multiplous" isn't a word. I think you should change "done by multiplous" to "performed by numerous".

FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGING Lily has raided a large number of regions, some of which have ceased to exist, such as Frozen Tundra and Batasun Union, along with brutalizing regional communities to a shell of their former selves such as in The Free World Of Earth and Alliance Of Mentally Disabled Leaders.

You were missing a comma, and the period at the end of this clause. I'm not sure why it is important that there be a distinction between regions that no longer exist and those that are still around. In fact, if anything pointing attention to that may be hurting the proposal: it proves that Lily does not forcibly refound their targets, which is the typical standard for condemning raider regions.

SHOCKED that the Security Council has not condemned Lily’s raiding practices before.

I mean absolutely no offense to the members of Lily, but they are only taggers. Impressive taggers, but taggers just the same. Though tagging is often considered in such proposals, the SC usually has a higher standard when it comes to condemning raider regions and uses tagging as ancillary evidence of why a region is worth condemning.

DISMAYED that between June 18th, 2017 and June 27th, 2018, when Lily was beginning their raiding practices, they sucessfully raided 474, quickly putting them on the international raiding scene.

You consistently misspell the word "successfully" throughout the proposal. I've highlighted every instance of it below as well.

APALLED that during their raids between September 4th, 2017 and September 18th, 2017, they sucessfully raided 96 regions and messed with the tags and polls of hundreds more.

A lot has changed in the 2-3 years I've been away from NationStates, but there are some things that seem to be universal across time. For example, the consistent and inexplicable misspelling of the word "appalled" is still a thing. Also, "raids" should be plural.

DISGUSTED that on November 13th, 2017, Lily sucessfully raided 88 regions in one day, smashing their old record. One of these regions was the massive region Soviens.

Forgot the period.

APPALLED that between April 6th, 2018 and April 18th, 2018, Member Nations of Lily participated in “Operation Supernova”, in which the raiding nations sucessfully raided 848 regions, many of which are inactive currently or have ceased to exist.

That comma should be a period. Did Lily run Operation Supernova, or was it run by someone else? The latter section of the clause detracts from the necessity of the condemnation a la my argument above.

BELIEVING the raiding and destruction of regions lowers the amount of Regional World Assembly Delegates, which in turn decreases the amount of nations represented in the World Assembly, thereby weakening the power of the World Assembly.

Forgot a period. Also this argument doesn't make any sense. If one region has 10 WA nations and no delegate with 0 endorsements, and another region has 10 WA nations and a delegate with 9 endorsements, both regions will still have 10 WA nations. the number of delegates and the number of WA nations does not affect the number of WA nations. Regional destruction does, technically mean that there is one less delegate, however you've failed to provide any evidence that Lily has caused the destruction of a single region. Even when a tag raid (the only type of raid you seem to mention in this proposal) deposes a WA delegate, that delegate will be back in power by the next update.

SHOCKED at the Member Nations of Lily’s practice of, after raiding regions, using raided regions as advertising space of Lily, putting a hinderance on the freedom and culture of these regions.

Forgot a period, and I rephrased the entire clause.

HEREBY CONDEMNS Lily.

Forgot a period.

Aside from its less than stellar spelling, grammar, and syntax, there are numerous clauses that fall short or even hinder the arguments being made in this proposal. I don't think this proposal meets the burden of proof that Lily has crossed the threshold into being condemnation worthy.