[DEFEATED] Commend Gay (Version 4)

[Greater Cesnica]

The World Assembly,

Observing the duty of this esteemed Assembly to recognize the achievements of nations and regions that have made outstanding contributions to the international community and made exceptional achievements,

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 14 years,

Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a position that they have held since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)- an alliance that had served to protect founderless regions from the tyranny of raider organizations for over 10 years,

Recognizing that Gay has managed to maintain a significant number of member nations since 2007, estimated at holding between 90-300 member nations, an amazing achievement for any region to hold, much less a region that has extremely bold and progressive ideology like Gay,

Applauding Gay for being the first region to have championed for and supported LGBTQ+ rights, and also for being the first region to have a regional constitution that supported the rights and freedoms of the LGBTQ+ community, and nations which are Pro-LGBTQ+,

Humbled by the fact that Gay drafted and pushed through the first resolution in international law regarding LGBTQ+ Rights, titled 'Gay Rights', a resolution that was among the first resolutions ever authored, and is, in fact, a historical resolution- written and passed before the creation of the current World Assembly,

Impressed by Gay's unwavering commitment to its member states and population in spite of resistance from other nations and regions that do not condone the safety and rights of LGBTQ+ nations,

Further Impressed by Gay's resilience to raider organizations, who have never succeeded in annexing it, in spite of Gay being a major target for raider groups and its position as a defender region and FRA member,

Aware that Gay also provides a welcoming environment for non-LGBTQ+ nations, and does not discriminate against any orientation, race, and background, a fact that further re-affirms Gay's welcome and cheerful environment that seeks to improve world peace and welfare,

Furthermore Aware that Gay's tireless and selfless quest to champion for the rights of a minority group and be an active defender region at the same time- whilst fighting off hostility and opposition from multiple sides- constitutes achievement and contribution that is not expected of a normal region, and therefore provides merit for Gay to be granted the honor of a Commendation,

Hereby Commends Gay for outstanding performance and resilience in the name of human rights and international peace.

The World Assembly,

Observing the duty of this esteemed Assembly to recognize the achievements of nations and regions that have made outstanding contributions to the international community and made exceptional achievements,

Noting that Gay has been a safe haven of LGBTQ+ member nations, and has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 9 years,

Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a status that they have kept since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the FRA (Founderless Regions Alliance)- an alliance that has served to protect Founderless Regions from the tyranny of raider organizations,

Recognizing that Gay has managed to maintain a significant number of member nations despite its status as an LGBTQ+ Region, a status that many nations do not wish to be associated with,

Applauding Gay for being the first region to have championed for and supported LGBTQ+ rights, and also for being the first region to have a regional constitution that supported the rights and freedoms of the LGBTQ+ community, and nations which are Pro-LGBTQ+,

Amazed by Gay's unwavering commitment to its member states and population in spite of resistance from other nations and regions that did not condone the safety and rights of LGBTQ+ nations,

Furthermore Amazed by Gay's resilience to raider organizations, who have never succeeded in annexing it, in spite of [region]Gay being a major target for raider groups and its status as a defender region and FRA member,

Aware that Gay also provides a welcoming environment for non-LGBTQ+ nations, and does not discriminate against any orientation, race, and background- a fact that further re-affirms Gay's welcome and cheerful environment that seeks to improve world peace and welfare,

Furthermore Aware that Gay's tireless and selfless quest to champion for the rights of a minority group and be an active defender region at the same time- whilst fighting off hostility and opposition from multiple sides- constitutes achievement and contribution that is not expected of a normal region, and therefore provides merit for Gay to be granted the honor of a Commendation,

Calling Upon the esteemed members of the World Assembly to grant the honor of a Commendation upon this region,

Hereby Commends Gay for outstanding performance and resilience for the benefit of the World Community.

The World Assembly,

Observing the duty of this esteemed Assembly to recognize the achievements of nations and regions that have made outstanding contributions to the international community and made exceptional achievements,

Noting that Gay has been a safe haven of LGBTQ+ member nations, and has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 9 years,

Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a status that they have kept since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the FRA (Founderless Regions Alliance)- an alliance that has served to protect Founderless Regions from the tyranny of raider organizations,

Recognizing that Gay has managed to maintain a significant number of member nations despite its status as an LGBTQ+ Region, a status that many nations do not wish to be associated with,

Applauding Gay for being the first region to have championed for and supported LGBTQ+ rights, and also for being the first region to have a regional constitution that supported the rights and freedoms of the LGBTQ+ community, and nations which are Pro-LGBTQ+,

Humbled by the fact that Gay spawned the first legislature in international law regarding LGBTQ+ Rights, titled 'Gay Rights'- a resolution that was among the first resolutions ever authored, and is in fact a historical resolution- written and passed before the creation of the current World Assembly,

Amazed by Gay's unwavering commitment to its member states and population in spite of resistance from other nations and regions that did not condone the safety and rights of LGBTQ+ nations,

Furthermore Amazed by Gay's resilience to raider organizations, who have never succeeded in annexing it, in spite of [region]Gay being a major target for raider groups and its status as a defender region and FRA member,

Aware that Gay also provides a welcoming environment for non-LGBTQ+ nations, and does not discriminate against any orientation, race, and background- a fact that further re-affirms Gay's welcome and cheerful environment that seeks to improve world peace and welfare,

Furthermore Aware that Gay's tireless and selfless quest to champion for the rights of a minority group and be an active defender region at the same time- whilst fighting off hostility and opposition from multiple sides- constitutes achievement and contribution that is not expected of a normal region, and therefore provides merit for Gay to be granted the honor of a Commendation,

Calling Upon the esteemed members of the World Assembly to grant the honor of a Commendation upon this region,

Hereby commends Gay for outstanding performance and resilience for the benefit of the World Community.

The World Assembly,

Observing the duty of this esteemed Assembly to recognize the achievements of nations and regions that have made outstanding contributions to the international community and made exceptional achievements,

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 14 years,

Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a position that they have held since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)- an alliance that had served to protect founderless regions from the tyranny of raider organizations for over 10 years,

Recognizing that Gay has managed to maintain a significant number of member nations since 2007, estimated at holding between 90-300 member nations, an amazing achievement for any region to hold, much less a region that has extremely bold and progressive ideology like Gay,

Applauding Gay for being the first region to have championed for and supported LGBTQ+ rights, and also for being the first region to have a regional constitution that supported the rights and freedoms of the LGBTQ+ community, and nations which are Pro-LGBTQ+,

Humbled by the fact that Gay drafted and pushed through the first resolution in international law regarding LGBTQ+ Rights, titled 'Gay Rights', a resolution that was among the first resolutions ever authored, and is, in fact, a historical resolution- written and passed before the creation of the current World Assembly,

Impressed by Gay's unwavering commitment to its member states and population in spite of resistance from other nations and regions that do not condone the safety and rights of LGBTQ+ nations,

Further Impressed by Gay's resilience to raider organizations, who have never succeeded in annexing it, in spite of Gay being a major target for raider groups and its position as a defender region and FRA member,

Aware that Gay also provides a welcoming environment for non-LGBTQ+ nations, and does not discriminate against any orientation, race, and background, a fact that further re-affirms Gay's welcome and cheerful environment that seeks to improve world peace and welfare,

Furthermore Aware that Gay's tireless and selfless quest to champion for the rights of a minority group and be an active defender region at the same time- whilst fighting off hostility and opposition from multiple sides- constitutes achievement and contribution that is not expected of a normal region, and therefore provides merit for Gay to be granted the honor of a Commendation,

Hereby commends Gay for outstanding performance and resilience for the benefit of the World Community.

[Greater Cesnica]

Version 2 is out! I added the 'Humbled' Clause to acknowledge Gay's impact in the World Assembly as a resolution author.

[Wrapper]

Noting that Gay has been a safe haven of LGBTQ+ member nations, and has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 9 years,

I'm not sure I get the concept of a "safe haven" for nations. Is there a better way to word this entire clause?

[Greater Cesnica]

Noting that Gay has been a safe haven of LGBTQ+ member nations, and has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 9 years,

I'm not sure I get the concept of a "safe haven" for nations. Is there a better way to word this entire clause?

I knew there was something iffy about that wording. I'll fix it. Thanks!

[Greater Cesnica]

Version 3. I decided to reword the Noting clause to add emphasis on the 'population' of a nation. I also increased the '9 years' figure to '12 years.' This is because I found I could trace back Gay's history back further reliably.

[Wrapper]

I'm not sure I get the concept of a "safe haven" for nations. Is there a better way to word this entire clause?

I think you missed my point. I see no reason why an entire nation would seek a safe haven.

Do you even need the first half of that clause? Why not:

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 12 years,

[Lanian Empire]

I'm not sure I get the concept of a "safe haven" for nations. Is there a better way to word this entire clause?

I think you missed my point. I see no reason why an entire nation would seek a safe haven.

Do you even need the first half of that clause? Why not:

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 12 years,

Would it be legal to say "peoples"? It's not referring to players, but rather the people inside these nations.

[Marilyn Manson Freaks]

Interesting proposal! I hope it passes! I once tried to commend Gay a while back on one of my nations, but the proposal required lots of my time. I abandoned it.

[Greater Cesnica]

I'm not sure I get the concept of a "safe haven" for nations. Is there a better way to word this entire clause?

I think you missed my point. I see no reason why an entire nation would seek a safe haven.

Do you even need the first half of that clause? Why not:

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 12 years,

I'm gonna try to edit this from my phone. Im at the gym right now.

[Greater Cesnica]

I think you missed my point. I see no reason why an entire nation would seek a safe haven.

Do you even need the first half of that clause? Why not:

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 12 years,

Would it be legal to say "peoples"? It's not referring to players, but rather the people inside these nations.

Wrapper has a better idea.. When I get back home ill try to incorporate something at home.

[Consular]

I see you still have an unhealthy obsession with unnecessary hyperlinks.

[Fauxia]

I see you still have an unhealthy obsession with unnecessary hyperlinks.

Not a bad obsession. For example, you could have an obsession with taking down The CAIN... oh wait.

[Greater Cesnica]

I see you still have an unhealthy obsession with unnecessary hyperlinks.

I shall remove the extra hyperlinks.

[Greater Cesnica]

I see you still have an unhealthy obsession with unnecessary hyperlinks.

Not a bad obsession. For example, you could have an obsession with taking down The CAIN... oh wait.

I removed the hyperlinks.

[Abhichandra]

Right now, all I have are small suggestions.

The World Assembly,
Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a status that they have kept since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the FRA (Founderless Regions Alliance)- an alliance that has served to protect Founderless Regions from the tyranny of raider organizations,

Personally, I would switch FRA and Founderless Regions Alliance; IE:

...which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)...

Also,

Founderless Regions

should both be lowercase.

Hereby Commends Gay for outstanding performance and resilience for the benefit of the World Community.

'Commends' should be lowercase.

That's it for now, I'll take a closer look later.

[Consular]

You also still double post like a madman. D:

I'll have a closer look at the draft later but no immediate objections.

[Greater Cesnica]

You also still double post like a madman. D:

I'll have a closer look at the draft later but no immediate objections.

I cri evrytiem. Also I'm gonna fix the grammar errors.

EDIT: Done.

[Tinhampton]

...which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)- an alliance that has served to protect founderless regions from the tyranny of raider organizations...

Find a more recent example. Funkadelia dropped a big fat nuke on the FRA back in October.

[Greater Cesnica]

...which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)- an alliance that has served to protect founderless regions from the tyranny of raider organizations...

Find a more recent example. Funkadelia dropped a big fat nuke on the FRA back in October.

I actually consulted Funkadelia about this. I also did further research. I have concluded that mentioning the FRA would be a prudent move, as it's history alone and Gay's participation is enough to merit mention in a commendation.

[United Massachusetts]

Total support

[Fauxia]

Total support

Of course...

[Greater Cesnica]

Total support

Thank you! Anything else I could add?

[Greater Cesnica]

So I've decided to submit this on August 24, rather than on August 30. This is because of personal schedule limitations. Hope you guys understand!

[Consular]

Observing the duty of this esteemed Assembly to recognize the achievements of nations and regions that have made outstanding contributions to the international community and made exceptional achievements,

This line is basically pointless filler. We know what the SC is.

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 12 years,

Very non specific.

Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a status that they have kept since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)- an alliance that had served to protect founderless regions from the tyranny of raider organizations for over 10 years,

Not how I'd word it personally. Focus less on what they say their "status" is, and more on what they actually do.

Recognizing that Gay has managed to maintain a significant number of member nations despite its status as an LGBTQ+ Region, a status that many nations do not wish to be associated with,

I'm uncomfortable with the implication behind this. I think most regions don't actually have significant issue with LGBT rights.

Applauding Gay for being the first region to have championed for and supported LGBTQ+ rights, and also for being the first region to have a regional constitution that supported the rights and freedoms of the LGBTQ+ community, and nations which are Pro-LGBTQ+,

Ok.

Humbled by the fact that Gay spawned the first legislature in international law regarding LGBTQ+ Rights, titled 'Gay Rights'- a resolution that was among the first resolutions ever authored, and is in fact a historical resolution- written and passed before the creation of the current World Assembly,

Spawned the first legislature? I get what you're trying to say but try again please.

Also, use of "-" in formal writing is lazy.

Amazed by Gay's unwavering commitment to its member states and population in spite of resistance from other nations and regions that did not condone the safety and rights of LGBTQ+ nations,

Examples of this?

I kind of feel like this actually says nothing that isn't covered by the "championing rights" clause. But otherwise ok.

Furthermore Amazed by Gay's resilience to raider organizations, who have never succeeded in annexing it, in spite of Gay being a major target for raider groups and its status as a defender region and FRA member,

I mean it has a founder. It's never been in any danger.

Aware that Gay also provides a welcoming environment for non-LGBTQ+ nations, and does not discriminate against any orientation, race, and background- a fact that further re-affirms Gay's welcome and cheerful environment that seeks to improve world peace and welfare,

Yet another clause that I feel like largely says nothing. Otherwise ok.

Another lazy "-".

Furthermore Aware that Gay's tireless and selfless quest to champion for the rights of a minority group and be an active defender region at the same time- whilst fighting off hostility and opposition from multiple sides- constitutes achievement and contribution that is not expected of a normal region, and therefore provides merit for Gay to be granted the honor of a Commendation,

You've already said they're defender and that they champion rights. Saying them together is hardly an excuse for another clause.

Calling Upon the esteemed members of the World Assembly to grant the honor of a Commendation upon this region,

You already did the lovely summary filler ending in the above clause, you don't need two.

[Greater Cesnica]

Observing the duty of this esteemed Assembly to recognize the achievements of nations and regions that have made outstanding contributions to the international community and made exceptional achievements,

This line is basically pointless filler. We know what the SC is.

Noting that Gay has campaigned for and protected LGBTQ+ rights for over 12 years,

Very non specific.

Admiring Gay's status as a Defender Region, a status that they have kept since their inception, and their constant quest to help fight off raiders from fellow regions, which can be seen from their membership in the Founderless Regions Alliance (FRA)- an alliance that had served to protect founderless regions from the tyranny of raider organizations for over 10 years,

Not how I'd word it personally. Focus less on what they say their "status" is, and more on what they actually do.

Recognizing that Gay has managed to maintain a significant number of member nations despite its status as an LGBTQ+ Region, a status that many nations do not wish to be associated with,

I'm uncomfortable with the implication behind this. I think most regions don't actually have significant issue with LGBT rights.

Applauding Gay for being the first region to have championed for and supported LGBTQ+ rights, and also for being the first region to have a regional constitution that supported the rights and freedoms of the LGBTQ+ community, and nations which are Pro-LGBTQ+,

Ok.

Humbled by the fact that Gay spawned the first legislature in international law regarding LGBTQ+ Rights, titled 'Gay Rights'- a resolution that was among the first resolutions ever authored, and is in fact a historical resolution- written and passed before the creation of the current World Assembly,

Spawned the first legislature? I get what you're trying to say but try again please.

Also, use of "-" in formal writing is lazy.

Amazed by Gay's unwavering commitment to its member states and population in spite of resistance from other nations and regions that did not condone the safety and rights of LGBTQ+ nations,

Examples of this?

I kind of feel like this actually says nothing that isn't covered by the "championing rights" clause. But otherwise ok.

Furthermore Amazed by Gay's resilience to raider organizations, who have never succeeded in annexing it, in spite of Gay being a major target for raider groups and its status as a defender region and FRA member,

I mean it has a founder. It's never been in any danger.

Aware that Gay also provides a welcoming environment for non-LGBTQ+ nations, and does not discriminate against any orientation, race, and background- a fact that further re-affirms Gay's welcome and cheerful environment that seeks to improve world peace and welfare,

Yet another clause that I feel like largely says nothing. Otherwise ok.

Another lazy "-".

Furthermore Aware that Gay's tireless and selfless quest to champion for the rights of a minority group and be an active defender region at the same time- whilst fighting off hostility and opposition from multiple sides- constitutes achievement and contribution that is not expected of a normal region, and therefore provides merit for Gay to be granted the honor of a Commendation,

You've already said they're defender and that they champion rights. Saying them together is hardly an excuse for another clause.

Calling Upon the esteemed members of the World Assembly to grant the honor of a Commendation upon this region,

You already did the lovely summary filler ending in the above clause, you don't need two.

Alright... Here we go:

• Patched 'Admiring' Clause.
• Removed the implication from 'Recognizing' Clause while patching it.
• Patched 'Humbled' Clause for grammar errors, formatting errors, and rephrased it.
• Fixed very minor grammar errors in the 'Amazed' and 'Furthermore Amazed' Clauses. I have decided to not remove or majorly alter them.
• Removed the "-" from the 'Aware' Clause.
• Removed the 'Calling Upon' Clause altogether.

AAND that's it.