[Draft] Condemn Valkmar

[Dissant Machine Empire]

RECOGNIZING that the country of Valkmar has implemented laws to kill millions of people of any religion not pertaining to the Tetragrammaton and the worship of Valkmar's Fuhrer. The Valkmar government commits mass-murder against members of the Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish and Christian religions, along with condemning those in the LGBT community to death and those of different skin color.

APPALLED that any attempt to reason with the government of Valkmar by several different nations or even to compromise was denied immediately by their corrupt government and took no seriousness to any threats of invasion.

ANGERED by the fact that Valkmar is forcing everyone to join their religion, and all those who do not (including children) are shot immediately, including those of the LGBT community and different skin color. Any attempts to request deportation for those who do not abide by this law to more understanding nations has been denied. Quoting "They will burn on our land" - Valkmar

IN DISBELIEF that the government itself has admitted to killing millions of people within their nation, and has denied any chance of rescue for the mentioned civilians, along with having other nations co-author their laws with the government of Valkmar.

IRRITATED by the arrogance of The Empire of Valkmar denying any reasonable attempt of negotiation, and openly threatening multiple nations with out-right annihilation when in fact Valkmar does not have the power to do so.

CLARIFIES that that there have been several attempts already to stop The Empire of Valkmar, all of which have been promptly ignored and excused by its government, and has made fun of these nations for their attempts.

HEREBY condemns the Empire of Valkmar

(OOC: Yes I know there was another one that failed. The author and I are working on this new one which has new evidence. I will be submitting this one.)

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

Illegal, still. Read the rules first.

[Torisakia]

Illegal, still. Read the rules first.

How? Have I misread something?

[Paper Flowers]

Illegal, still. Read the rules first.

How? Have I misread something?

While not an expert on SC resolutions, I would question whether the use of "him" at the end of the IN DISBELIEF paragraph would be a rule 4 violation. Perhaps a "them" or "their government" or something similar would be more appropriate?

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

While not an expert on SC resolutions, I would question whether the use of "him" at the end of the IN DISBELIEF paragraph would be a rule 4 violation. Perhaps a "them" or "their government" or something similar would be more appropriate?

The delegation from Paper Flowers is correct. You cannot use personal pronouns such as her or him in your proposal, as it violates R4. The line "ANGERED by the fact that their nation" could also be considered an R4 violation. Who's nation is it referring to-the players? I would replace that clause with "ANGERED by the fact that Valkmar" or "ANGERED by the fact that the government of Valkmar," which would make it more clear and assuredly rule-compliant. Some formatting also wouldn't hurt. I've posted what I would edit in below, and it's fairly extensive.

RECOGNIZING that Valkmar has implemented laws to kill millions of people of any religion not pertaining to the Tetragrammaton (what's that?), and that the government of Valkmar has committed mass-murder against members of the Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish and Christian religions, along with condemning those in the LGBT community to death, as well as those of different skin color. (This whole section is a bit wordy-it's a bit of a run-on sentence. Perhaps something more streamlined such as:

RECOGNIZING that Valkmar has implemented laws to kill millions of people of any religion not pertaining to the Tetragrammaton, and that the government of Valkmar has committed mass-murder against people of various religions, sexual orientation, and ethnicity.

APPALLED that any attempt to reason with them by several different nations or even to compromise was denied immediately by their corrupt government and took no seriousness to any threats of invasion. (Poorly worded, and not a very well-constructed sentence. A suggestion is shown below.)

APPALLED that Valkmar has hitherto been uncompromising and unbending pertaining to reasonable discussion of these crimes and that the government was not swayed by threats of invasion

ANGERED by the fact that Valkmar is forcing everyone to join their (get rid of the "their" somehow-the national religion of Valkmar, Christianity, etc.) religion, and all those who do not (including children) are shot immediately, including those of the LGBT community and different skin color (you just said all people, no need to specify one group here), and any attempts to at least requests to deport those who do not abide by this law to more understanding nations has been denied. Quoting "They will burn on our land" - Valkmar

IN DISBELIEF that the government itself has admitted to killing millions of people within their nation, and has denied any chance of rescue for the mentioned civilians, along with having other nations co-author their laws with him (How is this last bit relevant to the previous two points? You go from murder to law-making in one clause, and it doesn't flow).

IN DISBELIEF that the government itself has admitted to killing millions of people within Valkmar, and has denied any chance of rescue for the mentioned civilians, along with having other nations co-author their laws with him (Give this last part another clause of its own or remove it completely. Why should another nation get to make laws for my country? Condemn me for that too!).

IRRITATED by the arrogance of The Empire of Valkmar denying any reasonable attempt of negotiation, and openly threatening multiple nations with out-right annihilation when in fact Valkmar does not have the power to do so.

CLARIFIES that that there have been several attempts already to stop The Empire of Valkmar, all of which have been promptly ignored and excused by its government, which has made fun of these nations for their attempts.

HEREBY condemns the Empire of Valkmar

[Torisakia]

RECOGNIZING that the country of Valkmar has implemented laws to kill millions of people of any religion not pertaining to the Tetragrammaton and the worship of Valkmar's Fuhrer. The Valkmar government commits mass-murder against members of the Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish and Christian religions, along with condemning those in the LGBT community to death and those of different skin color.

APPALLED that any attempt to reason with the government of Valkmar by several different nations or even to compromise was denied immediately by their corrupt government and took no seriousness to any threats of invasion.

ANGERED by the fact that Valkmar is forcing everyone to join their religion, and all those who do not (including children) are shot immediately, including those of the LGBT community and different skin color. Any attempts to request deportation for those who do not abide by this law to more understanding nations has been denied. Quoting "They will burn on our land" - Valkmar

IN DISBELIEF that the government itself has admitted to killing millions of people within their nation, and has denied any chance of rescue for the mentioned civilians, along with having other nations co-author their laws with the government of Valkmar.

IRRITATED by the arrogance of The Empire of Valkmar denying any reasonable attempt of negotiation, and openly threatening multiple nations with out-right annihilation when in fact Valkmar does not have the power to do so.

CLARIFIES that that there have been several attempts already to stop The Empire of Valkmar, all of which have been promptly ignored and excused by its government, and has made fun of these nations for their attempts.

HEREBY condemns the Empire of Valkmar

(OOC: Yes I know there was another one that failed. The author and I are working on this new one which has new evidence. I will be submitting this one.)

M'kay. Looks like our 2nd chance is going to fail. Valkmar now has 2 failed condemnation against him.

[Skyrim Diplomacy]

M'kay. Looks like our 2nd chance is going to fail. Valkmar now has 2 failed condemnation against him.

If you would stay here, on the forums, and do some drafting like this first before submitting, that wouldn't is less likely to happen!

[Torisakia]

M'kay. Looks like our 2nd chance is going to fail. Valkmar now has 2 failed condemnation against him.

If you would stay here, on the forums, and do some drafting like this first before submitting, that wouldn't is less likely to happen!

Even if it was good, it probably wouldn't get enough approvals anyway.

[Topid]

If you would stay here, on the forums, and do some drafting like this first before submitting, that wouldn't is less likely to happen!

Even if it was good, it probably wouldn't get enough approvals anyway.

It takes a strong telegram campaign to make a proposal reach quorum. Seventy-five delegates aren't going to notice your proposal unless you point it out to them. It has always taken me anywhere from 200-500 telegrams to make a proposal reach quorum, and that just depends on how popular the target/subject is.

But if you are willing to take the time to draft a legal and appealing text, then also take the time to campaign fairly hard, it really isn't too difficult to get a resolution to vote. It really is just a matter of how much time one is willing to put in.