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[Draft] Commend "Atlantian Oceania"

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The Confederate Territory
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[Draft] Commend "Atlantian Oceania"

Postby The Confederate Territory » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:02 pm

The Security Council,

Acknowledging Atlantian Oceania's as one of the great sporting regions in the world's history,

Recognizing Atlantian Oceania's extraordinary efforts setting it as the all-time most-winning region in the Nationstates World Cup,

Noting that Atlantian Oceania's Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Association Football (AOCAF) predates similar competitive football tournaments such as Copa Rushmori and Esportivan,

Further recognizing Atlantian Oceania's excellence and consistency as its member nations have hosted 56 cups of the AOCAF for its members,

Believing Atlantian Oceania's dedication to worldwide sports has imposed a great influence in worldwide diplomacy, friendly competition, and culture among all nations,

Further believing that Atlantian Oceania's sporting competitions have influenced countless other regions to host worldwide competitions of their own,

Hereby commends Atlantian Oceania.
Last edited by The Confederate Territory on Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:58 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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The Confederate Territory
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Postby The Confederate Territory » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:06 pm

Just some background on this proposal. As many of you may recognize me, you should know I am rather eager to get a proposal passed in order to recognize regions that truly deserve it. Through my trials and errors, Ransium generously provided me a link to unrecognized nations and regions that deserve it. Atlantian Oceania certainly caught my eye because I do similar things in my region but at a regional level. I am absolutely impressed by their all time performance in the Nationstates World Cup and the fact that they have hosted 56 cups of their football championships. I am honestly surprised this region has yet to be commended for their achievements and influence in the NationStates community.

Could I please get some feedback on this proposal? I would appreciate it immensely! I decided not to submit it yet and instead create a draft here on the forums because you all give me wonderful feedback and I would be ecstatic to be the nation that gives this region its deserving commendation.

Thank you very much!
Last edited by The Confederate Territory on Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Lord Dominator
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Postby Lord Dominator » Tue Oct 23, 2018 3:50 pm

I would heartily suggest talking to people in the region to try and find more stuff to Commend them for, at this point the only worthy thing is the 56 cups and you're not giving context to why that's important (for all we know those happened over a short period with few participants).
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Tinhampton
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Postby Tinhampton » Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:04 pm

Whilst I certainly appreciate your dedication, this proposal seems a bit thin on the ground. As it stands, you have three major points:
  • Atlantian Oceania has won a lot of World Cups.
  • Atlantian Oceania has hosted a lot of regional football competitions.
  • Through doing this, Atlantian Oceania has inspired others to follow their lead and generally be good mates.
That said, however, it is the constituent nations of AO, not the region itself, that has won these World Cups. Likewise, it is the nations themselves, and not the region, who have helped consistently hosted the AOCAF; nor are entries open for all, only to those nations in AO itself. The AOCAF predates its Esportivan and Rushmori competitors, certainly, but it has few competitors beyond the "Big Three" sporting regions aforementioned, whether of good or shitty quality, and whether region-only (most of them are) or truly international.

As it stands, this proposal is poorly-written, often repeated and even directly taken (we have rules against plagiarism here) from the regional WFE, and will either get royally thrashed or speedily repealed if it ever gets to vote. Returning to my original point, people reading this resolution are going to quickly assume that Atlantian Oceania has done nothing of note beyond being mildly successful and therefore disregard or oppose this. You need to turn this into a resolution that, from the view of somebody who knows absolutely nothing about AO (which is going to be most of your audience), sets it apart as being one of the leading lights of the roleplay sphere. How, for instance, has it shown leadership and guidance towards others, or even the rest of the world?

To misquote Morpheus, "nobody can be told what a good resolution is: you have to see it for yourself." A significant part of building your arguments - and turning this proposal from a superficial badge-hunting mess (you yourself claim to be "rather eager to get a proposal passed... [and] ecstatic to be the nation that gives [AO] its deserving commendation" in the second post of this thread) into an erudite and coherent piece of work - is sheer research, as LD was saying above (and as I can testify to as a two-time SC author, one of those a Commendation for a prominent Sports nation): getting out there, learning what truly makes AO such a great region, and taking the points that best represent their awesomeness and initiative. A poorly-researched SC proposal will go nowhere!

You should neither rush the research phase nor take too long on it (drafting is a marathon, not a sprint and certainly not a tool to help you recruit people into your region), and you should also certainly consider the other feedback you recieve on this 'un both here and elsewhere, but it will do you good in the end. I wish you the best of luck with this adventure, which it will contrive to become in due course! ;P
Last edited by Tinhampton on Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:21 pm

While I agree with most things Tinhampton has said, I don't agree with her plagiarism viewpoint. Plagiarism in proposals only apply to passed proposals or drafts of proposals, I don't believe the rule applies to WFEs. Now that that's out of the way, I really do believe this proposal needs more content. Maybe talking about and explaining the sporting competitions, what the region as a whole has contributed, etc etc. Definitely needs more work.
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Postby Wrapper » Tue Oct 23, 2018 4:58 pm

Kuriko wrote:While I agree with most things Tinhampton has said, I don't agree with her plagiarism viewpoint. Plagiarism in proposals only apply to passed proposals or drafts of proposals, I don't believe the rule applies to WFEs.

Largely incorrect. Plagiarism is plagiarism regardless of the source. Copying and using someone else's work without permission violates site rules, whether it's previous proposals/resolutions, WFEs, forum posts, dictionary definitions, or real-world laws and resolutions.

That said, in this particular case, the only phrase of substance in the WFE that I can find that is common to this draft is "one of the great sporting regions in history." Given that particular phrase or similar wording is a very common sports colloquialism, I don't see it as a definitive plagiarism violation. That said, if the author did indeed copy it from the WFE, the author should rewrite the clause. Use your own words, not someone else's.

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The Confederate Territory
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Postby The Confederate Territory » Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:32 pm

Alright, after reading through your responses, I will do some more research into the region itself and modify this draft to give it a stronger argument in favor of the region. Also, any bits of plagiarism were completely unintentional, but I will reword them in the the draft. If any of you in this thread notice something that could help contribute to this commendation, by all means, please let me know! I appreciate all feedback!
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The Confederate Territory
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Postby The Confederate Territory » Tue Oct 23, 2018 5:48 pm

Lord Dominator wrote:I would heartily suggest talking to people in the region to try and find more stuff to Commend them for, at this point the only worthy thing is the 56 cups and you're not giving context to why that's important (for all we know those happened over a short period with few participants).


Thank you for the advice, I telegrammed some of them for assistance. You make a very valid point here.
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HH Greggland
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Postby HH Greggland » Tue Oct 23, 2018 7:16 pm

The Confederate Territory wrote:
Lord Dominator wrote:I would heartily suggest talking to people in the region to try and find more stuff to Commend them for, at this point the only worthy thing is the 56 cups and you're not giving context to why that's important (for all we know those happened over a short period with few participants).


Thank you for the advice, I telegrammed some of them for assistance. You make a very valid point here.


It looks good to me honestly, but what would I know; I'm in your region and I am quite unfamiliar with the world outside of our region. Perhaps emphasize the importance of the achievements you have listed in your draft. Let us know why what they did is deserving of a commendation, don't just tell us that it is deserving of a commendation.

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Kuriko
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Postby Kuriko » Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:33 am

Ah, thanks Wrapper :). Can always count on you to explain the rules, so that's nice!
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95X
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Re: [Draft] Commend "Atlantian Oceania"

Postby 95X » Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:26 pm

Hmm, I've been a member of the region since 2006 and checking this forum on accident is the first I've heard of this. :)

I personally have poll creation ability, so I've created a regional poll to see what other members of the region think of the idea ("Re-open Bids" is a term used in NS Sports event hosting roughly meaning we'd like different options presented). I've also linked to this thread on our RMB.
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The Confederate Territory
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Postby The Confederate Territory » Wed Oct 24, 2018 1:29 pm

95X wrote:Hmm, I've been a member of the region since 2006 and checking this forum on accident is the first I've heard of this. :)

I personally have poll creation ability, so I've created a regional poll to see what other members of the region think of the idea ("Re-open Bids" is a term used in NS Sports event hosting roughly meaning we'd like different options presented). I've also linked to this thread on our RMB.


If you all vote in favor and are supportive of receiving a commendation, I would be pleased to work with you all to write up a quality proposal that meets your region's desires. Thank you.
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Commonwealth of Baker Park
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Postby Commonwealth of Baker Park » Wed Oct 24, 2018 8:54 pm

The Confederate Territory wrote:
95X wrote:Hmm, I've been a member of the region since 2006 and checking this forum on accident is the first I've heard of this. :)

I personally have poll creation ability, so I've created a regional poll to see what other members of the region think of the idea ("Re-open Bids" is a term used in NS Sports event hosting roughly meaning we'd like different options presented). I've also linked to this thread on our RMB.


If you all vote in favor and are supportive of receiving a commendation, I would be pleased to work with you all to write up a quality proposal that meets your region's desires. Thank you.


I think you might get some good info if you come over to the RMB and read a couple of things that have been bandied about. My Rt Honorable friend Starblaydia has written a few words that might be of use.
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