[DRAFT] Commend Tim-Opolis

by **Vulturret** » Wed Feb 28, 2018 12:05 pm

Feux wrote:Can someone please put a space between [Draft] and Commend

Sure. As a side note, I promise I'll work on this sometime soon. Been RL busy... >:(

by **Vulturret** » Wed Feb 28, 2018 12:08 pm

Done.

by **Vulturret** » Thu Mar 08, 2018 11:51 am

Updated to version 6. What do y'all think?

by **Fauxia** » Thu Mar 08, 2018 3:19 pm

I think you only need one hyperlink per entity hyperlinked, besides Tim-Opolis, which should be hyperlinked the first time it is mentioned and should be when it is officially commended at the end.

I don't like using "influential" twice in the same line (the one about Spiritus).

On the roster line, you forgot a space after Tim-Opolis.

The line about TGW and defender is a bit ambiguous. I'm not sure you need the line about "via its associate, Tim"

Keep working on this, Vulty, but I think it's getting pretty close now

by **Vulturret** » Thu Mar 08, 2018 6:21 pm

Fauxia wrote:I think you only need one hyperlink per entity hyperlinked, besides Tim-Opolis, which should be hyperlinked the first time it is mentioned and should be when it is officially commended at the end.

I don't like using "influential" twice in the same line (the one about Spiritus).

On the roster line, you forgot a space after Tim-Opolis.

The line about TGW and defender is a bit ambiguous. I'm not sure you need the line about "via its associate, Tim"

Keep working on this, Vulty, but I think it's getting pretty close now

Will work on this tonight.

[DRAFT] Commend Tim-Opolis

Who is online