[PASSED] Repeal “Injunct Empires Forever United"

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

OK, pedantic grammar fix time as well as a few personal preference things to clean up the resolution.

Comma is needed after (henceforth known as EFU),

The second clause should be re-written as follows - edits in blue.

Acknowledging that in the present day the resolution has become a significant impediment for the region and which is detrimental to both the its regional security and development,

The following clause is a bit long.

Recognising that the Injunction has inadvertently damaged EFU’s security, as it has allowedallowing the region to become a prime target for tag raids, something that many have sadly taken advantage of, which have caused major disruptions to the regional government,as a lack of a stable World Assembly Delegate has caused the region to decline in magnetism and security,

That's all for now.

Read the convo between u and HR. I’ve defo changed “the” to “its” I’ll consider the other changes carefully.

Once I’ve finalised this change. Should I move it into last call or wait for more feedback? I’m in no rush to submit so I was prepared to wait

[Dengist China]

Read the convo between u and HR. I’ve defo changed “the” to “its” I’ll consider the other changes carefully.

Once I’ve finalised this change. Should I move it into last call or wait for more feedback? I’m in no rush to submit so I was prepared to wait

Don't change it to last call until people start getting on board completely imo. After all, people took issue with the 'taking issue' clause, so there's that.

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

/bump

[Orcuo]

Support.

[The Crusader Kings]

Already sculpted into a great proposal, and I have nothing more to add. For, if only because the region doesn't need to be injuncted anymore.

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

I have been deliberating for some time about what to do with the “Taking issue” clause. A lot of people have pointed out it sticks out in the draft of which I agree.

If anyone had any suggestions please feel free to reply

[Krzyzewskiville]

I have been deliberating for some time about what to do with the “Taking issue” clause. A lot of people have pointed out it sticks out in the draft of which I agree.

If anyone had any suggestions please feel free to reply

Perhaps:

"Reflecting that the "reiterating" clause, while true at the time of the target, is no longer accurate"

I still think the grammar of the Recognising clause is off. It feels run-on and like the clauses don't flow well together. You can take or leave my thoughts, but here is a suggestion that I think gets the essence of it while flowing better, at least for me.

"Recognising that, while the Injunction initially improved EFU's security, it is now damaging security by allowing the region to become a frequent target of tag raids, which continue to disrupt the regional government and cause it to decline in magnetism and security"

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

I have been deliberating for some time about what to do with the “Taking issue” clause. A lot of people have pointed out it sticks out in the draft of which I agree.

If anyone had any suggestions please feel free to reply

Perhaps:

"Reflecting that the "reiterating" clause, while true at the time of the target, is no longer accurate"

I still think the grammar of the Recognising clause is off. It feels run-on and like the clauses don't flow well together. You can take or leave my thoughts, but here is a suggestion that I think gets the essence of it while flowing better, at least for me.

"Recognising that, while the Injunction initially improved EFU's security, it is now damaging security by allowing the region to become a frequent target of tag raids, which continue to disrupt the regional government and cause it to decline in magnetism and security"

Thanks! I'll keep in mind your suggestion of the recognising clause

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

/bump

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

Proposal has been moved to last call.

I’ll probably submit in about a week or two

[Northern Slatavia]

Support.

[The Orwell Society]

Support

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

The Security Council,

Agreeing with the original intent of the proposal as being a genuine attempt to prevent invading forces from capturing ‪Empires Forever United‬ (henceforth known as EFU) and preventing it from falling into raider hands,

Small addition (in green) to the text.

Acknowledging that in the present day the resolution has become a significant impediment for the region and is detrimental to both its regional security and development,

As you’re talking about the region the use of “regional” seems unnecessary.

Reflecting that the "reiterating" clause, while true at the time of the target's Injunction, has not been accurate for a long time while

I think this clause should come before the previous one as they then run together talking about security. Minor text change as well.

Recognising that the Injunction has inadvertently damaged EFU’s security as it has allowed the region become a prime target for tag raids, something that many have sadly taken advantage of which have caused causing major disruptions to the regional government due to the lack of a stable World Assembly Delegate has caused the region to decline in magnetism and security,

Some suggested changes in this clause. The last bits are really a repeat of the first parts of the clause.

Realising that due to the region’s unbalanced and fragile situation, it is more beneficial for the region residents to be given the option to transition to a stronghold which will permanently secure the region it under native control,

Repetition of “region” removed.

Believing that Security Council resolution 524 has fulfilled its purpose a long time ago and has been long overdue for a repeal,

Hereby Repeals SC #524

As I went through it I kept finding more bits that could be changed. Most of the changes are wording and minor, removing some repetition and just one suggestion for changing the position of a clause.

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

yeah I can see. I defo agree with the positioning.

changes made!

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

/bump

[Bhang Bhang Duc]

Some very, very minor nit-picks

The Security Council,

Agreeing with the original intent of the proposal as being a genuine attempt to prevent thwart invading forces from capturing ‪Empires Forever United‬ (henceforth known as EFU) and preventing it from falling into raider hands,

I’ve been at the thesaurus again and I think “thwart” sounds better than “prevent”.

Reflecting that the "reiterating" clause, while true at the time of the target's Injunction, has not been accurate for a long time while,

I did previously suggest using “while” to prevent repetition of the word “time”.

Acknowledging that in the present day the resolution has become a significant impediment for the region and is detrimental to both its security and development,

All good.

Recognising that the Injunction has inadvertently damaged EFU’s security as it has allowed the region to become a prime target for tag raids, something that many have sadly taken advantage of which have caused causing major disruptions to the regional government due to the lack of a stable World Assembly Delegate,

Should be “to become”. Replace “which have caused” with “causing”.

Realising that due to the region’s unbalanced and fragile situation, it is more beneficial for the residents to be given the option to transition to a stronghold which will permanently secure it under native control,

All good

Believing that Security Council resolution #524 has fulfilled its purpose a long time ago and has been long overdue for a repeal,

Hereby Repeals SC #524

For consistency the highlighted bit should have the hashtag as shown.

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

Some very, very minor nit-picks

The Security Council,

Agreeing with the original intent of the proposal as being a genuine attempt to prevent thwart invading forces from capturing ‪Empires Forever United‬ (henceforth known as EFU) and preventing it from falling into raider hands,

I’ve been at the thesaurus again and I think “thwart” sounds better than “prevent”.

Reflecting that the "reiterating" clause, while true at the time of the target's Injunction, has not been accurate for a long time while,

I did previously suggest using “while” to prevent repetition of the word “time”.

Acknowledging that in the present day the resolution has become a significant impediment for the region and is detrimental to both its security and development,

All good.

Recognising that the Injunction has inadvertently damaged EFU’s security as it has allowed the region to become a prime target for tag raids, something that many have sadly taken advantage of which have caused causing major disruptions to the regional government due to the lack of a stable World Assembly Delegate,

Should be “to become”. Replace “which have caused” with “causing”.

Realising that due to the region’s unbalanced and fragile situation, it is more beneficial for the residents to be given the option to transition to a stronghold which will permanently secure it under native control,

All good

Believing that Security Council resolution #524 has fulfilled its purpose a long time ago and has been long overdue for a repeal,

Hereby Repeals SC #524

For consistency the highlighted bit should have the hashtag as shown.

Ah, must have missed “while” changes inplemented.

I also added “it” in front of the “has not been accurate” as I think it makes it sounds a bit better.

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

I’ve also decided to add the link the region. Pretty minor but useful addition

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

Submitted. if any delegates are reading please approve the resolution

[Flameport 15]

Noticed this proposal is lacking any approvals- have you sent a campaign either via telegram or Discord?

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

Noticed this proposal is lacking any approvals- have you sent a campaign either via telegram or Discord?

I've sent a few and posted it in the WA discord. Then again I have JUST submitted it so maybe it needs more time?

[Merethin]

Noticed this proposal is lacking any approvals- have you sent a campaign either via telegram or Discord?

I've sent a few and posted it in the WA discord. Then again I have JUST submitted it so maybe it needs more time?

Approvals aren't going to be coming in passively. Ideally you should send a campaign telegram to all delegates if you want to be able to make it to quorum. If you don't have the stamps for it, this website can help you campaign manually: https://canineanimal.github.io/GDRecruit/pages/cam.html

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

I've sent a few and posted it in the WA discord. Then again I have JUST submitted it so maybe it needs more time?

Approvals aren't going to be coming in passively. Ideally you should send a campaign telegram to all delegates if you want to be able to make it to quorum. If you don't have the stamps for it, this website can help you campaign manually: https://canineanimal.github.io/GDRecruit/pages/cam.html

Thank you! I've been looking for something like this

[Adriatic Democratic Empire]

/bump

[The Orwell Society]

/bump

…there’s absolutely no reason to bump it when the thread’s last post was yesterday and you’ve already submitted it.