[PASSED] Commend Texas

[Ever-Wandering Souls]

TDF existed before January 2004, but that was 0probably when they started keeping records. TDF was around before the defense of 10ki, and before TRR created its military. Osiris may have been created in 2011, but it wasn't until early 2012 that TITO & TDF deployed to safeguard the region. I gave 4 days for this stuff to be worked out >_<

4 days is fast for the SC.

[Sil Dorsett]

international catastrophe in 2004 which lost many regions their endorsements

Something about this line doesn't sit well with me. Though you've referred to an out-of-character technical error creatively as an international catastrophe, the part about losing many regions their endorsements makes it feel as though you're referring to the out-of-character game mechanic. Is that an R4(c) violation? Maybe some other creative spin could clear it up, like "international catastrophe in 2004 in which countless nations revoked their endorsements of each other..." or something to that effect, and then work the rest of the clause around that.

[Lenlyvit]

Alright, lets get down to fixing this then.

[Lenlyvit]

Alright, I've made some tweaks as well as some grammatical fixes.

[Lenlyvit]

Fixes have been made and I re-submitted it.

[Drasnia]

Fixes have been made and I re-submitted it.

So people tell you that 4 days wasn't long enough after you've submitted, you withdraw it to make a fix, then immediately resubmit it? -_-;;

[Lenlyvit]

Fixes have been made and I re-submitted it.

So people tell you that 4 days wasn't long enough after you've submitted, you withdraw it to make a fix, then immediately resubmit it? -_-;;

Well, yeah. The fixes were minor and all the info is still good. I don't see why not re-submit it after making the changes Unibot suggested as well as the other fix.

[Guy]

Osiris may have been created in 2011, but it wasn't until early 2012 that TITO & TDF deployed to safeguard the region.

I do not believe that is correct, unless we are thinking about different deployments.

TITO deployed to Osiris before its first update to secure the region, and held elections to determine its first government. This was all in October 2011.

I am not aware of any other deployment by TITO with the purpose of "allowing the community to choose their own government without the threat of outside pressure and the possible destruction of the community before it could decide its fate." Indeed, that can only describe the October 2011 deployment.

[Lenlyvit]

Osiris may have been created in 2011, but it wasn't until early 2012 that TITO & TDF deployed to safeguard the region.

I do not believe that is correct, unless we are thinking about different deployments.

TITO deployed to Osiris before its first update to secure the region, and held elections to determine its first government. This was all in October 2011.

I am not aware of any other deployment by TITO with the purpose of "allowing the community to choose their own government without the threat of outside pressure and the possible destruction of the community before it could decide its fate." Indeed, that can only describe the October 2011 deployment.

Thank you Guy, you are right. I fixed it, and to Unibot I apologize for being wrong as well. I'm not going to submit it again until Friday, as I don't want to start making people mad at me for doing it too many times. If anyone has anymore suggestions, or fixes, please post here so I can make them before re-submitting.

[Nakari]

I get the feeling it may take slightly longer than another 4 days to get enough feedback... but here are some grammar edits to make it sound nicer and clearer.

The Security Council,

Noting that Texas was formed barely one month after the world was created by the gods above, making it one of the oldest places in existence and among a part of the first 100 regions.

"Part of (number)" just... does not sound correct.

Acknowledging that shortly after its founding Texas formed an alliance with two other communities, The Homeland and Wysteria, also known as the Triumvirate, that and still exists to this day, making it the longest lasting alliance in the world.

"And still exists today" would refer to Texas, not to the alliance. Plus inserted comma.

Thanking Texas for its dedication to the protection of others through its military, the Texas Defense Force, which is one of the oldest extant militaries dedicated to that goal in the history of the world, having protected other communities for 14 years.

I messed around with the order of clauses here, because you say "making it" three times in the past three sentences and it's a little repetitive.

The defense of the 10000 Islands in November 2003, where they helped the native community beat the outside forces of the Empire of Power to secure the Delegate position by one vote. This allowed 10000 Islands to live on and eventually form TITO, the Ten Thousand Islands Treaty Organization, which still defends others to this day alongside their allies the Texas Defense Force.

I don't think 10000 Islands needs the 'the'. It seems inconsistent with how other regions are written. I switched the order of "by one vote" and "to secure" to make it clearer (since "by one vote" seems to directly apply more to securing the delegacy than to beating).

The liberations of Hell, Philippines, India, and Italia from oppressing forces numbering no less than 40 enemies each between 2003 and 2007.

At least, I think this is what it should read. Defeating 40 raiders over 4 years isn't that impressive

The three 3 liberations of Lazarus, most notable of which was the liberation from the New Lazarene Order in 2015, and the four 4 liberations of The Rejected Realms, most notable of which was the liberation from The New Inquisition in 2012.

Admittedly I'm not sure how well this applies to WA resolutions, but generally in writing numbers under 10 are written as words.

The deployment of their forces to Osiris in after the creation of the sinker region in October 2011 by the gods above, allowing the community to choose their own government without the threat of outside pressure and the possible destruction of the community before it could decide its fate.

I guess this was just left over?

Believing that the community of Texas should also be recognized for the contributions it has made to the world as a whole, with eight 8 passed General Assembly resolutions as well as three 3 passed historical resolutions in the World Assembly's predecessor and the creation of multiple Issues that plague nations everywhere multiple issues brought to the attention of leaders everywhere.

Plaguing nations everywhere seems way too negative to be a commendation, and anyway it's not like Texas personally created problems in other nations - they brought them to the leader's attention to be solved.

That's all I could find right now, but I'm sure if you leave it up longer there'll be plenty of contributions to help polish.

[Ransium]

I do not believe that is correct, unless we are thinking about different deployments.

TITO deployed to Osiris before its first update to secure the region, and held elections to determine its first government. This was all in October 2011.

I am not aware of any other deployment by TITO with the purpose of "allowing the community to choose their own government without the threat of outside pressure and the possible destruction of the community before it could decide its fate." Indeed, that can only describe the October 2011 deployment.

Thank you Guy, you are right. I fixed it, and to Unibot I apologize for being wrong as well. I'm not going to submit it again until Friday, as I don't want to start making people mad at me for doing it too many times. If anyone has anymore suggestions, or fixes, please post here so I can make them before re-submitting.

Can you please wait longer, at least a week or two? It’s starting to get spammy with the campaign messages.

[Consular]

You're doing that thing where you are being impatient and impulsive again Lenly.

NS moves slowly. Let this sit for a bit. There is no need whatsoever to rush.

[Lenlyvit]

Thank you Guy, you are right. I fixed it, and to Unibot I apologize for being wrong as well. I'm not going to submit it again until Friday, as I don't want to start making people mad at me for doing it too many times. If anyone has anymore suggestions, or fixes, please post here so I can make them before re-submitting.

Can you please wait longer, at least a week or two? It’s starting to get spammy with the campaign messages.

I was thinking that Ransium, yeah.

You're doing that thing where you are being impatient and impulsive again Lenly.

NS moves slowly. Let this sit for a bit. There is no need whatsoever to rush.

Like what Consular said, I was in too much of a rush and too sure and too cocky. I'm sorry for wasting the time of the delegates on this, and there's a chance I may just drop this and let someone else do it after what I did.

Edit: ill keep working on it.

[The Noble Thatcherites]

I'm sorry for wasting the time of the delegates on this, and there's a chance I may just drop this and let someone else do it after what I did.

There’s no need to do that. Just take the criticism and let this proposal sit. Mine failed at the voting stage but it sat on the forums for two months before it actually went to vote. Bureaucracy is a slow thing, Lenny.

[Tim-Opolis]

I don't know enough about Texas's history to comment effectively on that, and Nakari covered most of the grammar I saw, but it looks mostly solid aside from that.

I'd echo everyone who stresses patience for sure, though. We're slower moving than the General Assembly, and there's nothing wrong with waiting a week or two to accumulate all the commentary and drafting help that you need for your proposal.

Convinced that it is important to the mission of the Security Council to recognize and honor pillars of the NationStates community especially those demonstrating long term commitment to active engagement with nations.

My sole concern is this clause. I don't really see what it adds to the proposal as a whole, as there's no substantive details about Texas itself within it. I don't hate it, I'm just confused by its purpose.

[Vaplania]

Convinced that it is important to the mission of the Security Council to recognize and honor pillars of the NationStates community especially those demonstrating long term commitment to active engagement with nations.

Couldn't this be a rule violation?

[Terra Voltera]

Convinced that it is important to the mission of the Security Council to recognize and honor pillars of the NationStates community especially those demonstrating long term commitment to active engagement with nations.

Couldn't this be a rule violation?

How is that a rule violation?

[The Noble Thatcherites]

Couldn't this be a rule violation?

How is that a rule violation?

IDK. Perhaps change 'NationStates community' to 'the worlds' community' or 'the interregional community'. Something less OOC.

[Lenlyvit]

I don't know enough about Texas's history to comment effectively on that, and Nakari covered most of the grammar I saw, but it looks mostly solid aside from that.

I'd echo everyone who stresses patience for sure, though. We're slower moving than the General Assembly, and there's nothing wrong with waiting a week or two to accumulate all the commentary and drafting help that you need for your proposal.

Convinced that it is important to the mission of the Security Council to recognize and honor pillars of the NationStates community especially those demonstrating long term commitment to active engagement with nations.

My sole concern is this clause. I don't really see what it adds to the proposal as a whole, as there's no substantive details about Texas itself within it. I don't hate it, I'm just confused by its purpose.

That was URI's idea as a kind of closing statement to tie the whole thing together. If anyone has a better way, ill be glad to change it

[Onderkelkia]

and the 4 liberations of The Rejected Realms, most notable of which was the liberation from The New Inquisition.

This is inaccurate. The New Inquisition's invasion of The Rejected Realms was a 1-update mission and it was planned as such from the outset, before any external intervention. TNI withdrew prior to the update when the FRA government regained control. Indeed, we announced our intention to withdraw in the World Factbook Entry I put up after we took TRR. You can confirm what happened by examining the regional history of The Rejected Realms, which records that Collector of Souls was elected Delegate without saying that they ended Oud-Heverlee Leuven's reign (which it would say if Oud-Heverlee Leuven had still been in the Delegate seat at the point of the new Delegate's election). Ending the mission before the next update was TNI's announced plan. There was no 'liberation' (much less a notable 'liberation') of TRR in February 2012 because the operation had concluded before the region could be 'liberated'. The New Inquisition Armed Forces completed our mission in The Rejected Realms precisely when we planned to do so and there was no 'liberation' involved.

[Unibot III]

and the 4 liberations of The Rejected Realms, most notable of which was the liberation from The New Inquisition.

This is inaccurate. The New Inquisition's invasion of The Rejected Realms was a 1-update mission and it was planned as such from the outset, before any external intervention. TNI withdrew prior to the update when the FRA government regained control. Indeed, we announced our intention to withdraw in the World Factbook Entry I put up after we took TRR. You can confirm what happened by examining the regional history of The Rejected Realms, which records that Collector of Souls was elected Delegate without saying that they ended Oud-Heverlee Leuven's reign (which it would say if Oud-Heverlee Leuven had still been in the Delegate seat at the point of the new Delegate's election). Ending the mission before the next update was TNI's announced plan. There was no 'liberation' (much less a notable 'liberation') of TRR in February 2012 because the operation had concluded before the region could be 'liberated'. The New Inquisition Armed Forces completed our mission in The Rejected Realms precisely when we planned to do so and there was no 'liberation' involved.

This is inaccurate, Oud-Heverlee Leuven had lost the plurality of endorsements to Souls very soon after the invasion and well before Leuven resigned. Military support thus necessitated a retreat to avoid further embarrassment. The liberation of TRR happened before the next update occurred, a testament to the Rejected Realms’ wide field of support and allies, the stubbornness of rejects, and imperialist incompetence. What was a footnote in the history of Capitalist Paradise, Europe, and Taijitu, among others, is still advertised on its WFE as the “crowning” achievement of the New Inquistion.

[Onderkelkia]

This is inaccurate, Oud-Heverlee Leuven had lost the plurality of endorsements to Souls very soon after the invasion and well before Leuven resigned.

Nothing in my above post is inconsistent with the former native delegate increasing their endorsement level above the Delegate. That is not a 'liberation'. A 'liberation' occurs when the Delegacy changes hands. A 'liberation' cannot occur if there is no invading party to 'liberate' the region from.

Military support thus necessitated a retreat to avoid further embarrassment.

TNI had no intention of holding the region and announced that the invasion would be over by the next update on the WFE from the outset. Subsequent movements made no difference. TNI executed its mission according to its pre-conceived timetable.

If you're saying that TNI was the party embarrassed by the invasion of The Rejected Realms, then your perspective is contorted beyond all reason.

The liberation of TRR happened before the next update occurred

On the contrary, a 'liberation' occurs when counter-invading forces seize the Delegacy back from invading forces. No such thing happened.

What was a footnote in the history of Capitalist Paradise, Europe, and Taijitu, among others, is still advertised on its WFE as the “crowning” achievement of the New Inquistion.

It is recognised by many more than TNI as a significant achievement to this day. However, it is just one among many examples of TNI's military and diplomatic prowess throughout 2006 to 2015. Gameplay politics (especially in the sinkers) is still being shaped today by the impact of The New Inquisition.

[Consular]

I mean, it's all well to say you never intended to hold it more than one update, when we all know you couldn't have held it even if you wanted to.

[Onderkelkia]

I mean, it's all well to say you never intended to hold it more than one update, when we all know you couldn't have held it even if you wanted to.

So what? A multi-update occupation undoubtedly would have been an added achievement, but TNI never aimed for that and was quite content with the victory gained from invading the region in the first instance. An invasion of The Rejected Realms (the first which involved ejecting exclusively military units rather than native residents) is still a significant accomplishment. If it was irrelevant, then we would not all be here discussing it nearly six years later and the supposed 'liberation' (which never happened) would not be cited in the draft commendation as the "most notable" of 4 TRR 'liberations' involving Texas.

[Consular]

You never aimed for that because you knew it wasn't possible.

Basically, you pre-emptively admitted defeat and withdrew so you could claim a sort of win before you were forcibly removed. What I'm trying to say is it's a bit silly to say you voluntarily withdrew when in reality you had no choice in the matter.

I never said it was insignificant so not sure why you're ranting to me about that.