About Gratwick
In theory, Catherine Gratwick has been in the continuity of RP (especially GA RP) as the secretary general prior to the introduction of elections in 2016. (Ms Gratwick is also NSUN Secretary-General prior to the destruction of that body). So the declaration references her as a former secretary general who haunts the halls of the Security Council, rather than the current actual Secretary General, since both have their commendations and Kuriko is still officially Secretary General. There is also a long-running RP (that's more GA) that she never gave up her position (or that she's drawing a salary anyway).
Gratwick is also recycled in numerous issues, hence there is a reference to her constant appearances in the affairs of nations, at 17, the most according to the counts kept over at Got Issues - #100, #101, #124, #158, #173, #188, #197, #200, #206, #232, #499, #501, #752, #855, #1065, #1122, #1475. Although in that version she appears to be used by the Issues Editors as a much younger character than the Sec-Gen version since she is for example referred to once as a film star.
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=488462
Draft 3
Category: Declaration
The Security Council,
Appalled that Her Infinite Terribleness, Queen of Gnomes, Keeper of the Unmentionable Records, the Wrathful Secretary-General Catherine Gratwick has haunted the hallowed halls of this esteemed organ since antiquity as the one true Secretary-General holding a lifetime appointment, despite the complete lack of evidence on her appointment in the first place, and elections for the post for the last two terms of office, thus making her status as Secretary-General of anything highly dubious at best and a complete usurper at worst;
Shocked that the iconic Gratwick received the gift of immortality and youth from mysterious forces beyond the comprehension of the multiverse, allowing her to appear in the shape and age of every sapient species, and her ability to time travel giving her (allegedly) a sheer malignant and capricious role in every conceivable atrocious crime against humanity, such as wars, famines, pandemics, and the serial comma;
Perturbed that Gratwick’s time travel ability lets her (and her ancestors, including Elizabeth Gratwick) permeate every aspect of the government of member nations (as well as that of millions of non-members), in such areas as acting as the occasional menacing leader of neighboring nations, contributing to cancer research, championing women’s suffrage, driving trucks mounted with grenade launchers firing at anyone who trespasses on her vast holdings of properties, selling miracle diets, winning national dance offs, as well as gaining worldwide renown as a best-selling author, celebrated model, film star, pageant aficionado, and painter of trains, among a wide variety of other prominent roles;
Terrified that the "colossal fireball of extra-dimensional inanity" described that destroyed previous incarnations of certain organs for global power was (again, allegedly) the concoction of none other than Gratwick herself, who sought to gain power over the entire multiverse no matter what the cost, and that her antics continue to this day with constant hamster uprisings, some of which having only been put down recently with the death of trillions of hamsters;
Dismayed that Gratwick has apparently been on paid leave since time immemorial despite her giant colossus standing tall over parts of the multiverse, and is somehow still on the payroll (to emphasize, allegedly) despite the presence of democratically-elected leaders, thus succeeding in drawing away vast treasures from this prestigious organ into her bank vaults without doing any actual work, nor having any work for starters given that the Secretary-General was a post with absolutely no powers, a nightmare to the taxpayers of member nations but a euphoric dream for the ministers, ambassadors, diplomats, and assorted hangers-on of this revered organ;
Pleading to Gratwick in the firm believe the Security Council (and its neighbor) suffer from such atrocious and decadent behavior as to merit another bigger fireball of extra-dimensional inanity to be launched against them, in order to provide the sweet release required by many of the ambassadors to this esteemed organ;
The SC hereby declares the member nations’ undying loyalty and fealty, and/or dreadful contempt and vile hatred of Catherine Gratwick.
Co-authors: you know whom you are.
Char count: 3,205