[DRAFT] Condemn Keshiland

[Paquador]

Condemn Keshiland

A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region.

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: Keshiland | Proposed by: Paquador
Description: The Security Council:

The World Assembly;

ANNOYED by the bombardment of numerous proposals from Keshiland to the General Assembly in a short space,

HORRIFIED by the poor standard of the proposals, even with regards to the basics of writing resolutions such as grammar and correct language,

DISTRAUGHT over the spamming of low quality communications from Keshiland to numerous delegations,

DISAPPOINTED by the antagonistic attitude and ignorance of Keshiland towards numerous other member states who have made many quality and astute suggestions towards the proposals,

ANGRY at the lack of public discussion given to proposals before being submitted and the distasteful attempts made to avoid public scrutiny and the correct process for submitting proposals,

NOTING the anger of the ambassadors over the damage done to the WA reputation,

FURTHER NOTING the abject failure of all of the submitted proposals,

DISMAYED over the disregard shown towards the basic functionalities of the World Assembly,

EXTREMELY CONCERNED that, during the debate of their attempted repeal of GAR#2 "Rights And Duties Of WA States", Keshiland used the repeal as a vehicle to strip member states of their national sovereignty as well as using the platform to promote other campaigns.

FURTHER DISMAYED that during the long-running debate on repealing GAR #2, Keshiland's ambassador to the WA, Sackeshi, was on record as:

• painting anti-repeal nations as being part of the WA establishment;
• threatening to turn Essu Beti, an opponent, into "a water park", and calling their ambassador a "swamp man";
• proclaiming that "if your against me you will suffer!" [sic], and then afterwards sending guards to handcuff the ambassador of The Atlae Isles;
• saying "to hell with sovereignty its time for the WA to become the all powerful!";
• promising "a huge campaign argument for why people should vote yes" which turned out to read little more than "This legislation has hindered the WA for far to long"[sic], as many other ambassadors could testify;

URGES Keshiland to use this as an opportunity to change course in order to became a productive member of the international community.

Hereby Condemns Keshiland.

[Malachor VIII]

especially in regards to grammer and correct English,

I don't think you should include this because English might not be their native language. English might be a second language or one they are currently learning.

[Drasnia]

This seems like kinda tit-for-tat/kneejerk reaction-y to recent events in the GA. Come back in a few months or a year if he keeps up his attitude. Otherwise, I don't think you'll find much support for this.

[Keshiland]

This will fail as my nation is better with civil rights political freedom and the economy. But hey its worth a try.

Also FYI 20% of the population struggles with spelling due to differing levels of dyslexia.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Oh good grief, no.

Also:

HORRIFIED by the poor standard of the proposals especially in regards to grammer and correct English,

Referencing English could be construed as a "real world" reference and therefore illegal under R4(a). And you would have more credibility as an author if you'd bothered to spell "grammar" correctly.

[Xuskeuclite]

Keshi we are talking about you yourself not nation.

[The New California Republic]

This will fail as my nation is better with civil rights political freedom and the economy. But hey its worth a try.

Civil rights, political freedoms, and economic power mean nothing in relation to Security Council proposals.

[Willania Imperium]

This seems like kinda tit-for-tat/kneejerk reaction-y to recent events in the GA. Come back in a few months or a year if he keeps up his attitude. Otherwise, I don't think you'll find much support for this.

OOC: I agree. Sometimes, a nation will keep doing this for a while and eventually give up and become normal. It may be just a phase. Wait for some time to see if he ever stops. If he doesn't, then have it sent.

[Paquador]

I've taken out the reference to 'English' and added a clause to urge Keshiland to change his method.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

I've taken out the reference to 'English' and added a clause to urge Keshiland to change his method.

Still can't spell "grammar" though.

[Paquador]

This seems like kinda tit-for-tat/kneejerk reaction-y to recent events in the GA. Come back in a few months or a year if he keeps up his attitude. Otherwise, I don't think you'll find much support for this.

OOC: I agree. Sometimes, a nation will keep doing this for a while and eventually give up and become normal. It may be just a phase. Wait for some time to see if he ever stops. If he doesn't, then have it sent.

I will bear this in mind but as this has been going on for some time I will at least refine the proposal so it's ready to go.

[Willania Imperium]

I've taken out the reference to 'English' and added a clause to urge Keshiland to change his method.

You've misspelled "grammar." I think it is better to have a grammar check on you proposal. After all, it would seem hypocritical for a proposal condemning a nation for writing horrible proposals to have a lot of grammatical errors.

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

OOC: I agree. Sometimes, a nation will keep doing this for a while and eventually give up and become normal. It may be just a phase. Wait for some time to see if he ever stops. If he doesn't, then have it sent.

I will bear this in mind but as this has been going on for some time I will at least refine the proposal so it's ready to go.

Why bother? It's not going to get any traction and if he keeps submitting illegal proposals he'll lose his WA membership for a year.

[Paquador]

I've taken out the reference to 'English' and added a clause to urge Keshiland to change his method.

You've misspelled "grammar." I think it is better to have a grammar check on you proposal. After all, it would seem hypocritical for a proposal condemning a nation for writing horrible proposals to have a lot of grammatical errors.

It was updated a while ago, I don't know why it's still there. But the lesson is not to write when you're annoyed. So for that I apologise but this is why we have drafts. To iron these issues out. That's the whole point.

[Thermodolia]

This will fail as my nation is better with civil rights political freedom and the economy. But hey its worth a try.

Also FYI 20% of the population struggles with spelling due to differing levels of dyslexia.

Dude I have dyslexia but that doesn't give me an excuse to not attempt to spell correctly

[The Manticoran Empire]

Condemn Keshiland

A resolution to express shock and dismay at a nation or region.

Category: Condemnation | Nominee: Keshiland | Proposed by: Paquador
Description: The Security Council:

The World Assembly;

ANNOYED by the bombardment of numerous proposals from Keshiland to the General Assembly in a short space,

HORRIFIED by the poor standard of the proposals especially in regards to grammar,

DISAPPOINTED by the antagonistic attitude and ignorance of Keshiland towards numerous other member states who have made many quality and astute suggestions towards the proposals,

ANGRY at the lack of public discussion given to proposals before being submitted and the distasteful attempts made to avoid public scrutiny and the correct process for submitting proposals,

NOTING the anger of the ambassadors over the damage done to the WA reputation,

FURTHER NOTING the abject failure of all of the submitted proposals,

URGES Keshiland to use this as an opportunity to change course in order to became a productive member of the international community.

Hereby Condemns Keshiland.


Ooc: Want to get this submitted ASAP so please help out!

I do believe that a condemnation is not called for at this early point. But I don't see many other ways of making our grievances known.

[Attempted Socialism]

especially in regards to grammer and correct English,

I don't think you should include this because English might not be their native language. English might be a second language or one they are currently learning.

OOC: There were a litany of voices trying to correct him. It also seems that they're US residents, from their posting in General. I don't know the reason for their lack of coherence, but native language isn't the one. You can also see plenty of native or professional English speakers help out with other drafts, so it's not lack of availability of help.
However, I do agree that the sentence is poor, because 'especially' treats the lack of grammar and correct English as a reason on its own. I don't think it is - rather, it's a symptom of the disregard and animosity towards not just the current WA institutions, but even learning the basics of them as they currently are, and some minimum of respect towards those who try to teach Keshiland the rules and politics of it all. Replacing the quoted with something like "even with regards to the basics of writing resolutions such as grammar and correct English".
I would also suggest two lines like these:
"DISMAYED over the disregard shown towards the basic functionalities of the World Assembly,
FURTHER DISMAYED over the hostility shown to ambassadors and delegations who tried to educate Keshiland, including threats, violence and attempts at arrests,"

[Tinhampton]

Alexander Smith, Tinhamptonian Delegate-Ambassador to the World Assembly: Emphatically for this resolution. Why moan about ambassadors that write countless shitty proposals when you can just condemn the nations they represent?

---

Draft commentary: Good, but needs more padding out to succeed. Also, the "URGES" clause uses different first-word language to the rest of the resolution; if you want this clause to be in line, it should be "URGING Keshiland..." And now the gruesome OOC bits:

Ooc: Want to get this submitted ASAP so please help out!

I wouldn't recommend that, personally. Most good and well-written resolutions - if not all of them - have been drafted on these forums for a few weeks to get feedback and ideas before submission.

This will fail as my nation is better with civil rights political freedom and the economy.

• Most voters cast their ballots on resolutions based on what's in front of them, not what they have to "dig" to find out. You (general you) cannot realistically expect voters to oppose this resolution simply because the targeted nation is a New York Times Democracy.
• Keshiland, I know you might not be so happy, but it's not exactly guaranteed that this resolution will fall short of the list of passed SC resolutions. Case in point: Condemn Canterlot.
• Paquador, I'd advise more detail in your resolution in order to pad out just what exactly is condemnable about Keshiland. Don't expect the voters to dig out the facts for you - you can read Keshiland's posts here, but keep in mind the SC's strict tradition of opposing plagiarism and steering clear of real world references like the USA.

I would also suggest two lines like these:
"DISMAYED over the disregard shown towards the basic functionalities of the World Assembly,
FURTHER DISMAYED over the hostility shown to ambassadors and delegations who tried to educate Keshiland, including threats, violence and attempts at arrests,"

Just a note for OP that there is no rule that states that all proposals must be truthful, but be wary of the line between truth, falsification, and outright libel, and avoid fake information as much as possible - the above lines will probably be OK (although it is down to your personal judgement as to whether to extend this). Case in point: Commend Frattastan's second draft.

[Paquador]

OOC: There were a litany of voices trying to correct him. It also seems that they're US residents, from their posting in General. I don't know the reason for their lack of coherence, but native language isn't the one. You can also see plenty of native or professional English speakers help out with other drafts, so it's not lack of availability of help.
However, I do agree that the sentence is poor, because 'especially' treats the lack of grammar and correct English as a reason on its own. I don't think it is - rather, it's a symptom of the disregard and animosity towards not just the current WA institutions, but even learning the basics of them as they currently are, and some minimum of respect towards those who try to teach Keshiland the rules and politics of it all. Replacing the quoted with something like "even with regards to the basics of writing resolutions such as grammar and correct English".
I would also suggest two lines like these:
"DISMAYED over the disregard shown towards the basic functionalities of the World Assembly,
FURTHER DISMAYED over the hostility shown to ambassadors and delegations who tried to educate Keshiland, including threats, violence and attempts at arrests,"

I really like the suggestions here so I've added them, thank you Attempted Socialism. I have changed 'English' to language to prevent illegality in regards to references to real life.

[Paquador]

Ooc: Want to get this submitted ASAP so please help out!

I wouldn't recommend that, personally. Most good and well-written resolutions - if not all of them - have been drafted on these forums for a few weeks to get feedback and ideas before submission.

This was posted when I was in an agitated state, don't worry, I was planning to take time with it and I will do. Thanks for your feedback.

I would also suggest two lines like these:
"DISMAYED over the disregard shown towards the basic functionalities of the World Assembly,
FURTHER DISMAYED over the hostility shown to ambassadors and delegations who tried to educate Keshiland, including threats, violence and attempts at arrests,"

Just a note for OP that there is no rule that states that all proposals must be truthful, but be wary of the line between truth, falsification, and outright libel, and avoid fake information as much as possible - the above lines will probably be OK (although it is down to your personal judgement as to whether to extend this). Case in point: Commend Frattastan's second draft.

I may reword the second point slightly in order not to be accused of this and I will attempt to pad it out a bit more! Very appreciative of your suggestions, I'm new here so it's handy to have experienced commentators on hand.

[The Atlae Isles]

You might add that he was told by a mod (Frisbeeteria) to quit his behavior and start writing his proposals like the rest.

[Tinhampton]

You might add that he was told by a mod (Frisbeeteria) to quit his behavior and start writing his proposals like the rest.

But please keep in mind that - ironically - a proposal referring to moderators as "moderators" will be yanked by the moderators.

[Paquador]

We have a suggestion from Tinhampton:

EXTREMELY CONCERNED that, during the debate of their attempted repeal of GA#2 "Rights And Duties Of WA States", Keshiland used the repeal as a vehicle to promote their Federation of the WA - a widespreading institution intended to strip member states of their national sovereignty - that they would propose after the repeal's passage. During the long-running debate, Keshiland's ambassador to the WA, Sackeshi, was on record as:

• painting anti-repeal nations as being part of the WA establishment;
• threatening to turn [nation=short]Essu Beti[/nation], one opponent of the new federation, into "a water park", and calling their ambassador a "swamp man";
• proclaiming that "if your [sic] against me you will suffer!", and then afterwards sending guards to handcuff the ambassador of The Atlae Isles;
• saying "to hell with sovereignty its time for the WA to become the all powerful!"; and
• promising "a huge campaign argument for why people should vote yes" which turned out to read little more than "This legislation has hindered the WA for far to [sic] long", as many other ambassadors could testify;

Could we get some thoughts on this. Is this okay to go in?

[Kaboomlandia]

No. No. No. Hell No.

Kesh is new, but that doesn't make them even remotely close to condemnable.

Fully against.

[Tinhampton]

el snip

For the purposes of clarity, my telegram to Paquador on the matter said that (if this does go in), to quote the TG, it's "an idea to replace the FURTHER DISMAYED clause." It is not intended to supplement the FURTHER DISMAYED clause, but rather to replace it. For posterity, here it is (not my proposed replacement, that's already been posted on the thread):

FURTHER DISMAYED over the hostility shown to ambassadors and delegations who tried to educate Keshiland,