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[PASSED] Commend Bachtendekuppen

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Libertanny
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[PASSED] Commend Bachtendekuppen

Postby Libertanny » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:19 am

Hello,

I would like to start a discussion on proposal I have submitted. I am releasing this post after the submit of proposal, because the leading idea was to make it a surprise.

I tried to keep the proposal short but full of information, yet, there's so much more that could be said about Bachtendekuppen.

As an annotation about authors, Xoriet helped with getting more information about Bachtendekuppen, while NeuPolska helped with editing.

The Security Council,

Noting that Bachtendekuppen was the Delegate of The East Pacific for a period of two terms (8 months), during which it served to protect the region from the threat of the Defender Act and managed to increase activity in the community,

Recognizing Bachtendekuppen's mediation abilities, which allowed for the creation of treaties with The North Pacific, Osiris, Taijitu and New Pacific Order (The Pacific), along with recognizing Bachtendekuppen as the inter-regional diplomat whose advice proved exceptional,

Further recognizing Bachtendekuppen's great contribution to the University of The East Pacific, creating the Library of the history of The East Pacific, and its recent help with writing regional chronicles,

Observing Bachtendekuppen's active mentorship to new Executive Staffers in the Regional Government and eagerness to help,

Applauding Bachtendekuppen's great work as the former Editor of the Eastern Pacific News Service (currently Ministry of Information), Minister of Foreign Affairs, Arbiter of Conclave, Minister of Culture and Education, Provost, World Assembly Delegate and many more,

Aware of Bachtendekuppen's current contribution to the region as the Magister, Vizier, member of Foreign Affairs Comittee and adviser to region-mates,

Further applauding Bachtendekuppen's undying loyalty to The East Pacific region,

Impressed with Bachtendekuppen's influence within all three parts of the regional government and several regions,

Further noting Bachtendekuppen's contribution to the Magisterium by drafting the Curia Act, an instrumental piece of legislature for the regional government,

Hereby Commends Bachtendekuppen.
Last edited by Ransium on Thu Dec 13, 2018 2:33 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Postby Tinhampton » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:23 am

Last edited by Tinhampton on Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:32 am


Oh, I did read the rules but haven't thought about it.
Given the usage of "his", do you think it will be accepted as "legal" or I need to delete and submit it again with changes?

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Flanderlion
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Postby Flanderlion » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:41 am

Good nominee, haven't had too much to do with him in my brief forays into TEP, but always seemed like a well deserving player for a commendation.
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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:43 am

Flanderlion wrote:Good nominee, haven't had too much to do with him in my brief forays into TEP, but always seemed like a well deserving player for a commendation.

Yes. I was actually surprised that he isn't commended yet.

Anyways, I corrected proposal, so it doesn't violate the rule anymore:
https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1541850096

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Drop Your Pants
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Postby Drop Your Pants » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:50 am

Noting that Bachtendekuppen's was the Delegate of the East Pacific for a period of two terms (8 months), during which he served to protect the region from the threat of the Defender Act and managed to increase activity in the community,

Recognizing Bachtendekuppen's mediation abilities, which allowed for the creation of treaties with the North Pacific, Osiris, Taijitu and New Pacific Order (the Pacific), along with recognizing him as the inter-regional diplomat whose advice proved exceptional,

Further recognizing Bachtendekuppen's great contribution to the University of the East Pacific, creating the Library of the history of the East Pacific, and his recent help with writing regional chronicles,

Observing Bachtendekuppen's active mentorship to new Executive Staffers in the Regional Government and eagerness to help,

Applauding Bachtendekuppen's great work as the former Editor of the Eastern Pacific News Service (currently Ministry of Information), Minister of Foreign Affairs, Arbiter of Conclave and World Assembly Delegate,

Aware of Bachtendekuppen's current contribution to the region as the Magister, Vizier, and adviser to his region-mates,


Noticing Bachtendekuppen's contribution to the regional forum,

Whats noteworthy about forum posting, exactly? Feels like filler.

And my pet peeve in these proposals, capitalize the 't' in The East Pacific. It does make a difference since the East Pacific is a separate region :P
Last edited by Drop Your Pants on Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:58 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Sat Nov 10, 2018 6:04 am

"He" and "His" will get it marked illegal for a rule 4(b) violation.
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Postby Wrapper » Sat Nov 10, 2018 9:54 am

Kuriko wrote:"He" and "His" will get it marked illegal for a rule 4(b) violation.

Indeed it has. Also illegal for "regional forum" (plainly refers to the electronic entity in this context) and the list of authors (can only list other co-authors, not the submitter and not an editor).

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Cosmopolitan borovan
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Postby Cosmopolitan borovan » Sat Nov 10, 2018 9:54 am

Nations should be referred to as it or nation being named not he or his. In the WA you refer to nations not people
Last edited by Cosmopolitan borovan on Sat Nov 10, 2018 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:29 pm

Thank you for all replies.
It's my first proposal ever, so sorry for things I did wrong. I simply wasn't aware of all of them. Regarding usage of "he" etc, as a non-native speaker of English, I simply didn't have idea how to change it. I was thinking of using "them" or "they" and "their". But it would violate the rule again.
So thank you for all notices. I will do my best to consider all your criticism and propose the commendation once again.
Last edited by Libertanny on Sat Nov 10, 2018 4:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Queen YUNo
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Postby Queen YUNo » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:09 pm

:meh: What a beautiful proposal, and I'm proud you've come this far with it.

Bachtendekuppen has maintained the University of TEP for years and one of his courses was the Civics course. He crafted the Curia Act and various other legislation that stands to this day. He and Ram are the best delegates of TEP's history. Good luck!


EDIT: 12/8/18

Sorry but I don’t want my support of Bach pasted right in a public forum here so I crossed it out. Yes, he did well but many new events have taught me to actually stop and re-consider many players’ integrity.
I Abstain and will not make a choice here.
Last edited by Queen YUNo on Sat Dec 08, 2018 9:57 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby Frattastan IV » Sat Nov 10, 2018 5:27 pm

Libertanny wrote:Thank you for all replies.
It's my first proposal ever, so sorry for things I did wrong. I simply wasn't aware of all of them. Regarding usage of "he" etc, as a non-native speaker of English, I simply didn't have idea how to change it. I was thinking of using "them" or "they" and "their". But it would violate the rule again.
So thank you for all notices. I will do my best to consider all your criticism and propose the commendation once again.


A common way around is to use "it" ("its" for the possessive).
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Draganisia wrote:Also it seems the next war could be NPO fighting directly against Pacifica.

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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Sun Nov 11, 2018 3:34 am

Heyo,

I have edited it (once again): https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1541932230

I hope it doesn't violate rules anymore. If it does, I have nomore ideas, so please, point them out with details ;)

Hope it is OKay now!

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Postby Eutrovia » Sun Nov 11, 2018 3:42 am

How do you pronounce Bachtendekuppen?
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Postby Dreshand » Sun Nov 11, 2018 3:46 am

Eutrovia wrote:How do you pronounce Bachtendekuppen?

Simple, you dont
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Postby Kuriko » Sun Nov 11, 2018 7:53 am

Libertanny wrote:Heyo,

I have edited it (once again): https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1541932230

I hope it doesn't violate rules anymore. If it does, I have nomore ideas, so please, point them out with details ;)

Hope it is OKay now!

You still have a "his" in the Aware clause.
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Postby Raionitu » Sun Nov 11, 2018 7:58 am

Libertanny wrote:Heyo,

I have edited it (once again): https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1541932230

I hope it doesn't violate rules anymore. If it does, I have nomore ideas, so please, point them out with details ;)

Hope it is OKay now!

Btw, rather than constantly deleting and resubmitting proposals, people normally draft on the forums using feedback for awhile, then once it's good submit just the final draft.
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Cosmopolitan borovan
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Postby Cosmopolitan borovan » Sun Nov 11, 2018 12:27 pm

Libertanny wrote:Heyo,

I have edited it (once again): https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1541932230

I hope it doesn't violate rules anymore. If it does, I have nomore ideas, so please, point them out with details ;)

Hope it is OKay now!

Aware of Bachtendekuppen's current contribution to the region as the Magister, Vizier, member of Foreign Affairs Comittee and adviser to his

Change his to its

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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Sun Nov 11, 2018 4:07 pm

So I have a question. Since I dont want to keep spamming Security Council with one proposal, if I change the sentence starting with "aware" is the proposal going to be okay?
And sorry for the mess. It is just the first time I am proposing something in WA.

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Postby Lord Dominator » Sun Nov 11, 2018 4:08 pm

Libertanny wrote:So I have a question. Since I dont want to keep spamming Security Council with one proposal, if I change the sentence starting with "aware" is the proposal going to be okay?
And sorry for the mess. It is just the first time I am proposing something in WA.

I'd really highly suggest letting this thread sit here for a bit, so that people can actually go through with the metaphorical fine-toothed comb and find illegalities so you don't keep needing to pull it.
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Drop Your Pants
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Postby Drop Your Pants » Mon Nov 12, 2018 4:08 am

And i'll continue to moan about capitalizing the 't' :P
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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Mon Nov 12, 2018 9:50 am

Drop Your Pants wrote:And i'll continue to moan about capitalizing the 't' :P

Yea I missed this one.
That's the last time I write proposal on mobile. Too easy not to notice something important :P

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Libertanny
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Postby Libertanny » Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:19 am

I've taken all suggestions from Ministry of WAA, rules and here. I really hope it's okay now:

https://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_vi ... 1543486363

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Escade
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Postby Escade » Thu Nov 29, 2018 8:22 pm

<3 Puffin

I think Bachtendekuppen is an excellent candidate. It's definetely difficult to write a SC proposal but once this is revised a bit I'd fully support.

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Cormactopia Prime
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Postby Cormactopia Prime » Sat Dec 08, 2018 8:42 pm

I'll start by saying this is a very well written proposal, so props to the author for that.

Nothing against the author or his writing in the rest of what I'm about to say, which is that I'll be voting against this proposal for the following reasons:

1. While Bachtendekuppen's record may be impressive within The East Pacific, and while I do believe someone can earn a Commendation with activity in just one region, I also believe a person's accomplishments must be truly remarkable. I don't see anything truly remarkable in Bachtendekuppen's record. I don't see anything other Delegates haven't done, and yet many of those Delegates will never be commended -- and probably shouldn't be.

2. I don't see anything at all commendable about Bachtendekuppen negotiating a treaty between TEP and the New Pacific Order, speaking of which...

3. TEP has chosen to continue its treaty alliance with the NPO, and as Delegate of a region that is at war with the NPO, I'm not in the mood to do TEP or its citizens any favors. Other Delegates in other regions at war with the NPO may choose differently, and if so, that's their prerogative. But on behalf of Pacifica, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that TEP's choice to stick with the NPO should have consequences, and one of them should be that the automatic goodwill of the people they are siding against by continuing an alliance with the NPO is no longer guaranteed.
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