NationStates

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:23 am**

Wrapper wrote:Definitely in favor... but that list of friends just strikes me as... wrong. Not saying it’s illegal at this point, but... it just seems... very... what’s the word... wrong.

It is very Yuno though

There are a lot of words in this proposal, but minimal substance. Additionally, at first glance, "Delegate endorsement counts" strikes me as a 4(c) violation.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:30 am**

Jakker wrote:
Wrapper wrote:Definitely in favor... but that list of friends just strikes me as... wrong. Not saying it’s illegal at this point, but... it just seems... very... what’s the word... wrong.

It is very Yuno though

There are a lot of words in this proposal, but minimal substance. Additionally, at first glance, "Delegate endorsement counts" strikes me as a 4(c) violation.

I've covered Yuno's drastic success in TEP, her immense popularity, her work with TSP, TWP, and TNP, her ambassadorships across all GCRs. I ran the resolution by Yuno, and asked her what I was missing, and she said that she thought it was good.

What should I add?

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:36 am**

United Massachusetts wrote:
Jakker wrote:
It is very Yuno though

There are a lot of words in this proposal, but minimal substance. Additionally, at first glance, "Delegate endorsement counts" strikes me as a 4(c) violation.

I've covered Yuno's drastic success in TEP, her immense popularity, her work with TSP, TWP, and TNP, her ambassadorships across all GCRs. I ran the resolution by Yuno, and asked her what I was missing, and she said that she thought it was good.

What should I add?

That is just my personal opinion, so don't feel like you need to follow what I say. I think it's more about the style of writing for me, which again is a personal thought. But again, I think the vibe of the proposal fits Yuno.

The potential 4(c) is something to look at though (Mod perspective).

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:37 am**

The Security Council of this most ~~august~~ october World Assembly,

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 7:38 am**

Aclion wrote:
The Security Council of this most ~~august~~ october World Assembly,

I'll do that.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:18 am**

I was going to try to do this myself, just RL and crap got in my way. Anyways, UM has written a pretty good proposal and I've known Yuno for almost 2 years. She did an amazing job of bringing TEP back from pretty much being dead, and I personally support this whole-heartedly. Lets just hope my region does too.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:28 am**

I look forward to approving this proposal and eventually voting in favor, very well done UM!

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:41 am**

United Massachusetts wrote:
Consular wrote:The author annoys me and I dislike pretty much everything about how it's written.

But whatever, full support because Yuno is worth it.

Aw. Thanks.
Fauxia wrote:Against the mention of UM as prominent

flouts his prominence

I'm not saying you aren't prominent, it's just that mentioning yourself in a commendation reads as a sort-of self-commendation. It's part of the reason I opposed commend MT Army.

"Oh look, this person is so good because I'm so cool and they are friends with me" is how it reads imo.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:52 am**

Fauxia wrote:
United Massachusetts wrote:Aw. Thanks.

flouts his prominence

I'm not saying you aren't prominent, it's just that mentioning yourself in a commendation reads as a sort-of self-commendation. It's part of the reason I opposed commend MT Army.

"Oh look, this person is so good because I'm so cool and they are friends with me" is how it reads imo.

Yuno asked that I be included. I'd be happy to remove myself.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 8:56 am**

Fauxia wrote:
United Massachusetts wrote:Aw. Thanks.

flouts his prominence

I'm not saying you aren't prominent, it's just that mentioning yourself in a commendation reads as a sort-of self-commendation. It's part of the reason I opposed commend MT Army.

"Oh look, this person is so good because I'm so cool and they are friends with me" is how it reads imo.

Yeah, I was about to say that it reads like a self-commend.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:18 am**

Okay, here's the problem. While we do allow limited branding in the SC, please take note of the following under the Branding section of the rulings compendium:

Rulings not included in the Ruleset etc wrote: it is not appropriate to have a list of supporters within your proposal, especially after the operative clause.

Based on all of the information I have, this reads like a list of supporters, and I would have to mark it illegal.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:55 am**

Wrapper wrote:Okay, here's the problem. While we do allow limited branding in the SC, please take note of the following under the Branding section of the rulings compendium:

Rulings not included in the Ruleset etc wrote: it is not appropriate to have a list of supporters within your proposal, especially after the operative clause.

Based on all of the information I have, this reads like a list of supporters, and I would have to mark it illegal.

Best thing is it frees up a lot of character space for other stuff.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 9:59 am**

Further, it created guides for new players and gift baskets of pink things, all the while making a pledge to personally mentor those who sought her assistance

Would referring to new players fall under 4(c)? And the her might be a 4(b).

And the fact that some of your list of people was obviously copy and pasted is a bit upsetting

the East Pacific rose once again to the heights of the indomitable in military, political, and cultural status.

Maybe capitalise the 't'. I know most voters won't make the mistake, but there is a separate region called East Pacific.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 10:04 am**

Drop Your Pants wrote:
Further, it created guides for new players and gift baskets of pink things, all the while making a pledge to personally mentor those who sought her assistance

Would referring to new players fall under 4(c)? And the her might be a 4(b).

And the fact that some of your list of people was obviously copy and pasted is a bit upsetting

the East Pacific rose once again to the heights of the indomitable in military, political, and cultural status.

Maybe capitalise the 't'. I know most voters won't make the mistake, but there is a separate region called East Pacific.

Yes, you are right on the rules issues, and on TEP.

As for the list of people, Yuno provided me the list (I think she has it written down somewhere).

Wrapper wrote:Okay, here's the problem. While we do allow limited branding in the SC, please take note of the following under the Branding section of the rulings compendium:

Rulings not included in the Ruleset etc wrote: it is not appropriate to have a list of supporters within your proposal, especially after the operative clause.

Based on all of the information I have, this reads like a list of supporters, and I would have to mark it illegal.

What if I did this:

The Security Council thanks the following individuals for helping the LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Defender of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific learn, grow, develop, and lead:

That clarifies that it is a thank you to those who made Yuno this good, rather than a supporter list. If not, I have more ideas -- she really wants this in here.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 10:15 am**

In the annals of world history, Queen Yuno, herein referred to as the LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Protector of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific, has undoubtedly played a pivotal role in shaping the trajectory of the East Pacific

Once the smallest superpower of these nation states, the East Pacific rose once again to the heights of the indomitable in military, political, and cultural status.

Regional activity rose to such remarkable levels that several regional members have commented that it is nearly impossible to keep up with all the bubbling activity occurring within the East Pacific -- much of which happen spontaneously.

The LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Protector of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific firmly and steadily upheld the Concordat of the East Pacific while still maintaining suspiciously high levels of popularity among regional citizens.

the West Pacific Armed Forces were revived and trained into the professional organization they are today.

the South Pacific Special Forces experienced increased success in spreading democratic cosmopolitanism to realms far and wide.

Through yet another subsidiary, they served faithfully as Deputy Speaker of the North Pacific’s Assembly for roughly a year.

Baby 't' strikes again.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 10:25 am**

Drop Your Pants wrote:
In the annals of world history, Queen Yuno, herein referred to as the LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Protector of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific, has undoubtedly played a pivotal role in shaping the trajectory of the East Pacific

Once the smallest superpower of these nation states, the East Pacific rose once again to the heights of the indomitable in military, political, and cultural status.

Regional activity rose to such remarkable levels that several regional members have commented that it is nearly impossible to keep up with all the bubbling activity occurring within the East Pacific -- much of which happen spontaneously.

The LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Protector of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific firmly and steadily upheld the Concordat of the East Pacific while still maintaining suspiciously high levels of popularity among regional citizens.

the West Pacific Armed Forces were revived and trained into the professional organization they are today.

the South Pacific Special Forces experienced increased success in spreading democratic cosmopolitanism to realms far and wide.

Through yet another subsidiary, they served faithfully as Deputy Speaker of the North Pacific’s Assembly for roughly a year.

Baby 't' strikes again.

Will fix. Thank you.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:23 am**

The LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Defender of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific made a pledge to personally mentor those who sought their assistance.

Shouldn't that be Protector?

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 11:54 am**

United Massachusetts wrote:What if I did this:

The Security Council thanks the following individuals for helping the LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Defender of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific learn, grow, develop, and lead:

That clarifies that it is a thank you to those who made Yuno this good, rather than a supporter list. If not, I have more ideas -- she really wants this in here.

That's even worse. Firstly, they're nations, not individuals. Secondly, it still reads like a list of supporters. Who would you thank, if not nations that ally with you and support your endeavors and "made Yuno this good"?

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 12:59 pm**

Wrapper wrote:
United Massachusetts wrote:What if I did this:

That clarifies that it is a thank you to those who made Yuno this good, rather than a supporter list. If not, I have more ideas -- she really wants this in here.

That's even worse. Firstly, they're nations, not individuals. Secondly, it still reads like a list of supporters. Who would you thank, if not nations that ally with you and support your endeavors and "made Yuno this good"?

I thought the list of supporters rule referred to lists of the proposal's supporters, not people who have "supported" the target nation.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:49 pm**

Aclion wrote:
Wrapper wrote:That's even worse. Firstly, they're nations, not individuals. Secondly, it still reads like a list of supporters. Who would you thank, if not nations that ally with you and support your endeavors and "made Yuno this good"?

I thought the list of supporters rule referred to lists of the proposal's supporters, not people who have "supported" the target nation.

^ This

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 4:59 pm**

United Massachusetts wrote:
Aclion wrote:I thought the list of supporters rule referred to lists of the proposal's supporters, not people who have "supported" the target nation.

^ This

Then they deserve a place in the forum thread, not the proposal body. I'm with Wrapper on this. Leaving those in makes this a non-starter.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:23 pm**

United Massachusetts wrote:
Aclion wrote:
The Security Council of this most ~~august~~ october World Assembly,

I'll do that.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:24 pm**

Funny and I like Queen Yuno. I am For!

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:27 pm**

Frisbeeteria wrote:
United Massachusetts wrote:^ This

Then they deserve a place in the forum thread, not the proposal body. I'm with Wrapper on this. Leaving those in makes this a non-starter.

Sorry if this topic is already over-talked about, I finally just caught up. To clarify: proposals mentioning than 10 nation names is illegal no matter how it's written?

I just thought it'd be interesting/radical/new to try (plus exciting for not-as-known players who'd otherwise not get mentioned in a WA proposal ever.) Thanks for visiting this thread.

Posted: **Sat Oct 06, 2018 5:47 pm**

The dismay clause doesn't really make much sense besides. Why are we dismayed that the nation we are commending has a large number of allies? Should be something like.

The Security Council further recognises that the LOLigarch and Sovereign Lord Protector of the Realms of the Eastern Pacific has consistently acted as a champion of international cooperation in every field, working alongside such illustrious nations as... dah dahdah dah...

Added advantage being that it shifts focus from the nations listed to Yuno.

Frisbeeteria wrote:
United Massachusetts wrote:^ This

Then they deserve a place in the forum thread, not the proposal body.

I hope you don't intent to act on that feeling in a mod capacity. It would be quit strange to have a precedent that says "Branding is allowed, unless Fris feels it is undeserved"

Consular wrote:
United Massachusetts wrote:I'll do that.

NationStates

[DRAFT] Commend Queen Yuno