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[DRAFT] Commend International Democratic Union

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Abhichandra
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[DRAFT] Commend International Democratic Union

Postby Abhichandra » Sat Jan 26, 2019 3:54 pm

The Security Council,

Aware how the International Democratic Union was originally founded in 2004 by a group of nations who sought sanctuary during a coup of The North Pacific, and since then has been a pioneer in the drafting and creating of World Assembly resolutions and continues to unite the NationStates community and maintains a democratic government,

Observing that the International Democratic Union also encourages nations to participate in the General Assembly, and has made several guides detailing how to write General Assembly resolutions, and maintains a list of General Assembly resolutions made by International Democratic Union members,

Noting that nations of the International Democratic Union have made a significant favourable impact on World Assembly member nations by writing over 12% of General Assembly resolutions at this time, and have written a wide variety of resolutions which focus on the environment, human rights, and social justice among other categories, including

  • "Disability Welfare Act" by Sanctaria, which gives people with disabilities a system to help them and benefits,
  • "Clean Water Act" by Emoblalia, which makes water cleaner and safer for nations and establishes The International Bureau of Water Safety, and,
  • "Ban on Leaded Fuel" by Bears Armed Mission, which bans toxic fuels in the interest of better health conditions,

Seeing that members of the International Democratic Union have brought up several possible international issues regarding nations, including

  • "Nowhere To Go!" by Nova Sodor, which focuses on the importance of public facilities,
  • "Come Fly With Me?" by Thyerata, which helps resolve the problem of overbooked flights, and,
  • "Not Mushroom for Error" by Bears Armed, which warns citizens of possible poisonous mushrooms,

Acknowledging the International Democratic Union celebrates nation's accomplishments and supports nations bringing attention to issues with a dispatch entitled 'Issues by IDU Members'

Recognizing that the International Democratic Union inspires nations to get involved with the World Assembly and international issues by encouraging nations to draft proposals on their regional forum,

Further Recognizing that the International Democratic Union strives to build a stronger community with member nations and international relationships by hosting a number of regional festivals, including the Film Festival, where nations share descriptions of videos in their nations, the Cheese Festival, an international competition in which nations compete with different culinary interests, and IDU Football Championships, which began in 2008 and helps reinforce relationships between nations,

Believing that the International Democratic Union has had a significant favourable impact on the world as a whole,

Hereby commends the International Democratic Union

Some notes:
- Is it a R1 violation if I mention any of the work Bears Armed, Sciongrad, Gnejs, and Sanctaria have done (issue writing and GA resolutions)
- This is a rough draft
- I'm not sure if words such as "regional forum" or "dispatch" violate the rules
- Am I allowed to mention the dispatch that Bears Armed Mission wrote about writing GA proposals?
Last edited by Abhichandra on Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:58 pm, edited 20 times in total.

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Kaboomlandia
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Postby Kaboomlandia » Sat Jan 26, 2019 5:07 pm

Responses to the notes:

- R1: Those aren't staff functions, so they're allowed. You just can't mention issues that were written after they became IEs.

- R4: "Regional forum" and "dispatch" are legal.

I'm generally supportive of this - could definitely include a clause mentioning the work they've done for WALL, which is pretty significant.
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Abhichandra
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Postby Abhichandra » Sat Jan 26, 2019 7:08 pm

Thanks Kaboomlandia.

I have made some changes, which I describe the events IDU holds. I don't know if the descriptions of the festivals are accurate, so if a IDU member wants to correct me, please do. :)

I also am open to suggestions for the 'Believing' clause.
Kaboomlandia wrote:
- R1: Those aren't staff functions, so they're allowed. You just can't mention issues that were written after they became IEs.


So, could I mention:

GA #176 Disability Welfare Act by Sanctaria
GA #301 Ban on Leaded Fuel by Bears Armed Mission

(I'm not exactly sure when they became GA Secretariat/Issue Editors)
Last edited by Abhichandra on Sat Jan 26, 2019 7:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Sat Jan 26, 2019 7:23 pm

Abhichandra wrote:Thanks Kaboomlandia.

I have made some changes, which I describe the events IDU holds. I don't know if the descriptions of the festivals are accurate, so if a IDU member wants to correct me, please do. :)

I also am open to suggestions for the 'Believing' clause.
Kaboomlandia wrote:
- R1: Those aren't staff functions, so they're allowed. You just can't mention issues that were written after they became IEs.


So, could I mention:

GA #176 Disability Welfare Act by Sanctaria
GA #301 Ban on Leaded Fuel by Bears Armed Mission

(I'm not exactly sure when they became GA Secretariat/Issue Editors)

If you're not sure when, best to telegram them and ask them. I'm also looking forward to this, as I believe IDU is immensely worthy of a commendation. I think there's a lot more detail that can be added to this proposal to flesh it out and give it more content, but unfortunately I myself am not very knowledgeable about this region.

You could possibly point out that the region was originally created by a group of nations from TNP, who were seeking sanctuary during a coup of the said feeder. That's pretty much the extent of my knowledge there though.
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Abhichandra
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Postby Abhichandra » Sat Jan 26, 2019 8:33 pm

Thanks! I added the part about the coup.

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Ransium
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Postby Ransium » Sat Jan 26, 2019 10:37 pm

I will try to provide in-depth feedback soonish, please don’t rush this to submission. While on the rightish track I suppose, this proposal needs a ton of work before it’s a commendation IDU deserves.

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Qwabour Harbour
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Postby Qwabour Harbour » Sun Jan 27, 2019 3:38 am

How about having commended members i.e. Speratist peoples, Bears Armed, Sciongrad etc.

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Cormactopia Prime
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Postby Cormactopia Prime » Sun Jan 27, 2019 7:13 am

I think this proposal is a good start, but I agree with Ransium that it needs more work. I don't personally know a lot about IDU to be able to help out.

That said, full support in principle for commending IDU. Let's just make sure it's the commendation they deserve. This is a good start though.

Qwabour Harbour wrote:How about having commended members i.e. Speratist peoples, Bears Armed, Sciongrad etc.

This is a great suggestion as well.
Last edited by Cormactopia Prime on Sun Jan 27, 2019 7:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ransium
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Postby Ransium » Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:18 am

I think one the challenges of commend IDU is making some sort of case for why the region as a whole needs to commended and not it's individual parts, I'm not totally sure how to do this myself, but I think you need to give it more thought.

The Security Council,

Aware how the International Democratic Union was originally founded by a group of nations who sought sanctuary during a coup of The North Pacific, and managed to prosper after dropping to 17 nations at one point, and at this time contains 140 nations,


While regional history is good it's not clear why you are starting their commend with this. Why is this commendable? You need to reframe it so it's not just some facts about IDU. Generally, I recommend starting your commends with an overall thesis statement about why the WA should care. As for the history, I think more interesting would be discussing why the history of IDU lead to the WA drafting power house you have now.

Noting that nations of the International Democratic Union have made a significant impact on World Assembly member nations by writing a large percentage of General Assembly Resolutions, including

"Clean Water Act" by Emoblalia, which makes water cleaner and safer for nations and establishes The International Bureau of Water Safety,
- (thinking of adding two more resolutions)

Observing that the International Democratic Union also encourages nations to participate in the General Assembly, and has made several guides detailing how to write General Assembly resolutions, and has a list of General Assembly resolutions made by International Democratic Union members,


So this is the largest point commend IDU should likely be focused on and all you can say about it is they've authored a large percentage of resolutions? That's super vague! And then you pick one resolution seemingly at random? I know nailing down the exact number of resolutions written by folks in IDU while they were in IDU is slightly complicated but you need to do a better job of something to demonstrate the full scale then what you have here. It's also worth noting the IDU members also drafted some resolutions and the historical international governing body. The last line is a good point to bring up but you need to better indicate how this is IDU fostering a community of GA authorship.

Seeing that members of the International Democratic Union have also written many Security Council resolutions, including "Commend Sciongrad" by Sainterre,

Further observing that members of the International Democratic Union have also focused on several national issues, including

"Nowhere To Go!" By Nova Sodor, which focuses on the importance of public facilities, and,
"Come Fly With Me?" By Thyerata, which helps resolve the problem of overbooked flights,

Acknowledging the International Democratic Union celebrates nation's accomplishments and supports nations bringing attention to issues with a dispatch entitled 'Issues by IDU Members'


Again these accomplishments are super vague and are presented in a bland manner that don't make them feel celebrate or part of an argument as to why the region is special.

Recognizing that the International Democratic Union inspires nations to get involved with the World Assembly and international issues with areas to draft on their regional forum,


How?

Further Recognizing that the International Democratic Union also holds several international and regional festivals, including the Film Festival, where nations share descriptions of videos in their nations, the Cheese Festival, an international competition in which nations compete with different culinary interests, and IDU Football Championships, which began in 2008 and helps reinforce relationships between nations,


This is actually approaching okay. It has concrete details and it's close to making a good point. If I were to rewrite:

Praising the community building and international relationships strengthening of International Democratic Union via numerous annual international and regional festivals, including the Film Festival, where nations share descriptions of videos in their nations, the Cheese Festival, an international competition in which nations compete with different culinary interests, and IDU Football Championships, which began in 2008,


To me, that really sounds like an argument as to why a region deserves to be commended and not just some facts about IDU I've assembled.

I'm also not sure if putting "the" in front of International Democratic Union, as you do repeatedly in this proposal is correct.
Last edited by Ransium on Sun Jan 27, 2019 8:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Abhichandra
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Postby Abhichandra » Sun Jan 27, 2019 12:06 pm

Thanks for the comments. I think I've made most of the changes. I was at first hesitant to include the IE's and GenSec people because of R1, but I guess that writing GA resolutions (and an issue in BA's case) doesn't have to do with their duties.

I will also add a clause with the historical resolutions, and a clause about WALL.

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Yelda
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Postby Yelda » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:34 pm

Nice. I would support this.

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Postby Unibot III » Tue Jan 29, 2019 3:13 pm

IDU has been a very positive force in the GA for many years. Full support.
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Bears Armed
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Postby Bears Armed » Wed Jan 30, 2019 8:12 am

Ransium wrote:
Aware how the International Democratic Union was originally founded by a group of nations who sought sanctuary during a coup of The North Pacific, and managed to prosper after dropping to 17 nations at one point, and at this time contains 140 nations,

While regional history is good it's not clear why you are starting their commend with this. Why is this commendable?
Perhaps give the year [and even the month?] of founding, and explain that the IDU has managed to maintain a democratic government since then?

Observing that the International Democratic Union also encourages nations to participate in the General Assembly, and has made several guides detailing how to write General Assembly resolutions, and has a list of General Assembly resolutions made by International Democratic Union members,
I suggest moving this clause to just before the one with the proportion [& examples] of GA resolutions that we've written; replace "has a list" with "maintains a list"; and mention that we help nations in other regions to write GA proposals as well.

Seeing that members of the International Democratic Union have also written many Security Council resolutions, including "Commend Sciongrad" by Sainterre,
But as Sciongrad is also in the IDU some people might see this detail as too close to a "self-commend" to be worthy of commending...

Further observing that members of the International Democratic Union have also focused on several national issues, including
Re-wording this to say [something along the lines of] "members of the International Democratic Region have pointed out possible problems internationally", as in some previous SC commendations that mention issues-writing, might be better.

Abhichandra wrote:Thanks for the comments. I think I've made most of the changes. I was at first hesitant to include the IE's and GenSec people because of R1, but I guess that writing GA resolutions (and an issue in BA's case)
That's six issues... so far.
8)
I will also add a clause with the historical resolutions, and a clause about WALL.
I'm not sure that mentioning WALL would be a good idea.
Last edited by Bears Armed on Wed Jan 30, 2019 8:16 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby Aclion » Wed Jan 30, 2019 11:32 am

Bears Armed wrote:
I will also add a clause with the historical resolutions, and a clause about WALL.
I'm not sure that mentioning WALL would be a good idea.

Yep, while WALL is politically impressive it's also to controversial too contribute to a commendation.
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Postby Bears Armed » Fri Feb 01, 2019 7:31 am

Bears Armed wrote:
Ransium wrote:While regional history is good it's not clear why you are starting their commend with this. Why is this commendable?
Perhaps give the year [and even the month?] of founding, and explain that the IDU has managed to maintain a democratic government since then?

2004, July.

Noting that nations of the International Democratic Union have made a significant impact on World Assembly member nations by writing over 11% of General Assembly resolutions at this time, and have written a wide variety of resolutions which focus on the environment, human rights, social justice among other categories, including
Believing that the International Democratic Union has had a significant impact on the world as a whole,
Insert the word "favourable" between "significant" and "impact", in both clauses?
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Re: Commend International Democratic Union

Postby Yohannes » Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:34 am

As a newbie General Assembly watcher, I admire this region very much (for the admirable talents of its members/core players). Laeral is a well-known realistic politics roleplayer over the National and International Roleplaying section of NationStates (he has probably the best completed/near completed in-character realistic RP NationStates election thread; and yes I have seen them all since Jolt his one is much better than the prev. holder of that title)

I regularly read the General Assembly drafts of Separatist Peoples, Bears Armed (who is also a poster in the NationStates non-military Realism community thread) and Sanctaria has a well written embassy thread (not to mention GA record outside his Issues Editing role). The region has got everything RP - National and International Roleplaying, Issues Editing (not really RP but also involves good writing) and General Assembly (Word Assembly RP). Hope to see this draft becoming a successful resolution and congratz to IDU (if it will be successful)!
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Abhichandra
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Postby Abhichandra » Sat Feb 16, 2019 8:16 pm

I've edited the draft
Last edited by Abhichandra on Sat Feb 16, 2019 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Abhichandra
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Postby Abhichandra » Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:58 pm

Any feedback?


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